Covenant Fellowship Church Family Life Ministry

We've moved!

2009-03-02T06:00:00.001-05:00

The Family Life blog has become the CFC blog. Check us out at our new home located at www.covfel.org. You can directly link to it here.

Our New Church-wide Blog!

2009-02-27T06:00:00.000-05:00

Have you been to our church web-site recently? It’s all NEW – much more helpful, and much more user-friendly. Take a few minutes and check it out. It's the same place, www.covfel.org with a new look.

In concert with the new web site we are making a significant change in our blog. We’re going church-wide. Over the past few months as we’ve seen how the blog has served our families and marriages so well, and how the use of it continues to grow, we’ve thought that this tool could be helpful for the whole church as well. So, beginning Monday, March 2, the Family Life Blog will become the CFC Blog.

How will things change? We’ll still have the same purpose to ‘engage, inform, and inspire’ the people of Covenant Fellowship. And we’re still going to work with our format of focusing on a different area of life each day during the five day week. But in order for it to serve the church beyond our Family Life Ministry, here’s the new daily line-up.

Monday: The Pastor’s Study. Jared will be taking over this day, offering his thoughts on stuff that matters. He may draw in other pastors on this as well. And we’ll continue to have occasional ‘wisdom for the week’ segments with significant quotes to stir your soul.

Tuesday: Tuesday at the Fivebucks. Tuesdays remain dedicated to the women. But now we’ll also include the perspectives of some of the single ladies in the church as well.

Wednesday: Family Day. We’re combining our Wedded Wednesdays and Family Fridays into one day called Family Day. Please note that we’ll continue to have things on parenting and marriage showing up in our Tuesday and Thursday posts as well.

Thursday: Take Five. Thursdays are the domain of the guys, but we’ll be including some single brothers into the blog mix.

Friday: Mission Friday. We’re really excited about this new day. There is so much that happens in the church that is fruit of the advance of the Gospel that we don’t have time to share in other forums. So we wanted to dedicate a day each week to celebrate and explore what God is doing both here and at times beyond our church. For example, we’ll have a chance to highlight some of the amazing stories from the recent Covenant Mercies medical E-team to Uganda, to report on the upcoming college age New Orleans E-team, to highlight the effect of Gospel Outreaches, Second Saturdays, Alpha, etc. You’ll learn the stories of people arrested by the Gospel. And, of course, with Dave Harvey in residence, we’ll have access to cutting edge thinking and action in the world of church planting and missions.

This all begins next Monday. You can access the new blog either by clicking on the CFC Blog Icon on the home page, or going to the “Resources” drop down menu. Please pass the word around. There are a gazillion blogs out there. This is the only one for CFC by CFC. The CFC Blog.

A Bulldawg Story

2009-02-26T06:00:00.000-05:00

I’m a lifelong Georgia Bulldog football fan. One of the things that makes it particularly easy to root for the ‘Dawgs’ these days is their head coach, Mark Richt. Mark is a top quality head coach who also happens to be a very upfront Christian man.

If you’ve ever seen the movie “Facing the Giants”, there’s a scene where the high school coach is in the locker room before the big state championship football game. In walks a strapping man who is referred to just as ‘Coach’, who proceeds to encourage the high school coach on the game, but more importantly on playing for the glory of God. That ‘Coach’ is Mark Richt, and the little movie cameo tells you a couple of things about him. For one, it tells you how big football is in the state of Georgia, where the movie was filmed. He comes into the movie and isn’t even named, yet the viewer is supposed to know this appearance is a BIG DEAL in the movie. But more important, the fact that Richt is willing to come into an overtly evangelistic movie and lend his cache tells you something about what he wants to represent.

This past October ESPN ran a feature story on Richt in a lesser known aspect of his life – his role as husband and father. The piece describes the Richt family’s adoption of two small children from the Ukraine. Mark Richt is a major college football coach, but his impact seems to be significant off the field as well.

Check it out.

All We Could Ever Hope For

2009-02-25T06:00:00.000-05:00

It is a wonderful thing…to be known by our spouse. To feel understood…to know that you are truly loved…as you are. For some, this reality comes and goes. For still others, this is just a hope…a wish. For these people, marriage is not a place where they are truly known and loved, but a place where they are judged…misunderstood…taken for granted.

And so, we hold out hope that things will change. We long to be understood…to be truly loved…as we are. We long to be known and not rejected. The longing is a right one to have…we were designed by a loving Creator to be known and not rejected…to be loved as we are. And, though it is a wonderful thing when it happens with a spouse, marriage is not the primary place that this knowing and loving ought to occur.

Consider Psalm 103 for a moment. If you have the time, read the whole thing. (You won’t regret it.) If not, at least consider these verses:

6The LORD works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. 7 He made known his ways to Moses, his acts to the people of Israel. 8 The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. 9 He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. 10 He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. 13 As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him. 14 For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.

To be truly known…and truly loved, we are to turn to the Lord first. We are to see his righteousness and justice on our behalf. We are to see his mercy and grace, his patience and love directed toward us. We are to see our sin, yes, but moreso his kindness in not repaying us according to our iniquities. We are to see that he knows our frame…and that such a great God considers just how lowly we are…and has compassion upon us.

We are to see these things and rest. Rest, knowing that we are known. Rest, knowing that we are objects of mercy and grace, not wrath and condemnation. When we were unlovable and opposed to God, God loved us and drew us near. As high and as far as we can imagine, so great is God’s steadfast love toward us.

It is a wonderful thing…to be known by our spouse. To experience the grace and mercy that comes in a truly knowing and understanding marriage relationship. How much greater is the joy, the peace, the comfort of resting in the great knowledge of Christ. He knows are frame, our flaws, our sin, our weaknesses. And, in the face of those, showers his children with love, compassion, and longsuffering. Truly, this is all we could ever hope for. Praise God for hope…and his provision in fulfilling that hope. How great is our God.

Hot Chocolate Anyone?

2009-02-24T06:00:00.000-05:00

Not too long ago my daughter Rosie and I went for an early morning walk before breakfast. I walk and she rides her scooter—good exercise for both of us. She’s a real trooper especially since winter mornings can be so cold. As we entered the kitchen I was starving! She asked if I would make her some hot chocolate, but the first thing that came to my mind was my loud stomach and hunger pangs! I announced it was time for her to learn to make her own hot chocolate. I barked out the steps as she got the milk and the chocolate sauce out. Meanwhile I was chomping down on my shredded wheat (something not even tasty—which my family continually reminds me). She finally got her hot chocolate, but as she sat down I was off toward the rest of my day and my agenda.

Later that morning we were reading the book "Heaven for kids" by Randy Alcorn, and the few pages we read were about good deeds which do not earn our way to Heaven, but nonetheless please God and can bring rewards for us in heaven. Alcorn gave some examples saying, “Good works include helping and doing kind things for people, such as visiting someone in a nursing home, baking cookies for your neighbor, or making hot chocolate for a family member.” (p. 105). Startling, you would think. But I was dull to my heart, and it took a while for this timely little rebuke to from the Lord to sink in. Later that night, by God’s grace, I was able to confess at our fellowship group, and I started to see my selfishness and God’s grace to reveal it to me. “For truly I say to you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ will by no means lose his reward.” (Mark 9:41) I realize I missed an opportunity that day, but thankfully the lesson has not been lost on me. I try to be quick now to offer hot chocolate when we return, and I am the one who is blessed when I see her face as she slurps up those marshmallows.

God is so kind to not leave us to ourselves. If any of you ladies can relate to my selfishness and the difficulty of serving your children over and over in what seems at times to be a thankless job, remember that the Lord is not asleep. He is an ever present help. He is able to bring our sins to our attention, grant us forgiveness and extend grace for change. He cares about even the smallest things. He will bless the dishing of love in any form we give it – hot chocolate included. What an amazing God we serve!

Affliction and the Pedagogy of God

2009-02-23T06:00:00.000-05:00

Pedagogy is an old word with Greek origins that means ‘teaching’. When we talk about the ‘pedagogy’ of God we’re talking about how God is a teacher to his people. We’re accustomed to thinking about how God teaches as the Spirit opens our minds and hearts in the experience of hearing or reading God’s word. But God also pedagogues us through our afflictions. Whether we learn what God is teaching depends on whether we acknowledge or embrace what some have called ‘the school of affliction’ – seeing God’s merciful and wise hand in the difficulties we face in life. In a post on the Desiring God web site, John Piper recently gave his thoughts on God’s education of his children in the school of affliction.

In this week's Taste & See Article, I pointed out from Psalm 119: 67 and 71 that God sends affliction to help us learn his word.

‘Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word. . . . It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.’

I didn't ask how affliction helps us understand God's word and keep it. There are innumerable answers, as there are innumerable experiences. But here are five:

Affliction takes the glibness of life away and makes us more serious so that our mindset is more in tune with the seriousness of God's word.
Affliction knocks worldly props from under us and forces us to rely more on God which brings us more in tune with the aim of the word.
Affliction makes us search the scriptures with greater desperation for help rather than treating it as marginal to life.
Affliction brings us into the fellowship of Christ's sufferings so that we fellowship more closely with him and see the world more readily through his eyes.
Affliction mortifies deceitful and distracting fleshly desires, and so brings us into a more spiritual frame which fits God's word more.

I pray that we will not begrudge the pedagogy of God.

So, fellow disciple, what are you learning in your afflictions class these days?

Walls of Water

2009-02-20T06:00:00.000-05:00

We have some very creative teens in our church. Recently, Ruth Feldman read the following dramatic retelling of the crossing of the Red Sea in our Cross Culture Group. Ruth’s creative use of language brings a very familiar Bible story to life. Enjoy!

Walls of Water
By Ruth Feldman

I turned around, catching a glimpse of the helmets’ and chariots’ metal glinting in the moonlight.
“Come on!” my cousin cried pushing me forward. The pillar of cloud moved behind us, blocking our view of the pursuing Egyptians. I didn’t like that because I don’t like at all to be chased by something I can’t see. No matter how hard I have tried in previous times the pillar of cloud is so thick that I can’t see thru it.
The group jerked to a stop and I pulled myself out of my thoughts. We were in front of the sea.
“Oh no!” I heard someone cry. There was a mummer of voices that grew louder and the sea tumbled about and roared over it. I could only hear snatches of what they were saying—the sea tossed and the Egyptians pressed in behind us.
I shivered with fear and the people around me lifted up their voices to God. A few grumbled against Moses. “What have you done?” they moaned. “It would have been better to serve the Egyptians than starve in the wilderness.”
I didn’t exactly like what they were saying, but I wished someone would hurry up and do something. If there was anything to be done. It sounded as if the Egyptians were closing in on us.
Moses began speaking, and the people’s voices hushed. “Fear not, stand firm and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will work for you and you have only to be silent.”
Moses stretched out his hand over the sea and there was a strong gust of wind that nearly knocked me off my feet. The sea churned and began to part, like a curtain being pulled back, a wall of blue and green on either side.
I gasped along with everyone else around me. As soon as there was a big enough opening Moses and Aaron began to walk through and slowly the people began to follow. I walked forward with the rest of the throng of Israelites and gingerly stepped onto the sand between the walls of water, expecting the sand to be wet and my feet to sink into it. But it was dry.
I giggled—I couldn’t help it. Here we were being pursued by our enemies and we were walking through the sea as if it was a street in Pharaoh’s city.
I heard the Egyptians follow us into the sea, but everyone calmly kept walking, though I would have liked it if we quickened our pace. The sea kept unfurling, making more room for the people and the livestock.
We kept walking and it grew quieter except for a few snorts from the oxen nearby and the creak of our wagons. There was an eerie silence, and I could feel the tension in the air. The sea had stopped moving and there were two towering waves on either side of us, hovering like the walls of a fortress.
The stars twinkling above us began to fade and the sun began to rise, streaking the sky with color. I began to focus on the brightening sky to keep my mind off the unpleasant thoughts that kept creeping into my head.
Suddenly there were shout of confusion and panic. I swung around to see what was happening, but I saw nothing except the large pillar of cloud swirling around us.
Horses whinnied frightenedly and I heard orders being shouted.
“Hurry up!” someone yelled. “We’re almost to the end!”
There seemed to be a fresh burst of energy and everyone ran to the shore.
As quickly as they could, the men herded the livestock away from the sea’s edge and Moses again stretched his hand over the sea. The wind stopped and the blue-green walls began rolling in to meet each other. I raised my hands to cover my ears so I wouldn’t hear the terror in the screams of Pharaoh’s army, but the roar of the waves closing in upon each other drowned out everything else.
Mother gasped and everyone was too shocked to move. God had protected us and all we had to do was put one foot in front of the other. But presently someone did move, with a tambourine.
“I will sing unto the Lord for he has triumphed gloriously. The horse and rider he has thrown into the sea.”

Family Devotions

2009-02-19T06:00:00.000-05:00

Family devotions with 3 little boys is always an adventure. I’ve seen peaceful seconds of holy teaching about Jesus and His love erupt into an all out battle over who gets to help daddy turn the page in the Bible. One moment I’m exegeting on God’s slowness to anger and abounding love, the next I’m raising my voice as if to act out God on Mt. Sinai bringing wrath upon kids who can’t control their little wiggling bodies. Yeah, we have a long way to go in this house. Yet, by the grace of God, we continue on. At the short time we’ve been at this, here are some things I’ve seen God really bless for us that may be an encouragement for other families with young kids:

Start with realistic expectations. Long, deep devotionals, I’ve noticed, don’t generally work with energetic 2 and 3 year olds. Our most effective moments are usually those that are short, sweet and to the point. One truth, point of application for that day, a prayer for grace and we’re on our way. It helps, too, to point back to this throughout the day, reminding them of what we learned and highlighting ways God answered prayers prayed that morning.
Promise Kingdom lessons are our friends. Repetition and routine really impact our kids. I take Sunday’s children’s ministry lesson and work through it slowly with them Monday through Friday. God always gives some fresh application or something new pops out that we didn’t see the day before. On Saturday we begin discussing the lesson for the next week.
Don’t forget the memory verses. My kids love these. They like it when we all compete as a family to see who can say it “all by myself!” It’s a good way for all of us to be hiding the Word in our hearts. Taken from the Promise Kingdom plan, we work on one verse a month.
Switch it up. Doing different things to keep their attention has been effective. Sometimes we look at and talk about the pictures in the Big Picture Story Bible. Other times we take images from their other favorite books to explain a biblical concept. Most often we simply read and talk about the words in the passage that carry tangible images for the kids. And sometimes we just do our memory verse and pray. Changing things up a bit keeps all of our attention and makes it fun.
Lead by example. The best thing I can do to foster a love in our kids for God’s Word is to love it myself. Our family devotions are vibrant when I’ve been regularly in God’s word and excited about learning and growing in Him.

Of course, it always helps to remember the reason why we do all this and God’s promises to bless His Word. Our hope and our prayer is that the Lord will bless these times and that through the truths of His Word, our children will come to know and love Him as their God and Savior. Since He has “brought us forth by the word of truth,” we have hope that He will act on our children’s hearts that they may “receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save [their] souls” James 1:18, 21.

Avoiding Marital Shorthand

2009-02-18T06:00:00.000-05:00

Do you remember the show M*A*S*H? Remember that teddy-bear-loving, company clerk, Radar O’Reilly? He had the uncanny ability of finishing other people’s thoughts and sentences. He began carrying out directions before his superior officer was done giving them. After a while, particularly with Colonel Henry Blake, the instructions became incomplete and spotty because he already knew what Colonel Blake was going to say.

Have you noticed this can sometimes happen in our marriages? One spouse starts a thought and the other finishes it. At times, this can be a great asset and, I suppose, it’s only natural as people get to know each other. But, as beneficial as this can be, there is often a dangerous side effect that is not nearly as helpful…I call it marital shorthand.

Rather than, “Gina, can you please get me a drink of water” it becomes “Hon, I need some water.” Rather than, “Gina, I’m so sorry for what I said, will you please forgive me for being insensitive and vengeful?” it becomes “Hon, I was an idiot.”

We assume, because our spouse knows our thoughts, that they know we are thankful…they know we are sorry. And, before long, we drift from incomplete thoughts, such as those listed above, to the unspoken thought. “She knows I love her…she doesn’t need me to say it.” Marital shorthand on a steep decline.

How can you know if you’ve fallen victim to marital shorthand? Here’s just a couple helpful signs:

- The absence of basic manners: Assuming that basic manners are a regular part of your life with your friends and co-workers, the absence of basic manners with your spouse could indicate the presence of marital shorthand. Take the time to say please, thank you, excuse me, I’m sorry, will you forgive me, your welcome, God bless you, etc. It’s worth the effort.

- Creating offenses where none were intended: Though there are additional reasons this might be occurring, it is worth asking the question, “Has my curtness of speech created an offense?”

- Is my manner of speaking significantly different than when we first got married?: Do you tell your spouse of your love as often as you once did? Are you as intentional with your words now as you were 5, 10, 15, 20 years ago?

In addition to these symptoms, one sign of caution should be pointed out to you. You may be newly married or in a present state of marital bliss. You should know that on the final step before the plunge into marital shorthand stands a sign which reads, “Sweetheart, this could never happen to us!” If you’ve said that during your reading of this blog, buckle your seat belt…you’re probably in for a plunge.

Marital shorthand comes on like a friend: “I guess we’re getting to know each other really well…look how comfortable we are talking to each other.” But, in the end, it serves as a fierce enemy: “What ever happened to our love? We’re not as close as we once were.”

Celebrate when you are so close that you can finish each other’s sentences. Such relational intimacy is worth celebrating. After all, Radar was a handy guy to have around. However, when you lose kindness and grace from your speech, cancel the celebration and start a prayer meeting. Such conversational carelessness will surely work against you and your marriage in the end.

That Time of Year

2009-02-17T06:00:00.000-05:00

Editor’s note: its flu season and families throughout the church are feeling the effects. Flu bugs running through a family can be a particular challenge for moms, who must add the role of nurse to their already bulging job description. Of course it’s always understood that ‘a mom can never get sick’, so when you do there’s the additional temptation to press on rather than rest and recover. Just about this time last year Christina Roth sent in a post we didn’t have a chance to use that seems particularly timely for Flu season 2009.

It came, later than I expected, but it came. It’s the dreaded season when all the Roth kids get sick. I feel trapped in the never-ending cycle of wiping noses and many tears, washing soiled bedding, giving asthma treatments, hot showers and endless teaspoons of the miracle drug Motrin (preferably bubble gum flavor). Unfortunately, this season even included a recent trip to riddle emergency room. These are days I feel like I’m on auto pilot…I’m sure you can relate. I’m caught up in the business of it all, wondering when it will end. Though I continue my morning devotions, I often find myself feeling far from the Lord in the midst of my weariness. Flu season can do a number on your spiritual perspective.

During this season my prayers were little more than short cries to the Father, “Lord help him”, “Lord please heal her”, and then “Lord help me, I need to hear your voice.” Doesn’t He always answer these prayers? He did… while I was reading from a book by Anne Ortlund called “The Gentle Ways of the Beautiful Woman”. She writes “If you have made God your highest priority of all, he is there. You are learning to abide in him, and he in you. There is calm, there is peace. He is your refuge, to which you continually run.” That’s it! It’s times like these when I truly learn how to abide in Him. Even when I’m tired from treating an ailing family, or battling sickness myself, I realize something wonderful. When I can barely walk in my physical state, I can run to the Savior in my heart. He is my refuge…He is my peace.

From Generation to Generation

2009-02-16T06:00:00.003-05:00

This past Sunday Marty Machowski preached a message in our Family Life series entitled “Growing Families Toward the Future. Marty preached from Exodus 10, the plague of locusts. If you’re interested in finding out how this text relates to raising our families, check out his message here.

In his message, Marty appealed that God has called us to affect generations to come by sharing with our children the great story of redemption through Christ. He said,

“When we tell them the story we connect them to a God who saw them before they were ever born. We connect them to a God who wrote the most magnificent story with them in mind. The Story begins way before the first plague. It begins just after the fall when God, looking down through the corridor of history tells Eve, I will raise up one of your children to crush the head of the serpent. And it carries through this Exodus account to the last plague where we see the sacrifice of Christ is foreshadowed in the blood of the lamb on the doorposts. So you see, the story we tell, the story God intended be passed on to the generations is more than locusts, it’s the story of the Gospel.”

He illustrated the power and purpose of God in using older generations to impact future generations through a letter written from his wife Lois’ grandfather to her when she was a teen. Here is the excerpt of the letter Marty read.

Dear Lois,

Peace be unto you.

This is your grandpa, an old man 94 years old. Time to go home, but I have 13 grandchildren and the question comes to me: How many of them will follow in my trail? How many will I meet at the judgment seat where we all will meet some day? To how many will I hear Him say: “Come ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. My prayer is: Lord please bring all my children and grandchildren with me into glory. I would like to meet them all there.

Today, everyone whom that grandfather had on his heart is serving the Lord.

Families Growing Alongside the Culture

2009-02-13T06:00:00.000-05:00

Based on comments from this past Sunday, here are some excerpts from my message from Proverbs 1:8-19 this past Sunday that people have said were helpful. You can hear the entire message here

The Bible assumes that God’s people will engage in the culture around them. We can’t avoid it. In fact, Jesus Christ himself sends us into the culture with a mission to be his light and witnesses to the transforming power of the Gospel. And it’s not as though all culture is off limits. There is a wonderful freedom in Christ for us to enjoy many aspects of culture as a gift from God. But the Bible recognizes that this capacity of the culture to give us enjoyment is very seductive. And it is that seductive power of the world that is its greatest danger. Nothing will shipwreck the faith of a believer more than the seductive power of the world around us. Nothing will undermine the spiritual culture of a family more than the ungodly culture of the world around us. It entices, then it entraps, then it destroys.

There is an old saying that the Christian should live in the world, but not of it. And this isn’t just call for families. EVERY CHRISTIAN regardless of age or marital status must wrestle with the question of how to interact with the culture in a God-glorifying way. This is probably a greater challenge for us, right here in this room, than it has been for any Christian at any other time in history. In spite of the current economic problems, we live in the most prosperous nation in history. But even beyond that, culture isn’t ‘out there’. The world has amazing access into our lives. In our day the world comes to us in cool boxes of all kinds of shapes, sizes and colors. Cell phones, Mp3 players, computers, televisions – Boxes O’ Culture. (Universal remotes- what a concept, a box to open all my other boxes!) What are our cars but big ‘Boxes O’ Culture? Even credit cards are just little tiny flat boxes that allow us to buy culture whenever we want it. Culture isn’t out there for us to bump into when we’re not looking. It is streaming into our lives faster than we can process it. It changes us in profound ways, and we don’t even realize we’re being changed.

But it is grace that motivates us to teach our children to resist the world by desiring Christ more, and it is grace that will make them lights and witnesses to rescue others. Yes it is hard work. Grace doesn’t make parenting easy; grace makes parenting matter! Listen to Thomas Watson’s vision for the impact of the Gospel in a family.

“A godly man should not only honor God while he lives, but do something that may promote God’s glory when he is dead. If our children are seasoned with gracious principles, they will stand up in our place when we have gone, and will glorify God in their generation.”

In closing, I want to address some parents here. You may be here today and you think you’ve lost it to the culture, that you wish you had kept your children from the enticement of the culture and now they have wandered down the wrong path. Or maybe you feel like, despite your best efforts, culture has invaded your family and taken over. It is never too late to stand in the Wisdom of Christ and display it to your children. It is never too late to fear the Lord. The promise here is not of a crown of perfection, or a crown of character, or a crown of morality. It is a crown of grace.

Beginning Today you can begin to embrace the ways of God in your family – by grace.
Beginning Today you can begin resisting the enticing entrapment of the culture in your family – by grace. Beginning Today you can begin to overcome the world in your family – by grace.

Media and My Heart

2009-02-12T06:00:00.000-05:00

In the book we’re featuring this week, Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World (you can order it at a special sale price at ginormous sale ), Pastor Craig Cabaniss offers some great questions for people of all ages in how they relate to media.

Heart Questions

Why do I want to watch this program or film? What do I find entertaining about it?
Am I seeking to escape from something I should be facing by watching this? Am I seeking comfort or relief that can be found only in God?
What sinful temptations will this program or film present?
Do I secretly want to view something in it that’s sinful? Am I deceiving myself by saying “I’ll fast-forward through the bad parts”?
Similarly, am I telling myself, “I’ll just visit this web site once, and I won’t click on any other links I find there”?
Am I watching because I’m bored or lazy? If so, what does that reveal about my heart?
Am I watching simply because others are? Am I trying to be relevant or to fit in?
How have my online relationships impacted my face-to-face relationships? How has my online activity impacted my soul? For better or worse?
What motivates me to create and maintain a blog, MySpace, or Facebook presence? Am I attempting to impress others? Am I being prideful, slanderous, deceitful, or self-righteous?

Here is some additional perspective from Russell Moore on children and cell phones.

And from Al Mohler on social networking (Facebook, etc.) sites.

Life Beyond TV

2009-02-11T06:00:00.000-05:00

I recently received this testimony from Steve and Rachel Gonzales, who found themselves without TV and lived to tell about it. Here’s their story from Rachel.

Steve and I have been married almost 11 years and have two young daughters. Isabella is 6 and Sophia is 3. We moved here to PA in 2006 so Steve could pursue his dream of a PhD in chemistry--he's currently a full time grad student at UPenn. I stay at home and also home educate our girls. Grad students don't actually make very much money and we are not independently wealthy :)

We came from a lifestyle that was not extravagant by cultural standards, but one that was comfortable and, now thanks to hindsight, one that we realize was wasteful. Now we are in a situation where every dollar is important, very important. Last spring we were evaluating our expenses and realized our "bundled" service for TV, phone, cell phones, and internet did save money over individual pricing, but we still needed to cut back--we simply couldn't afford it all. Steve and I also realized that we were spending most of our alone couple time in front of the TV - it was a way for both of us to unwind after exhausting days. I had never thought of either of us as "addicted to TV" types--we have a few shows we liked to watch, but TV wasn't really a problem for us. I was never even worried about the content of what we watched--we typically stay away from the "concerning" programming, so again, TV wasn't really a problem for us. But we noticed that we weren’t talking as much. Steve's schedule as a student is more demanding, so our couple time has been reduced, but our TV time had actually increased - not good. The point is that while TV wasn't really a problem for us by today's cultural standards, we sensed that it had become a way for us to cope with the stress of our new life here in PA. It was not a need and had become a luxury we could no longer afford. To be honest, when we made the decision to disconnect our TV service, it wasn't even a spiritual one--it was mostly one of economics. But to God, all things are spiritual.

We disconnected our TV service last April. I missed my home decorating shows, we both missed our forensic shows, and the girls missed their TV-in-the-morning routine. The girls fought much more (for weeks) and I began to think we had really made a mistake, a big mistake. Then some interesting things began to happen. Steve began reading more than his science papers and journals that he had to read--he began reading books about God--and he shared with me what God was teaching him. I began reading some of his recommendations and was inspired too. I also began reading classic literature that had been on my list for years, but I hadn't been able to fit in because of caring for my family, home schooling, and all that TV I had to watch had kept me pretty busy ;). Steve and I were really enjoying each other's company again--talking, discussing, sharing. At about week 4 our girls suddenly quit arguing and quarreling (okay, not completely, but a significant reduction). They began playing more and more and I watched their already active imaginations go to a new level. Steve got out his guitars and began playing again (a lifelong hobby of his that had almost been non-existent since he began school). And not only was he playing again, he was learning more Christian music--beautiful. Our home is generally more presentable (not this week actually, but usually :) because I have more time to care for it. And some of our around-the-house-projects are seeing progress. I've also had time to get back to some of my hobbies.

But the biggest change was that we started going to bed earlier and I was sleeping better. I have always considered myself more of a night owl--I've never been a fan of getting up early. But slowly as my body adjusted to going to bed earlier, it has also adjusted to getting up earlier. Now that I've been without TV for this long, I think I may be one of those people who are affected by the blue light emitted by TVs that can make it hard for some to fall asleep - it was regular for me to toss and turn for 1+ hours before I could fall asleep when I was ending my night by watching TV. Now I rarely have a hard time falling asleep and I'm going to bed earlier than I have most of my adult life. Steve is also enjoying more and better sleep. We have enjoyed so many benefits because I am more rested - I'm more patient, for example - definitely a good thing because I can be downright crabby when I'm tired. I have more energy not just to make it through the day, but to do more during the day.

But it's the getting up earlier part that is the best. I have time to sit with a nice cup of coffee that I'm enjoying instead of must-have-so-I-can-function and reading my Bible before our girls get up. And recently God has me journaling too - and I am blessed. Now I embrace the day instead of bracing for the day--God is so good!

There are a couple shows Steve and I do still like to watch, so we use the internet or iTunes. It's nice because we watch on our schedule and with few commercials. We do still let the girls watch some videos as well. There have been times when we wished we had TV service - every now and then we still want to vegge out, but even that desire is less and less. It would have been nice to be able to watch the Olympics and the Super Bowl and a few other special programs, but the internet made even these events available.

Who knew how much God had in store for us all because we could no longer afford TV service--we are so thankful! I think TV has become so much a part of our culture that it is hard for people to even imagine giving it up. When I called to cancel, the gentleman helping me couldn't comprehend that we weren't going to have any TV. Steve likes to describe it as "one of the best things we've ever done.” And we both praise God for being unable to afford TV service!

Buyer Beware! …

2009-02-10T06:00:00.000-05:00

(Editor’s note: Ramona submitted this blog last spring, but it coming off of a message on the family in the culture it seemed apropos. And, hopefully, spring is coming soon!)

The weather has changed—its warm—and so comes the yearly ritual of the ‘changing of the clothing.’ As usual, I am amazed at how quickly my children have grown. The summer clothing I diligently packed away in the fall seems to have shrunk in the bins that housed them during the colder months. And so off to the local department stores to fill in the gaps in my kids’ summer wardrobes.

I just returned from such a trip almost empty handed and with a sad heart. Though there were more than enough clothing options available—even at a reasonable cost—I was unwilling to buy into the ‘cultural norm’ and trade some very important principles we have used to make clothing selections for our children. In the stores I visited, the styles available for my eight year old daughter were predominately immodest and geared toward a trendy, teen pop culture that doesn’t embrace the biblical standards of modesty, humility, and appropriateness that Paul refers to in 1 Timothy 2:9 where he urges, “that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.”

Obviously, my eight year old daughter is NOT a woman. In fact, in spite of what the fashion industry would like her to believe, she’s not a teen yet either. But there is direct application to her life, none the less. My example of dress, how I relate to her on the topic of dress, what I purchase for her wear, and what I allow her to wear now, in her elementary years, will ultimately tutor her heart either toward godly virtues of purity, modesty and self-control, or tutor her heart toward worldly values of sinful comparison, worldly acceptance, and gaining attention through her appearance.

Buyer beware! That cute little mid-drift top with spaghetti ties at the shoulder may deliver more than you bargained for as your daughter becomes progressively desensitized to our culture and its sensual trappings.

C.J. Mahaney has done some outstanding teaching in this area, and has written a chapter on modesty in "Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World" (you can order it at a special sale price at the ginormous sale ). It’s called “God, My Heart, and Clothes.” It’s wisdom for women of any age.

Also, please take some time to look over the Modesty Check List which will help you not only care for your daughters, but sharpen your convictions for yourself as well.

Every Square Inch is Mine!

2009-02-09T06:00:00.000-05:00

In our Sunday message yesterday we discussed how families can grow strong along side the culture. We learned that the enticement of the world is a very real and spiritually dangerous thing. But we live and work and play and relate in a world we can’t leave. How do we bring faith into this daily battle with the world? In the book "Worldliness – Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World", Jeff Purswell gives us a God-glorifying perspective in his chapter, “How to Love the World.” Jeff writes,

“A biblical worldview sees every moment of life lived under the sovereign grace of God and the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. Scripture’s story is emphatic: God’s rule extends to all of creation and therefore all of our lives. As Abraham Kuyper famously put it, ‘There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over ALL, does not cry, 'Mine!’

"Therefore every second of life is significant… A biblical worldview gives us new eyes to see all of life: every sphere is charged with potential, every activity providing an opportunity to serve God, and bring glory to God. Because God is sovereign over all things, and Christ is redeeming all things, all things matter to God.”

We can be in the world, but not of it; enjoy its blessings without being trapped by its snares; and engage it with the redemptive hope of the Gospel. We don’t need the world, but the world certainly needs us.

"Worldliness" is an outstanding and very readable book for understanding how to interact with the culture and be faithful to Christ. This month Sovereign Grace Ministries is having a ginormous sale on this book (and other great resources) that will allow you to interact with a strategic resource in very challenging times.

Families Growing with One Another Part II

2009-02-06T06:00:00.000-05:00

From Andy: In his message this past Sunday Rob did a wonderful job helping us see the Gospel joy behind the marriage and family job descriptions in Ephesians 5 and 6. I've asked him to excerpt some of his thoughts from the message on marriage for Wedded Wednesday and on parents and children on Family Friday. You can download the entire message here.

This gospel understanding of Ephesians 5 completely changes how we read the text. So, in light of this wonderful truth, that true family unity can only be achieved through our unbreakable union with Christ, let’s read through this passage again.

CHAPTER 6:1
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

In light of the gospel, it is as though Christ is saying:

“Children, I have obeyed the will of my Father in heaven. If you have trusted in me, I have covered your sin and your disobedience. You have received the benefits of my obedience. Now, I have placed over you parents for your good. As I have honored my Father, so you should honor your mother and father. To not fight against the very thing I’ve given as a gift. Obey…honor…enjoy the blessings that I have for you. Not just because it is the right thing to do, but because I have designed it with promises for your good.”

VERSE 4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Through the motivation of Ephesians 2, Christ makes this appeal:

“Parents, I have won you to my Father with love and kindness. I have not poured my anger out upon you, but have shown you endless patience. Your anger for your children will only provoke them…it will not win them. Turn them to me…entrust them to me…bring them up in me. Raise them, parents, in light of the gospel that won you to me and now trains you in me.”

You see, Ephesians 2 converts Ephesians 5 from an instruction manual to a worship event. It is not a list of job descriptions. It is everyday application of the gospel to the small and seemingly insignificant moments of our lives. Without Ephesians 2, Ephesians 5 is a burden. With it, it is an invitation to walk moment by moment, in the context of our closest relationships, with the one who died for us.

Parents, v4, you are to be intentionally merciful. Your example for parenting your children is God the Father. As Ps103 says, He is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He does not deal with us according to our sins. You are to bring up your children in the instruction of the Lord…but also in the character and love of the Lord. Use more questions than statements. Lead them to discover truth. Relate to them as though YOU are a sinner in need of a savior.

Teens and children, Chapter 6:1, you are to obey. Not just because your parents have your best interests in mind most of the time. But because your obedience to your parents is a direct reflection of your obedience to God. Next, v2, you are to honor. This means when they are around and when they are not. It means in how you speak to them and how you speak about them. It means with words and with facial expressions. It means with your outward appearance and with the posture of your heart.

Slingshot Disciple

2009-02-05T06:00:00.001-05:00

Here’s a little quiz on discipleship.

First, read through the statements below about what it means to be a disciple.

A disciple doesn't go and learn something and then perform it. A disciple develops godliness through application in real life over time.
A disciple doesn’t bother to compare himself with others. Who he is and what he does in light of what he should be and do is enough of a concern for him.
A disciple is willing to have others observe his life
A disciple doesn't mind being considered odd by others.

Second, watch the short video which you can access from this link (courtesy of Stephen Altrogge at The Blazing Center): Incredible Slingshot Man

Third, think about this: If I could learn one thing about being a disciple from the Slingshot Man, what would it be? (Hint – the statements above are a good place to start)

Families Growing with One Another Part I

2009-02-04T06:00:00.000-05:00

From Andy: In his message this past Sunday Rob did a wonderful job helping us see the Gospel joy behind the marriage and family job descriptions in Ephesians 5 and 6. I've asked him to excerpt some of his thoughts from the message on marriage for Wedded Wednesday and on parents and children on Family Friday. You can download the entire message here.

This gospel understanding of Ephesians 5 completely changes how we read the text. So, in light of this wonderful truth, that true family unity can only be achieved through our unbreakable union with Christ, let’s read through this passage again.

VERSE 22
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Seen in light of the gospel, it is as though Christ is saying:

“Wives, I have freed you from striving for position. I have declared my equal love for men and women, for young and old, for Jew and Gentile. I have called you to me. And I have set in place an order for the home. This is a good and holy calling for you. Don’t strive…submit, in light of the gospel. I’m not putting constraints in your way…but freedom.”

VERSE 25
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

Men, do you hear the voice of Christ behind these words:

“Husbands, I have lavished my love on you and poured out my blood to wash you…to make you white as snow. I have poured out my life to present you to my Father without blemish. In light of the glorious gospel that has been given to you…love your wives. Seek what is best for her…seek to serve her. I have expressed my lordship over you with compassion, patience and love. This is how you ought to love your wife…this is how I have loved you.”

You see, Ephesians 2 converts Ephesians 5 from an instruction manual to a worship event. It is not a list of job descriptions. It is everyday application of the gospel to the small and seemingly insignificant moments of our lives. Without Ephesians 2, Ephesians 5 is a burden. With it, it is an invitation to walk moment by moment, in the context of our closest relationships, with the one who died for us.

So, men, in light of Christ’s work on your behalf, God makes a claim on your life in this text. First, v23, you are to lead. You are to lead with a willingness to lay down your life for your wife. Her good is your concern. Next, v25, you are to love. The responsibility and leadership God has given you for her is a joy to carry. Loving her should be as fulfilling to your heart and soul as loving yourself is.

Pursue her interests. Initiate conversations on spiritual matters. Pray for her…with her.
Reorder your calendar to reflect her as a priority. Break passive patterns in the evenings and plan times for talk, for fun, for romance.

Ladies, in light of Christ’s work on your behalf, God makes a claim on your life in this text. First, v22, you are to submit. Following your husband’s leadership is following in the tracks laid out for you by the Savior. God has crafted you for your husband…serving and complementing him is the role of a helpmate. Next, vv25-31, receive your husband’s leadership and love. If God is calling him to these things, then he desires for you to receive them. Make leading and loving you a joy.

Seek to find ways to strengthen him in areas of weakness…to commend him in areas of strength. Ask for his leadership…for his input. Find ways to surprise him with blessing.

Sermons in a Mirror

2009-02-03T06:00:00.000-05:00

I find it fascinating that so many parents, including myself, discipline their children in the bathroom.

It certainly doesn’t seem like a logical choice—first of all you have to sit on the one available seat, presumably not the most attractive or clean one in the house. Second, bathrooms are often tiny rooms, and I have emerged from many a loving discipline session feeling like I’ve been locked in a small closet with a wolverine. Thirdly, it is the most frequently visited room in the house. You can bank on the fact that as soon as you enter the bathroom with your suspect, someone will be pounding on the door while jumping up and down in obvious discomfort. And you happen to be sitting on their source of relief.

And yet there is some irony in the choice. Because bathrooms have mirrors. They have other things in them as well—recent finds in my own powder room include a hand-made bow and arrow, toddler-size undies (that’s always scary), and a Lego warship. But there is always a mirror. And I find the mirror an unnerving fixture when I’m disciplining my kids. The bathroom mirror is a tool God uses to make sure the sermons I’m preaching to my kids are getting preached back to me as well.

You see, after disciplining a child, I talk with them about what happened and about their sin and God’s mercy. We’ve been well taught. But any parent knows that these words of wisdom are not always received with rapt attention and deep conviction. Yet no matter what behavior the guilty party is exhibiting, one person’s eyes are always watching me—my own. The mirror becomes my teacher in those moments. It has corrected me, encouraged me, and convicted me.

“Honey, it seems like in a lot of these situations you’re only thinking about what would serve you. It doesn’t seem like you’re thinking of others or what would bless them.” (The eyes in the mirror are watching.)

“Are we allowed to complain and become angry when we don’t get exactly what we want? Is getting what we want the goal in life?” (The ears in the mirror are listening.)

The mirror has diagnosed me perfectly. How can I tell my children something that I still struggle with so much, calling them to a high standard when my own example is unsteady? Are these sessions just a cycle of failures and lectures? Should I go on?

But the voice in the mirror keeps talking…

“Love, you could never pay for these sins or earn God’s favor. But God has done what we never could. He’s made a rescue...”

As the redemptive truths continue, I’m reminded that God doesn’t give up on his children. His mercy comes to us not just in times of obedience, but in times of failure—and failure again. My kids and I all need a Father who is patient and loving to us. I’m so glad I have a bathroom mirror to remind me.

Financial Counsel Worth Taking

2009-02-02T06:00:00.000-05:00

Winter for me is a time of financial reckoning. I get the final tally on what we spent on Christmas – which is always more than we planned. In early January I print my final budget report for the year where I learn afresh how my ‘shoulds’ line up with my ‘dids’. And then I set my new budget ‘shoulds’ in place for the coming year. I start pulling my tax stuff together. And I get that year end statement that tells me how my retirement accounts did.

Ouch. The last one hurts this year. If there’s any truth to the fact that misery loves company, then maybe we all are loving that ‘where did it all go’ feeling. Most of the financial advice out there seems to call us to not panic. Prudent investing looks at things in the long term.

Perhaps at this time of new budgets and economic uncertainty it’s helpful to remind ourselves that the long term for Christians goes well beyond this current economic problems. One of my favorite insights from Randy Alcorn is so helpful as I begin to look at my financial picture for the upcoming year.

Let me assume the role of “eternal financial counselor” and offer this advice: choose your investments carefully; compare their rates of interest; consider their ultimate trustworthiness; and especially compare how they will be working for you a few million years from now. (Randy Alcorn from "Money, Possessions and Eternity" p.134)

Faith and Mercy

2009-01-30T06:00:00.001-05:00

Editor’s Note: On January 24th, Brian Vander Weide preached a message called Pay Attention to What You Hear from Mark 4:21-25. The following post is a summary of The Extra Point that followed…a time designed specifically for parents to help their teens process the preached Word. The audio for both the message and the extra point can be found at here.

We love our children. We would do anything for them. And we want the best for them.

We love God. We would do anything for Him. And we want so desperately for our children to know our God.

As good as this desire is, an overemphasis on this can lead to some real parenting challenges. Here are two worth considering.

Faith

Our love for both our God and our children can drive us to press for certainty that they truly know Him. We long to see fruit in their lives. We want them to pursue us for godly wisdom.

Yet, try as we might, we cannot make them see God. We cannot make them hear. We cannot make them pay attention and take action. Though we would love to, we can’t give them our faith…we can’t give them our sanctification. Those things are really between them and God.

God calls us to a place of faith. His love for our children exceeds ours. His commitment to our children exceeds ours. If He is the changer of lives and the saver of souls, then our trust must be in Him doing it…not us.

Are we still to parent? …to exhort? …to correct? Of course we are…we must. But we are to leave the results to God. We are to be faithful in our duties, in our prayers, in our love and commitment, but we are not to end up in a place of fear…but of faith.

An absence of faith will often drive us to interfere with God’s work in their lives. The must experience His conviction…not ours. Many walls have been built by well-intended parents who have overstepped their boundaries…into God’s jurisdiction. We want to be encouraging open conversation about spiritual matters. When we press in the absence of faith, we often shut down lines of communication.

That leads to the other challenge worth considering…

Mercy

Imagine a runner who is running as hard as he can. He is not the fastest nor the most fit, but he runs hard. Behind him is a coach on a bike, telling him to run harder, take longer strides, press more. The initial effect might pick up the pace, but after the continued yelling and criticizing, the runner will slow down…or stop running altogether. The coach has broken his will to run.

Without mercy guiding our parenting, we can fall into the same trap as this coach. We can define our role in their lives as yelling motivation into them. “Why aren’t you paying more attention?” “Why don’t you ever follow through on what we tell you?” But the goal is not to be the “fastest” runner, but to run as fast as we can.

It’s important to remember that our children are in process. Their walk may be sporadic…inconsistent. It may depend on the issue…or the day.

We shouldn’t excuse their sin…but we should understand it. God understands ours…and extends mercy upon mercy toward us. We now can extend that mercy to them.

We are parenting children in process. We can parent them from behind for times when they fall. We can parent them from in front by living and example for them to follow. We can parent them from the side as we show compassion as a fellow sinner. Our parenting ought to be a surrounding parenting…not a smothering one.

God will meet us with the faith and mercy that we need to give. He will meet our children who are in process. He will…he will…he will.

The Other Side of The Field

2009-01-29T06:00:00.000-05:00

Lori Snyder sent me the article below this week. It was taken from the Truth Project web site at Focus on the Family. You can look at the original ESPN article as well

As we endure the bloated hype of another Superbowl week, hoping the game isn’t overwhelmed in the process, here’s a reminder of what can at the other end of the field.

High school football is big in America. But I suppose there is no place where it is bigger than in Texas. Friday nights there are legend.

The fans scream; the stands are packed; cheerleaders with pom-poms jump and sway to the beat of the school band; parents yell encouragement (mostly); mom's turn their eyes away when their little boys are crunched by the "bullies on the other team who didn't really have to hit him that hard, did he?" and everybody joins in the chants and stomps their feet on the metal stands until you are sure they will collapse.

This is the frenzy of Texas high school football.

However, there is a football team in Texas that is a little different. When they play on Friday night, their stands are pretty much empty, no band, no cheerleaders, no mass of parents or townsfolk wearing the school colors and waving banners and flags. They take the field without anyone cheering them on. When they get a first down, there is no deafening surge from the stands. When they score a touchdown, which rarely happens, there is no wild celebration behind them…only the individual shouts of satisfaction that come from the 14 players and their coach and the 20 or so people that are sitting on their side of the field. All of it seems hollow and muffled in contrast to the tidal wave of roars and drums and chants that come from the opposing side.

They are the Tornadoes of the Gainesville State School, a fenced, maximum-security facility of the Texas Youth Commission. The young men who go to Gainesville State are there because they have made some major mistakes in their lives. But the players who are on the team are there because they have worked hard and have disciplined themselves to meet the "criteria" that gives them the privilege to leave the facility and play football on Friday nights—always an away game for them—always a home game for their opponents—and almost always a loss. They don't have a weight program or training equipment or high-paid coaches and assistants. They don't have a large pool of players to draw from. The school has 275 boys, but many are too old or too young or can't or don't meet the "criteria" to play. And they don't have the support of a town and a mass of parents and family and reporters and bands and cheerleaders.

That is, until November 7th. Something changed. They played Grapevine Faith Christian School.

The way the Gainesville coach, Mark Williams, recounted it for me, it went something like this: Earlier in the week, he had received a call from Faith Christian coach, Kris Hogan, asking him if it would be okay if Faith formed a "spirit" line for his team when they ran on the field. Mark said, "Sure, that would be a real encouragement to the kids." He thought that the line would consist of a couple of the JV cheerleaders, but when they took the field, there were a hundred people in it and it stretched to the 40-yard line, filled with Faith parents, fans and varsity cheerleaders, complete with a banner at the end for them to burst through that read "Go Tornadoes!". And then, those parents and fans sat in the stands behind the Gainesville players and when the Tornadoes broke the huddle and went up to the line they could hear people cheering for them, by name. When they got a first down, "their" fans erupted.

You see, coach Hogan had sent an email out to the Faith Christian family asking them to consider doing something kind for these young men, many who didn't know what it meant to have a mom and dad who cared, many who felt the world was against them, not for them. Hogan asked that they simply send a message that these boys were "just as valuable as any other person on earth."

So half of the Faith Christian fans were now sitting on the visitor's side of the field, cheering for the Gainesville team, and in some cases, against their own sons.
–Cheering for a team decked out in old uniforms and helmets.
–Cheering for boys who wouldn't go home that night and have a smiling dad slap him on the back and feel his mom put her arms around him and say "I'm so proud of you son!"
–Cheering for the underdog.

Though the score was familiar (down 33-0 at half-time), this was a Friday night like no other for the Tornadoes. In the locker room, the players were confused.
"Why are they cheerin' for us, coach?"
"Because, men, they want to encourage you. They want you to know that they care about you…that you have value."
Coach Williams said the boys were stunned. For many of these kids, it may have been the first time that anyone had shown them, so visibly, unconditional love.

Williams then encouraged them to set a goal for the second half: to score a touchdown. And when they took the field again, with their fans cheering them on, they did. Williams said, "Everything started to click in the second half. Our passes started to click. Our sweeps and counters started to click." And they did score. Two touchdowns.

And the fans went wild.

I asked Coach Williams what the bus ride was like on the way home and he laughed and told me that they were all asleep—their bellies were full. After the game, the parents brought a whole bunch of food over to the guys: hamburgers, fries, candy, sodas…and included in the meal sack was a Bible and a letter of encouragement from a Faith Christian player. But then, he said, they formed a line for us out to the bus. And the parents patted them on the back and said, "Nice game" and "Look forward to seeing you guys next time."

The phone went dead at this point. I think Coach Williams was choking back some tears. And so was I.

I asked him one final question: "If you could tell other people one thing about your kids, what would it be?" He said, "Don't be scared of them. Treat them with respect. Yes, they've made some mistakes, but they are trying their best to turn their life around. Give 'em a shot at it."
As they left the field that night, Coach Williams grabbed Coach Hogan and said to him: "You'll never know what your people did for these kids tonight. You'll never, ever know."

When the world looks at a Christian, the number one thing they should see is what was shown on a high school football field last fall in Texas.

Jesus said: "Let your light shine among men is such a way that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven."

Let us do so.

Thanks to Coach Hogan for caring and sending that email.
Thanks to Coach Williams for his dedication and love for his guys.

When You Rise Up / When You Lie Down

2009-01-28T06:00:00.000-05:00

Normally, when we hear the phrases “When you rise up” and “When you lie down,” visions of Deuteronomy 6 go through our heads. If they’re familiar to you, you think of parenting. If they’re not familiar to you, nothing may go through your head. Taking a different perspective, let’s look at them through the lens of marriage.

What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? I mean before the shower, the breakfast, and the coffee. (Yes, something positive can actually happen before the coffee.) What’s the last thing you do before falling asleep? Here’s a very practical suggestion that can maximize two brief moments that repeat every day.

Even before getting out of bed, consider praying for each other. Men, pray for the day your wife is about to face. If you are familiar with her schedule or plans, pray specifically. If she’s teaching the children, pray for her patience and understanding. If she’s going to work outside the home, pray for her protection…for a project she’s working on…for God-centered thoughts throughout the day.

Ladies, pray for the day your husband is about to face. For meetings or appointments you know he’s going to have. Pray for safety, for Godward thoughts, for courage to share his faith.

All of this can take about 2 minutes. A simple whispered prayer, audibly spoken, not only encourages your spouse, but lays faith-filled petitions before the throne of God. Because this may be a new idea…praying before you even feel awake…let me suggest a couple of things.

- Keep it short: Long winded prayers as you wake up or lie down often initiate instant sleep for your spouse. Keep it short so they can participate.

- Be specific: You can only know if your prayers are answered if they’re specific. Pray for specific blessings and outcomes…and remember to ask how things turned out.

- Be wind conscious: If you’re truly praying first thing…before anything else…then you have not yet brushed your teeth. So, be thoughtful about the direction of your whispers. Remember, you want your prayerful words to bless your spouse.

And do the same as you lie down. After you turn out the lights, take a couple seconds to thank God for the day and for any answered prayers from that morning. If situations have developed in the home that day, pray for them…whether they are marital, parental or professional. Again…keep it short and be specific. Trusting that you’ve brushed your teeth before going to bed, be released from being wind conscious.

As you pray “When You Rise Up” and “When You Lie Down,” you may find that the very brief times of marital prayer lead to more extended times elsewhere in your day. Making prayer a part of your marriage is not hard…but it can make a real difference…for time and for eternity.

Living in Contentment Land

2009-01-27T06:00:00.000-05:00

“How can they afford to finish their basement or add an addition to their house?” “Why is that family always able to take elaborate vacations while ours consists of sleeping on the floor of a tent?” “My ‘poor’ kids have to buy their own underwear and pay for their own college.” If I don’t guard my heart, I can easily find myself living in discontentment land rather than being satisfied within the boundaries of the pleasant place God has for me.

Contentment is something that I’ve struggled with on and off my entire life. Even in times of prosperity, I can be tempted to compare what I have with others or think that I need something that I don’t. And, it can be especially hard to be content when money is tight when surrounded by others who seem to have unlimited resources. But by the grace of God, I can thank Him for those struggles because He has used them to reveal to me that only God can satisfy my deepest longings and that my true, lasting joy is in Him.

When I’m tempted to be discontent, I try to take control of my thoughts in the following 3 ways:

1. By Being Thankful: Discontentment cannot exist with thankfulness. As soon as my mind begins to think about what others have that I don’t or what I wish that I could purchase, I have to begin recounting God’s goodness to me. As I start mentally listing all that I have to be thankful for, it doesn’t take long until my heart is filled with thankfulness rather than discontentment. Colossians 2:6 - 7

2. By Resting in God’s Sovereignty: The second thing that I’ve learned to do is to rest in God’s perfect provision for our family. I believe that God perfectly portions our income for what he wants to accomplish in our family. There is no way that I can estimate what God is doing in the hearts of my children through the financial “hardships” that they may feel. I don’t need to feel bad for them; I can instead trust God that He’s at work. Proverbs 3:5

3. By Focusing on Eternity: Earth is not my home. Everything that I have or will have will be rubbish. I want to live my life in such a way as to lay up treasures in heaven not on earth. When I can fix my eyes on glory, the things of this earth pale in comparison. Matthew 6:19 - 21

I have a long way to go in conquering the sin of discontentment. There will always be someone who has more or better things to “make” me discontent. I will never have enough stuff, because stuff will never satisfy. I have found, however, by redirecting my gaze, my heart can overflow with joy in all circumstances.

“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” Hebrews 13:5

A Prayer for Our Nation

2009-01-26T06:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Doug Hayes, one of our pastors and the Executive Director of Covenant Mercies, took some time in our morning worship to pray for our nation on Sanctity of Life Sunday. It captures with clarity and grace the heart of our church during a time of extraordinary events in our country. The following is the text of Doug’s prayer.

Heavenly Father, as we come to you on this Sunday when we acknowledge, in a special way, the Sanctity of Human Life, we remember that you – the Creator and sustainer of all life – have revealed yourself as a God of grace and a God of justice.

You are merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love
But you are also a God who refuses to take a position of neutrality when it comes to matters of justice.
You have revealed yourself as One who stands with the oppressed and against the oppressor.
And Lord, we rejoice at the ways in which we’ve seen your justice take hold, to a greater degree, in our society.
This week – as we honored Martin Luther King on one day and inaugurated our first black President on the next – we were powerfully reminded of how far you have brought us as a society on issues of racial justice.
When our President was born, not so long ago, a battle was raging in this land to determine whether he should be allowed to sit in a classroom with his white contemporaries.
Today, he sits behind a desk called Resolute, in the Oval Office.
Indeed, you have shed your grace upon this nation.
We pray for President Obama, his administration, and his family. Protect his life. Give him wisdom. Bring him wise counselors, and give him the discernment to sift the wise from the foolish.
We know that the king’s heart is in the hands of the Lord, and you direct it as a watercourse. Direct our President’s heart toward righteousness, and cause him to lead our nation in that way.
As we pray for him, and as we thank you for what his presidency represents, our faith is emboldened to pray for justice on behalf of the unborn.
You have changed the hearts and minds of this nation with regard to racial equity and racial justice.
We pray today that you would open our eyes, change our hearts, and give us the courage to apply the same to the unborn.
We must confess to you, Lord, that our laws and our practices in this area are unjust.
But just as Martin Luther King refused to believe that the bank of justice was bankrupt for America’s citizens of color, we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt for the unborn.
We refuse to believe this

- not because America is a great nation,
- not because we see morality gaining ground in our culture everyday,
- not because we believe in the inherent goodness of the American people
- not because we believe in our own capacity to come together and effect a historic change.

We refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt for the unborn because you are a God of justice.
You have revealed yourself as Father to the fatherless and a defender of widows.
And though this world will always be filled with injustice, you have promised to work righteousness and justice on behalf of all who are oppressed.
Do this on behalf of the unborn, we pray!
Even as we pray for justice to prevail, we repent before you for the sin of 50 million abortions.
These are staggering numbers; 50 million people, created in the image and likeness of God.
As a nation, we have defied your rule and made an idol of our own self-determination.
As your people, too often we have remained silent. Too often we’ve looked the other way as if this wasn’t happening all around us.
Too often when we have spoken, we’ve spoken words of self-righteous indignation rather than words seasoned with your grace.
Would you teach us to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly as it relates to this issue?
And Lord, how we thank you that there is forgiveness for the sin of abortion
We thank you that any in this room who have participated in abortion are forgiven of this sin and bear it no more if they’ve placed their faith in our merciful Savior.
Thank you that though you are a God of justice, you have poured out justice on your Son so that we can receive mercy.
You have been merciful to a rebellious and sinful people.
You have opened our eyes to historic injustices.
We ask you to open our eyes to the injustices of today, and have mercy on us as a people.

Amen

Overcoming our Forgetfulness

2009-01-23T06:00:00.000-05:00

Editor’s Note: This post is a reflection upon the message Mark Prater preached on Sunday, January 11th. The message can be found by clicking here

So many of the posts on Family Friday are written for one of two purposes. First, to encourage parents in the challenge of parenting. Second, to teach or help parents do their job more effectively.

Sometimes though, as parents, we have to protect ourselves from our successes. Many parents in our church have wonderful families. We have children that are generally obedient, majorly respectful and a joy to have in our home. We have sought to parent them to the best of our ability. We certainly have room to grow and areas in need of improvement, but we seek to apply what we’ve learned and teach them what they need to know.

In the light of such success stories, we can be prone to sit back and consider the behavior and condition of our children primarily as fruit of our parenting. Deuteronomy 6:5-9 says:

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

We read that and can be prone to thinking…even quietly… “well done.”

We would all do well to keep reading. Beginning in the very next verse, we are reminded that the blessings we receive are given from God. The fruit of our labors is from God. Then comes the strong caution in verse 12:

…take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

Here’s the truth of it…children who rebel are common. Obedient and respectful children are the exception. Why? Because people who rebel are common. Obedient and respectful people are an exception. And children are people.

So, how do we explain the preponderance of our successes? They are wells we did not dig…cities we did not build. They are direct gifts from the Lord, who will not allow his Word to return void.

Does God use our parenting to bring about these gifts? Yes, of course. Our intentional and prayerful parenting matters and is crucial…for our children and for us. However, we should never lose sight of who provides the growth…the blessing.

The very thing that could cause our forgetfulness also serves as the cure for our forgetfulness. When you catch your children obeying, or being respectful…when you hear from others that your children did something well…take care lest you forget the Lord. It is the Lord who provides the increase…and we as parents get front row seats.

Keep parenting…teaching your children diligently. But don’t forget the Lord. He is not just an ingredient necessary for good parenting. Through your faithfulness in parenting, He is the one providing the blessings.

Many Paths to Christ

2009-01-22T06:00:00.000-05:00

I’m sitting in a counseling observation class. What’s a counseling observation class? It is a small group of students (like me) who watch a counselor do a series of counseling sessions with an individual or couple through previously recorded video. The goal is to interact with the experience of the counseling relationship and process. There are a lot of differences between this kind of formal setting and what I do as a pastor. But I find it tremendously helpful to peer into the experience and skill of another counselor. Particularly when that counselor is Ed Welch.

In the midst of this counseling situation we are observing, Ed is seeking to determine what path to take in counseling in a very complicated situation. Among a number of issues he can choose from for focus, he selects one. That makes sense. Good counseling technique. It’s what he says about it that floors me.

We’re going to choose this as the path that will lead us to Christ.

First of all, I’m thinking – how is that going to lead anywhere near Jesus? Then I realize. ‘No, is there any struggle we can have that somehow can’t find its resolution in Christ?’. Is there any problem that falls outside of his ability to save? Is there any person so far from Christ that He can’t carve out a trail to rescue? No! Everything we face is just the starting point of a path that can lead to Christ.

What are you facing right now? Difficult circumstances? Relational struggles in your family? Health concerns? Career frustration? Discouragement in your fight against sin? Brothers, no matter how bad it is, because of Christ, nothing you face is a dead end. Perhaps the Holy Spirit is simply helping you see the path of his choosing that will lead you to Christ.

Judgment, Mercy, and Liberty

2009-01-21T06:00:00.001-05:00

Editor’s Note: Last week, many couples enjoyed the regional marriage conference Marriage and the Mercy of God. The serve as the impetus for this blog entry. You can find the outstanding messages for free download here.

For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment. (James 2:13)

Mercy, judgment, and liberty. These three words serve as unlikely allies in this portion of James. Let’s discuss them in the order that we often confront them and see just how God weaves these together for His glorious purposes in our marriage.

Before judgment comes, we must first receive or perceive an offense. And so, one comes. A husband fails to fix the curtains in the bedroom…a wife fails to launder the right pair of pants. Perhaps a harsh word is spoken, a mean action taken, or silence resides where there ought to be speaking. In any case, we get offended.

Our initial reaction is first with judgment. He doesn’t love me enough…she doesn’t think of me enough. His words always hurt…her actions always sting. Judgment leads to anger, which leads to bitterness, which almost certainly leads to retaliating with overt sin or passive withdrawal. Judgment has run its course, and the end of the road is not very appealing.

Reach back with me, then, to our initial reaction. What if, rather than judgment, we responded with mercy. As we do, let’s agree on what mercy is:

Mercy is the kind, sympathetic, and forgiving treatment of others that works to relieve their distress and to cancel their debt. - Paul Tripp

Okay, we’ve just been offended. A husband leaves clothes on the floor…a wife throws away papers she was asked to save. We have the “right” to be offended…the facts are on our side and the judgment, if passed, would fall to our favor. Yet, we respond with mercy. We apply the kind, sympathetic, and forgiving treatment that seeks to relieve distress and cancel debt.

We avoid making conclusions and we overlook…we move on…we don’t harbor our wounded pride. Mercy leads to forgiveness, which leads to peace, which almost certainly leads to liberty…and there we are. Though we began the path with the same step…the offense…we ended up somewhere very different. Rather than retaliation or withdrawal, we end up at liberty…a far more appealing destination.

Could this be what James was getting at? Could this be the reason that mercy triumphs over judgment? Yes it could…but something is missing.

Before we choose between mercy or judgment, we all must first begin with remembering. We must remember the mercy that was poured out on us and the judgment that was poured out on Christ. We must remember that, in God’s economy, there is no contradiction between mercy and judgment.

In fact, in order to rescue us from our sin, judgment and mercy had to be poured out. Our sin judged on the sinless Savior and His righteousness bestowed in mercy on us.

It’s no wonder James precedes v13 with v12:

So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty.

Or, as John put it in his first epistle:

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:11)

As we remember, mercy will triumph over judgment. We get to give away to our spouse what we have received from our Savior…mercy.

An Enlightened Spelling Lesson for this Teacher

2009-01-20T06:00:00.000-05:00

I was in the middle of a spelling lesson with Rosie when she came over to crawl up into my lap and snuggle. I would like to say that I pulled her up into my lap and showered her with loves, but instead I gave her a little lecture and said, “Now, if you were in school, would you be able to just climb into the teacher’s lap in between each spelling word?” She dutifully climbed down with a somber face and got ready for her next word, pencil poised.

My conscience took over quickly and by God’s grace, I recovered and said, “But we’re here and you can crawl into this teacher’s lap because I’m your mom!” Her face lit up and as she came near again, I scooped her into my arms and squeezed her tight, whispering little nothings in her ear – a little recess we both needed.

I didn’t think much more of the whole incident until the next day during my devotions. I read Galatians 4: 6, “And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba, Father!” As I scribbled in my journal some thoughts, I was overwhelmed with the Father’s love for me. It is true that with the Father –child relationship comes authority and truth (sometimes hard truths) and the call to obedience and even discipline. But oh the blessings which attend such a relationship--- the closeness, affection, and encouragement. And finally the commitment and love. He will never walk away but is steadfast towards me as He demonstrated once and for all on the Cross.

I am truly blessed. Despite the trouble which abounds in this sinful world and my own sinful heart, “my Abba, Father,” is Ruler over all of it. What could be a greater reality? It’s not just that He exists or even that He is some relative. He is my Father, personal and dear. That is truly good news and encouragement for this teacher who can never stop being a mom.

Standing at a Crossroads

2009-01-19T06:00:00.000-05:00

This week as a nation we stand at the crossroads. A new president will be inaugurated. That president, Barak Obama, will bring a democratic administration into power and usher out a Republican administration. But as we all know, there is a far more significant crossroads before us than a change in political parties. President Obama will be a man of color in the White House – representing the will of the people to govern in difficult times. These are truly remarkable times.

Mr. Obama’s path to the White House is a reflection of this crossroads. It is a coincidence of the calendar that he will take office the day after we celebrate Martin Luther King’s Birthday. Dr. King’s work in many ways led to this moment. It is a symbolic choice that the President elect chose to retrace the Illinois to Washington train route taken by Abraham Lincoln when he took office nearly a century and a half ago.

It would be a great gift to this country if Barak Obama could, in the months and years ahead, rise to the stature of these men he is linked with through coincidence and choice. Let’s pray that this is exactly what happens. And may the following reflections on the character of a leader be found in some measure embodied in our new president.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and conveniences, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. (Martin Luther King)

It often requires more courage to dare to do right than to fear to do wrong…. Nearly all men can stand adversity. But if you want to test a man's character - give him power. (Abraham Lincoln)

Prayer, The Weapon of Choice

2009-01-16T06:00:00.001-05:00

Editor’s Note: In light of the message Jared Mellinger preached on 1/4/09, we’re continuing an additional week on prayer in parenting.

Do you have a child who is struggling to overcome a pattern of sin in their lives? If you are a parent you probably answered “yes.” Whether you are trying to figure out a way to keep your daughter in bed after you lay her down at night or you are constantly reminding a teenage son about his disrespectful attitude, all families experience recurring patterns of sin in the lives of their children.

As a pastor, I get to hear a lot of stories: “My child just won’t do their school work, all they want to do is play computer games.” “All they do is fight.” “He lied to me again.” The list could go on. There is however an interesting phrase many parents share with me as they describe their dilemma. “We’ve tried everything,” they say with exhaustion then go on to recite a laundry list of things they’ve tried. “We’ve given the rod, we’ve taken away their privileges, we’ve tried written confessions, going to bed early, doubling their chores, and still nothing seems to be working.”

Often prayer is last on the list, “All we can do is pray,” or not on the list at all. My wife and I have been through the same challenges with our children. One of the things I’ve learned, though, is prayer is not the weapon of last resort. Prayer is the weapon of choice. Consider changing your strategy with your children to include prayer right from the start. Here are a few things to consider:

- Pray daily for your children and ask God to help them with their current struggles.

- Pray with your children, asking God to help them overcome their particular battle with sin. (And leading them to ask God themselves.)

- Examine your own heart in prayer. Sometimes the work God is doing has more to do with our growth and sanctification than our children’s.

- Expect God to pour out his grace for change on their lives and simply be faithful to discipline your child in love and then watch. (Check out Andy’s blog from last week for more on this point.)

- Never lose sight of the gospel when sin strikes. Every discipline session is an opportunity to take your children back to the gospel.

The greatest change we have seen in our children has not come from our work through discipline, but has come through God’s work of grace in their hearts. Don’t give up discipline or creative ways to lead your children in the midst of their sin, but take up prayer like a soldier takes up his rifle; he wouldn’t go into battle without it. As he walks cautiously on the battlefield it is the first thing to part the brush. It’s not hanging on his shoulder as a last resort, but leading his way through every trial.

A Hero From History

2009-01-15T06:00:00.000-05:00

It’s been awhile, maybe years, since I’ve read anything by my historical hero. Recently, I went back to rediscover what originally got me jazzed. Wow; this stuff is incredible. I’ve never read anyone so overwhelmed and dazzled by the God-man Christ Jesus. I get so familiar with the Lord, and easily lose my grasp of the glory of our Savior. It’s time to climb the mount of transfiguration again, and have the roof blown off my concept of God.

Nobody does that for me like Samuel Rutherford. He’s not exactly a household name. He was Scottish, born in a farm family in the 1600’s. He studied at Old St. Andrews and became a Presbyterian pastor. Rutherford was a significant participant in the Westminster Assembly. Interestingly, one of his published works which attacked the divine right of earthly kings and proclaimed God the only true sovereign became one of the significant underlying theories of modern democracy. He died being chased down by the English monarchy (no wonder) saying that he couldn’t appear before the royal prosecutor because he had a prior summons before the Holy Judge.

Not much is left of his pastoral writing and works except his letters. But what letters! Spurgeon valued them as much as anything outside the Bible. Rutherford was a pastor, but had been exiled from his congregation due to persecution. He wrote to his congregants from there. The thing that hit me for the first time the other day was to realize, wow, we still have these letters! The people he wrote to obviously felt that he had something eternally valuable to say. The letters survived long enough for someone to come along much later and collect them, so that they could be preserved in a single volume. Here is a sample from a letter I just read:

O, come all and drink at this living well; come, drink and live forevermore; come, drink and welcome; welcome says our fairest Bridegroom; no man finds any ill will in Christ; no man comes and is not welcome; no man comes and regrets his voyage; all men speak well of Christ, who have been with Him; men and angels who know Him will say more than I now do, and think more of Him than they can say.

Before you go to Amazon and think about buying the book (there are at least two actually), I’ll warn you that he gets a little dense, due to obscure Scottish words. My wife kindly bought me a short, abridged version of some of his letters, called “The Loveliness of Christ”, edited by Sinclair Ferguson, which just came out in 2007. It’s very short and very readable. You can find it here. I’m so thankful for the heroes that went before us who inspire our faith, and lately, especially, for Samuel Rutherford.

Marriage and the Mercy of God

2009-01-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

This week, couples from around the northeast will gather in Hershey, PA to attend the Sovereign Grace Marriage Conference Marriage and the Mercy of God. Many couple from our church will be in attendance. In an effort to declare our dependence on God, I’m including a series of prayer items. Whether you are going to attend the conference or not, please consider reading the items below and praying for God to move mightily.

Please pray for the conference, that:
- God would protect attendees in their travels.
- God would speak through the messages of those speaking.
- The speakers would hear clearly from God and be sensitive to how the Spirit may move.
- Those serving behind the scenes would experience the joy of the Lord in their service.

Please pray for those attending the conference, that:
- Husbands and wives would arrive humble and prepared to hear from God.
- Marriages that are doing well would listen with an intent to apply.
- Marriages doing poorly would be healed and restored.
- Each couple would experience the mercy of God in their marriage.

If you are attending the conference, please pray that:
- God’s grace would abound in your marriage.
- You would seek to apply what you hear to your life first…with humility and dependence.
- God would protect and guide the conversations you and your spouse have.
- You would be sensitive to ministry opportunities for other couples.

As we pray, may God has mercy on our marriages and on each husband and wife. And may we seek to grow in godliness that God’s glory might shine forth through our marriages…and beyond.

Hot Chocolate Explosions

2009-01-13T06:00:00.001-05:00

Whoever created flat, un-washable ceiling paint obviously doesn’t like our family.

While I was getting ready for church one Sunday, I heard an explosion-like sound from the kitchen. My six-year-old daughter came bounding up to my bedroom out of breath to give me the full report.

"Mom! Someone was making hot chocolate (big gasp for air) and it spilled."

(Hmmm. Since when do spills sound like an explosion?)

"They cleaned it up… but it got on the ceiling (waiting for my reaction). They're trying to wash it off."

(Wash it off? Hot chocolate? On the ceiling??)

On my kitchen ceiling are handprints, spaghetti sauce splotches, water marks, and other miscellaneous splatters, so I shouldn't have been shocked to learn of the hot chocolate stains. However, the question that I still had to face at that moment was how was I going to respond when I walked downstairs?

So often my flesh takes over and I end up responding to these kinds of (daily) circumstances in a rash, unkind way (i.e. yelling and lecturing.) But in this particular moment the Lord reminded me of a lesson that I learned several years ago as our family walked through a trial. In my journal I wrote:

"I have an opportunity to be a sweet fragrance to my children through the circumstances of my life. What a privilege to disciple my children in trusting God as I react to unpleasant circumstances in a way that glorifies and trusts Him. I can't see this role as insignificant. This Christ-like responding is my calling right now. I can't be looking for a bigger calling or a more glamorous calling… this is my calling - to respond like Christ in my home. What volumes I will be teaching my kids!"

"Through this trial, I feel like the Lord has given me a new picture of my purpose in life as a mother. It's not to "do, do, do" (things that are outwardly rewarding and seemingly spiritual), but simply to "be" a reflection of Christ as I depend on Him."

When I walked into the kitchen that Sunday morning, not only was there hot chocolate on the ceiling, my feet stuck to the floor and there were traces of hot chocolate in the drawers, the countertops and on the cupboard doors. I was thankful that the Holy Spirit reminded me about my calling to represent Christ to my children as I responded to this crisis moment and to ask Him for help.

With 7 kids in my home, I face situations like this multiple times each day. Though I feel like I fail to respond in a godly manner more times than I succeed, I'm grateful that the Holy Spirit is at work making me aware of His high calling for me as a mother.

May the Lord give us strength to respond in a way that gives Him glory and that teaches our children that we can joyfully trust Him in all circumstances – even in the midst of hot chocolate explosions.

"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:19

Word Pictures Worth Pondering

2009-01-12T06:00:00.000-05:00

I’m working my way through Sinclair Ferguson’s "In Christ Alone" in my devotions and have really been hit by some of the things I’ve read. This past week I read a section on the power of the tongue where he used some very vivid word pictures to describe how our words matter. Here’s what caught my attention,

“Our use of the tongue is a sure evidence of the condition of our heart. It is the hinge on which the doors into our souls swing open in order to reveal our spirits. In effect, as our words leave our mouths they are like so many media people rushing to file their reports on the condition of our souls… The tongue that has tasted the Lord's goodness speaks appropriately as well as sits silently. It praises as well as rebukes, comforts as well as challenges. Such a tongue reveals a heart that is a veritable department store of graces.” (p175, 177)

Let’s consider three word pictures he uses.

Our tongue as the hinge on the doors into our souls.

The purpose of a door is controlled access. It keeps in things that should stay in, and keeps out things that should stay out. I’ve got some closet doors in my basement with loose hinges. They never quite close right, and because they are closet doors, all the junk behind them tends to spill out when I least expect it. How many times have I known I should have shut my mouth, and then said that one more thing…. Hinges are tricky things.

Our tongue as media people filing reports on our souls

It’s crazy being an Eagles fan. One play works and they’re going to the Super bowl. They can’t make a first down on third and one and they’re bums. Regardless of what happens, talk radio is there, filing reports on everything imaginable. What is the story that get’s filed about our soul? It determined by moment to moment success or failure, or does it tell a consistent story?

Our tongue as the display window of our heart

I used to work in the display department of a department store. There was an awful lot going on behind the scenes to create an attractive display window. The purpose of a display window isn’t to sell the clothes in the window. It’s to attract you to consider what’s beyond the window in the store. That’s the way our tongues should work. When we speak people should be attracted to the work of God in our hearts behind the window of our speech.

What word picture would describe your tongue?

Pray Expectantly

2009-01-09T06:00:00.000-05:00

Unanswered prayer. Is there anything more perplexing? Wouldn’t it be much better if God had given us some sort of system to know how prayer gets answered? Maybe he could have given us some bins for different types of prayers. A bin for ‘need this right now’. Maybe a bin for ‘willing to wait on this one’. And we’d probably do well to have a bin for ‘not sure I really want this one answered’. Then we could just sort our prayers like the mail. That would make sense. I’d like those kinds of prayer times.

But we don’t know. Every single prayer we pray – every single prayer – is by definition an act of faith. It takes faith to speak out to a God who doesn’t always seem to be there. It takes faith to keep on praying for things when there’s a list of other things we’ve prayed for that seems unanswered. And it can be hard to get back to the task when something we prayed for didn’t seem to come to pass.

Yet the call to prayer isn’t conditional. We are called to pray and to expect answers. Jesus makes that clear in the Gospels. And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” (Matt: 21:22 for example).

So we pray in faith. The truth is, it is this very ‘faithiness’ that is the heart of prayer. Without faith there cannot be prayer. In his classic and well worth reading book on prayer, E. M. Bounds locks prayer and faith in the same action – each motivating the other.

Faith is always praying. Prayer is always believing. Faith must have a tongue by which it can speak. Prayer is the tongue of faith. Faith must receive. Prayer is the hand of faith stretched out to receive. Prayer must rise and soar. Faith must give prayer the wings to rise and soar. Prayer must have an audience with God. Faith opens the door, and access and audience are given. Prayer asks. Faith lays its hand on the thing asked for. (The Possibilities of Prayer, 43)

How do we pray expectantly? By keeping in mind that there is one who hears, and our prayers never fall on deaf or uncaring ears. So, with the Psalmist,

O LORD, we pray, give us success! (Psalm 118:25)

Pray for Revival

2009-01-08T06:00:00.000-05:00

At exactly noon on September 23, 1857 a small group of six businessmen gathered together in the upstairs classroom of an old church in New York City. This small lunch hour prayer meeting yielded little in the way of evident power. But the faithful men decided to meet the following week to pray – again. The group grew to about 40 by October 14. On that afternoon the worst financial crisis in the history of the country to that date was unfolding. In the midst of the panic God invaded the little prayer meeting and within a few weeks over three thousand people from all walks of life were gathering. And within six months the City of New York was seeing ten thousand people gathering daily for prayer throughout the City. The Fulton Street Revival was a two year visitation of the Spirit that rejuvenated churches across the nation and across denominations.

In the history of the church revivals come rarely and unexpectedly. But when they do come they have always come from the faithful efforts of small groups of praying people. Charles Spurgeon gives us the heart of the saint in prayer for revival.

“Coming events cast their shadows before them, and when God is about to bless his people his coming favour casts the shadow of prayer over the church. When he is about to favour an individual he casts the shadow of hopeful expectation over his soul. Our prayers, let men laugh at them as they will, and say there is no power in them, are the indicators of the movement of the wheels of Providence. Believing supplications are forecasts of the future, He who prayeth in faith is like the seer of old, he sees that which is to be: his holy expectancy, like a telescope, brings distant objects near to him.”
- Charles Spurgeon, The Holy Spirit’s Intercession

Isaiah 57:15 For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: "I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite.

Pray the Scriptures

2009-01-07T06:00:00.000-05:00

The promises and claims of God’s word give us confidence to pray and tracks to pray along. When we pray, ‘in Jesus name’, we are simply saying that we believe we are praying according to his will. And his will is revealed and confirmed by his Word. As John Stott reminds us, what greater power do we have with which to pray than the eternal word of God!

“We need to win the battle of the prayer threshold. To help me persevere in prayer, I sometimes imagine a very high stone wall, with the living God on the other side of this walled garden he is waiting for me to come to him. There is only one way into the garden – a tiny door. Outside that door stands the devil with a drawn sword, ready to stop me. It is at this point that we need to defeat the devil in the name of Christ. Hat is the battle of the threshold. I think there are many of us who give up praying before we have tried to fight this battle. The best way to win, in my experience, is to claim the promise of Scripture, which the devil cannot undo.”
- John Stott. Authentic Christianity p. 225-226

PSA 119:89 Your word, O LORD, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens.

Pray Together

2009-01-06T06:00:00.000-05:00

When you think of prayer, what comes to your mind first – a quiet time alone with God – your own personal ‘prayer closet’? Or a prayer meeting? We often judge our prayer life based on how many minutes a day we spend in private prayer. But did you know that the overwhelming number of references to prayer in the Bible speak of gathering together with others for prayer? Theologian Timothy Chester brings us a helpful adjustment from his book "The Message of Prayer".

“It is sometimes said that good private prayer is the foundation of good corporate prayer, but it may be more biblical to say that that corporate prayer is the foundation of private prayer. Our experience of God in Christ is corporate. Western individualism has made the individual alone with God the centre of spirituality. For the people of the Bible it is the relationship between God and his people that is central. Personal prayer revolves around this common experience-not the other way around." (p.153)

As you go into your Community Group prayer time this week, don’t go thinking that you haven’t done enough private prayer to prepare you for praying in your group. Rather, see your Community Group prayer (or any prayer with God’s people) as a sound biblical starting point for renewed pursuit of personal prayer. As Jude encourages the gathered church in his letter,

But you, beloved, build yourselves up in your most holy faith; pray in the Holy Spirit; keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. (Jude 20-21)

Pray in Difficulty

2009-01-05T06:00:00.000-05:00

We begin our new near as a church with a focus on prayer. We’re going to be devoting our first community groups of the year to prayer. As Jared shared in his message on Sunday from Acts 4:23-31, ‘prayer is the voice of a church that is desperate for the power and presence of God.’

If we understand prayer rightly, we ARE desperate for prayer. It is the unique relational privilege we have with God our Father, made possible by the mediation of the Savior.

For our blogs this week we’re going to take a break from our regular features and devote the entire week inspiring you to pray based on points from Jared’s message. His first point is that we pray in difficulty. This is true no matter what our circumstances. If we are in a season of trial, we find that difficulty will drive us to cry out to God for mercy and deliverance. If we are in a season of blessing, the difficulty is to neglect prayer in favor of distraction and self-sufficiency. So no matter what, prayer will be accompanied by difficulty. That is where we see it operate.

The following words from John Piper will help you keep your desire to pray lively and your practice of prayer faithful.

“My hope is … not only that you feel encouraged to pray, but mainly that the nature of God as a fountain of free grace will be reaffirmed- that God is the kind of God who delights most deeply not in making demands but in meeting needs. Prayer is his delight because prayer shows the reaches of our poverty and the riches of his grace. Prayer is that wonderful transaction where the wealth of God’s glory is magnified and the wants of our soul are satisfied. Therefore God delights in the prayers of the upright.”

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. (Romans 12:12)

Enemy Number One in 2009

2009-01-02T06:00:00.000-05:00

I don’t know about you, but my pillow talks to me every night. It doesn’t yell, but it is a crystal clear whisperer. I know…telling you that my pillow talks to me might make you want to stop reading right now, but press on…you may discover that your pillow talks, too.

When I lay down at night, the house is quiet, but my mind is racing. And with a racing mind, my pillow whispers thoughts of how my day went. Sometimes, it shares its thoughts on the joys I experienced. More often, though, it shares with me regrets over my choice of words with my daughter…my tone with my son… missed opportunities.

And there’s often a theme. Like a recurring nightmare, sin themes occupy my one-way conversations with my pillow. Choices that repeat themselves…they mark my parenting. Can you relate to sin themes? Is yours in the front of your mind right now as you read? Good…because we’re declaring it Enemy Number One this year! And it is time for that pesky adversary to die once and for all!

Maybe its anger or passivity. Maybe you’re too demanding of your children, or too slothful. Maybe you don’t consider your children’s opinions or feelings…maybe you consider them so much you desire for them to like you more than you desire to lead them. Maybe it’s one of another hundred other options. Whatever it is, consider taking these steps in 2009.

- Call it out to the school yard for a fight. In other words, let the world know that you’re fighting it…invite friends to circle around you as you fight it. Let them know what the issue is, when it usually peeks its ugly head, and specifically how you sin when it does. Don’t keep it a secret or whisper nasty things about it. Open your lungs and declare war on it.

- Tell your children about the war. Even if they’re little, your children are probably familiar with this area of sin in your life. They know when it is being poured out on them…they can serve as early detectors of it. Help them do it, too. Confronting a parent on their sin can be a scary thing. So, provide them with “safe” words to highlight your sin. Mutually agreed upon words outside of conflict can be a great tool in the midst of conflict.

- Run a recon mission regularly. Check with those around you to see how the war is going. And fight the stealthy enemy of self-defense. Don’t excuse or explain away their observations…embrace them and make tactical adjustments according to the input you receive.

- Show no mercy! Your Enemy Number One will have no mercy on you…it seeks to destroy you. So, have no mercy on it. When it is down and groggy from the last strike, deal it a death blow. When it pleads for mercy, grant it none.

Like a good soldier fighting a good fight, when you go to sleep at night your pillow will whisper a job well done to you. And when you’re done and victorious listen again to your pillow. It may be letting you know what Enemy Number One for 2010 is going to be.

Jump Starting the New Year

2009-01-01T06:00:00.001-05:00

Hi Gents. If you’re catching this blog, chances are you’re like me. We woke up this morning and everything seemed pretty much the same – except a big calendar page flip occurred just a few hours ago. We’re probably packing a few extra pounds from holiday indulgences. We’re just about to hit the ground running as we head back to work and all those things that were part of ‘next year’ that now have become part of ‘right now’. So let me give you five simple tips for a successful start to the New Year. None are profound, and all are easy to do.

Find some way to get a good quiet time in today.
Only make one resolution, and make it something you can actually complete in January
If you still use paper checks, write ‘2009’ in the year column of the first 10 checks, until you get used to the New Year.
Try to do one completely others-centered thing today – something that the other person will recognize as your expression of kindness, affection, gratefulness, or respect.
Psych yourself up by watching the two minute video that Stephen Altrogge came across in his blog, The Blazing Center. Like Stephen, we don’t endorse all the movies referenced here, but this is really well done and you’ll certainly get the point.

Happy New Year!

The Year of Gratitude

2008-12-31T06:00:00.000-05:00

Tonight, we enter a new year. Many seize this annual opportunity to reflect on changes they want to make in their lives and goals they want to achieve in the upcoming year. This is a healthy and fruitful endeavor. One that is good for marriages and good for the soul. But what if we try something a little different this year?

What if you looked back and saw the faithfulness of God in and through your marriage? What if, even in difficult marital environments, you went on a hunt for how God used this year for the growth of your soul and your love and dependence on Him?

With that in mind, let me commend to you a small project. If you are part of the first camp, the one whose year has not been a crisis year, consider answering the following questions. These are meant to help you see through small obstacles and conflict and assist you in seeing the way God has moved in your marriage and in the marvelous gift of your spouse. (You’ll notice the questions are in 1st and 2nd person. You are the 1st…your spouse is the 2nd.)

- What were the qualities that attracted me the most to you when we first met?

- What qualities do I appreciate or have learned to appreciate most about you since we have been married?

- How have our differences helped me grow spiritually or emotionally?

- What steps will I take to commit to love you more effectively this year?

Now, with those answers, consider writing a letter of New Year’s Gratitude to your spouse. Don’t type it, even if your handwriting is as bad as mine. And don’t mail it…read it to him/her. Good and sincere gratitude is a wonderful blessing to any marriage. *

But what if you are in the 2nd camp? What if 2008 marks a difficult and devastating year for your marriage? Well, consider answering these questions.

- What areas of my heart / soul have been hurt this year?

- What has God revealed about me through this trial?

- What has God revealed about Him through this trial?

- What promises is God calling me to cling to through this trial?

Now, with those answers, consider writing a letter of New Year’s Gratitude to God. Once written, use it throughout the year to refocus your eyes on the cross and on a faithful God. Pray for the eyes and the faith to thank Him for what He’s allowed and to press more and more into Him as you walk forward by faith.

For everyone, please be sure to take the time to reflect on areas of growth needed for the New Year. But, consider thanking God for 2008…regardless of what 2008 brought.

* Many thanks to FamilyLife for these questions and this idea taken from their Weekend to Remember marriage conference.

God's Tapestry

2008-12-30T06:00:00.000-05:00

She desperately wanted to have a child. And to make matters worse, her rival, who had many children, "provoked her year after year in order to irritate her" (1 Samuel 1:5). So great was her longing that she wept much and prayed to the Lord. Why, she probably asked, did God not answer the cry of her heart? God in His timing did answer Hannah's prayer. As a matter of fact, He answered it in a much greater way than she probably ever dreamed. Her son Samuel became God's instrument in His marvelous plan of redemption.

Over and over again I'm reminded that my vantage point is so limited. We want what we want when we want it. From our limited view, we think that the best thing is to have our prayers answered immediately. We become distressed when a month passes with no answer and can begin to feel hopeless when years go by without change. It may be that we too long for a child, for a better job for our husband, to move into a bigger house, for a child to give his/her heart to the Savior, for a loved one to be healed…

Looking back, I remember those times when I prayed that we would get a specific house only to find that our offer was not accepted. I've prayed that my husband would get a promising job, yet he was passed over. I've prayed for a child to be healed, but she was not. Looking back, I can see that God had better plans for me – but how difficult it was to trust God in the midst of the longing.
The story of Hannah's life encourages me in several ways. Through the wait, God increased Hannah's pursuit of God. Out of desperation, Hannah pressed relentlessly into God. And as she did, He changed her heart. Each time God puts a longing in my heart, it causes me to press into Him. As I think of a current longing that I am facing, Hannah's story infuses me with faith. I've been praying for a certain situation for years, and I can tend to become discouraged. But, the Lord has kept me from losing faith; He's kept me pressing into Him. He draws my heart to Him each day as I pray that my heart's desire would be answered.

Through the story of Hannah's life I'm helped to see my circumstance through the lens of faith. There's much more at stake than the immediate answer to my prayer. God is weaving my longings and the cry of my heart into the tapestry of His purposes for something greater than I can even dream of. As I daily cry out to God to answer this longing, I have great hope that not only will He someday answer, but that His answer will come at a time and in a way that will bring the most glory to His name. He will use my prayers that He caused me to pray to bring about a greater purpose than I ever dreamed. Not only will He answer in His perfect way and in His perfect time, he's using this circumstance to change me, to grow my faith and to help me to rest in Him.

I'm sure that Hannah had no idea that God wanted to use her yet-to-be conceived son to change the course of Israel's history. But God gave her those strong desires so that she would persistently cry out to Him and dedicate her son to His service. Be encouraged that God can see the whole picture. We see only a tiny piece, but we can rest in the fact that God has bigger things in mind for us than we can ask or imagine.

A Big Enough Gospel

2008-12-29T06:00:00.000-05:00

When we think of what it means to be a Christian, nothing is more telling about us than how the Gospel shapes our view of life. The Gospel shouldn’t just be central to us, it must be big enough to address any situation we face or need we have. Nineteenth century hymn writer Horatio Bonar describes a very big Gospel for us.

“All that Christ did and suffered, from the manger to the tomb, forms one glorious whole, no part of which shall ever become needless or obsolete; no part of which one can ever leave without forsaking the whole.

I am always at the manger, and yet I know that mere incarnation cannot save; always at Gethsemane, and yet I believe that its agony was not the finished work; always at the cross, with my face toward it, and my eye on the crucified One, and yet I am persuaded that the sacrifice there was completed once for all; always looking into the grave, though I rejoice that it is empty, and that ‘He is not here, but is risen’; always resting (with the angel) on the stone that was rolled away, and handling the grave-clothes, and realizing a risen Christ, nay, an ascended and interceding Lord, yet on no pretext whatever leaving any part of my Lord’s life or death behind me, but unceasingly keeping up my connection with Him, as born, living, dying, buried, and rising again, and drawing out from each part some new blessing every day and hour.” (as quoted by firstimportance.org )

As we head into a new year, let us resolve to live out of a Gospel that is truly big enough for all we will face.

The 12 Days After Christmas

2008-12-26T06:00:00.001-05:00

Now that the gifts are opened and the holiday meal eaten, we thought a little fun might be in order. This video is a fun take on the reality many of us face once Christmas comes to pass. Merry Day-After Christmas.

Holiday Greetings From Your Family Life Pastors

2008-12-25T06:00:00.000-05:00

This Christmas Season we thank God for the opportunity to serve the families of Covenant Fellowship Church and to build our lives together as couples and families in the mercy and grace of God.

That man should be made in God's image is a wonder,

but that God should be made in man's image is a greater wonder.
That the Ancient of Days would be born?
That He who thunders in the heavens should cry in the cradle?"
~Thomas Watson~

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Traditions: Old and New

2008-12-24T06:00:00.000-05:00

Today is Christmas Eve. Yep. If that serves as a news flash to you, please stop reading and go finish your shopping…I’ll wait. If you knew that, then you are most likely ready for tomorrow…the big day.

Families all have different traditions that they do at this time of year. Early in our marriage, Gina and I would read the book The Gift of the Magi to each other. Slowly, though, Christmas Eve traditions developed into gift wrapping and more gift wrapping. But, if you are like us and striving to have the wrapping out of the way, let me propose an idea for you.

This past Sunday, four members of our Cross Culture Youth ministry performed a synthesis of an Old Testament passage with a number of New Testament passages. Very powerful when you understand how God foretold the coming and purpose of our Savior.

Well, that was an excerpt from a larger piece that Marty Machowski put together for our Cross Culture Christmas party. The piece, far too long to post here in the blog, is an exercise in worship. How glorious to celebrate the coming and the telling of our Savior. And what a great gift for husbands and wives to enjoy together.

You can view it here for your use with our recommendation. Have a very Merry Christmas!

Shopping, an Adventure in Marriage

2008-12-23T06:00:00.000-05:00

Editor’s note: Andrea submitted this blog last Christmas but we didn’t get the chance to use it. But she told me that this is becoming their new tradition.

As I stuffed the gifts under my bed, I couldn’t believe David and I had just spent the whole day shopping together—a first in our 25 years of marriage! I have always done the majority of the Christmas shopping for our family, but this year, I was not able to get out there and do the early bird thing. So I asked David if he would be willing to take one of his vacation days and go with me. The look on his face said it all; but then he quickly recovered and agreed to go. We started the day at eight am and headed for Lowe’s. Within 3 minutes (give or take), David found some cool gadgets for the men in our extended family and then headed for the register.

Now David is disposed toward decisiveness and efficiency, a quality I’ve always liked in him – except for times such as this. I tend to mull over things, compare, evaluate, and analyze. Some say I go overboard trying to get just the right thing at the right price, which can make shopping with me a “prisoner of war” type experience. I can’t imagine how they come to that conclusion.

As we sat in the car looking over our shopping list, I started to get this uncomfortable feeling that David might not be the asset I thought he’d be. Without much thought, I offered him an “observation,” mumbling something about missing evangelism opportunities if we did things his way. Mercifully, he did not expose my attempt to manipulate and listened with a gentle smile. I was experiencing our differences acutely at that moment, and I had a choice on how to respond. Could I joyfully follow my husband’s leadership and wisdom, or would I battle for supremacy? By God’s grace, I did not press the issue and we went onto the next store. We were there a little longer, say about 10 minutes And so went the day. As we traveled to each place, we talked over ideas, laughed, and bantered with each other—all still at a nice pace. By the afternoon, we were sitting in a restaurant counting our receipts, and I couldn’t believe we were almost done. It was amazing to me – for I would have traditionally spread this event out over weeks and over budget.

As I recounted the day (which by the way, I thoroughly enjoyed), I marveled at the grace of God to use our differences as the source of joy between us that day rather than as a joy extinguisher. We, as well as close friends of ours, would be the first to tell you that there are many times when both of us have made different choices in our words and actions toward one another, and still do, but God has been so merciful to us a couple. His amazing grace first saves us and then “teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” (Titus 2:12) And in the context of relationships, in this case our marriage which God has so graciously given us to enjoy, that results in forbearance, harmony, and love, which in turn reflects His character and brings the glory to Him!

And a wonderful day of shopping!

Do You Hear What I Hear?

2008-12-22T06:00:00.000-05:00

The other night we were at a Christmas party with friends. Toward the end of the party our hosts gave us each a packet of Christmas hymns, which we proceeded to sing around a piano. What had been a great party became great worship, because the songs we were singing contained the astounding truth of the incarnation of our Savior.

Over the next few days as familiar Christmas carols rattle around in your head, take some time and ponder the deep Gospel thoughts contained in some familiar carols:

Angels From the Realms of Glory
Saints before the altar bending, watching long in hope and fear
Suddenly the Lord, descending, in His temple shall appear
Come and worship, come and worship, worship Christ the newborn King

Good Christian Men Rejoice
Good Christian men, rejoice with heart and soul and voice;
Now ye need not fear the grave;
Peace! Peace! Jesus Christ was born to save!
Calls you one and calls you all to gain his everlasting hall.
Christ was born to save!
Christ was born to save!

It Came Upon the Midnight Clear
O ye, beneath life's crushing load whose forms are bending low,
Who toil along the climbing way with painful steps and slow;
Look now! for glad and golden hours come swiftly on the wing;
O rest beside the weary road and hear the angels sing.

For lo! the days are hastening on, by prophets seen of old,
When with the ever-circling years shall come the time foretold,
When the new heaven and earth shall own the Prince of Peace their King,
And the whole world send back the song which now the angels sing.

O Little Town Of Bethlehem
How silently, how silently the wondrous gift is given!
So God imparts to human hearts the blessings of His heaven.
No ear may hear His coming; but in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive Him, still the dear Christ enters in.

Silent Night
Silent night, Holy night! Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face, with the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus Lord at thy birth; Jesus Lord at thy birth.

The First Noel
Then let us all with one accord; sing praises to our heavenly Lord,
That hath made heaven and earth of naught
And with His blood mankind hath bought.
Noel Noel Noel Noel! Born is the King of Israel!

What Child is This?
Nails, spear, shall pierce Him through, the Cross be borne, for me, for you:
Hail, hail, the Word made flesh, the Babe, the Son of Mary!
This, this is Christ the King; whom shepherds guard and angels sing.
Haste, haste to bring Him laud, the Babe, the Son of Mary.

We Three Kings
Myrrh is mine, its bitter perfume breathes a life of gathering gloom.
Sorrowing, sighing, bleeding, dying, sealed in the stone cold tomb.
Glorious now behold Him arise, King and God and Sacrifice!
Al-le-lu-ia, al-le-lu-ia, heaven to earth replies.
O star of wonder, star of night, star with royal beauty bright.
Westward leading, still proceeding, guide us to thy perfect light.

Hark the Herald Angels Sing
Hail! the heaven-born Prince of Peace! Hail! the Son of Righteousness!
Light and life to all He brings, risen with healing in His wings.
Mild He lays His glory by, born that man no more may die;
Born to raise the sons of earth, born to give them second birth
Hark! the herald angels sing, "Glory to the newborn King"

Joy to the World
He rules the world with truth and grace, and gives to nations proof
The glories of His righteousness, and wonders of His love;
And wonders of His love; and wonders, wonders of His love.

5 Practical Insights / Tips to Make this Christmas a Parenting Success

2008-12-19T06:00:00.000-05:00

I don’t know about your home, but Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year for us. It’s the most wonderful time for family and fun. It’s the most wonderful time for temptation and sin. So, maybe “the most wonderful time” is not the right title. Maybe “it was the best of times…it was the worst of times” fits better.

I find that going into something with our eyes wide open can help contribute to its success. And having some tools when you see it helps even more. So, to that end, here’s 5 tips that you may find useful. (If not, send us some of your own so I can be more helpful next year.)

1. Your children’s sin patterns will be enhanced this Yuletide: With presents tempting their selfishness, extended family members discouraging discipline, and the inevitable loss of sleep that comes from travelling about, sin will most likely abound. Expect it. Don’t be surprised by it. Respond out of intention and not out of reaction.

2. Give everyone an empty trash bag: There is something about clutter that makes parenting harder. And Christmas provides its fair share of clutter with wrapping paper, empty boxes, etc. So, spread around the responsibility for trash removal. And keep extra bags handy, because my non-scientific research reveals that December 27th or so, a second echelon of trash makes its move on the family room.

3. Continue (or Begin) the annual December 26th Sleep-in Celebration: No earthly medicine is as effective as the medicine of rest. And, after a day filled with enhanced sin patters and boundless clutter, a good and long night’s sleep will serve the whole family. Or, you could consider a close cousin of this tradition…the annual December 26th mandatory nap day. That is one of my favorites.

4. Consider creating teaching episodes rather than preaching a Christmas message: “Keeping Christ in Christmas” is far from a novel idea. But most children, regardless of age, have exciting things on their mind each Christmas. Much of the time, they are happy to give you their attention and their heart for a reading out of Luke or a Christmas lesson…but have mercy and keep it short. Create a couple of times throughout the day where you gather again for the next installment. But don’t teach them in a 90 minute lesson what could be taught in four “10 minute” installments.

5. Toy dump before…or at least after: Many families in America have more toys than we know what to do with. Consider creating some room for new things by selecting a good number of old things that have to go. You could donate them to less fortunate families or non-profit organizations. Or, you could store them in a corner of your attic or garage until June/July. Pulling out old toys and storing other ones makes it like Christmas all over again in the summer.

There are hundreds more tips/insights that could be shared and many may be better than the 5 that I did share. The bottom line, though, is that parenting during the holidays provides us with great family memories…and some that are not so great. It gives us the best of times and the worst of times. Being prepared for the temptation might just afford you a year of Christmas lived in the best of times. That would be parenting success.

The Loving Rebuke of Christ

2008-12-18T06:00:00.001-05:00

I’m reading through the gospel of Mark these days and a particular section really stood out to me. In Chapter 4:35-41 Mark explains the account of Jesus and the disciples in their boats on the Sea of Galilee. Jesus, exhausted from ministering to the masses, falls asleep while a fierce storm rages and causes the disciples to panic. Jesus is woken up with accusing remarks from his closest friends that He is uncaring for the safety of their lives. After rebuking the wind and the waves, Jesus turns to rebuke His followers. “How can you be in such disbelief?” At first glance it appears Jesus is a bit harsh with these guys. Being that some of them were experienced fishermen, their reaction to the storm is telling. They honestly thought their lives were in jeopardy and were fearful of death. This was no small storm. They, however, forgot who was in the boat with them. They had been with Christ for some time now. They saw His power and ability to perform miraculous things. He was obviously no ordinary prophet. Yet the disciples still had trouble trusting Him.

I see myself here. Having walked with Jesus for a little while now I’ve seen Him do amazing things in my life and in the lives of those I love. Still, though, I can be found doubting His control of and care for my life and it doesn’t even take a life threatening nautical experience. Just give me a night that doesn’t go my way or an unexpected car repair and I can respond with, “Lord, don’t you care about what’s going on here?” That’s why I am grateful for this loving rebuke of Jesus in Mark’s gospel. I think the Scriptures show us that Jesus had plans to make something out of these men and that He wanted them to learn faith in the severest of trials. He was forming them into men who could glorify their Father in heaven by maintaining a trust in their God when all around them seemed to fail. The truth is, He’s still making men like that today.

As followers of Christ we need the loving discipline of our Savior. Hebrews tells us that God rebukes and disciplines those whom He receives as sons (see Heb. 12:3-13). It is a comfort to know that divine discipline is always done in love and it always achieves its purpose: righteous, Christ-like, God-glorifying lives. So, whether the boat’s filling up with water or the car needs another $500 repair, may we respond in faith and humbly cry out to Jesus: “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you” (Ps. 56:3).

Don’t Forget the Mistletoe

2008-12-17T06:00:00.000-05:00

Regardless of what time of year it is, all busy times have one thing in common…they’re all busy. And yet, when it comes to Christmas, busy reaches a whole new level. Between parties you attend and parties you host, keeping the house in normal order with a tree in your family room and lights around your windows, managing the house while buying lots of presents, it’s a wonder more people don’t actually lose their heads.

After all, busy people get tired. Busy people get to bed late. And really busy people get up early. As a result, during these busy times, intimacy can be put on hold. Yet, during these busy times, it is important to be intentional about intimacy.

There may be times in your marriage when intimacy flows naturally and unhindered. However, for many people, busy times ruin it…and busy times grow more and more prevalent. If we lose intentionality with intimacy and rely upon the natural flow, many times we lose intimacy altogether.

You’ve probably not forgotten the Christmas tree, the lights or the garland. So don’t forget the mistletoe. As you do, here’s a couple things to keep in mind:

- Don’t make it all about the bedroom: Great intimacy may end in the bedroom, but it doesn’t often start there. While you’re sitting side by side or across from each other wrapping presents or making Christmas cookies, take some time to reminisce. Talk of your first Christmas together, fun family memories. If you’re brave and it’s appropriate, talk about Christmas nightmares that are funny now.

- Don’t forget the bedroom: Do make sure that your intimacy doesn’t always end with reminiscing. Make the bedroom a priority during busy seasons…maybe even especially during busy seasons. This may mean taking a half-time break in wrapping presents to be sure the hour is reasonable.

- Be playful…it’s the most wonderful time of year: Essentially, put mistletoe generously around the house. Have fun with notes, looks, gestures, turns of phrases, pinches, kisses, etc.

- Be creative: Consider a tradition as a couple…even if for the first time. Read a Christmas book to each other. Listen to a Christmas CD while snuggling in front of a fire or under a blanket. Read Luke 1 and 2 to each other. How about starting the annual Christmas massage on back to back nights?

You’ve remembered to celebrate Christmas with your parents, with your children, with your friends, and with your coworkers. Don’t forget to celebrate Christmas with your spouse. And, as you turn your attention to celebrating your spouse at Christmas, don’t forget the mistletoe. I trust you won’t regret it.

The Letters of Joseph and Mary

2008-12-17T05:55:00.000-05:00

Jared Mellinger wrote a poem that he read in church during our Songs for the Savior teaching series. In it, he explores the relationship between Joseph and Mary...wonderful insights. As wonderful as the poem was, we wanted to share it with you. So, if you follow this link, you'll see the poem in its entirety.

Stress Reducer

2008-12-16T06:00:00.000-05:00

Hi Ladies, Andy here. I know this is a hectic season – eight more shopping days till Christmas! So in a very kind pastoral gesture, I’m going to add a little levity to your busy week. I got this from the Girl Talk blog, so it has already been approved for female consumption. It’s pretty funny, too.

A cop pulls over a blonde, and says, “Ma’am, you were speeding. May I please see your driver’s license?”

“Oh, well, you see officer, I don’t have a drivers license,” the blonde replies. “I never really had the time to go to the DMV and stand for hours in line…and anyway, all you get are terrible pictures.” The slightly taken aback cop says, “Well, then, may I see your proof of registration?"

“Well, officer,” the blonde says, “this isn’t my car. I wanted to borrow it from my neighbor, because it’s so much faster than mine and I was late for a wedding – that’s why I was speeding – but he said no really rudely, so I hit him over the head with a tire iron and stuffed him in the trunk.”

The horrified police officer backs away and calls for backup, and the police chief himself comes out, along with a squad, to see about this.

“Ma’am,” says the chief, “may I see your driver’s license?” The blonde hands it to him and it hasn’t expired or anything, everything’s okay. “May I see your proof of registration?” The blonde hands that to him, and it’s her car, and everything’s okay. “I hate to bother you,” the chief says, “but may I look in your trunk?”

So she pops the trunk and there’s nothing in there. The chief comes back to her window. “We’re sorry, ma’am. The officer over there said that you didn’t have a driver’s license, this wasn’t your car, and that you’d killed a man.”

“You know what,” says the blonde, “I bet he told you I was speeding, too.”

HT: girltalk.blogs.com

Your regular bloggers will be back next week!

What’s Your Bible All About?

2008-12-15T06:00:00.000-05:00

What’s the Bible all about? I just finished up a great course in Biblical Theology at Westminster Seminary. For the class I read some outstanding material on the storyline of the Bible. One of the amazing things in studying the Bible not just as a collection of theological truths is that you see the amazing way the writers and collectors of the Scriptures knew they were telling small sections of a great salvation story. And most didn’t even know how the story would end. That’s the point Peter makes in his first letter,

1 Peter 1:10-12 Concerning this salvation, the prophets who prophesied about the grace that was to be yours searched and inquired carefully, inquiring what person or time the Spirit of Christ in them was indicating when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the subsequent glories. It was revealed to them that they were serving not themselves but you, in the things that have now been announced to you through those who preached the good news to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven, things into which angels long to look.

In one of my assignments I came across this amazing insight into the story of the Bible from Ed Clowney. I’ve highlighted the last sentence. Stop and take in the head-spinning reason we have the Bible.

“The Bible is not only from God, it is about God. The Bible story is not the history of Israel, nor the biographies of saints whose lives may inspire us. It is God's story, the account of his saving work. God speaks his promises and acts to keep them. The initiative is always his. In the Garden of Eden, after the sin of Adam and Eve, the Lord came seeking them. God promised that the Son of the woman would crush the head of the serpent, even as his heel was struck (Gn 3:15). That promise is the rationale for human history. Had God spoken his word of judgment rather than his promise, human history would have ended at the foot of the tree in the Garden. God's plan to send Christ is the reason we have the Bible; indeed, the reason there is a human race.” (“The Glory of the Coming Lord Discovering Christ in the Old Testament”; Modern Reformation 4:6; November/December 1995, 22-26

How Do You Eat an Elephant?

2008-12-12T06:00:00.000-05:00

I know our church has its share of hunters, but deer tend to be the normal fare. Elephant hunters? I’m not sure we have them. So, in our unified ignorance, the title question could present us with many options. Yet, in all, there is one common theme. Regardless of how you decide to eat an elephant, you’ll end up eating it one bite at a time.

Lest your memory be poor, let me remind you…elephants are big. And eating an elephant would take a long time. Taking a look at the size of the meal before you would discourage even the heartiest appetite. But if you’ve been charged with eating one, one bite at a time is the only way to go.

As we look at our task of parenting, we can too often be overwhelmed with the meal before us. It presents us with a seemingly insurmountable task. We look at our 6 year old and wonder how he’ll ever get married. We look at our 11 year old and don’t know which of her sin patterns to address first. We look at our 16 year old and wonder who dropped the 32 year old in her skin. And, as a result, we’re overwhelmed.

Remember…one bite at a time.

If we try to address every issue our children have, we’ll spend all our waking hours in correction or some sort of “life-shaping” discussion with them. If we dwell on all there is to do and the limited resources we have to do it, the sheer weight of the task will crush our fragile hearts.

Step back and remind yourself…one bite at a time.

Maybe an external example would help. Take yourself for example.

You were a sinner, far from God. When God redeemed you, He got the whole package, sin patterns and all. When He began convicting you of sin, did He attack all of your sin at once? Did He demand that you deal with every imperfection, flaw, and wart on your soul? Clearly, the answer is no.

He approached your soul one bite at a time. A little bit of truth…a little bit of application…a little bit of encouragement. Then He moved on to another bit of truth…another bit of application…another bit of encouragement. He demonstrated patience with you…and He still does. He’s not in a rush to swallow the elephant whole…He moves one bite at a time.

How would the parenting task change in your home if you stopped trying to swallow the whole elephant? How would that affect your joy? …your encouragement? …your conversation?

“Whole-Elephant” parenting does nothing but give both the parents and the children a belly ache. No one can swallow a meal like that. Put on patience…put on a long view of the parenting task. And follow the example of your loving heavenly Father and approach it one bite at a time. That is how you eat an elephant.

Newly Married and 20 Years Later

2008-12-11T06:00:00.000-05:00

So there I was sitting across the lunch table from a newly married couple. I didn’t see literal twinkles in their eyes as they spoke but they sure did have a refreshing simplicity to their conversation. Missing from the conversation were topics that a couple married twenty years would have, and rightly so. A short time later I thought to myself, if I could go back twenty years what would I do differently in our marriage? The thoughts came to me like a flood. Here are the ones that stand out:

EMPLOYMENT. My wife worked full-time for many years before we had children and is now home as a full-time Mom. Although we do not regret her having worked, we needed her income to help balance our household budget. Looking back, it would have been preferable if I had designed our budget around my income alone and instead put her income toward the down payment on a home or long-term savings so that she did not carry a burden for providing for our daily needs.

DEBT. Early on I made several misguided financial decisions resulting in debt. Here is one that still causes me to scratch my head today. I decided to bless a missionary couple with cash . . . cash that I didn’t have. I borrowed the money from a line of credit and took years to pay it off. My intentions to bless the couple were good but my method of borrowing money was bad. Today, we are wiser and with a course like Financial Peace University, we are focused on a biblical approach to finances.

INTIMACY. This one is simple. Guys, we are built like light bulbs. When the switch is turned on the light comes on instantly. Our wives are more like irons. When the switch on the iron is moved to on, the warming up process takes a little while longer than a light bulb. A simple concept but when I ignored this I revealed my lack of sensitivity to God’s design of my wife. Enough said!

DATES. Yes, we do have dates as a couple, but I have not always been consistent with getting the dates onto the calendar. Even though it’s never too late to build the consistency of dating into the schedule, early in our marriage it would have been a great practice to have them built in on a regular basis.

Don’t think I’m locked up with regrets. God can use all our experiences to His glory. We’re in a church that regularly provides us with both the vision and practical resources we need to grow and excel as husbands. Courses (like Alpha, Financial Peace University, Vital Life), sermon series (like Sola Gratia and The Money Crunch) and discussions with friends or community group members can keep us on the right track. While you have the chance, make wise decisions…they do affect your future which will be here sooner than you realize!

You Raise Me Up

2008-12-10T06:00:00.000-05:00

I fancy myself to be a fairly proficient painter. My work has been on the walls of each of our homes. Actually, my work has been the walls of each of our homes. And my brush looks a whole lot like a roller. When it comes to artistic painting, to fine art, I am most definitely not your man.

Yet the fine artist uses many of the same tools as I do. The artist uses the same paint as I do. Yet, in his hands, a canvas sings. In my hands, even the brushes scream.

It’s the same with words as it is with brushes. There’s nothing fancy to words, but when they are placed on the right tongue, or spoken from a right heart, words sing. Consider Proverbs 15:23:

To make an apt answer is a joy to a man, and a word in season, how good it is!

No one in my life carries more weight in words than my spouse. A word spoken harshly can demolish an otherwise joy-filled day. A word spoken in love can rescue a day lost at sea. Her apt answers bring joy to this man and her words in season are good indeed.

In each of our lives, there are areas that repeatedly challenge our joy and our faith. For some, it may be their jobs. For others, it may be friends or family. For still others it may be holiday seasons, or anniversaries of a loved one’s death.

As the husband or wife of a spouse facing trial, consider this a call to action. You’ve been given a paintbrush and even though you may only paint walls, God is calling you to paint a masterpiece of grace and encouragement in your spouse’s life. You hold an incredible power in your tongue. And there are areas where your spouse regularly struggles for faith…for joy. So, raise them up through purposeful and loving encouragement.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths,
but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion,
that it may give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:29

True encouragement, the type that is received the way it is intended, is like a three-legged stool. Without one of these, your efforts to raise up your spouse are in jeopardy.

1. Study your spouse: Identify areas where they are in regular need of encouragement. Discover the way in which your spouse best receives encouragement. Some people prefer to have their issue called out into the open while others like to discover it for themselves. And answer this very practical question: at what time of day will your spouse best receive encouragement? Choose wisely.

2. Pray for your spouse: The heart is truly encouraged when God acts upon it. Ask God to bring lasting encouragement to your spouse. Ask God to enlarge your spouse’s faith. Pray for Spirit-led opportunities to encourage your spouse.

3. Speak to your spouse: Yes, eventually you will be called upon to encourage your spouse with the great power of words.

You may be like me…a great painter of walls but a disaster at art. However, your words in the Master’s hand will create masterpieces of grace and encouragement in your spouse’s life. And, through your loving encouragement, you will be used of God to raise up the countenance, faith, and gaze of your spouse.

Forever tied to my Savior…

2008-12-09T06:00:00.000-05:00

Recently I tried to teach my two youngest children to play “Cat’s Cradle”, a game played by two people using a loop of string with their hands to complete a series of weaving moves to make a cradle-like design. The first child caught on instantly and we enjoyed several rounds of weaving the intricate moves together. What a sense of accomplishment to see the finished design! Not so for the other, who despite repeated attempts and instruction just couldn’t get it. We’re talking knots, hanging loops, and tangles. And because two people are required to hold the strings and make the moves, my “hands were tied” (literally!) from completing the beautiful design.

Later that day as I looked back and laughed at the humorous results of trying to play the game with a seven year old, I heard the Lord whisper ever so gently, ‘aren’t you glad that I hold the strings of your life?’ What a striking thought as I remembered my frustrated efforts in the mess of fingers and string. And what a gracious God to so readily remind that His hands are never tied! My game may have been frustrated by my child’s inability to learn the moves, but in ‘real life’ nothing can rob me of my well being. The Lord forever holds me in his hands and nothing can steal my joy. The Lord has not given the strings of my life to another…they are forever tied to Him.

In John 16:22, Jesus, while looking ahead to the cross, declared to his disciples, “So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” “No one will take your joy from you” …my joy and well being come not from my circumstances or my own accomplishments, and they are not ruined by trial or the sin of another. They come from my Savior who redeemed me with his very own blood on the cross, and they are forever mine.

How often do we let a difficult day, or a disobedient child, or an unmet desire rob us of our joy? Why not “tie a string” around your finger to remember that it is our Savior who holds the strings of our lives, and let’s purpose to let nothing rob us of the joy that is irrevocably ours in our salvation.

God in Skin

2008-12-08T06:00:00.000-05:00

As we enter the Christmas season we are once again presented with the opportunity to ponder the amazing reality of the incarnation. We’ll be doing that each Sunday in our series, “Songs of the Savior”.

Louie Giglio has a very interesting perspective on what it meant to be ‘born as man with man to dwell, Jesus our Emmanuel’.

God is eager to share his take on you. Here it is.

Mess Up.

Definitely.

Deeply Loved.

Anyway.

Both are true and both things set him in motion shaping history with a story fueled by unstoppable grace. You see God was not shut down by our failure. Nor did the consequences of our rebellion dim his beautiful heart of love. No, we were the ones shut down when sin caused our souls to die. And die we did. It’s bad news, death.

Because dead people can’t see. Can’t breathe. Can’t help themselves. Dead people can’t do anything. That is why they call him Savior. When we were dead and could not touch God, Jesus came down and touched us.

It is the most phenomenal thing that has or will ever happen to you and me. Divinity rushing into humanity. God in skin marching steadily to the beat of his own love. And nothing and no one could alter his course.
- Louie Giglio, “Remembering the Silence”

Originally posted here

A Touch of Eternity

2008-12-05T06:00:00.000-05:00

Children are a gift.

This is not an opinion. Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like a reality. But it is truth. God says so and that settles it.

Hopefully, many of you can list a great number of personal and specific examples of ways that your children are gifts. But there is one that we can often overlook. So, for all your parents reading this, let’s reminisce a bit.

Think back to the birth of your children. I know for me, with each of them, there was this amazing, meaningful, pregnant moment when the momentum of labor and delivery all stood still. It happened once each of my children were wrapped up and lying under the French fry warmer.

What was it that filled that moment? What caused my heart to stand still and my eyes to fill with soggy wonder…every time? It was a touch of eternity.

There is something profound about witnessing the birth of a part of you that will, in most cases, carry you beyond your lifetime. There is something “extending” about the birth of a child. There is an awareness of our smallness…of a generation that will live beyond us. In the birth of our children, our minds and our hearts are stretched beyond the span of our years and we understand our finitude…and that God’s gift of children stretches it beyond us.

Yet, even our “stretched out” finitude is finite. And our children, should they outlive us, will still come face to face with their finitude. And so will their children, in the same way our parents did and we are currently. Though having children stretches it a bit, we’re still left in the same reality as the previous generation…and the next. We’re finite.

But we serve an infinite God. The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is the God of Mark, Andy and Rob. The God of David of Bethlehem is the God of David of West Chester. He hasn’t changed and He is no closer to His end than He was when He created the world.

As parents of children that hold the potential to stretch our finitude into the next couple generations, we have a choice to make. Will we train our children to stretch our finitude or to proclaim God’s infinity? Will we raise them to proclaim our legacy or God’s? Will they be better known as sons and daughters of Rob or sons and daughters of God?

Children are a gift. And we will send that gift on as a time capsule to the future. When the future opens it, will it find artifacts of a time gone by or will it find the living Word within them?

That all depends. Will we commit to stretch our finitude? Or will we commit to God’s infinity? I suggest this: that we as a church send our children into the future beyond us firmly committed to God’s infinity. That we set aside our aspirations for a personal legacy and entrust it to God. That our thoughts of what our children say about us be traded in for thoughts of what our children say about God. That God’s infinity become a preoccupying parental thought each day. We will have all of eternity to enjoy the fruit of such a commitment.

90 Candles

2008-12-04T06:00:00.000-05:00

Billy Graham recently celebrated his 90th birthday. He was born when Woodrow Wilson was president and World War One was coming to an end. He has lived a long life. But it isn’t simply the number of his days that is worthy of attention, but how Billy has numbered his days.
In a recent interview he described his view on growing old.

Someone said to me recently that the most exciting part of his day was waking up and discovering what was hurting today that didn't hurt yesterday! Sometimes I can relate to that. But seriously, I'm thankful for each day, and I'm thankful for the measure of health I do have. Every day is a gift from God, no matter how old we are.

Here is a man who once traveled the world, preached the gospel to more than two billion people and counseled presidents, but can now rarely leave his home due to multiple hip replacements, prostate cancer and Parkinson’s disease. He remains grateful for the health he has and considers every day a gift. His words and example convict me.

I've discovered that just because we'll inevitably grow weaker physically as we get older, it doesn't mean we must grow weaker spiritually. In fact, we ought to be growing stronger spiritually, because our eyes ought to be on eternity and Heaven—on the things that really matter.

There’s his secret. The decline of our physical life does not mean our spiritual life must decline. In fact, aging is a tool God uses to bring death into view so that we see beyond death to eternity and Heaven. This should have a wonderful, sanctifying effect on our attitude towards aging. Consider how Billy turns weakness of old age into strength.

One of the things I miss most is that I can no longer read, due to age-related macular degeneration… it is hard for me to pick up my Bible and read it like I used to, and I miss that very much. But I probably pray as much now as at any time in my life, if not more—not just definite times of prayer, but all during the day.

This is a vivid picture of the heart of wisdom that Moses petitioned God for in Psalm 90. It comes from the ‘numbering of days.’

As I've looked at my own life, and the lives of others, I've come to realize that the time to prepare for old age isn't when it arrives. By then it may be too late. The time to prepare for old age emotionally and spiritually is before it hits us.

How am I preparing for old age – and eternity beyond? How are you? May our answers be similar to our mission as a church: Treasuring, Proclaiming and Growing in Christ until that day when we see Him face to face.

Happy birthday Billy, and thank you.

The Best is Yet to Come

2008-12-03T06:00:00.001-05:00

On November 18th, Gina and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary. Like birthdays and New Years, anniversaries offer a time to reflect on a variety of things. One thing that both of us have been pondering is how much greater our love is now than it was 13 years ago. Oh, we were in love then, but the love is more pervasive now…more encompassing…more tangible…more real.

And so you can understand my initial disappointment when reading Matthew 22:30:

For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.

I quite enjoy my relationship with my wife…and we’re still depraved sinners. I could get very excited thinking of our marriage in the absence of sin, or signs of aging, or diminishing cisterns of energy. Marriage in heaven would be incredible! But, according to Matthew (and Mark and Luke), Jesus disagrees.

I’m comforted that the scholar who penned the ESV Study Bible notes for the Gospel According to Matthew understands my plight.

This teaching might at first seem discouraging to married couples who are deeply in love with each other in this life, but surely people will know their loved ones in heaven (cf. 8:11; Luke 9:30, 33), and the joy and love of close relationships in heaven will be more rather than less than it is here on earth. Jesus' reference to “the power of God” suggests that God is able to establish relationships of even deeper friendship, joy, and love in the life to come. God has not revealed anything more about this, though Scripture indicates that the eternal glories awaiting the redeemed will be more splendid than anyone can begin to ask or think (cf. 1 Cor. 2:9; Eph. 3:20).

This causes me to stop and listen to what I’m actually saying. I’m saying that a discovery about Heaven disappoints me. That somehow, from my very limited, very temporal, very sin-stained perspective, what we have now will be superior to what God has for us in eternity.

And then it hits me. Not only is my thinking of the joys of Heaven limited, but my thinking about marriage is limited, too. The very thing that marriage is meant to depict will be a fully-realized reality in Heaven. My entire relationship with Gina, and yours with your spouse, will be fulfilled. And, once fulfilled, God has something even better in mind for the redeemed. What that could be is very hard for me to imagine as what He has currently given is so incredible.

In the end, I’m reminded of another truth that humbles me. I am often very guilty of thinking too small. My eyes can focus on the now, especially when the now is either really bad…or really good.

John Piper nails it in his new book, This Momentary Marriage, when he says:

There never has been a generation whose general view of marriage is high enough. The chasm between the biblical vision of marriage and the common human vision is now, and has always been, gargantuan.

The infinite God is infinitely kind to His weak, small-minded, finite creation. In our failure to view marriage highly enough, He allows us to enjoy real love…real fellowship…real companionship…in this momentary marriage. That’s kindness.

So, I will look forward to Heaven with eyes of faith that God has something more grand for His redeemed than my small mind can handle. And to my lovely wife Gina, I have one thing to say…ENJOY ME WHILE YOU GOT ME!

Following the Thread

2008-12-02T06:00:00.000-05:00

Beauty has a magnetic affect. A gorgeous sunset, a powerful piece of music, great art—they draw us in. The longing in our souls for something higher, better, unlike ourselves, primes us to want more of it. But if I’m not careful, they can draw me into the thing itself instead of into its author, the Eternal God. The emotions and longings the roaring ocean evokes in me can lead me to become a lover of nature, rather than a lover of God. The inspiration that floods the soul after a good play or a great book or a lovely song can make me a lover of theater or literature or music—only. My temporal nature gets lazy and stops at the creation instead of following the golden thread back to its Source, the Master Creator, Singer, Writer, Composer. God is the source of all joy.

A friend and I were commenting on the media’s growing ability to control our emotions. Our conversation turned toward the widely acclaimed Lord of the Rings movie trilogy. The majestic, almost magical quality surrounding the character of Aragorn in Lord of the Rings attracts us. There is something right in the royalty this earthy man carries in his veins. Hollywood has done its job well to portray something utterly convincing and attractive to us.

But do we trace the thread? Do those majestic, triumphant feelings meet us again in our times with the Lord the next morning? Do we marvel that no beauty on earth is unsurpassed in heaven? Does our breath quicken as we consider that the magic and mystery of Tolkien’s characters are paper dolls compared to the blazing glory of our God? Did the slashing royal sword bearing the name Sting raise our adrenaline in the theater seat? Sting would crumble to pieces before the sword described in Revelation, wielded by the One called Faithful and True. He is the Rider of the white horse, whose eyes are a flame of fire and who is crowned with many crowns, the one who is followed by all the armies of heaven.

I’m always grateful for the reminders that Jesus is not an androgynous figure in a white gown surrounded by lambs. He’s not a good luck charm or a wise teacher or a distant deity. He is fearful and beautiful, holy and glorious. And amazingly, He has descended from his throne to purchase my hopeless soul, declaring me not only a subject, but a sister, an heir, a beloved.

The most powerful emotion, longing, joy, or inspiration, is a long-cast shadow from heaven, meant to point us to the Beautiful One.

Why Thinking About Eternity Makes My Brain Hurt

2008-12-01T06:00:00.002-05:00

Bloggers Note: This week the Family Life Blog is looking at our finiteness against the backdrop of God’s Infinity. Let God be Big!

Did you ever tell yourself, ‘I need to think about eternity more’. So you close your eyes and begin to ponder the great timelessness…and then wake up half an hour later having dreamed about eating cheeseburgers? Well, maybe its just me.

In his small classic Redemption, Accomplished and Applied, John Murray offers some reality check on our confidence that we can ponder eternal existence.

“We cannot think in terms of eternity; we have no eternal thought. Only God’s thought possesses that attribute because he alone is eternal. When we try to think of eternity we realize the limits of our understanding and we are reminded that eternity is incomprehensible to us. But we must think of eternity and think of it in such a way that the more we are aware of the limits of our understanding the more enhanced becomes our appreciation of the marvel of God’s eternal purpose and grace.” (Redemption Accomplished and Applied, 92)

Do you see the helpful wisdom he is giving? We can’t think eternal thoughts – our imaginations are bound by the time realities this side of heaven. We can ponder; we can wonder, but we can’t grasp eternity. But rather than discouraging us, these limits should fuel our worship of the One who is Eternal – and the one whose purpose and grace is to one day introduce our puny minds to first hand experience of timeless joy!

The Only Real Parenting Killer

2008-11-28T06:00:00.000-05:00

Editor’s Note: On November 9th, Marty Machowski preached a message called “Distinct Parenting” at Sovereign Grace Church in Middletown, Delaware. The entire message can be found here. An encouraging and instructive excerpt is below. As you read, notice the Spirit of God at work in your heart in both conviction and encouragement. Every parent ought to experience both.

Deut 6:5 "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart."

This is both the most sobering and comforting of any parent teaching you will ever get. If you get this one point right, you can fail in the rest of your parenting and your children will have all that they need. That is how critical this is. The reason why is because if your relationship with the Lord is vibrant and strong, you've got the Spirit of God to convict you in all the other areas. None of us are perfect. And it's actually those imperfections, if directed under the gaze of the Gospel and repentance that are our best tutors for our children. So often we can find ourselves thinking things like: "I just want to do really good at raising my children, but I haven't always done a great job spending a lot of time with them. Or I want to read to my children, but I haven't always done that well either. Or I just was a lousy teacher when I homeschooled my kids—or I never went over their homework." We can think things like, "I've broken a lot of promises."

Our mistakes are opportunities. If we love the Lord, our successes in life and in parenting will tell our children "God's grace is sufficient." If we love the Lord in front of them, all of our successes will be translated into "Do you understand? I have this because God has given it to me. My success is not of my own strength. It is the grace of God. And that communicates to our children, "Christianity works!" But if I love the Lord and I fail, well then I confess my sin and I receive forgiveness. And so for example, if I sin against my wife and out of my love for the Lord I restore quickly my relationship with her, I am a failure as a husband in that moment when I sinned, but my children don't see failure, they see hope. We must remember, if we love the Lord, our successes communicate the grace of God; and our failures communicate the grace of God. And so if you get this point right--if this is the only point you get right in your parenting, get this right.

Our indifference to God is the only killer. If we fail to be stirred up toward godliness and to pursuing God, what testimony do we have to pass along? If we are indifferent to sin and we fail to repent and confess, we have no credibility in the eyes of our children. They see us as hypocrites. Hypocrites are not ones who say one thing and do another if when they do the other, they realize that they are wrong and confess that they strayed. That's not a hypocrite. A hypocrite is to say one thing, do another and be indifferent to care.

I Second that Devotion

2008-11-27T06:00:00.000-05:00

The situation is pretty familiar. The time is well after dinner, and my kids are buzzing around. “OK guys, time to get ready for bed.” My mind drifts to that moment when they will all be quietly tucked in, with lights out, so that I can grab a few strategic minutes to get something else done. Things typically move more slowly than I would like, and I start to feel the fatigue of the day. With PJ’s on and teeth brushed, I announce, “Alright, hop in bed and turn your lights out.” A voice comes back, “What about family devotions, Dad?”

Oh yeah. Resisting the temptation to pretend I didn’t hear, I gather the kids up so we can share the Word of God and prayer together. The time together takes us later than I would have liked, but it is sweet, and I walk away reflecting a bit.

First, I remember that time in the Word of God with their father is the primary means of grace that my kids have. Some of them can’t read yet, and even when they do they wind up with so many questions. What an amazing privilege it is to lead them gently toward Christ and Him crucified as God’s answer to our greatest need.

Second, I think of how kind it is of God to supply us Dads with so many resources for leading our children into grace and truth. It makes it so much easier to get started each night. When we are not doing God’s Story by Marty Machowski, my kids and I are currently going through Randy Alcorn’s book, Heaven for Kids. My oldest can’t wait for these times, because there are so many references to Narnia, which she loves. I usually let her read these sections. Not only Narnia, but also Alcorn’s vivid illustrations, make it easy to draw kids into a discussion of eternal things. We’ve read other great stuff, plenty of which is in the church bookstore, like Big Truths for Little Kids or Dangerous Journey.

Third, I realize that we are building a routine into our kids’ lives. I don’t mean something mechanical. When we give our kids hugs on the way out the door for work, or just before bed, they come to expect hugs. They will come to expect regular interaction with God too, if we make this a regular pattern when they’re young.

Fourth, I think of how we Dads are called to provide for our kids. Sure, I love to provide fun parks and wholesome entertainment when I can, but the most lasting contribution I’ll ever make is inspiration. I don’t want to dazzle them with HD; I want to dazzle them with God! My kids have been inspired by seeing God’s grace at work in David Livingstone, as he courageously wrestles a lion with his bare hands…or in Harriet Tubman, as she absorbs incredible personal cost to go back to the pre-Civil War South time and again to rescue slaves. Best of all, we talk about the King of Glory, who incarnated as a son of man, offering up his body and soul, so that we could become sons of God!

Lastly, I realize that the effect of all this is slow but cumulative. If we keep leading our kids this way, little by little, we build a legacy. Even now I see glimpses of this at the dinner table when a child makes a connection between one of the bad guys that Christian faces in Dangerous Journey, and his own temptations.

I finish reflecting on these things, and head back downstairs. Freshly inspired myself, I keep those devotions coming.

Knowing the State of the Union

2008-11-26T06:00:00.001-05:00

I hate roofs. No, not the concept of roofs…I’m thankful for that. I just hate being on roofs. From the second my foot touches a shingle to the second it touches the earth, I feel like I’m going to fall. (Thankfully, we now have a rancher…very kind of God.)

Shortly after we moved into our previous home, a friend asked me what the condition of the roof was. I assured him everything was okay. Of course, as you might have guessed, I had never been up there. But there were no leaks, no draft problems, so everything must be okay. However, to truly know the condition of the roof, actually going up and looking at it might be a good place to start.

So, let me be that friend to you…how’s your marriage? “No leaks…no draft problems…it must be okay.” However, just like a roof, if you wait for problematic symptoms to arise, the fix is so much harder and the damage so much greater. How much better to know about a problem before it finds you.

Knowing the state of your marital union is an important protection in all marriages. This requires a few simple, but crucial, elements:

- Scheduled Communication: Set up 3-4 evenings spread throughout the year for the sole purpose of discussing the state of your union. The same questions each time can serve in fresh ways, since no marriage is exactly the same even three months later. Or, pick four main topics and cover just one topic each evening. Topics such as communication, family schedule, intimacy, and parenting can serve as conversation starters.

- Humility: Each of you needs to be prepared to share some potentially difficult things with your spouse. The degree of your humility in sharing will often determine how well it is received. Also, you need to be prepared to hear some hard things about places where you may be falling short. Accepting that you are quite capable of falling short (and may be really good at it in some areas) will serve your marriage.

- In-Between Conversations: It’s not good to save ALL of your constructive marital conversation for these special times. A culture of open communication as a standard part of marital life will go a long way in helping the state of your union remain good. This requires an atmosphere where it is safe to share. Humility fits perfectly here.

Two closing thoughts.

Guys, the impetus for this rests on you. As the God-appointed leader, it will be you to whom God looks for an answer to the state of your union. Open up your calendars and make room for the most important earthly relationship you have.

Ladies, even though the onus rests on the men, you have been given to him as a helper. Guys as flawed as we are need to know when we are drifting, or missing it altogether. You have a front row seat to the state of your union. Tell your husband, in humility of course, where you feel a conversation or a time of prayer would be helpful.

Each year, the President of the United States longs to be able to say that the state of the union “is good.” Such ought to be our goal. Our calling is higher and our union more important. Though the government is given to us as provision from God, our marriages reflect His relationship with His church. With the stakes as high as that, it is important that we know the state of the union.

Random Acts of Hospitality

2008-11-25T06:00:00.000-05:00

I'm not a very spontaneous person. My husband on the other hand is Mr. Spontaneity himself. So when it comes to hospitality, we don’t always start out in the same place.

When I think of hospitality, I think of contacting the people we want to have over and putting a date on the calendar for some time in the future. Or, if I really want to challenge my spontaneous side, I'll prepare on Saturday and then "spontaneously" ask someone over on Sunday morning.

Jeff, however, has begun a new trend. For the second time, in what I perceive as the second of many, Jeff turned to me at the end of the church service and said, "What are we having for lunch today? I want to invite this couple in front of us home for lunch." (May I add a couple we've never met?) A petrified feeling came over me as I answered, "Uh, maybe Ramen noodles?" thinking also of the shambles we left our house in that morning. Jeff sensing my distress (maybe by the color that drained from my face) said, "What about dessert instead?"

As the service closed, Jeff tapped the young couple sitting in front of us, introduced himself, and then asked them if they wanted to come to our house for dessert later in the evening. When they asked what they could bring, he simply said - your testimonies.

Lately we've been sensing the need to be more intentional in our practice of hospitality. We want to engage our guests together as a family and draw our kids into the conversations. We also want to focus a portion of our time to listening to how the Lord is working in the lives of others.

After playing a game with this young couple as a family, our guests each shared their testimony. One son of ours, in particular, was touched and was able to relate to the young man's journey. The Lord used this random act of hospitality to speak into his life just when he needed it most. And, we don't yet know the effect that this couple's testimonies along with the others that have been shared in our home have had in the lives of our other kids.

So recently when I saw Jeff talking to yet another young couple (whom I didn't know) at a wedding, I knew what was coming. "What are we doing tomorrow night?” Jeff asked me. "I just invited them over for dessert."

There is nothing wrong with planning for times of hospitality (I have several dates on the calendar), but may I encourage you to be open to spontaneously inviting people into your home even if it's just for dessert? And don't forget to ask them to bring their testimonies.

Sometimes Wisdom Smacks You in the Face

2008-11-24T06:00:00.000-05:00

On these Monday posts I like to try to put things in that are crafted bits of wisdom that require us to mentally chew on them to get the effect. But this one below is simply good truth from an oft told but reliably true story. Get ready for a soul adjustment.

An eminent and well-known English preacher was approached by a congregation member who complained about some aspect of church life. It may have been that he didn't feel welcomed, or that he was finding it hard to make friends and fit in; it could have been that he was finding the service dissatisfying or the preaching too long; it could have been that the music was not to his taste or that his family was not being catered for to his satisfaction. The details of the complaint have been lost in the telling and re-telling of the story.

The preacher listened to the complaint, paused, and then replied with five words that cut straight to the heart of not only the man's problem, but the problem with all grumbling and complaining in church. He simply said, “It's not about you, stupid!” and walked off.

It was a stunningly rude response—the kind that this preacher seemed uniquely capable of getting away with in his very English way. But doesn't it exactly express what is wrong with grumbling and complaining in church?

It really is the height of idiocy to think that church is about me and my needs and my family and my satisfaction. It completely overturns the teaching of the Bible—that church is about God and Christ and loving other people. In fact, if we wanted to summarize Paul's rebuke to the dysfunctional Corinthian church in 1 Corinthians 11-14, a pretty reasonable slogan would be “It's not about you, stupid!”.

Guess what? Pastors grumble about church too – and we actually create and oversee the things we complain about! So this is great advice the next time I’m looking at a week full of meetings or an inbox full of emails. Or anytime I’m tempted to complain.

“It’s not about you, stupid!

Full credit for where I found this is in Tony Payne’s blog ‘The Sola Panel”. Here’s his full blog: The five-word antidote to grumbling

Loving Your Teen

2008-11-21T06:00:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday Rob spoke from 1 John 4:7-12 on the essentiality of love as the mark of our assurance. In our Extra Point to parents, we talked about how parents can apply the call of love to parenting teens.

What makes it difficult to love our teens? Perhaps we are approaching the task as if we need some special grace that hasn’t already come to us in Christ. It’s like it somehow takes a new dimension of love to just endure the teen years. But John helps us to see that we love because he first loved us. In other words, love isn’t dispensed to us based on our situational need. God is love; to have him is to have love in its fullness – all the time.

Perhaps one way we can keep ‘love for my teens’ out of the realm of the exceptional is to see how similar it is to the other most significant, and often most challenging context we have – love for our spouse. Consider:

1. In marriage and in raising teens we tend to compare our experience with an idealized or romanticized assumption of what we should expect.

Where do we get our ideals of marriage and family from? From comparison with somebody else? With some cultural standard? With how we grew up?
Do you have a clear sense of biblical vision for your family that evaluates every other ideal that finds its way into the family?

2. In marriage and in parenting teens we tend to focus on feeling loved, not on loving others.

Teenage immaturity involves the idea that what I feel and what I think are so overlapping as to be indistinguishable. As parents, we are mature; we should not be that way. We should battle our tendency to let feelings drive our parenting by obedience to God’s word.
You can tell how much feelings drive our definition of love by we deal with conflict. If we truly love, we will do the hard work of peacemaking.

3. In marriage and in parenting teens we can assume that trust and respect are necessary for love. We can withdraw affection if we don’t receive respect, or if we don’t think we can trust our teens.

In reality respect and trust are fruits of love, not foundations for it. Untrustworthiness and disrespectfulness are sins of character before they are sins of relationship. Love means we will address disrespect and untrustworthiness because they are sins against God and will produce bad fruit in our teen’s life. But love will not demand them – love seeks not its own.
What would your relationship with your teen look like if you didn’t demand respect and trustworthiness as essential for your relationship?

4. In marriage and in parenting teens, bad past experiences can lead to judgments that define our relationship.

Adults change very slowly, but teens are changing very fast. If we allow bad experiences of even a few weeks ago to shape our present relationship we will never keep up with what is going on in our teens. Rather than assume that our teen’s bad attitude right now is what will define them, why not address it as something that God is at work changing in them.
What would happen if you interacted with your teen as if mercies were new every morning for them, not just for you?

Bottom line – Loving our teens should be familiar to us because it takes the same grace to love them as it takes to love anyone else.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. (1 John 4:7)

The Addict in Us All

2008-11-20T06:00:00.003-05:00

This past weekend a number of the pastors, and some of the other folks in the church, attended the annual conference sponsored by The Christian Counseling and Education Foundation (CCEF). This year the theme was “The Addict in Us All”. It was an outstanding time of instruction on a biblical understanding of addictions and how God works to free people from addictive behaviors. We learned that ‘addictions’ are complicated and life-controlling habits that root, not primarily in our genetic disposition or social environment, but in our idolatrous hearts.

As you can see from the conference title, we also learned that there is not as much difference between the normal Christian and the out-of-control addict. As David Powlison remarked, "Addiction and Religion are words that are defined in very similar ways. Both communicate devotion to something that shapes our lives and defines our pursuits and commitments."

I spent much of the time pondering my own idolatrous and addictive tendencies. Here are some things I heard that the Lord used to go after my self-sufficient and self-righteous heart, by reminding me that there is nothing ‘addiction-proof in me. See if you can identify with me:

Ed Welch, biblical counselor and neurobiologist: ‘Commitment to a lie becomes voluntary slavery.’

What lies about me and God do I tolerate that in fact leads to me submitting myself to voluntary slavery to something that isn’t true?

Mark Driscoll, pastor of a church that ministers to an urban area where addictions are a basic reality of life: We not only seek after false gods, we set up false heavens, places where we can live in personal peace, untainted by the sin around us. When we are in our personal heaven, we are ok if everyone else is living in hell.

What are the little ‘heaven cocoons’ I set up in life where I escape into myself away from others and their suffering in the reality of life?

Mark Driscoll: People who struggle with addiction are usually aware of the effects of their sin on others, but can have difficulty in seeing the effect of sin on God.

When I sin, do I keep things on a horizontal level, clean up the mess and try to get past my ‘stumble’ as quick as possible? Or do I realize that I can’t presume that God will cover my sin if I never acknowledge it is against him?

Mike Emlet, Biblical Counselor and Medical Doctor: Physiological issues of addiction include pleasure achievement (something makes me feel good, or keeps me from feeling bad), dependence (need for the drug to avoid withdrawal), tolerance (need of greater quantities to achieve same effect), and withdrawal (bodily reaction to the absence of the drug.

Isn’t this essentially what happens in my life? For example, when I’m driving in the car and get bored with the silence (usually by the time I get out of my driveway), do I crank on the radio by habit, so I can stop being bored (pleasure/pain avoidance drive)? Do I feel the need to have the radio on every time I’m in the car (dependence)? Am I willing to tolerate listening to things that might not be spiritually edifying because the stuff I used to listen to is boring to me now (tolerance)? If someone else is in the car and would rather talk, do I keep looking at the radio hoping they get tired of talking (withdrawal)? How many other areas would I show myself to be at least a minor league addict?

Jeff Black, Biblical Counselor, Psychologist and Pastor specializing in Addictions Counseling. All addictive behaviors work. They give us what we want or feel we need at the point of desire. The issue is ‘at what cost?’

I think this helps me see one of the reasons ‘waiting on the Lord’ is not just something we have to do, but something that is essential to the life of faith. The immediate is the realm of sensual craving; the eventual is the realm of biblical thirst for God.

Our Homes are Never Out of Debt

2008-11-19T06:00:00.001-05:00

With the recent addition of Financial Peace University to our offerings of equipping and outreach, getting out of debt has risen as an important goal in the stewardship of our lives. And rightly so. Freedom from debt is freedom indeed.

But there is a debt we can never get out of…and we ought to stop trying. Though our homes are still full of sinners, many of our homes enjoy ongoing fruit of the gospel. It works its way through our own lives, through our marriages and then through our homes. It grows, despite our efforts, and bears fruit.

Jared’s message this week got me thinking along these lines. How, in our homes, are we vulnerable to drift from the gospel? I think it is a common trap for married Christians to allow the gospel to become secondary. When there is conflict, or when there is a difference of opinion, or when lives somehow begin to grow independent of each other, we can rely on a variety of things…in place of the gospel.

We can rely on our communication skills. If we just say something in the right way, or at the right time, things will be okay.

We can rely on our debating skills. Resolution is not the key, it is victory.

We can rely on our selfishness. As long as my way is the winner in the end, the means are justified and don’t much matter.

But most dangerously, we can rely on peace. If we just allow peace to be the governing body in our home, we’re a happy and “godly” family.

What happened to the gospel? And what has happened that has caused us to credit its fruit these lesser gods?

The gospel is the great leveler. It makes all other things, without exception, secondary. The joy we may experience in marriage is not because of our skill or our gifting…it is because of the gospel. The victories we’ve experienced over trials are not because of our fortitude, but because of the gospel.

Charles Spurgeon once said:

If there is anything that is a miniature picture of heaven upon earth, it is a pair of Christians happily united, whose children grow up in the fear of the Lord, and render to them increased comfort and joy every day. Oh, how much some of us owe to the gospel for the happiness of our homes!

And so, today, no practical tips will be given for marriage. They have their place, but not here today. Today, we turn our attention to gratitude. Sincere thanks for the fruit of the gospel in our marriages. For the fact that we have a spouse. For the fact that our spouse would even have us in marriage. And for the fact that a holy God, in an immeasurable act of condescension, would choose to reflect His glory in such a flawed example as our marriage. Truly and only God could do that. How glorious to belong to our spouse…and to our God who gives the unceasing, fruit-bearing gospel.

On the Ideal Woman

2008-11-18T06:00:00.000-05:00

I am a regular reader of the blog Girltalk which is written by Carolyn Mahaney and her married daughters- Nicole, Kristen and Janelle. On October 6, 2008 their post was entitled “The Ideal Woman.” In my sin, I thought, oh yeah, here is my nemesis- that Proverbs 31 woman. I have been married over 28 years and have been a believer for longer than that; how much more can I read about her? But because I am so regularly provoked in my walk by what they post, I kept reading. Here are a couple of snippets from that first day:

She’s strong; she’s wise; she’s godly. And she’s intimidating.

For that reason, we sometimes avoid the Proverbs 31 woman! If we were at a party with characters from the Bible, most of us would probably rather hang out with some of the more “flawed” women: Sarah who laughed at God’s promises, or Rebekah who was deceptive, or Martha who was rebuked by our Lord.

The very next day, their post was titled The Proverbs 31 Wife.- She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12). Here is what Nicole said on that day:

“Doing Your Husband Good” wouldn’t play well on the cover of a woman’s magazine these days. In the aftermath of the feminist movement, motherhood has made a comeback, and even domesticity has regained popularity, but the role of a wife as portrayed in the Bible remains repulsive.

Kristen shared the following a few days later: First, take a look--Who is the one designed and appointed to bring my husband good? It’s none other then me! Many people may be a blessing to my husband, but as his wife, I have been created, fashioned and designed to be the most effective at bringing my husband good.”

Why is this important? They go on to show how our doing good to our husbands is a powerful display of the Gospel to a fallen world.

Already the Lord was at work in my own heart. He was gently bringing back to my mind, my husband’s comment from last night about how he likes all the window blinds open or how he really liked it better when I hang his shirts a certain way. At the time, in my sinful heart, I was thinking- yeah, yeah- it is really just a preference issue, but the Lord began to show me how in the little things I was not doing my husband good.

Ladies- if you are like me, I need a provoking reminder of what the Word has called me to do. It is so easy with all of the many things in our lives as women- motherhood, housework, Biblical fellowship, serving in the church, reaching out to our neighbors, caring for our parents etc to lose sight of what our first priority is!

Girltalk offered some great perspective on how to do our husbands good for a lot of different marriage situations. Here are just a few examples: A Woman of Action, Good with Her Gifts (even if it is Laundry)’; ‘Doing Good In a Difficult Marriage’; and ‘When I Don’t Want to Do Him Good’. They are even compiling a list of creative ways to do our husbands good!

Let’s take a moment as wives to ask the Lord to help us be doers of His Word. Take some time over the next few days to read the posts at Girltalk and allow the Lord to give you some ideas of ways that you can grow as a Proverbs 31 wife. Whether you are newly married or married for many, many years, I know that the Lord will be faithful as He has been with me to give you creative ways to do “your husband good.”

See God in Love

2008-11-17T06:00:00.000-05:00

Saturday night Rob Flood spoke to the Cross Culture Youth from 1 John 4:7-12. He brought out a very helpful perspective from verse 12: No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us.

Here’s some of what Rob said,

“When Christ was here, God’s love was manifest through Him. He ascended and sent His Spirit, so now He lives in us. He abides in us. His love can be manifest though us. The love with which Christ loved is available to us now. With God Himself living in us, we are now the vehicles of God’s love to the world. He who lives in us loves through us.

By our loving one another, God is making the invisible God visible. God is love, and He manifests His love in us. The God who lives in us loves through us.

In his systematic theology, Robert Culver underscores this truth:

“Our love for God and other people is both evidence and fruit of God’s indwelling presence in us and is the means God uses to reveal His holiness and love to the world.” Robert Duncan Culver p.103

It’s not that Jesus loves us, so we have to love others. It is that we love others because God is in us…and God is love. God’s heart is to manifest Himself through His love…through us. We become an active player in the process of God being made manifest in the world.

He who lives in us loves through us. If His love is not coming through us, we must visit the first part…is He living in us? It is the very reason John said in verse 7, “whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” If the love of God flows through a man, then God lives in that man. If the love of God flows through a woman, then God lives in that woman. God’s love demands a way and manifests itself through how His people love one another.

So, that difficult person you work with…That family member who constantly rubs you the wrong way…That parent (or that child) that you’re certain won’t ever understand you…That friend who wronged you, and maybe doesn’t even know it…How do you love him? How do you love her?

First of all, understand and take comfort in the fact that you’re not in it alone. God is with you. But He’s not standing on the sideline like a coach hoping the players can pull it off this time. He’s not a cheering Dad in the crowd. He is there with you, empowering you, giving you the love you’ll need to carry out the call He’s placed on your life to love others.”

Why is this possible? Because of verse 10.

In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

You can listen to the entire message here in a few days.

Enjoying a Dirty Manger

2008-11-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

From the time I get home from work to the time the children go to bed, our house is a constant ball of motion. From loud and boisterous greetings of Dad’s homecoming to preparing for dinner, to eating dinner, to bedtime routines, to reading, to tucking in, the pace can give a healthy person whiplash. Then, as we settle into the night, we realize just how many toys, crafts, and socks have not been put away. (What is it with socks, anyway?)

Just the other night, I was commenting to Gina about the children’s mess when she quoted me Proverbs 14:4.

Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.

I have to admit, I did not at first see the relevance. However, resting in my confidence in Gina’s spiritual acumen, I thought a bit harder.

Oxen are messy…and stinky, too. If your goal is a clean manger, then “no oxen” is the way to go. However, if your goal is a clean manger you’ll miss all of the blessings that come with oxen.

Here is the parallel for those not yet tracking with me.

Where there are no children, the house is clean, but abundant blessings come through the gift of children.

Children are messy…and sometimes stinky, too. If your goal is a clean house, then “no children” is the way to go. However, once you’ve achieved your clean house, you will miss all of the blessings that come with children.

So, the next time you are overwhelmed with the clutter created by your little ones, or the preponderance of socks strewn about the house, remember how to interpret them. They are small signs that point to a great blessing in your home. They are little love notes from God reminding you of how He loves you and has expressed that love through the gift of the little oxen that fill your home.

And when your heart of hearts wants nothing more than a clean manger, go and kiss the oxen on the head. After that, their stinky mess won’t seem so bad.

Directionally Challenged, Yet Grateful

2008-11-13T06:00:00.000-05:00

Some guys I know really get into driving. You may know some, too. If you’ve gone on a road trip with them, they’re the guys who print out the maps, use a highlighter to show the routes you’ll take, and you can pretty much forget about leading the caravan. They’re out in front of that baby, hands down. I’m not that guy. I love that guy. I’m grateful when I drive with or behind that guy; I’m just not that guy. In fact, that guy probably would get easily angered if I tried to be that guy.

One of the first memories my wife and I shared together was when we went to Georgia for my college graduation. After a great weekend of celebrating, we planned to catch our return flight from Atlanta to Philadelphia. The Atlanta airport, we were told, was notorious for having long lines and we were encouraged to get there early. We left plenty of time to drive the airport, drop off our rental car and get to our gate for boarding. As we were driving to the airport reminiscing about the weekend it dawned on my wife that it had been a while since she had seen anything but farmland.

“If the airport’s in Atlanta, shouldn’t we be seeing skyscrapers or at least some large buildings by now?”

She then quickly got out the map and found that we had been traveling a good 45 minutes in the wrong direction. I’d love to tell you at this point that this was my one and only major driving catastrophe. It would be great to report that since this pleasant-turned-panic attack trip to the Atlanta airport I’ve not once made such stupid mistakes. The problem is I’d be flat out lying if I did.

It would be truthful, however, to say that my wife has made very few driving blunders. She is great with directions and I am convinced that I’ve become a better driver because of her. She also happens to be the person in my life that God has used most profoundly to teach me about grace. From her I have received incredible love, patience, and mercy which can only be attributed to the grace of God at work in her life. She helps me to be a better father, a better son and brother, a better friend, and ultimately a better servant of Christ. In my wife God has given to me a daily, flesh and bones reminder that “every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17).

As the men of Covenant Fellowship Church let us express gratitude to God for the gifts He has given to us in our wives. We should consider the ways our lives are enriched, balanced, and enjoyed because of the grace of God that comes daily to us through our wives. And may we always trace the blessing of our spouse back to the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, which purchased for us every good thing from the hand of God.

The Key Ingredient

2008-11-12T06:00:00.000-05:00

Everyday in our home, Gina is called to the same task, multiple times. She is called to respond out of mercy and not out of revenge. She is called to live with this sinning husband and look favorably upon him, loving him despite the sin she sees. She is called to have mercy in marriage…and mercy for marriage.

The word “mercy” is defined as follows: compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or other person in one's power.

Note the ingredients required for mercy. First, there must be an offending person. Someone has to do something wrong. Second, there must be an offended person. This is the person that the offending person offended. Then, the offended person must add the last ingredient of compassion. So the equation looks like this:

Offender + Offended + Compassion = Mercy

We’ve all been the offender, so we’ve got that one covered. Recalling a time when I offended someone, my wife in particular, is not a difficult task.

We’ve all been offended, so we’ve got that one covered, too. Think back to the last time it happened to you. As I think back, I don’t have to go very far for that one either.

Even with the Offender and the Offended in place, however, we do not yet have mercy. Look again at the equation…we’re missing the final ingredient. Now, if the Offended brings the final ingredient of anger, the equation comes out differently.

Offender + Offended + Anger = Revenge

If the Offended brings the final ingredient of self pity, we have yet another equation:

Offender + Offended + Self Pity = Victim

But, if the Offended brings the final ingredient of compassion, now we’re cooking:

Offender + Offended + Compassion = Mercy

We would do well, as spouses, to consider not how often we’ve received offense but just how often we’ve given offense. And not just offending our spouse, but our God, who has never been the offender and yet has boundless mercy upon us.

The LORD is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.
Psalm 145:9

As married sinners desiring to extend the mercy of God, how can we grow in mercy? How can we apply to our spouse the mercy we’ve received?

Marriage and the Mercy of God is a Sovereign Grace regional conference created to help us achieve this very goal. And registration for this conference is coming to a close. Though the event is in January, the registration closes on November 30th. If you’re interested in registering, visit the website by going to mercy4marriage.org

Richard Sibbes, in his book The Bruised Reed, wrote:

It would be a good contest amongst Christians, one to labour to give no offence, and the other to labour to take none. The best men are severe to themselves, tender over others."

So, whether you register for and attend the conference or not, let’s take part in the good contest of laboring to give no offense, laboring to take none, and laboring, finally, to look severely upon our own tendency to offend and tenderly upon others’ tendency to offend.

And, don’t forget to bring the compassion…it is the key ingredient.

Uprooting those Weeds!

2008-11-11T06:00:00.000-05:00

A little fable of this past summer.

I took a good look at my front yard, and the weeds were doing a splendid job at what they do. I knew I needed to get in there soon and clear them out. It’s a hot, tiring, and back-breaking job - not one of my favorite things to do! But God had an additional weeding assignment for me that day as well. Let me explain. I had a coffee date with my oldest daughter, Sarah. As we sat down, we both knew we might touch on a recurring topic upon which we disagreed. And so we did very shortly. We talked amiably, but the tension mounted. There seemed to be no bridge in sight. I felt as though I had some wisdom that she needed, so I continued to press my point and give multiple examples that I thought would persuade her. When that didn’t work, I pulled out the “I am still your mother” card and wielded my authority. That kind of shut things down as one would expect, so we left Starbucks quiet and at odds.

I discussed the matter with my husband when I got home and let down my guard a little more. Consequently, my anger became more noticeable, and I even turned it towards him at certain moments. I went to bed troubled, and the next morning during my devotions I was still angry. As I sat there, Bible in hand, a muscle spasm went down my neck and back like a tightened rubber band. Now I was in pain and angry! I cried out to the Lord for help and his forgiving and enabling grace.

Later that day, I was reading the book, "Uprooting Anger", by Robert D. Jones, and I came to the well-known passage in James 4:1 “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” My passions, or as Jones calls them “ruling desires,” were at the root of my anger. In this case, I wanted – or rather demanded – Sarah’s agreement and eager compliance. It wasn’t so much that my desire itself was wrong. I truly still believe that I was offering her biblical wisdom. It’s just that this desire for her to embrace that wisdom and change accordingly had become something I could not live without. Jones calls it “God-playing,” which is declaring that “my kingdom has come and my will be done.” In my heart, I was desiring to rule Sarah and the situation, and now ironically this desire was ruling me.

As I read further, I came to the rest of that passage in James, verse 6 “But He gives us more grace” –one of the most wonderful passages in the Bible. So, I prayed for more grace to enable me to submit my desires to the Lord and lay them down before His throne. I claimed one of the prayers in Jones’ book and made it my own, “Lord, I don’t have to have these things. I realize that in Christ I don’t need them, although I often live as though I do. Father, forgive me. Thank you for the blood of Jesus your Son that paid for all my sins...” As Jones suggested, I also took time to meditate and ask myself, “How does God want me to deal with this situation the next time it occurs?” I want to uproot this ruling desire that fuels my anger. Interestingly enough, I did weed my garden that day—uprooting weed after weed. I hope that’s a sign that I’m on the right track.

What are your ruling desires? Does your garden need a little weeding as well? Read James 4, and I heartily recommend Jones’ book. May you find God’s grace abundant as you explore your heart and your garden.

The Gospel…And all its difficulties

2008-11-10T06:00:00.000-05:00

In his classic study of 1 Cor. 13, "Charity and Its Fruits", Jonathan Edwards reminds us that to receive the Gospel is to receive all that comes with it, which can include things we’d rather not accept. The Gospel of grace is a full Gospel – it is the greatest message of joy in the universe, but it is also the deepest message of cost in the universe as well.

"He that does not receive the Gospel with all its difficulties does not receive it as it is proposed to him. He that does not receive Christ with his crosses as well as his crown, does not truly receive him at all. It is true that Christ invites us to come to him to find rest, and to buy wine and milk; but then he also invites us to come and take up the cross, and that daily, and that we may follow him; and if we come only to accept the former, we do not in truth accept the offer of the Gospel, for both go together, the rest and the yoke, the cross and the crown; and it will signify nothing, that, in accepting only the one, we accept what God has never offered to us. They that receive only the easy part of Christianity, and not the difficult, at best are but almost Christians; while they that are wholly Christians receive the whole of Christianity, and thus shall be accepted and honoured, and not cast out with shame, at the last day." (259)
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Meaningful Ministry

2008-11-07T06:00:00.000-05:00

Every group of people has their own vernacular. Here at CFC, we have “observations” that we share with other and “evidences of grace” that we see in each other. We get “released” from meetings and we don’t just say “thanks.” No, we say “thanks for serving.” Before coming to Covenant Fellowship Church, and to Sovereign Grace Ministries, Gina and I walked in different circles. One common phrase in one of those circles was “meaningful ministry.”

You may ask, how could any ministry lack meaning? This, of course, is a good question, but not what they meant. This term applied to mothers. “Meaningful ministry” is what mothers experienced when they left their home and took part in evangelism or discipleship or Bible study. So, the picture was that a mom with young children would have to leave her home, and her children, to go take part in “meaningful ministry.”

I understand where that comes from. It can be far less fulfilling changing diapers or cleaning up the living room floor (for the seventh time) than it does leading someone to Christ or counseling a troubled sister. There is a temptation to see that type of ministry as meaningful and the “home” orientation of a mother’s life as mundane. Or, perhaps, the constancy of home life seems dull compared to the fulfillment that awaits participating in the workforce.

There is nothing quite like an eternal perspective to fix the sorrows or challenges of today. To that end, consider these words from Samuel Rutherford:

How soon will some few years pass away, and then when the day is ended, and this life’s lease expires, what have men of the world’s glory, but dreams and thoughts? O happy soul for evermore, who can rightly compare this life with that long-lasting life to come, and can balance the weighty glory of the one with the light golden vanity of the other.

A time is coming when the golden vanity of this life will pass and we take only the eternal into the life to come. The eyes experience clarity when gazing at what is truly of value as “life’s lease expires.” In that moment, the mundane rigors of home life glisten brightly. Each task done, each nose wiped, each diaper changed, each correction and each discussion serve as bricks. When assembled, they form the lives of our children…the one truly eternal possession we’ve been charged with.

When we lose sight of eternity, the loud, shrill voices of daily urgencies drown eternal perspective…and our faith for it. But, when we view our children as possessers of eternal souls, the weighty glory of the long-lasting life serves as ample motivation for each brick.

According to Samuel Rutherford, the soul that can rightly understand this life compared to that one…this temporal glory compared to that eternal, weighty one…will be a happy soul. And that mother, up to her eye balls in mundane bricks, will find herself surrounded my meaningful ministry…greatly meaningful indeed.

Philly Rephlections

2008-11-06T06:00:00.000-05:00

It’s been a week since I woke up in a world where a Philadelphia sports team has a won a championship. I kind of like the feeling. But I’ve also had a chance to take a breath and consider what will linger with me in years to come. Here are some things that come to mind.

I think the Jamie Moyer story is a great one. As a kid he skipped school to go to the 1980 World Series Championship Parade. Twenty-eight years later he is riding in it himself. By all accounts Moyer is a class guy who seems to have a humble appreciation for the opportunity he has to be playing ball at age 45. Hope he finishes his career here.

Brad Lidge has nerves of steel. He also seems, judging from his comments in the midst of the victory celebration on the field after Game 5, to be a genuine believer. His short, but very natural and sincere, expression of thanks to Jesus Christ in a scene of bedlam got my attention. Interesting how that little video clip doesn’t show up in the network highlights. It does in mine.

Being originally from the Deep South, I actually understand what Charlie Manual is saying. He talks like all my relatives from the Appalachian hills. When he opens his mouth I feel a little closer to home.

A world championship in baseball won’t change hearts, won’t end poverty and racism and crime in the city. But it might give folks something to talk about when nothing else seems appropriate. And it will make wearing bright red cool – at least for a while.

My enduring memory? Being able to sit in my father-in-law Walt’s hospital room with my son Grant and watch the Phillies win the World Series. Walt has been in a hospital bed for four months now. More often than not, if I’ve seen a great sports event in the past 25 years, it’s been with Walt. Apart from being physically at the game, I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else. To be in that small room huddling next to a twelve inch screen, trying not to make too much noise during quiet hours, was a privilege and a blast.

What are your enduring memories of this World Series? What memories will you pass on?

When Being Right is All Wrong

2008-11-05T06:00:00.000-05:00

Meet Justin and Paula. They’ve been married for nearly 15 years, most of which have been wonderful years. Recently, though, conflict has been the order of the day. Not war-to-end-all-wars conflict. Just little skirmishes here or there over this small thing or that. Right now, as you read this, they are at the end of another conflict. Paula is in the privileged position of being right…there is no doubt left for either of them that Justin is wrong.

As they go back to their neutral corners (Justin to the TV room and Paula to the bedroom), they both realize that they don’t feel any better now than when the whole thing started. Justin’s not supposed to feel better…he was proven wrong. But Paula won the fight…the joy of vindication and accomplishment is quickly fading and she’s feeling unsettled again…as usual.

Why does Paula still feel hollow and Justin still feel defeated?

Might I suggest an answer? Could it be they’re competing for the wrong prize and, to their own detriment, actually winning it?

You see, Justin and Paula, in their recent history of combat, have been fighting to determine who is right and who is wrong. And the winner is the one with the high ground of the facts being on their side…the right one. But the prize never makes good on the promises it makes.

Determining who is right and who is wrong will never resolve marital conflict. Let me repeat that. Determining who is right and who is wrong will never resolve marital conflict. You see, in order to “win” the chronic fight that they are engaged in, they must turn away from each other and then turn on each other. They have to set themselves up against each other and then attack each other. Someone must “win” and someone must “lose,” and that is no “win” at all.

Think of it another way. We were once embattled against God. Who had the moral high ground? Who had the facts on their side? Well, that would be God. But that didn’t resolve the problem…it WAS the problem. The enmity between us was resolved only by a cross. It was resolved by love and by mercy. It was resolved out of grace. This is what Justin and Paula need.

They need motivations that are for the betterment of the other. They need to be willing to be wronged and love anyway. They need to be willing to be right, but not make that the main issue. If there is enmity between them, resolving the enmity is the goal…not proving who is right or wrong.

It’s not that the facts don’t matter, but they only matter in the greater context of the right prize…the prize of holy oneness. When oneness is the goal of a marriage, suddenly turning on each other is folly…not a strategy. It is destructive…not victorious.

When Justin and Paula understand the need for the cross to have its effect on their marriage, their warfare will be transformed. They will no longer be fighting against each other, but alongside each other after the proper goal of oneness.

And, by the way, the cross will have the same effect in your marriage, too. That’s what the cross does…it destroys enmity and replaces it with grace.

How do I say, “I love you…?”

2008-11-04T06:00:00.000-05:00

I did something unpredictable today…I made breakfast for my family on a weekday. That is unusual. We normally do “serve yourself” cereal and toast during the week, but on this particular morning my family woke up to the smell of baked oatmeal and enjoyed it as an additional choice. Though this was a small effort for me, perhaps an additional 5-6 minutes from mixing bowl to oven, it was a huge deal to my family. And I’ve been pondering why. I think that even more significant than what I did is the fact that I surprised them with something, and it communicated “I love you” in a special way—more special than mere words.

As wives and mothers, we can get so caught up in the routines and busy-ness of our lives that we forget how important it is to communicate our affections to our families. Words are important—we should never cease telling our families just how much we love them. But how much more effective when we demonstrate that love in a special way! If you think about it, that’s how God expresses his love for us. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son…” (John 3:16). He demonstrated his love in a tangible way by sending Christ. And daily, his mercies, his grace, his presence, and his help serve as tangible reminders of his love.

Our husbands and children need tangible reminders of our love and affection for them. And these reminders don’t need to be big or expensive. It’s quite often the little “surprises” in daily life mean the most! I am always looking for fresh ideas. Here are some things I’ve tried…ways to break the routine with a special surprise that says, “I love you” …

Make breakfast for dinner (“second breakfast” hobbit style!)
Serve dessert first at dinner.
Include an “I love you” sentiment in a packed lunch.
Hide a little encouragement note in folded laundry.
Instead of serving dessert, make it together as a family.
Make pizza together instead of buying it. Let your children choose the toppings.
Eat a normal weekday dinner on fine china in the dining room. Let your kids dress for dinner!
Make a holiday dessert for a regular day.
Take a surprise trip out for ice cream…kids in pjs!
Make a sign that says, “Good morning, I love you” backwards and tape it on the wall opposite the bathroom mirror. It will read correctly in the mirror! (I can’t take credit for this one…my husband recently did this for me—it works!)

Expressing our love for our husbands and children in tangible ways leaves tangible fingerprints of our love on their hearts. It strengthens our family ties and builds a storehouse of precious memories of just how much mom loves them!

Beyond the Ballot Box

2008-11-03T06:00:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow is Election Day – the end of the long campaign trail. One thing is for certain. In about 48 hours or less (barring another chad count) we will know who will lead our country for the next four years. We also know that roughly half the country will be very optimistic about our country’s prospects, while the other half will wonder with varying degrees of anxiety what the future holds.

As we are in this current series, “Shine”, we’re learning about Christians who lived in cultures where the right to vote would have been unthinkable. So as we go to the polls (everybody vote!) let’s keep their reality in mind. Commentator Sam Storms has written a wonderful devotional on Revelation 2 and 3, "To the One Who Conquers". Here’s some great perspective from Dr. Storms for the politics of our day.

“Make no mistake: I’m eternally grateful for the laws that safeguard our rights, and I consistently vote for those candidates who are social, fiscal, and moral conservatives. But have we come so to depend on such political blessings, economic liberties, and the legal protection Christianity enjoys that in their absence we fear the destruction of the church and the silencing of our witness?

The church in Ephesus, as with so many other congregations in the first century, knew nothing of a constitution, a first amendment, or a right to vote. Yet they survived, and thrived, in the midst of what strikes us as unimaginable state-sanctioned idolatry and immortality. Before we panic or lose heart at the state of our state, or the condition of our city, we would do well to remember the promise of Jesus: ‘I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it’ (Matt. 16:18).” (p. 27)

Emphasizing the Wrong syl-LAB-le

2008-10-31T06:00:00.000-04:00

Ridicule. It’s a serious word with very serious implications. In my past, I have a very memorable encounter with that word, that was something short of life-changing and altogether different than what was intended.

I was a junior in high school and attending our church youth group. A senior was sharing with us a devotional that was intended to lead the youth group toward greater acceptance and tolerance of each other. However, in the height of irony, during her devotional, she consistently stressed the wrong syllable of the word “ridicule” and said, instead, the word “re-DIC-ule.” The word sounded just like the word “re-pickle” along with its various forms of “re-pickled” and “re-pickling.”

To give you a flavor, a sample sentence went something like this: “We all have to stop re-DIC-uling each other and admit that we don’t like it when we’re re-DIC-uled, either.”

The first 3 or 4 times, the crowd of about 100 teens went from confused to gracious. At first, we didn’t know what she was saying. Then, we figured she was nervous and was just misreading. However, somewhere around the 15th mention of “re-DIC-ule,” youthful silliness got the best of us. Giggling turned to crying and several pulled stomach muscles from holding in the hilarity.

The content of this poor girl’s devotional was excellent, I’m sure. However, in the oft repeated singular mistake of her presentation, the content was lost and a memory created.

I do wonder, how much of our good content in parenting is missed because we stress the wrong syl-LAB-le. We can be prone to stress obedience, cooperation, service, even humility. Yet, all the while, missing grace.

Without grace, obedience can become legalism, cooperation can become coercion, service becomes servitude and humility can become subservience. Without grace, all of our intentions of good and godliness can be misinterpreted or missed altogether.

When we stress the wrong syl-LAB-le by missing grace, we present our children with a skewed perspective on who God is. They may fail to see their acceptance as solely based on the grace of God and rather see it as based on their responses to God.

Grace is love and acceptance that happens when justice is deserved. Grace is the choice of love in the face of wrong doing. Grace is the expression of a compassionate heart. Grace is the great distinguisher of our faith and the great characteristic of our God. It ought to find its way into our homes through our parenting and it ought to be the one trait that our children see when they look back on their experience in our homes.

So, if you are tempted to stress dis-cip-LINE, or o-be-DI-ance, or even RE-spect, consider changing your stressed syl-LAB-le to grace. Not only will it lead to a better, happier home, but it only has one syllable, so it’s very tough to mispronounce.

Your Father’s God

2008-10-30T06:00:00.000-04:00

Tim Challies recently posted a quote on his blog by 19th Century Missionary John Paton. It is a very moving description of Paton’s departure for training to be a missionary, where the young man describes the parting of ways between him and his father. It brings home to me that my fathering finds its tearful joy when we release our children into their future in God, whether that is in marriage, or in mission.

My dear father walked with me the first six miles of the way. His counsels and tears and heavenly conversation on that parting journey are fresh in my heart as if it had been but yesterday; and tears are on my cheeks as freely now as then, whenever memory steals me away to the scene. For the last half mile or so we walked on together in almost unbroken silence - my father, as was often his custom, carrying hat in hand, while his long flowing yellow hair (then yellow, but in later years white as snow) streamed like a girl's down his shoulders. His lips kept moving in silent prayers for me; and his tears fell fast when our eyes met each other in looks for which all speech was vain! We halted on reaching the appointed parting place; he grasped my hand firmly for a minute in silence, and then solemnly and affectionately said: "God bless you, my son! Your father's God prosper you, and keep you from all evil!"

Unable to say more, his lips kept moving in silent prayer; in tears we embraced, and parted. I ran off as fast as I could; and, when about to turn a corner in the road where he would lose sight of me, I looked back and saw him still standing with head uncovered where I had left him - gazing after me. Waving my hat in adieu, I rounded the corner and out of sight in instant. But my heart was too full and sore to carry me further, so I darted into the side of the road and wept for time. Then, rising up cautiously, I climbed the dike to see if he yet stood where I had left him; and just at that moment I caught a glimpse of him climbing the dike and looking out for me! He did not see me, and after he gazed eagerly in my direction for a while he got down, set his face toward home, and began to return - his head still uncovered, and his heart, I felt sure, still rising in prayers for me. I watched through blinding tears, till his form faded from my gaze; and then, hastening on my way, vowed deeply and oft, by the help of God, to live and act so as never to grieve or dishonor such a father and mother as he had given me.

This excerpt is taken from Paton’s autobiography, John G. Paton, D.D., Missionary to the New Hebrides. An Autobiography.

Thanks to Tim Challies for this post

Happy Birthday to…Us

2008-10-29T06:05:00.001-04:00

It was one year ago today when we launched the Family Life Blog.

On behalf of the Family Life team of pastors, thank you for coming back as often as you do to continue to learn and grow. Thank you to those who have contributed posts and to those who have submitted comments.

We hope you’ve found this to be a helpful resource throughout our first year and we are committed to walking alongside you as we all grow in the knowledge and grace of Christ.

To God be the glory!

Through Good Times and Bad

2008-10-29T06:00:00.000-04:00

Editor’s Note: The following story is a reduced retelling of a story recorded in I Still Do: Stories of Lifelong Love and Marriage by David Boehi. You can read the whole story by clicking here.

We’ve all made this promise to our spouse when we were married, and some of us have been tested with pretty bad times. Yet, there is something encouraging to our own marriages when we see another couple making hard choices in their stance for faithfulness and their reliance upon God. Floyd and Diana Green qualify.

They were married for 24 years and on a romantic trip together, riding bikes in the California sun. Their marriage was characterized by closeness and passion, a real harmonic relationship. Suddenly, as they shared memories and gratitude to God for their marriage, a car veered out of control, glanced Diana’s bike and plowed right into Floyd.

Once Diana realized what had happened, she ran up to Floyd only to find him gravely injured. Once the paramedics were called, Diana prayed a prayer of remarkable faith:

“God, I don’t have any right to demand anything of you. WE have had the happiest and the most blessed life and marriage of anyone I know. You don’t owe us anything. If it is our turn to be called to suffer, give me the grace to be able to do it in ways that exalt you. Whatever you have for us, I will receive.”

Wow.

She went on to pray for Floyd to be healed. Several hours later, Diana found out that Floyd would live, but had certainly suffered brain damage. He was unconscious as he lay in his hospital bed when Diana did what only faith could make a person do. Before God and beside her wounded husband, Diana renewed her vows and concluded with this:

“Whatever man wakes up from this, he will be my husband, and I will love him all the days of my life.”

Wow.

Well, Floyd woke up remarkably well, but remarkably different. In the accident, he lost his sense of smell and taste, which the Green’s found humorous. However, he also lost his drive and confidence. He lost his emotional strength and his desire to communicate on a deep and intimate level. Floyd woke up from his trauma, but he woke up a different man. And Diana was married to a different person.

It is 13 years later now, and Floyd and Diana are still married. They teach marriage and parenting seminars and they share the story of God’s grace before the accident, and His grace after the accident. As author Dave Boehi states, “Their first marriage was founded on their trust in the Lord, and no matter how different their relationship was now, their faith had not wavered.”

God is powerful to exalt His name through His power on His behalf. It is His joy to do this in marriage. It is His joy to do this in your marriage…just like He did in the Green’s marriage. God delights to see His children rely upon Him in faith…through good times and bad.

All quotes are taken from I Still Do: Stories of Lifelong Love and Marriage by David Boehi, pages 61-69.

A Weapon in my Arsenal

2008-10-28T06:00:00.000-04:00

This is a blog entry that, if written by a man, would start with some inspiring military analogy about using the right weapon. But you’ve got me, and I almost spelled the word arsenal, “aerosol”. But a lack of a good opening analogy does not kill my point.

The battle I’m talking about is one we’re all familiar with—the battle for a daily solid devotional time where we commune with God Himself. That’s not to be confused with propping yourself up in bed, attempting to focus your one opened eye on a random page of Scripture, while a fog of sleepy confusion settles heavily upon you.

The Bible warns us that when we want to do good, evil is right there with us. I am never more certain of that than when beginning my devotional times early in the morning. Whether “evil” is sleepiness, condemnation, or distraction, it doesn’t take too many days of the Christian life to realize we need weapons.

And in this we are fortunate because God has provided us with a whole arsenal of weapons for this battle including strong coffee, worship music, walks outside, Bible reading plans, accountability phone calls, and all kinds of great stuff.

The weapon I want to recommend today is praying through the Psalms or a great prayer book like The Valley of Vision (available in the Book Shoppe.) When I am in my early zombie-like state, feeling as flat and uninspired as ever, I can struggle to focus my mind on the truths of God and end up wasting a lot of time. That’s when praying through the Psalms is so helpful. I believe I got the idea from Donald Whitney, but the premise is simple. Use the inspired words of Scripture to fuel your own prayers. Basically, you read a line, then begin to personalize it. Here’s an example from the very familiar Psalm 23:

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

Yes Lord, you’ve been such a kind shepherd, leading me so faithfully. And you’ve provided exactly what I’ve needed. Please lead me today as I’ve got such a full schedule. Help me see what’s important to you.

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.

Thank you for permanently restoring my soul at the cross and for allowing me to enter your presence! But help my distracted soul to be close to you today …

You get the idea. And the injection of deep intelligent thought into my wandering mind seems to push me quickly into a deeper fellowship with God. The Puritan prayers in The Valley of Vision work much the same way, and have fought bravely against my morning time sloth.

So arm yourself with weapons, and if you’re foggy like me in the mornings, allow these priceless prayers to pull you into the light.

Solid Rock and Sinking Sand

2008-10-27T06:00:00.000-04:00

In a recent message at Covenant Life Church, Josh Harris shared some very helpful thoughts on how to relate to the current economic situation. The following is an excerpt that was posted on the CLC web site that can serve us all in what are (humanly speaking) uncertain times. One thing I got my attention from Josh’s comments was when he said, “Spend more time meditating on God’s word than watching the Markets”. The indexes are a way to track daily economic activity. They never account for God’s eternal activity. I need to remember that.

Here’s the link to the excerpt – about 4 minutes long, but well worth the viewing.

One Thing You Lack?

2008-10-24T06:00:00.000-04:00

As Jared just taught us on Sunday, the church at Ephesus had so many things going for it…so many wonderful and desirable characteristics. Yet, because of His faithfulness to His people, Christ had to bring rebuke. They had remembered so much, but had forgotten their first love.

Short in my tenure here at Covenant Fellowship Church, I see so many things going for the families in our church…so many wonderful and desirable characteristics. And we are thankful to be a part of it. I wonder, though, if you are at all like me. At times, the calling and duties of parenting can rob me of a great truth of parenting…joy in the gift of my children.

What a glorious reminder we’re given in Psalm 127:3:

Behold, children are a gift from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

At times, I can fall victim to the misconception that children are projects. There always seems to be sin present in some form and it seems it’s my job to rid them of it…all the while failing to actually enjoy them. I can find myself not enjoying their childishness… their silliness…their harmless fun.

At times like this, people like me need to be reminded that the Psalm does NOT read, “Children are a project from the Lord.” Nor does it read: “Children are an assignment from the Lord.” No, when the Psalmist had a chance to characterize the place of children in the life of a parent, he chose the words “gift” and “reward.”

Of special temptation in my life is the last hour or so of the day. With the bedtime business that must occur, and the adult duties that await once the children are in bed, I slip so easily into the “get ‘er done” mentality. Yet, this is a time that God has designed for the childishness of my children to abound. In those moments, I can go beyond seeing my children as projects or assignments and view them as outright obstacles. (Boy, that stings!)

Our children are gifts, wonderful expressions of a loving God who has characterized His kingdom as being filled with people such as these. He Himself bids them to come to Him. When we are seeing with spiritual eyes, we will do the same.

Here are a few helpful questions we could ask ourselves:

- Do they hear us laugh with them?
- Do we stop what we’re doing to take interest in what interests them?
- Do we stop to listen when they want to talk?
- Are there sins that we see in them that we’re willing to overlook and deal with later?

These questions are not a list of do’s and don’ts. They simply provide a healthy glimpse into the day to day with our children.

I encourage you to take these questions and let your spouse answer them. Hand them to your older children and ask them. Pray that God would give you eyes to see with keen accuracy how you’re doing. Then pray…not primarily that your activity would change, but that your perspective would change. That you would see your children as gifts…as rewards…and thoroughly enjoy them.

The duties and responsibilities of parenting are many. But without the God-ordained perspective captured in Psalm 127, those duties quickly morph into burdens. And there is no joy in burden. We have much going for us in our families at Covenant Fellowship Church. Yet, I wonder…is there one thing you lack?

Right Around the Corner

2008-10-23T06:00:00.000-04:00

Recently, I met two families attending Covenant Fellowship who are new to this region. Each Sunday morning new visitors are invited to get to know us by attending the Guest Reception. Maybe you have met some new families or are new to this area yourself. Here is an addendum to the Guest Reception, a short list of things to enjoy nearby our church. These might even be good for you to check out:

Longwood Gardens. Longwood is world renowned for spectacular indoor and outdoor gardens, water fountains and stunning horticultural displays. Fireworks in the summer, Christmas lights in the winter and flowers year round. Admission is a bit pricey but well worth it – consider an annual pass. Important note! Don’t pick the flowers. Plucking a Phalaenopsis is a definite no-no.

Concord Town Center: Have you checked out the new Concord Town Center just a stone’s throw from the church? There are a bunch of good places to shop. There’s a new Cosi’s there, a great place to hang out. I also recommend the Home Depot Garden Center. Not only can you get flowers, shrubs and bulbs but they also guarantee many plants. If they die in a year return them for a refund. Wouldn’t it be great for all those workers to get to know us as faithful customers?

Newlin Grist Mill: A quaint and cozy park and historic grist mill 5 minutes from church. Great place for a picnic after church with scenic ponds, small waterfall and trout fishing during the summer months (fee charged for fishing).

Baldwin’s Book Barn: If you love books but are tired of the chain book store approach, stop by Baldwin’s Book Barn. Over 300,000 books nestled in a historic barn on four floors with nooks and crannies to explore. They don’t have a café but there is a picnic table outside by the parking lot.

Speaking of book stores. Looking for Christian books and music? Look no further than the Covenant Fellowship Book Shoppe. Open before and after Sunday services with great customer service.

Have small children? Looking for a great playground? Be sure to stop by Castle Park, right next to the Rachel Kohl Community Library in Glen Mills. The playground has a massive wooden castle structure that children are attracted to like coffee drinkers to Starbucks. A word of caution however. When your 4-year-old yells out, “Daddy, come get me!” bring your GPS. The castle has twists, turns, little steps, and passages some only a few feet wide. Be prepared to duck, squat and slither your way through mazes and catwalks. Have fun!

Speaking of coffee. If you can’t start your day without a cup of ground beans you have choices in the area. If you like comparing the price of coffee to a gallon of gas then stop by Starbucks, they are all over the region. For less frills and cost, there is Wawa . . . yes “Wawa.” If you are not from the area don’t let the name scare you off. Wawa is a convenience store chain throughout the tri-state area. They sell over 165 million cups of coffee a year. A Wawa trip tip: In the morning, Wawa looks like Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport but instead of planes there are cars coming in and out of the parking lot from every direction. Proceed with caution, the coffee is hot!

What is the Posture of Your Marriage?

2008-10-22T06:00:00.002-04:00

For eight years, I ran a private voice studio teaching. Regardless of talent or aptitude, the first few lessons were spent on posture. The parts of the body can only work in concert with each other when the body is held in the proper posture. Once addressed and subsequently fixed, you’d be amazed at how easily other vocal problems could be addressed. Posture mattered…a lot.

Posture matters in marriage, too. Some postures are worth pursuing while others are worth avoiding. So, let’s just take a look at a few that could help direct conversation between you and your spouse.

Face to Face: When we’re face to face, we’re focused on each other. In this posture, we communicate, we experience intimacy, and we work on our marriage. In this posture, we declare our marriage to be the singular most important human relationship we have and we engage.

When we’re face to face, the world around us fades. Regardless of our schedule or preference, if we do not experience this posture often, trouble is not far off. With the world warring against the very fabric of marriage, in addition to our own busyness chipping away at it from the inside, face to face is a must.

Shoulder to Shoulder: As we stand shoulder to shoulder, we labor for the gospel. We work to reach the lost, care for our neighbors and raise our children. We engage the world around us as we stand side by side and walk never forgetting that we walk together.

When we’re shoulder to shoulder, there is a strength about us. When we serve together we experience the same trials of faith and the same experiences of God’s providence. We experience the same obstacles, the same victories, the same needs for prayer. In all of this, we grow together in our experience of God.

The Challenge – Balance: If we are exclusively postured face to face, a marriage becomes self-focused. It becomes blinded to the world around it. The place of family and marriage becomes inordinately elevated to the exclusion of all else. However, if a marriage is exclusively shoulder to shoulder, much work will be done outside the home with growing atrophy within the home. The marriage relationship becomes centered on task rather than being. The love that is necessary for fruitful labor dies on the vine.

The couple that is tempted to remain face to face must frequently turn shoulder to shoulder, joining together in serving others and reaching out to others. The couple that is tempted to remain shoulder to shoulder must frequently turn face to face for constructive and intentional conversation and personal times of intimacy.

The Danger: If either of the above postures are neglected, we can ultimately grow to a back to back posture. In this posture, we are either indifferently living separate lives or intentionally choosing separation rather than restoration.

By the time we end up back to back, much of our motivation for restoration is lost and we arrive at a place of cold hopelessness.

Which posture is your marriage most tempted toward? Do you tend to linger face to face? …shoulder to shoulder? …back to back?

What other couple can be brought into your lives to help stretch you to other postures?

By taking on a posture of prayer, the active postures in our lives can be kept in balance. It is God’s desire for a marriage to be face to face AND shoulder to shoulder. As His will is kept in our vision at all times, we will be able, according to His grace, to avoid the danger, enjoy the blessing, and bring His name glory.

Are You a Joy to Lead?

2008-10-21T06:00:00.000-04:00

Recently I've "discovered" that sometimes I'm not an easy wife for my husband to lead. Just a couple weeks ago, Jeff had a creative idea for our date night. Excitedly, he explained what he wanted to do together. I didn't like the idea - to me it sounded tiring and boring. And to my shame, I instantly opposed it. I didn't thank him for trying to be creative or express any gratitude for his commitment to a weekly date night. Instead I criticized his idea, leaving him feeling deflated, and me discouraged.

I know however, as wives, most of us really do want our husbands to lead. We may even get discouraged when they're not leading. We like it when they plan our date nights, lead family devotions, plan vacations, and initiate home projects. I have loved the times that Jeff surprised me by taking me away for an anniversary or initiated times to review our family schedule. Yet, as much as we want them to lead, how often do we find ourselves fighting against how they are leading. We may even wonder why they're not leading more; unaware that we are part of the reason it is it difficult for them.

So how do we fight against this tendency?

One way is to get behind them in the areas where they are leading. Here are a few recent examples. Jeff desires to lead our family in devotions after dinner. I can support his leadership by creating meals that bring the family together, by being the most enthusiastic participant, and by encouraging him that what he is doing is valuable as he fights against the pressing demands of the evening.

Another area where Jeff desires to lead us as a couple is in praying together at night before we go to sleep. Even though it is his desire for this to happen, there are times where he inadvertently forgets. He has asked me to remind him when this happens. So instead of "forgetting" with him, I can encourage him by reminding him. And instead of giving into the temptation of complaining about how tired I am, I can smile and say, "Good idea!"

Jeff also leads us in how much media we allow into our home. Knowing that he wants to limit the amount of TV and videos that our kids watch, I can support him when he's not home by not giving into the pressure from my kids to turn on the TV.

So where is your husband leading you and your family? Encourage his initiatives, even when you would like them to be expressed in different ways. Tune in to how you respond to his ideas. And be your husband's biggest cheerleader. May we be wives who are a joy to lead!

Renovation or Demolition?

2008-10-20T06:00:00.000-04:00

Did you ever have times in your life where you feel God is hammering on you? Yes, we know he he’s at work changing us, and sometimes change can be hard. But there are those times when we wonder whether it’s not change He’s after, but maybe demolition.

This is one of the all time classic C. S. Lewis quotes which can give you vision if you feel you are in the demolition zone of life.

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right, and stopping the leaks in the roof, and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably, and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage; but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, 172.

This was posted at firstimportance.com

Hope for the Weary

2008-10-17T06:00:00.000-04:00

Can I be frank here? There is nothing, and I mean nothing, in my life more humbling than parenthood. Maybe you agree. We are called to a wonderful task of raising godly children and passing the gospel to the next generation, but we can accomplish absolutely none of it in our own power. Being called to a great task and possessing no ability to accomplish it should humble even the most proud of us all.

Personally, when I lose sight of God in some of my lesser fatherly moments, I quickly fall into fear for my children. Will they turn out okay? Am I ruining them? Will they despise me when they’re older? By God’s grace, these moments are not daily, but they occur. And every time they do, it’s because I’ve lost sight of God.

It is God who calls us. It is God who equips and empowers us. It is God who will save our children, not us. It is God…it is God. He compassionately calls out to every parent, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

And yet, comfort in the Savior’s invitation shouldn’t be the end of our vision. At least for me, I find that when I’m discouraged at the lack of fruit in my children (or more accurately, in my parenting) I have to go back to Christ day after day to trade in my heavy yoke for His light one. Is there a greater truth, a deeper comfort, available for the weary and heavy laden parent? Yes. Consider Psalm 89:11-13:

The heavens are yours; the earth also is yours; the world and all that is in it, you have founded them. The north and the south, you have created them; Tabor and Hermon joyously praise your name. You have a mighty arm; strong is your hand, high your right hand.

God owns and possesses all things. He founded them and created them. It is His arm that is mighty and His hand that is strong. The Psalms are a wonderful place for us to read of the character of God and apply it to our lives…where we’re living right now. So, if you’ll allow me just a little latitude for application, let’s look at this verse applied to parenting?

Our sons are yours; our daughters also are yours; our homes and all that is in them, you have founded them…You have a mighty arm; strong is your hand, high your right hand.

When my children’s success depends upon my parenting, then my parenting has lost sight of God’s sovereign control. When I am discouraged and tired, I’ve lost sight of God’s might and God’s strength.

So, let me ask you a few questions that I also ask myself:

- Where is God’s strength and might when I consider my weariness in parenting?
- If God loves and possesses my children, why is it that I worry and am fearful?
- What heavy yoke must I lay down to take up the light yoke of God’s sovereignty?

So, what is the hope for the weary? It is God. It is God. It is God. His power. His might. His compassion. His long-suffering. His love. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills…that includes your home…and your children.

Worst to First

2008-10-16T06:00:00.000-04:00

This is the best time of year for baseball – playoffs and World Series! This year the Tampa Bay Rays are the story – a ‘worst to first’ team in the playoffs for the first time in their history (see Cubs, it can’t be THAT hard!). During Spring Training this year, Tim Challies interviewed one of the Ray’s players, Ben Zobrist. Ben is a Christian who has some interesting things to say about what it’s like to be a Major League baseball player and authentic disciple of Christ at the same time.

One of the things that struck me in the interview was how he works to try to stay connected to his local church during the season.

TC: How do you stay connected to your local church during the baseball season? What role does your home church play in your life during the season?
BZ: We listen to our home church pastor Byron Yawn’s sermons through podcast. I am part of a men’s Theology class at church as well, and one of the men sends me an mp3 of the study that week. We keep up with prayer requests and activities through massive church emails. Pastor Byron calls every so often to check on us to see how we are doing. We also try to do a mass update to everyone every so often to let everyone know how we are doing and how to pray. Prayer is the main role the local church plays in our lives during the season. Prayer is powerful and much needed as it seems there are few ballplayers that have a strong connection to a local church back home that is praying for them.

The Point: Few men have more challenging schedules than baseball players in season. Let’s follow Ben’s example of creative effort to stay connected to his church regardless of his schedule.

Zobrist is also committed to study, including Richard Baxter’s "The Saint’s Everlasting Rest" and A. W. Pink’s "The Attributes of God", among the books he has read.

If you want to read the whole article, go here