Ten Ways to Enjoy Your Little Ones

I have learned many things in the six years I have been a mom (and have so much more to learn!). I have learned about the power of prayer over my kids. I have seen fruit from consistent discipline and from teaching them gospel truths. I have also learned how important it is to develop strong relationships with my children…especially when they are little. Here is a list of ten ways I have found that help me build relational closeness with my young children. Though some of these ideas may seem silly or meaningless, they all have added joy to my life and to the lives of my kids. I have also seen my children respond better to correction because our relationship is sweeter. Surprisingly, these fun moments have led into some of the most memorable gospel teaching experiences that I’ve had with them.

1. Tickle your kids at least once a day. The sound of your little one laughing will indeed warm your heart.

2. Answer the question “Mommy will you play with me?” with “Yes!” Then put down that load of laundry, get down on the floor and play dolls or superheroes, or whatever they love to do. Even a short time of undivided investment into their play can make a difference.

3. Instead of TV after dinner, how about a good game of “Monster!” (You being the monster, of course)

4. Let them do your hair in a fantastic new style. My girls LOVE this and it always provides many laughs.

5. Rent a silly but wholesome movie, cuddle on the couch with popcorn in hand, and ALWAYS dance to the music during the credits.

6. Create a treasure hunt and watch your little ones run all over your house to find the treasure (preferably candy). This is a great way to encourage and practice reading. Give them clues they can read on their own.

7. Make up a silly song about them using fun rhyming words.

8. Kiss their cheeks right after they wake up from a nap. There’s nothing like it for both of you.

9. Tell them stories about when you were little. My kids love the one about my mom putting Tabasco sauce on my thumb one night so I would stop sucking it…Yikes!

10. Cuddle together in your jammies and read some good books everyone will enjoy. Some of my favorites: Go Dog Go! , Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, Mr. Popper’s Penguins, and all the traditional fairy tales.

When we think about introducing the Gospel to our children we often think about some serious devotional exercise. I’ve found that Gospel opportunities can come through intentional enjoyment of my kids as much as through intentional evangelism of them.

What’s Important in Parenting Teens

Recently in preparing a message for the youth I ran across a wonderful passage in C.J. Mahaney’s book entitled Humility True Greatness where he specifically addresses parents. To help us stay focused on what is most important in preparing our children for their future, C. J. shared the following:

“If you are a parent, I ask you to consider carefully your influence on your children and your responsibility for them. What are your ambitions for them? Almost all parents have ambitions for their children, but how many harbor ambitions for the children that are biblical?

Do your ambitions for your son or daughter include a certain vocation or certain level of education? Graduation from a certain college? Professional or athletic or artistic recognition? If so, let me ask this: Are any of these ambitions in line with true greatness as defined in Scripture?

And here’s a more important question: Are any of your ambitions for your child more important to you than their cultivation of humility and servanthood - the basis for true greatness as biblically defined? Are any of these ambitions more important to you than their learning to serve others for the glory of God? In other words, are you more interested in temporal recognition for you child than you are in his eternal reward?

Ultimately, that’s what parenting is mostly about - it’s about preparing our children for the final day. All parenting is ultimately a preparation for that day when your child will stand before the judgment seat of Christ and give an account” (pp. 157-159)

With fifteen year-old twins it is easy for me to start thinking about their higher education, jobs, career, future financial independence, etc. It is not that these are unimportant, but they can seem to call out for attention far more than servanthood, sacrifice and heavenly treasure. But as CJ points out, the call to worldly greatness is loud, but it is also potentially distracting to those pursing true greatness. To prepare our children for this world without an eye to the next is simply short sighted. We should not abandon a fervent pursuit of excellence in all we do or all we plan for our children. It’s just that worldly treasures and pursuits are never ends in themselves nor do they do much to lead our children toward true greatness.

Parenting, Round Two

Last week my third born daughter turned thirteen, now I have three teenagers and a whole new level of activity in my parenting. Seems like our gas budget is always on “blown.” But, sometimes lost in the wake of all our teen parenting, remain two very young daughters, what I call, “Parenting: Round Two.”

I’ve known about this phenomenon for some time. My wife, the last born of six, has barely a baby picture to remember her childhood. By the time she hit the toddler years, mom and dad were inundated with teens. Lois charged me in the early years of our parenting, “I want lots of pictures of ALL of our children.” She forgot to mention video. Our video log ended after our first two children.

Anyway, what I realized recently is that I had all but given up reading to my youngest two daughters. I did all kinds of reading with the older bunch but had not read much to the younger ones. So, recently I started the first Little House book, “Little House in the Big Woods”, and just in the nick of time. Anna and Amelia are still young enough to enjoy the same stories her siblings came to love.

Looking around the church, I see I’m not the only one in Parenting – Round Two. Some couples like us have larger families, others have adopted a second round and a few, well, round two came as a surprise. Often what happens is the work of investing in our younger kids gets spread between parents and older siblings. This can be a great building block for a family, but it can unintentionally rob us of the small joys of parenting our younger children with the same personal investment we gave to our first children.

So, I’m writing this to pass on to all of us a reminder. Get the camera out, read a story, make a snowman this winter or dust off that special tradition you did with your firstborn children in round one. Round Two can have all the special moments of Round One, plus in-house babysitters as a bonus!

Everyday Talk

“How much time do you spend talking to your children each day?”. That is only one of the questions that provoked me as I read John Younts’ book Everyday Talk. Since I have six children I’ve got to divide my available time six ways! Unless I am talking to all of them at once, I can only rack up so much time with each of them. I have about 1 hour in the morning and two hours including dinner on most nights. Though a part of that time is conversing with my wife let’s just say I have one half hour per child to work with. That is not a lot of time to lead and influence them for the kingdom of God. Throw in a few meetings and long days, and it can be hard staying connected with my children This is a great question to keep me from drifting away from the daily reality of shepherding my children’s hearts.

Here is another question from the book. “What do your children hear from you about God in the few minutes that you have each day to speak to them?” Now I’m really convicted, and with a title like Everyday Talk, you might think that if you miss a day you blew it. But that is not the way the book is written. For instance, I think I have spent more time talking about the Eagles losing, my latest EBay purchase, and the weather, than I have talked about God with my children outside of our family devotions. If I could only redeem some of the time I already spend in conversation, I actually have a lot of time to lead my children spiritually day to day. John Younts puts it this way, “Your interaction with God in everyday, ordinary, non-church life is the most powerful tool of influence that you have with your children.” That is good reminder for all of us.

The balance of his book is a chapter by chapter encouragement on how to talk to your children about God in everyday life. John helps parents talk about the Lord and the gospel and gives practical tips to help us talk to our children about everything from relationships to music to sex. He also reminds us as parents that our conversations with each other, in the presence of our children, shape their view of marriage. So, to start to put it into practice, have a conversation with one of your children when you get home. Then, call your wife into the room, give her a big hug and a kiss and let your whole family know just how much you love her. Not a bad alternative to recapping the Eagles last game for the third time in the week.

If you’d like to inject a little more fresh vision into your conversations with your kids, pick up a copy of Everyday Talk at the Book Shoppe.