Not too long ago my daughter Rosie and I went for an early morning walk before breakfast. I walk and she rides her scooter—good exercise for both of us. She’s a real trooper especially since winter mornings can be so cold. As we entered the kitchen I was starving! She asked if I would make her some hot chocolate, but the first thing that came to my mind was my loud stomach and hunger pangs! I announced it was time for her to learn to make her own hot chocolate. I barked out the steps as she got the milk and the chocolate sauce out. Meanwhile I was chomping down on my shredded wheat (something not even tasty—which my family continually reminds me). She finally got her hot chocolate, but as she sat down I was off toward the rest of my day and my agenda.
Later that morning we were reading the book "Heaven for kids" by Randy Alcorn, and the few pages we read were about good deeds which do not earn our way to Heaven, but nonetheless please God and can bring rewards for us in heaven. Alcorn gave some examples saying, “Good works include helping and doing kind things for people, such as visiting someone in a nursing home, baking cookies for your neighbor, or making hot chocolate for a family member.” (p. 105). Startling, you would think. But I was dull to my heart, and it took a while for this timely little rebuke to from the Lord to sink in. Later that night, by God’s grace, I was able to confess at our fellowship group, and I started to see my selfishness and God’s grace to reveal it to me. “For truly I say to you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ will by no means lose his reward.” (Mark 9:41) I realize I missed an opportunity that day, but thankfully the lesson has not been lost on me. I try to be quick now to offer hot chocolate when we return, and I am the one who is blessed when I see her face as she slurps up those marshmallows.
God is so kind to not leave us to ourselves. If any of you ladies can relate to my selfishness and the difficulty of serving your children over and over in what seems at times to be a thankless job, remember that the Lord is not asleep. He is an ever present help. He is able to bring our sins to our attention, grant us forgiveness and extend grace for change. He cares about even the smallest things. He will bless the dishing of love in any form we give it – hot chocolate included. What an amazing God we serve!
Showing posts with label Tuesday at the fivebucks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tuesday at the fivebucks. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
That Time of Year
Editor’s note: its flu season and families throughout the church are feeling the effects. Flu bugs running through a family can be a particular challenge for moms, who must add the role of nurse to their already bulging job description. Of course it’s always understood that ‘a mom can never get sick’, so when you do there’s the additional temptation to press on rather than rest and recover. Just about this time last year Christina Roth sent in a post we didn’t have a chance to use that seems particularly timely for Flu season 2009.
It came, later than I expected, but it came. It’s the dreaded season when all the Roth kids get sick. I feel trapped in the never-ending cycle of wiping noses and many tears, washing soiled bedding, giving asthma treatments, hot showers and endless teaspoons of the miracle drug Motrin (preferably bubble gum flavor). Unfortunately, this season even included a recent trip to riddle emergency room. These are days I feel like I’m on auto pilot…I’m sure you can relate. I’m caught up in the business of it all, wondering when it will end. Though I continue my morning devotions, I often find myself feeling far from the Lord in the midst of my weariness. Flu season can do a number on your spiritual perspective.
During this season my prayers were little more than short cries to the Father, “Lord help him”, “Lord please heal her”, and then “Lord help me, I need to hear your voice.” Doesn’t He always answer these prayers? He did… while I was reading from a book by Anne Ortlund called “The Gentle Ways of the Beautiful Woman”. She writes “If you have made God your highest priority of all, he is there. You are learning to abide in him, and he in you. There is calm, there is peace. He is your refuge, to which you continually run.” That’s it! It’s times like these when I truly learn how to abide in Him. Even when I’m tired from treating an ailing family, or battling sickness myself, I realize something wonderful. When I can barely walk in my physical state, I can run to the Savior in my heart. He is my refuge…He is my peace.
It came, later than I expected, but it came. It’s the dreaded season when all the Roth kids get sick. I feel trapped in the never-ending cycle of wiping noses and many tears, washing soiled bedding, giving asthma treatments, hot showers and endless teaspoons of the miracle drug Motrin (preferably bubble gum flavor). Unfortunately, this season even included a recent trip to riddle emergency room. These are days I feel like I’m on auto pilot…I’m sure you can relate. I’m caught up in the business of it all, wondering when it will end. Though I continue my morning devotions, I often find myself feeling far from the Lord in the midst of my weariness. Flu season can do a number on your spiritual perspective.
During this season my prayers were little more than short cries to the Father, “Lord help him”, “Lord please heal her”, and then “Lord help me, I need to hear your voice.” Doesn’t He always answer these prayers? He did… while I was reading from a book by Anne Ortlund called “The Gentle Ways of the Beautiful Woman”. She writes “If you have made God your highest priority of all, he is there. You are learning to abide in him, and he in you. There is calm, there is peace. He is your refuge, to which you continually run.” That’s it! It’s times like these when I truly learn how to abide in Him. Even when I’m tired from treating an ailing family, or battling sickness myself, I realize something wonderful. When I can barely walk in my physical state, I can run to the Savior in my heart. He is my refuge…He is my peace.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Buyer Beware! …
(Editor’s note: Ramona submitted this blog last spring, but it coming off of a message on the family in the culture it seemed apropos. And, hopefully, spring is coming soon!)
The weather has changed—its warm—and so comes the yearly ritual of the ‘changing of the clothing.’ As usual, I am amazed at how quickly my children have grown. The summer clothing I diligently packed away in the fall seems to have shrunk in the bins that housed them during the colder months. And so off to the local department stores to fill in the gaps in my kids’ summer wardrobes.
I just returned from such a trip almost empty handed and with a sad heart. Though there were more than enough clothing options available—even at a reasonable cost—I was unwilling to buy into the ‘cultural norm’ and trade some very important principles we have used to make clothing selections for our children. In the stores I visited, the styles available for my eight year old daughter were predominately immodest and geared toward a trendy, teen pop culture that doesn’t embrace the biblical standards of modesty, humility, and appropriateness that Paul refers to in 1 Timothy 2:9 where he urges, “that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.”
Obviously, my eight year old daughter is NOT a woman. In fact, in spite of what the fashion industry would like her to believe, she’s not a teen yet either. But there is direct application to her life, none the less. My example of dress, how I relate to her on the topic of dress, what I purchase for her wear, and what I allow her to wear now, in her elementary years, will ultimately tutor her heart either toward godly virtues of purity, modesty and self-control, or tutor her heart toward worldly values of sinful comparison, worldly acceptance, and gaining attention through her appearance.
Buyer beware! That cute little mid-drift top with spaghetti ties at the shoulder may deliver more than you bargained for as your daughter becomes progressively desensitized to our culture and its sensual trappings.
C.J. Mahaney has done some outstanding teaching in this area, and has written a chapter on modesty in "Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World" (you can order it at a special sale price at the ginormous sale ). It’s called “God, My Heart, and Clothes.” It’s wisdom for women of any age.
Also, please take some time to look over the Modesty Check List which will help you not only care for your daughters, but sharpen your convictions for yourself as well.
The weather has changed—its warm—and so comes the yearly ritual of the ‘changing of the clothing.’ As usual, I am amazed at how quickly my children have grown. The summer clothing I diligently packed away in the fall seems to have shrunk in the bins that housed them during the colder months. And so off to the local department stores to fill in the gaps in my kids’ summer wardrobes.
I just returned from such a trip almost empty handed and with a sad heart. Though there were more than enough clothing options available—even at a reasonable cost—I was unwilling to buy into the ‘cultural norm’ and trade some very important principles we have used to make clothing selections for our children. In the stores I visited, the styles available for my eight year old daughter were predominately immodest and geared toward a trendy, teen pop culture that doesn’t embrace the biblical standards of modesty, humility, and appropriateness that Paul refers to in 1 Timothy 2:9 where he urges, “that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire.”
Obviously, my eight year old daughter is NOT a woman. In fact, in spite of what the fashion industry would like her to believe, she’s not a teen yet either. But there is direct application to her life, none the less. My example of dress, how I relate to her on the topic of dress, what I purchase for her wear, and what I allow her to wear now, in her elementary years, will ultimately tutor her heart either toward godly virtues of purity, modesty and self-control, or tutor her heart toward worldly values of sinful comparison, worldly acceptance, and gaining attention through her appearance.
Buyer beware! That cute little mid-drift top with spaghetti ties at the shoulder may deliver more than you bargained for as your daughter becomes progressively desensitized to our culture and its sensual trappings.
C.J. Mahaney has done some outstanding teaching in this area, and has written a chapter on modesty in "Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World" (you can order it at a special sale price at the ginormous sale ). It’s called “God, My Heart, and Clothes.” It’s wisdom for women of any age.
Also, please take some time to look over the Modesty Check List which will help you not only care for your daughters, but sharpen your convictions for yourself as well.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Sermons in a Mirror
I find it fascinating that so many parents, including myself, discipline their children in the bathroom.
It certainly doesn’t seem like a logical choice—first of all you have to sit on the one available seat, presumably not the most attractive or clean one in the house. Second, bathrooms are often tiny rooms, and I have emerged from many a loving discipline session feeling like I’ve been locked in a small closet with a wolverine. Thirdly, it is the most frequently visited room in the house. You can bank on the fact that as soon as you enter the bathroom with your suspect, someone will be pounding on the door while jumping up and down in obvious discomfort. And you happen to be sitting on their source of relief.
And yet there is some irony in the choice. Because bathrooms have mirrors. They have other things in them as well—recent finds in my own powder room include a hand-made bow and arrow, toddler-size undies (that’s always scary), and a Lego warship. But there is always a mirror. And I find the mirror an unnerving fixture when I’m disciplining my kids. The bathroom mirror is a tool God uses to make sure the sermons I’m preaching to my kids are getting preached back to me as well.
You see, after disciplining a child, I talk with them about what happened and about their sin and God’s mercy. We’ve been well taught. But any parent knows that these words of wisdom are not always received with rapt attention and deep conviction. Yet no matter what behavior the guilty party is exhibiting, one person’s eyes are always watching me—my own. The mirror becomes my teacher in those moments. It has corrected me, encouraged me, and convicted me.
“Honey, it seems like in a lot of these situations you’re only thinking about what would serve you. It doesn’t seem like you’re thinking of others or what would bless them.” (The eyes in the mirror are watching.)
“Are we allowed to complain and become angry when we don’t get exactly what we want? Is getting what we want the goal in life?” (The ears in the mirror are listening.)
The mirror has diagnosed me perfectly. How can I tell my children something that I still struggle with so much, calling them to a high standard when my own example is unsteady? Are these sessions just a cycle of failures and lectures? Should I go on?
But the voice in the mirror keeps talking…
“Love, you could never pay for these sins or earn God’s favor. But God has done what we never could. He’s made a rescue...”
As the redemptive truths continue, I’m reminded that God doesn’t give up on his children. His mercy comes to us not just in times of obedience, but in times of failure—and failure again. My kids and I all need a Father who is patient and loving to us. I’m so glad I have a bathroom mirror to remind me.
It certainly doesn’t seem like a logical choice—first of all you have to sit on the one available seat, presumably not the most attractive or clean one in the house. Second, bathrooms are often tiny rooms, and I have emerged from many a loving discipline session feeling like I’ve been locked in a small closet with a wolverine. Thirdly, it is the most frequently visited room in the house. You can bank on the fact that as soon as you enter the bathroom with your suspect, someone will be pounding on the door while jumping up and down in obvious discomfort. And you happen to be sitting on their source of relief.
And yet there is some irony in the choice. Because bathrooms have mirrors. They have other things in them as well—recent finds in my own powder room include a hand-made bow and arrow, toddler-size undies (that’s always scary), and a Lego warship. But there is always a mirror. And I find the mirror an unnerving fixture when I’m disciplining my kids. The bathroom mirror is a tool God uses to make sure the sermons I’m preaching to my kids are getting preached back to me as well.
You see, after disciplining a child, I talk with them about what happened and about their sin and God’s mercy. We’ve been well taught. But any parent knows that these words of wisdom are not always received with rapt attention and deep conviction. Yet no matter what behavior the guilty party is exhibiting, one person’s eyes are always watching me—my own. The mirror becomes my teacher in those moments. It has corrected me, encouraged me, and convicted me.
“Honey, it seems like in a lot of these situations you’re only thinking about what would serve you. It doesn’t seem like you’re thinking of others or what would bless them.” (The eyes in the mirror are watching.)
“Are we allowed to complain and become angry when we don’t get exactly what we want? Is getting what we want the goal in life?” (The ears in the mirror are listening.)
The mirror has diagnosed me perfectly. How can I tell my children something that I still struggle with so much, calling them to a high standard when my own example is unsteady? Are these sessions just a cycle of failures and lectures? Should I go on?
But the voice in the mirror keeps talking…
“Love, you could never pay for these sins or earn God’s favor. But God has done what we never could. He’s made a rescue...”
As the redemptive truths continue, I’m reminded that God doesn’t give up on his children. His mercy comes to us not just in times of obedience, but in times of failure—and failure again. My kids and I all need a Father who is patient and loving to us. I’m so glad I have a bathroom mirror to remind me.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Living in Contentment Land
“How can they afford to finish their basement or add an addition to their house?” “Why is that family always able to take elaborate vacations while ours consists of sleeping on the floor of a tent?” “My ‘poor’ kids have to buy their own underwear and pay for their own college.” If I don’t guard my heart, I can easily find myself living in discontentment land rather than being satisfied within the boundaries of the pleasant place God has for me.
Contentment is something that I’ve struggled with on and off my entire life. Even in times of prosperity, I can be tempted to compare what I have with others or think that I need something that I don’t. And, it can be especially hard to be content when money is tight when surrounded by others who seem to have unlimited resources. But by the grace of God, I can thank Him for those struggles because He has used them to reveal to me that only God can satisfy my deepest longings and that my true, lasting joy is in Him.
When I’m tempted to be discontent, I try to take control of my thoughts in the following 3 ways:
1. By Being Thankful: Discontentment cannot exist with thankfulness. As soon as my mind begins to think about what others have that I don’t or what I wish that I could purchase, I have to begin recounting God’s goodness to me. As I start mentally listing all that I have to be thankful for, it doesn’t take long until my heart is filled with thankfulness rather than discontentment. Colossians 2:6 - 7
2. By Resting in God’s Sovereignty: The second thing that I’ve learned to do is to rest in God’s perfect provision for our family. I believe that God perfectly portions our income for what he wants to accomplish in our family. There is no way that I can estimate what God is doing in the hearts of my children through the financial “hardships” that they may feel. I don’t need to feel bad for them; I can instead trust God that He’s at work. Proverbs 3:5
3. By Focusing on Eternity: Earth is not my home. Everything that I have or will have will be rubbish. I want to live my life in such a way as to lay up treasures in heaven not on earth. When I can fix my eyes on glory, the things of this earth pale in comparison. Matthew 6:19 - 21
I have a long way to go in conquering the sin of discontentment. There will always be someone who has more or better things to “make” me discontent. I will never have enough stuff, because stuff will never satisfy. I have found, however, by redirecting my gaze, my heart can overflow with joy in all circumstances.
“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” Hebrews 13:5
Contentment is something that I’ve struggled with on and off my entire life. Even in times of prosperity, I can be tempted to compare what I have with others or think that I need something that I don’t. And, it can be especially hard to be content when money is tight when surrounded by others who seem to have unlimited resources. But by the grace of God, I can thank Him for those struggles because He has used them to reveal to me that only God can satisfy my deepest longings and that my true, lasting joy is in Him.
When I’m tempted to be discontent, I try to take control of my thoughts in the following 3 ways:
1. By Being Thankful: Discontentment cannot exist with thankfulness. As soon as my mind begins to think about what others have that I don’t or what I wish that I could purchase, I have to begin recounting God’s goodness to me. As I start mentally listing all that I have to be thankful for, it doesn’t take long until my heart is filled with thankfulness rather than discontentment. Colossians 2:6 - 7
2. By Resting in God’s Sovereignty: The second thing that I’ve learned to do is to rest in God’s perfect provision for our family. I believe that God perfectly portions our income for what he wants to accomplish in our family. There is no way that I can estimate what God is doing in the hearts of my children through the financial “hardships” that they may feel. I don’t need to feel bad for them; I can instead trust God that He’s at work. Proverbs 3:5
3. By Focusing on Eternity: Earth is not my home. Everything that I have or will have will be rubbish. I want to live my life in such a way as to lay up treasures in heaven not on earth. When I can fix my eyes on glory, the things of this earth pale in comparison. Matthew 6:19 - 21
I have a long way to go in conquering the sin of discontentment. There will always be someone who has more or better things to “make” me discontent. I will never have enough stuff, because stuff will never satisfy. I have found, however, by redirecting my gaze, my heart can overflow with joy in all circumstances.
“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” Hebrews 13:5
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
An Enlightened Spelling Lesson for this Teacher
I was in the middle of a spelling lesson with Rosie when she came over to crawl up into my lap and snuggle. I would like to say that I pulled her up into my lap and showered her with loves, but instead I gave her a little lecture and said, “Now, if you were in school, would you be able to just climb into the teacher’s lap in between each spelling word?” She dutifully climbed down with a somber face and got ready for her next word, pencil poised.
My conscience took over quickly and by God’s grace, I recovered and said, “But we’re here and you can crawl into this teacher’s lap because I’m your mom!” Her face lit up and as she came near again, I scooped her into my arms and squeezed her tight, whispering little nothings in her ear – a little recess we both needed.
I didn’t think much more of the whole incident until the next day during my devotions. I read Galatians 4: 6, “And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba, Father!” As I scribbled in my journal some thoughts, I was overwhelmed with the Father’s love for me. It is true that with the Father –child relationship comes authority and truth (sometimes hard truths) and the call to obedience and even discipline. But oh the blessings which attend such a relationship--- the closeness, affection, and encouragement. And finally the commitment and love. He will never walk away but is steadfast towards me as He demonstrated once and for all on the Cross.
I am truly blessed. Despite the trouble which abounds in this sinful world and my own sinful heart, “my Abba, Father,” is Ruler over all of it. What could be a greater reality? It’s not just that He exists or even that He is some relative. He is my Father, personal and dear. That is truly good news and encouragement for this teacher who can never stop being a mom.
My conscience took over quickly and by God’s grace, I recovered and said, “But we’re here and you can crawl into this teacher’s lap because I’m your mom!” Her face lit up and as she came near again, I scooped her into my arms and squeezed her tight, whispering little nothings in her ear – a little recess we both needed.
I didn’t think much more of the whole incident until the next day during my devotions. I read Galatians 4: 6, “And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba, Father!” As I scribbled in my journal some thoughts, I was overwhelmed with the Father’s love for me. It is true that with the Father –child relationship comes authority and truth (sometimes hard truths) and the call to obedience and even discipline. But oh the blessings which attend such a relationship--- the closeness, affection, and encouragement. And finally the commitment and love. He will never walk away but is steadfast towards me as He demonstrated once and for all on the Cross.
I am truly blessed. Despite the trouble which abounds in this sinful world and my own sinful heart, “my Abba, Father,” is Ruler over all of it. What could be a greater reality? It’s not just that He exists or even that He is some relative. He is my Father, personal and dear. That is truly good news and encouragement for this teacher who can never stop being a mom.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Hot Chocolate Explosions
Whoever created flat, un-washable ceiling paint obviously doesn’t like our family.
While I was getting ready for church one Sunday, I heard an explosion-like sound from the kitchen. My six-year-old daughter came bounding up to my bedroom out of breath to give me the full report.
"Mom! Someone was making hot chocolate (big gasp for air) and it spilled."
(Hmmm. Since when do spills sound like an explosion?)
"They cleaned it up… but it got on the ceiling (waiting for my reaction). They're trying to wash it off."
(Wash it off? Hot chocolate? On the ceiling??)
On my kitchen ceiling are handprints, spaghetti sauce splotches, water marks, and other miscellaneous splatters, so I shouldn't have been shocked to learn of the hot chocolate stains. However, the question that I still had to face at that moment was how was I going to respond when I walked downstairs?
So often my flesh takes over and I end up responding to these kinds of (daily) circumstances in a rash, unkind way (i.e. yelling and lecturing.) But in this particular moment the Lord reminded me of a lesson that I learned several years ago as our family walked through a trial. In my journal I wrote:
"I have an opportunity to be a sweet fragrance to my children through the circumstances of my life. What a privilege to disciple my children in trusting God as I react to unpleasant circumstances in a way that glorifies and trusts Him. I can't see this role as insignificant. This Christ-like responding is my calling right now. I can't be looking for a bigger calling or a more glamorous calling… this is my calling - to respond like Christ in my home. What volumes I will be teaching my kids!"
"Through this trial, I feel like the Lord has given me a new picture of my purpose in life as a mother. It's not to "do, do, do" (things that are outwardly rewarding and seemingly spiritual), but simply to "be" a reflection of Christ as I depend on Him."
When I walked into the kitchen that Sunday morning, not only was there hot chocolate on the ceiling, my feet stuck to the floor and there were traces of hot chocolate in the drawers, the countertops and on the cupboard doors. I was thankful that the Holy Spirit reminded me about my calling to represent Christ to my children as I responded to this crisis moment and to ask Him for help.
With 7 kids in my home, I face situations like this multiple times each day. Though I feel like I fail to respond in a godly manner more times than I succeed, I'm grateful that the Holy Spirit is at work making me aware of His high calling for me as a mother.
May the Lord give us strength to respond in a way that gives Him glory and that teaches our children that we can joyfully trust Him in all circumstances – even in the midst of hot chocolate explosions.
"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:19
While I was getting ready for church one Sunday, I heard an explosion-like sound from the kitchen. My six-year-old daughter came bounding up to my bedroom out of breath to give me the full report.
"Mom! Someone was making hot chocolate (big gasp for air) and it spilled."
(Hmmm. Since when do spills sound like an explosion?)
"They cleaned it up… but it got on the ceiling (waiting for my reaction). They're trying to wash it off."
(Wash it off? Hot chocolate? On the ceiling??)
On my kitchen ceiling are handprints, spaghetti sauce splotches, water marks, and other miscellaneous splatters, so I shouldn't have been shocked to learn of the hot chocolate stains. However, the question that I still had to face at that moment was how was I going to respond when I walked downstairs?
So often my flesh takes over and I end up responding to these kinds of (daily) circumstances in a rash, unkind way (i.e. yelling and lecturing.) But in this particular moment the Lord reminded me of a lesson that I learned several years ago as our family walked through a trial. In my journal I wrote:
"I have an opportunity to be a sweet fragrance to my children through the circumstances of my life. What a privilege to disciple my children in trusting God as I react to unpleasant circumstances in a way that glorifies and trusts Him. I can't see this role as insignificant. This Christ-like responding is my calling right now. I can't be looking for a bigger calling or a more glamorous calling… this is my calling - to respond like Christ in my home. What volumes I will be teaching my kids!"
"Through this trial, I feel like the Lord has given me a new picture of my purpose in life as a mother. It's not to "do, do, do" (things that are outwardly rewarding and seemingly spiritual), but simply to "be" a reflection of Christ as I depend on Him."
When I walked into the kitchen that Sunday morning, not only was there hot chocolate on the ceiling, my feet stuck to the floor and there were traces of hot chocolate in the drawers, the countertops and on the cupboard doors. I was thankful that the Holy Spirit reminded me about my calling to represent Christ to my children as I responded to this crisis moment and to ask Him for help.
With 7 kids in my home, I face situations like this multiple times each day. Though I feel like I fail to respond in a godly manner more times than I succeed, I'm grateful that the Holy Spirit is at work making me aware of His high calling for me as a mother.
May the Lord give us strength to respond in a way that gives Him glory and that teaches our children that we can joyfully trust Him in all circumstances – even in the midst of hot chocolate explosions.
"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:19
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Pray Together
When you think of prayer, what comes to your mind first – a quiet time alone with God – your own personal ‘prayer closet’? Or a prayer meeting? We often judge our prayer life based on how many minutes a day we spend in private prayer. But did you know that the overwhelming number of references to prayer in the Bible speak of gathering together with others for prayer? Theologian Timothy Chester brings us a helpful adjustment from his book "The Message of Prayer".
“It is sometimes said that good private prayer is the foundation of good corporate prayer, but it may be more biblical to say that that corporate prayer is the foundation of private prayer. Our experience of God in Christ is corporate. Western individualism has made the individual alone with God the centre of spirituality. For the people of the Bible it is the relationship between God and his people that is central. Personal prayer revolves around this common experience-not the other way around." (p.153)
As you go into your Community Group prayer time this week, don’t go thinking that you haven’t done enough private prayer to prepare you for praying in your group. Rather, see your Community Group prayer (or any prayer with God’s people) as a sound biblical starting point for renewed pursuit of personal prayer. As Jude encourages the gathered church in his letter,
But you, beloved, build yourselves up in your most holy faith; pray in the Holy Spirit; keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. (Jude 20-21)
“It is sometimes said that good private prayer is the foundation of good corporate prayer, but it may be more biblical to say that that corporate prayer is the foundation of private prayer. Our experience of God in Christ is corporate. Western individualism has made the individual alone with God the centre of spirituality. For the people of the Bible it is the relationship between God and his people that is central. Personal prayer revolves around this common experience-not the other way around." (p.153)
As you go into your Community Group prayer time this week, don’t go thinking that you haven’t done enough private prayer to prepare you for praying in your group. Rather, see your Community Group prayer (or any prayer with God’s people) as a sound biblical starting point for renewed pursuit of personal prayer. As Jude encourages the gathered church in his letter,
But you, beloved, build yourselves up in your most holy faith; pray in the Holy Spirit; keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. (Jude 20-21)
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
God's Tapestry
She desperately wanted to have a child. And to make matters worse, her rival, who had many children, "provoked her year after year in order to irritate her" (1 Samuel 1:5). So great was her longing that she wept much and prayed to the Lord. Why, she probably asked, did God not answer the cry of her heart? God in His timing did answer Hannah's prayer. As a matter of fact, He answered it in a much greater way than she probably ever dreamed. Her son Samuel became God's instrument in His marvelous plan of redemption.
Over and over again I'm reminded that my vantage point is so limited. We want what we want when we want it. From our limited view, we think that the best thing is to have our prayers answered immediately. We become distressed when a month passes with no answer and can begin to feel hopeless when years go by without change. It may be that we too long for a child, for a better job for our husband, to move into a bigger house, for a child to give his/her heart to the Savior, for a loved one to be healed…
Looking back, I remember those times when I prayed that we would get a specific house only to find that our offer was not accepted. I've prayed that my husband would get a promising job, yet he was passed over. I've prayed for a child to be healed, but she was not. Looking back, I can see that God had better plans for me – but how difficult it was to trust God in the midst of the longing.
The story of Hannah's life encourages me in several ways. Through the wait, God increased Hannah's pursuit of God. Out of desperation, Hannah pressed relentlessly into God. And as she did, He changed her heart. Each time God puts a longing in my heart, it causes me to press into Him. As I think of a current longing that I am facing, Hannah's story infuses me with faith. I've been praying for a certain situation for years, and I can tend to become discouraged. But, the Lord has kept me from losing faith; He's kept me pressing into Him. He draws my heart to Him each day as I pray that my heart's desire would be answered.
Through the story of Hannah's life I'm helped to see my circumstance through the lens of faith. There's much more at stake than the immediate answer to my prayer. God is weaving my longings and the cry of my heart into the tapestry of His purposes for something greater than I can even dream of. As I daily cry out to God to answer this longing, I have great hope that not only will He someday answer, but that His answer will come at a time and in a way that will bring the most glory to His name. He will use my prayers that He caused me to pray to bring about a greater purpose than I ever dreamed. Not only will He answer in His perfect way and in His perfect time, he's using this circumstance to change me, to grow my faith and to help me to rest in Him.
I'm sure that Hannah had no idea that God wanted to use her yet-to-be conceived son to change the course of Israel's history. But God gave her those strong desires so that she would persistently cry out to Him and dedicate her son to His service. Be encouraged that God can see the whole picture. We see only a tiny piece, but we can rest in the fact that God has bigger things in mind for us than we can ask or imagine.
Over and over again I'm reminded that my vantage point is so limited. We want what we want when we want it. From our limited view, we think that the best thing is to have our prayers answered immediately. We become distressed when a month passes with no answer and can begin to feel hopeless when years go by without change. It may be that we too long for a child, for a better job for our husband, to move into a bigger house, for a child to give his/her heart to the Savior, for a loved one to be healed…
Looking back, I remember those times when I prayed that we would get a specific house only to find that our offer was not accepted. I've prayed that my husband would get a promising job, yet he was passed over. I've prayed for a child to be healed, but she was not. Looking back, I can see that God had better plans for me – but how difficult it was to trust God in the midst of the longing.
The story of Hannah's life encourages me in several ways. Through the wait, God increased Hannah's pursuit of God. Out of desperation, Hannah pressed relentlessly into God. And as she did, He changed her heart. Each time God puts a longing in my heart, it causes me to press into Him. As I think of a current longing that I am facing, Hannah's story infuses me with faith. I've been praying for a certain situation for years, and I can tend to become discouraged. But, the Lord has kept me from losing faith; He's kept me pressing into Him. He draws my heart to Him each day as I pray that my heart's desire would be answered.
Through the story of Hannah's life I'm helped to see my circumstance through the lens of faith. There's much more at stake than the immediate answer to my prayer. God is weaving my longings and the cry of my heart into the tapestry of His purposes for something greater than I can even dream of. As I daily cry out to God to answer this longing, I have great hope that not only will He someday answer, but that His answer will come at a time and in a way that will bring the most glory to His name. He will use my prayers that He caused me to pray to bring about a greater purpose than I ever dreamed. Not only will He answer in His perfect way and in His perfect time, he's using this circumstance to change me, to grow my faith and to help me to rest in Him.
I'm sure that Hannah had no idea that God wanted to use her yet-to-be conceived son to change the course of Israel's history. But God gave her those strong desires so that she would persistently cry out to Him and dedicate her son to His service. Be encouraged that God can see the whole picture. We see only a tiny piece, but we can rest in the fact that God has bigger things in mind for us than we can ask or imagine.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Shopping, an Adventure in Marriage
Editor’s note: Andrea submitted this blog last Christmas but we didn’t get the chance to use it. But she told me that this is becoming their new tradition.
As I stuffed the gifts under my bed, I couldn’t believe David and I had just spent the whole day shopping together—a first in our 25 years of marriage! I have always done the majority of the Christmas shopping for our family, but this year, I was not able to get out there and do the early bird thing. So I asked David if he would be willing to take one of his vacation days and go with me. The look on his face said it all; but then he quickly recovered and agreed to go. We started the day at eight am and headed for Lowe’s. Within 3 minutes (give or take), David found some cool gadgets for the men in our extended family and then headed for the register.
Now David is disposed toward decisiveness and efficiency, a quality I’ve always liked in him – except for times such as this. I tend to mull over things, compare, evaluate, and analyze. Some say I go overboard trying to get just the right thing at the right price, which can make shopping with me a “prisoner of war” type experience. I can’t imagine how they come to that conclusion.
As we sat in the car looking over our shopping list, I started to get this uncomfortable feeling that David might not be the asset I thought he’d be. Without much thought, I offered him an “observation,” mumbling something about missing evangelism opportunities if we did things his way. Mercifully, he did not expose my attempt to manipulate and listened with a gentle smile. I was experiencing our differences acutely at that moment, and I had a choice on how to respond. Could I joyfully follow my husband’s leadership and wisdom, or would I battle for supremacy? By God’s grace, I did not press the issue and we went onto the next store. We were there a little longer, say about 10 minutes And so went the day. As we traveled to each place, we talked over ideas, laughed, and bantered with each other—all still at a nice pace. By the afternoon, we were sitting in a restaurant counting our receipts, and I couldn’t believe we were almost done. It was amazing to me – for I would have traditionally spread this event out over weeks and over budget.
As I recounted the day (which by the way, I thoroughly enjoyed), I marveled at the grace of God to use our differences as the source of joy between us that day rather than as a joy extinguisher. We, as well as close friends of ours, would be the first to tell you that there are many times when both of us have made different choices in our words and actions toward one another, and still do, but God has been so merciful to us a couple. His amazing grace first saves us and then “teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” (Titus 2:12) And in the context of relationships, in this case our marriage which God has so graciously given us to enjoy, that results in forbearance, harmony, and love, which in turn reflects His character and brings the glory to Him!
And a wonderful day of shopping!
As I stuffed the gifts under my bed, I couldn’t believe David and I had just spent the whole day shopping together—a first in our 25 years of marriage! I have always done the majority of the Christmas shopping for our family, but this year, I was not able to get out there and do the early bird thing. So I asked David if he would be willing to take one of his vacation days and go with me. The look on his face said it all; but then he quickly recovered and agreed to go. We started the day at eight am and headed for Lowe’s. Within 3 minutes (give or take), David found some cool gadgets for the men in our extended family and then headed for the register.
Now David is disposed toward decisiveness and efficiency, a quality I’ve always liked in him – except for times such as this. I tend to mull over things, compare, evaluate, and analyze. Some say I go overboard trying to get just the right thing at the right price, which can make shopping with me a “prisoner of war” type experience. I can’t imagine how they come to that conclusion.
As we sat in the car looking over our shopping list, I started to get this uncomfortable feeling that David might not be the asset I thought he’d be. Without much thought, I offered him an “observation,” mumbling something about missing evangelism opportunities if we did things his way. Mercifully, he did not expose my attempt to manipulate and listened with a gentle smile. I was experiencing our differences acutely at that moment, and I had a choice on how to respond. Could I joyfully follow my husband’s leadership and wisdom, or would I battle for supremacy? By God’s grace, I did not press the issue and we went onto the next store. We were there a little longer, say about 10 minutes And so went the day. As we traveled to each place, we talked over ideas, laughed, and bantered with each other—all still at a nice pace. By the afternoon, we were sitting in a restaurant counting our receipts, and I couldn’t believe we were almost done. It was amazing to me – for I would have traditionally spread this event out over weeks and over budget.
As I recounted the day (which by the way, I thoroughly enjoyed), I marveled at the grace of God to use our differences as the source of joy between us that day rather than as a joy extinguisher. We, as well as close friends of ours, would be the first to tell you that there are many times when both of us have made different choices in our words and actions toward one another, and still do, but God has been so merciful to us a couple. His amazing grace first saves us and then “teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” (Titus 2:12) And in the context of relationships, in this case our marriage which God has so graciously given us to enjoy, that results in forbearance, harmony, and love, which in turn reflects His character and brings the glory to Him!
And a wonderful day of shopping!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Stress Reducer
Hi Ladies, Andy here. I know this is a hectic season – eight more shopping days till Christmas! So in a very kind pastoral gesture, I’m going to add a little levity to your busy week. I got this from the Girl Talk blog, so it has already been approved for female consumption. It’s pretty funny, too.
A cop pulls over a blonde, and says, “Ma’am, you were speeding. May I please see your driver’s license?”
“Oh, well, you see officer, I don’t have a drivers license,” the blonde replies. “I never really had the time to go to the DMV and stand for hours in line…and anyway, all you get are terrible pictures.” The slightly taken aback cop says, “Well, then, may I see your proof of registration?"
“Well, officer,” the blonde says, “this isn’t my car. I wanted to borrow it from my neighbor, because it’s so much faster than mine and I was late for a wedding – that’s why I was speeding – but he said no really rudely, so I hit him over the head with a tire iron and stuffed him in the trunk.”
The horrified police officer backs away and calls for backup, and the police chief himself comes out, along with a squad, to see about this.
“Ma’am,” says the chief, “may I see your driver’s license?” The blonde hands it to him and it hasn’t expired or anything, everything’s okay. “May I see your proof of registration?” The blonde hands that to him, and it’s her car, and everything’s okay. “I hate to bother you,” the chief says, “but may I look in your trunk?”
So she pops the trunk and there’s nothing in there. The chief comes back to her window. “We’re sorry, ma’am. The officer over there said that you didn’t have a driver’s license, this wasn’t your car, and that you’d killed a man.”
“You know what,” says the blonde, “I bet he told you I was speeding, too.”
HT: girltalk.blogs.com
Your regular bloggers will be back next week!
A cop pulls over a blonde, and says, “Ma’am, you were speeding. May I please see your driver’s license?”
“Oh, well, you see officer, I don’t have a drivers license,” the blonde replies. “I never really had the time to go to the DMV and stand for hours in line…and anyway, all you get are terrible pictures.” The slightly taken aback cop says, “Well, then, may I see your proof of registration?"
“Well, officer,” the blonde says, “this isn’t my car. I wanted to borrow it from my neighbor, because it’s so much faster than mine and I was late for a wedding – that’s why I was speeding – but he said no really rudely, so I hit him over the head with a tire iron and stuffed him in the trunk.”
The horrified police officer backs away and calls for backup, and the police chief himself comes out, along with a squad, to see about this.
“Ma’am,” says the chief, “may I see your driver’s license?” The blonde hands it to him and it hasn’t expired or anything, everything’s okay. “May I see your proof of registration?” The blonde hands that to him, and it’s her car, and everything’s okay. “I hate to bother you,” the chief says, “but may I look in your trunk?”
So she pops the trunk and there’s nothing in there. The chief comes back to her window. “We’re sorry, ma’am. The officer over there said that you didn’t have a driver’s license, this wasn’t your car, and that you’d killed a man.”
“You know what,” says the blonde, “I bet he told you I was speeding, too.”
HT: girltalk.blogs.com
Your regular bloggers will be back next week!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Forever tied to my Savior…
Recently I tried to teach my two youngest children to play “Cat’s Cradle”, a game played by two people using a loop of string with their hands to complete a series of weaving moves to make a cradle-like design. The first child caught on instantly and we enjoyed several rounds of weaving the intricate moves together. What a sense of accomplishment to see the finished design! Not so for the other, who despite repeated attempts and instruction just couldn’t get it. We’re talking knots, hanging loops, and tangles. And because two people are required to hold the strings and make the moves, my “hands were tied” (literally!) from completing the beautiful design.
Later that day as I looked back and laughed at the humorous results of trying to play the game with a seven year old, I heard the Lord whisper ever so gently, ‘aren’t you glad that I hold the strings of your life?’ What a striking thought as I remembered my frustrated efforts in the mess of fingers and string. And what a gracious God to so readily remind that His hands are never tied! My game may have been frustrated by my child’s inability to learn the moves, but in ‘real life’ nothing can rob me of my well being. The Lord forever holds me in his hands and nothing can steal my joy. The Lord has not given the strings of my life to another…they are forever tied to Him.
In John 16:22, Jesus, while looking ahead to the cross, declared to his disciples, “So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” “No one will take your joy from you” …my joy and well being come not from my circumstances or my own accomplishments, and they are not ruined by trial or the sin of another. They come from my Savior who redeemed me with his very own blood on the cross, and they are forever mine.
How often do we let a difficult day, or a disobedient child, or an unmet desire rob us of our joy? Why not “tie a string” around your finger to remember that it is our Savior who holds the strings of our lives, and let’s purpose to let nothing rob us of the joy that is irrevocably ours in our salvation.
Later that day as I looked back and laughed at the humorous results of trying to play the game with a seven year old, I heard the Lord whisper ever so gently, ‘aren’t you glad that I hold the strings of your life?’ What a striking thought as I remembered my frustrated efforts in the mess of fingers and string. And what a gracious God to so readily remind that His hands are never tied! My game may have been frustrated by my child’s inability to learn the moves, but in ‘real life’ nothing can rob me of my well being. The Lord forever holds me in his hands and nothing can steal my joy. The Lord has not given the strings of my life to another…they are forever tied to Him.
In John 16:22, Jesus, while looking ahead to the cross, declared to his disciples, “So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” “No one will take your joy from you” …my joy and well being come not from my circumstances or my own accomplishments, and they are not ruined by trial or the sin of another. They come from my Savior who redeemed me with his very own blood on the cross, and they are forever mine.
How often do we let a difficult day, or a disobedient child, or an unmet desire rob us of our joy? Why not “tie a string” around your finger to remember that it is our Savior who holds the strings of our lives, and let’s purpose to let nothing rob us of the joy that is irrevocably ours in our salvation.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Following the Thread
Beauty has a magnetic affect. A gorgeous sunset, a powerful piece of music, great art—they draw us in. The longing in our souls for something higher, better, unlike ourselves, primes us to want more of it. But if I’m not careful, they can draw me into the thing itself instead of into its author, the Eternal God. The emotions and longings the roaring ocean evokes in me can lead me to become a lover of nature, rather than a lover of God. The inspiration that floods the soul after a good play or a great book or a lovely song can make me a lover of theater or literature or music—only. My temporal nature gets lazy and stops at the creation instead of following the golden thread back to its Source, the Master Creator, Singer, Writer, Composer. God is the source of all joy.
A friend and I were commenting on the media’s growing ability to control our emotions. Our conversation turned toward the widely acclaimed Lord of the Rings movie trilogy. The majestic, almost magical quality surrounding the character of Aragorn in Lord of the Rings attracts us. There is something right in the royalty this earthy man carries in his veins. Hollywood has done its job well to portray something utterly convincing and attractive to us.
But do we trace the thread? Do those majestic, triumphant feelings meet us again in our times with the Lord the next morning? Do we marvel that no beauty on earth is unsurpassed in heaven? Does our breath quicken as we consider that the magic and mystery of Tolkien’s characters are paper dolls compared to the blazing glory of our God? Did the slashing royal sword bearing the name Sting raise our adrenaline in the theater seat? Sting would crumble to pieces before the sword described in Revelation, wielded by the One called Faithful and True. He is the Rider of the white horse, whose eyes are a flame of fire and who is crowned with many crowns, the one who is followed by all the armies of heaven.
I’m always grateful for the reminders that Jesus is not an androgynous figure in a white gown surrounded by lambs. He’s not a good luck charm or a wise teacher or a distant deity. He is fearful and beautiful, holy and glorious. And amazingly, He has descended from his throne to purchase my hopeless soul, declaring me not only a subject, but a sister, an heir, a beloved.
The most powerful emotion, longing, joy, or inspiration, is a long-cast shadow from heaven, meant to point us to the Beautiful One.
A friend and I were commenting on the media’s growing ability to control our emotions. Our conversation turned toward the widely acclaimed Lord of the Rings movie trilogy. The majestic, almost magical quality surrounding the character of Aragorn in Lord of the Rings attracts us. There is something right in the royalty this earthy man carries in his veins. Hollywood has done its job well to portray something utterly convincing and attractive to us.
But do we trace the thread? Do those majestic, triumphant feelings meet us again in our times with the Lord the next morning? Do we marvel that no beauty on earth is unsurpassed in heaven? Does our breath quicken as we consider that the magic and mystery of Tolkien’s characters are paper dolls compared to the blazing glory of our God? Did the slashing royal sword bearing the name Sting raise our adrenaline in the theater seat? Sting would crumble to pieces before the sword described in Revelation, wielded by the One called Faithful and True. He is the Rider of the white horse, whose eyes are a flame of fire and who is crowned with many crowns, the one who is followed by all the armies of heaven.
I’m always grateful for the reminders that Jesus is not an androgynous figure in a white gown surrounded by lambs. He’s not a good luck charm or a wise teacher or a distant deity. He is fearful and beautiful, holy and glorious. And amazingly, He has descended from his throne to purchase my hopeless soul, declaring me not only a subject, but a sister, an heir, a beloved.
The most powerful emotion, longing, joy, or inspiration, is a long-cast shadow from heaven, meant to point us to the Beautiful One.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Random Acts of Hospitality
I'm not a very spontaneous person. My husband on the other hand is Mr. Spontaneity himself. So when it comes to hospitality, we don’t always start out in the same place.
When I think of hospitality, I think of contacting the people we want to have over and putting a date on the calendar for some time in the future. Or, if I really want to challenge my spontaneous side, I'll prepare on Saturday and then "spontaneously" ask someone over on Sunday morning.
Jeff, however, has begun a new trend. For the second time, in what I perceive as the second of many, Jeff turned to me at the end of the church service and said, "What are we having for lunch today? I want to invite this couple in front of us home for lunch." (May I add a couple we've never met?) A petrified feeling came over me as I answered, "Uh, maybe Ramen noodles?" thinking also of the shambles we left our house in that morning. Jeff sensing my distress (maybe by the color that drained from my face) said, "What about dessert instead?"
As the service closed, Jeff tapped the young couple sitting in front of us, introduced himself, and then asked them if they wanted to come to our house for dessert later in the evening. When they asked what they could bring, he simply said - your testimonies.
Lately we've been sensing the need to be more intentional in our practice of hospitality. We want to engage our guests together as a family and draw our kids into the conversations. We also want to focus a portion of our time to listening to how the Lord is working in the lives of others.
After playing a game with this young couple as a family, our guests each shared their testimony. One son of ours, in particular, was touched and was able to relate to the young man's journey. The Lord used this random act of hospitality to speak into his life just when he needed it most. And, we don't yet know the effect that this couple's testimonies along with the others that have been shared in our home have had in the lives of our other kids.
So recently when I saw Jeff talking to yet another young couple (whom I didn't know) at a wedding, I knew what was coming. "What are we doing tomorrow night?” Jeff asked me. "I just invited them over for dessert."
There is nothing wrong with planning for times of hospitality (I have several dates on the calendar), but may I encourage you to be open to spontaneously inviting people into your home even if it's just for dessert? And don't forget to ask them to bring their testimonies.
When I think of hospitality, I think of contacting the people we want to have over and putting a date on the calendar for some time in the future. Or, if I really want to challenge my spontaneous side, I'll prepare on Saturday and then "spontaneously" ask someone over on Sunday morning.
Jeff, however, has begun a new trend. For the second time, in what I perceive as the second of many, Jeff turned to me at the end of the church service and said, "What are we having for lunch today? I want to invite this couple in front of us home for lunch." (May I add a couple we've never met?) A petrified feeling came over me as I answered, "Uh, maybe Ramen noodles?" thinking also of the shambles we left our house in that morning. Jeff sensing my distress (maybe by the color that drained from my face) said, "What about dessert instead?"
As the service closed, Jeff tapped the young couple sitting in front of us, introduced himself, and then asked them if they wanted to come to our house for dessert later in the evening. When they asked what they could bring, he simply said - your testimonies.
Lately we've been sensing the need to be more intentional in our practice of hospitality. We want to engage our guests together as a family and draw our kids into the conversations. We also want to focus a portion of our time to listening to how the Lord is working in the lives of others.
After playing a game with this young couple as a family, our guests each shared their testimony. One son of ours, in particular, was touched and was able to relate to the young man's journey. The Lord used this random act of hospitality to speak into his life just when he needed it most. And, we don't yet know the effect that this couple's testimonies along with the others that have been shared in our home have had in the lives of our other kids.
So recently when I saw Jeff talking to yet another young couple (whom I didn't know) at a wedding, I knew what was coming. "What are we doing tomorrow night?” Jeff asked me. "I just invited them over for dessert."
There is nothing wrong with planning for times of hospitality (I have several dates on the calendar), but may I encourage you to be open to spontaneously inviting people into your home even if it's just for dessert? And don't forget to ask them to bring their testimonies.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
On the Ideal Woman
I am a regular reader of the blog Girltalk which is written by Carolyn Mahaney and her married daughters- Nicole, Kristen and Janelle. On October 6, 2008 their post was entitled “The Ideal Woman.” In my sin, I thought, oh yeah, here is my nemesis- that Proverbs 31 woman. I have been married over 28 years and have been a believer for longer than that; how much more can I read about her? But because I am so regularly provoked in my walk by what they post, I kept reading. Here are a couple of snippets from that first day:
She’s strong; she’s wise; she’s godly. And she’s intimidating.
For that reason, we sometimes avoid the Proverbs 31 woman! If we were at a party with characters from the Bible, most of us would probably rather hang out with some of the more “flawed” women: Sarah who laughed at God’s promises, or Rebekah who was deceptive, or Martha who was rebuked by our Lord.
The very next day, their post was titled The Proverbs 31 Wife.- She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12). Here is what Nicole said on that day:
“Doing Your Husband Good” wouldn’t play well on the cover of a woman’s magazine these days. In the aftermath of the feminist movement, motherhood has made a comeback, and even domesticity has regained popularity, but the role of a wife as portrayed in the Bible remains repulsive.
Kristen shared the following a few days later: First, take a look--Who is the one designed and appointed to bring my husband good? It’s none other then me! Many people may be a blessing to my husband, but as his wife, I have been created, fashioned and designed to be the most effective at bringing my husband good.”
Why is this important? They go on to show how our doing good to our husbands is a powerful display of the Gospel to a fallen world.
Already the Lord was at work in my own heart. He was gently bringing back to my mind, my husband’s comment from last night about how he likes all the window blinds open or how he really liked it better when I hang his shirts a certain way. At the time, in my sinful heart, I was thinking- yeah, yeah- it is really just a preference issue, but the Lord began to show me how in the little things I was not doing my husband good.
Ladies- if you are like me, I need a provoking reminder of what the Word has called me to do. It is so easy with all of the many things in our lives as women- motherhood, housework, Biblical fellowship, serving in the church, reaching out to our neighbors, caring for our parents etc to lose sight of what our first priority is!
Girltalk offered some great perspective on how to do our husbands good for a lot of different marriage situations. Here are just a few examples: A Woman of Action, Good with Her Gifts (even if it is Laundry)’; ‘Doing Good In a Difficult Marriage’; and ‘When I Don’t Want to Do Him Good’. They are even compiling a list of creative ways to do our husbands good!
Let’s take a moment as wives to ask the Lord to help us be doers of His Word. Take some time over the next few days to read the posts at Girltalk and allow the Lord to give you some ideas of ways that you can grow as a Proverbs 31 wife. Whether you are newly married or married for many, many years, I know that the Lord will be faithful as He has been with me to give you creative ways to do “your husband good.”
She’s strong; she’s wise; she’s godly. And she’s intimidating.
For that reason, we sometimes avoid the Proverbs 31 woman! If we were at a party with characters from the Bible, most of us would probably rather hang out with some of the more “flawed” women: Sarah who laughed at God’s promises, or Rebekah who was deceptive, or Martha who was rebuked by our Lord.
The very next day, their post was titled The Proverbs 31 Wife.- She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12). Here is what Nicole said on that day:
“Doing Your Husband Good” wouldn’t play well on the cover of a woman’s magazine these days. In the aftermath of the feminist movement, motherhood has made a comeback, and even domesticity has regained popularity, but the role of a wife as portrayed in the Bible remains repulsive.
Kristen shared the following a few days later: First, take a look--Who is the one designed and appointed to bring my husband good? It’s none other then me! Many people may be a blessing to my husband, but as his wife, I have been created, fashioned and designed to be the most effective at bringing my husband good.”
Why is this important? They go on to show how our doing good to our husbands is a powerful display of the Gospel to a fallen world.
Already the Lord was at work in my own heart. He was gently bringing back to my mind, my husband’s comment from last night about how he likes all the window blinds open or how he really liked it better when I hang his shirts a certain way. At the time, in my sinful heart, I was thinking- yeah, yeah- it is really just a preference issue, but the Lord began to show me how in the little things I was not doing my husband good.
Ladies- if you are like me, I need a provoking reminder of what the Word has called me to do. It is so easy with all of the many things in our lives as women- motherhood, housework, Biblical fellowship, serving in the church, reaching out to our neighbors, caring for our parents etc to lose sight of what our first priority is!
Girltalk offered some great perspective on how to do our husbands good for a lot of different marriage situations. Here are just a few examples: A Woman of Action, Good with Her Gifts (even if it is Laundry)’; ‘Doing Good In a Difficult Marriage’; and ‘When I Don’t Want to Do Him Good’. They are even compiling a list of creative ways to do our husbands good!
Let’s take a moment as wives to ask the Lord to help us be doers of His Word. Take some time over the next few days to read the posts at Girltalk and allow the Lord to give you some ideas of ways that you can grow as a Proverbs 31 wife. Whether you are newly married or married for many, many years, I know that the Lord will be faithful as He has been with me to give you creative ways to do “your husband good.”
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Uprooting those Weeds!
A little fable of this past summer.
I took a good look at my front yard, and the weeds were doing a splendid job at what they do. I knew I needed to get in there soon and clear them out. It’s a hot, tiring, and back-breaking job - not one of my favorite things to do! But God had an additional weeding assignment for me that day as well. Let me explain. I had a coffee date with my oldest daughter, Sarah. As we sat down, we both knew we might touch on a recurring topic upon which we disagreed. And so we did very shortly. We talked amiably, but the tension mounted. There seemed to be no bridge in sight. I felt as though I had some wisdom that she needed, so I continued to press my point and give multiple examples that I thought would persuade her. When that didn’t work, I pulled out the “I am still your mother” card and wielded my authority. That kind of shut things down as one would expect, so we left Starbucks quiet and at odds.
I discussed the matter with my husband when I got home and let down my guard a little more. Consequently, my anger became more noticeable, and I even turned it towards him at certain moments. I went to bed troubled, and the next morning during my devotions I was still angry. As I sat there, Bible in hand, a muscle spasm went down my neck and back like a tightened rubber band. Now I was in pain and angry! I cried out to the Lord for help and his forgiving and enabling grace.
Later that day, I was reading the book, "Uprooting Anger", by Robert D. Jones, and I came to the well-known passage in James 4:1 “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” My passions, or as Jones calls them “ruling desires,” were at the root of my anger. In this case, I wanted – or rather demanded – Sarah’s agreement and eager compliance. It wasn’t so much that my desire itself was wrong. I truly still believe that I was offering her biblical wisdom. It’s just that this desire for her to embrace that wisdom and change accordingly had become something I could not live without. Jones calls it “God-playing,” which is declaring that “my kingdom has come and my will be done.” In my heart, I was desiring to rule Sarah and the situation, and now ironically this desire was ruling me.
As I read further, I came to the rest of that passage in James, verse 6 “But He gives us more grace” –one of the most wonderful passages in the Bible. So, I prayed for more grace to enable me to submit my desires to the Lord and lay them down before His throne. I claimed one of the prayers in Jones’ book and made it my own, “Lord, I don’t have to have these things. I realize that in Christ I don’t need them, although I often live as though I do. Father, forgive me. Thank you for the blood of Jesus your Son that paid for all my sins...” As Jones suggested, I also took time to meditate and ask myself, “How does God want me to deal with this situation the next time it occurs?” I want to uproot this ruling desire that fuels my anger. Interestingly enough, I did weed my garden that day—uprooting weed after weed. I hope that’s a sign that I’m on the right track.
What are your ruling desires? Does your garden need a little weeding as well? Read James 4, and I heartily recommend Jones’ book. May you find God’s grace abundant as you explore your heart and your garden.
I took a good look at my front yard, and the weeds were doing a splendid job at what they do. I knew I needed to get in there soon and clear them out. It’s a hot, tiring, and back-breaking job - not one of my favorite things to do! But God had an additional weeding assignment for me that day as well. Let me explain. I had a coffee date with my oldest daughter, Sarah. As we sat down, we both knew we might touch on a recurring topic upon which we disagreed. And so we did very shortly. We talked amiably, but the tension mounted. There seemed to be no bridge in sight. I felt as though I had some wisdom that she needed, so I continued to press my point and give multiple examples that I thought would persuade her. When that didn’t work, I pulled out the “I am still your mother” card and wielded my authority. That kind of shut things down as one would expect, so we left Starbucks quiet and at odds.
I discussed the matter with my husband when I got home and let down my guard a little more. Consequently, my anger became more noticeable, and I even turned it towards him at certain moments. I went to bed troubled, and the next morning during my devotions I was still angry. As I sat there, Bible in hand, a muscle spasm went down my neck and back like a tightened rubber band. Now I was in pain and angry! I cried out to the Lord for help and his forgiving and enabling grace.
Later that day, I was reading the book, "Uprooting Anger", by Robert D. Jones, and I came to the well-known passage in James 4:1 “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” My passions, or as Jones calls them “ruling desires,” were at the root of my anger. In this case, I wanted – or rather demanded – Sarah’s agreement and eager compliance. It wasn’t so much that my desire itself was wrong. I truly still believe that I was offering her biblical wisdom. It’s just that this desire for her to embrace that wisdom and change accordingly had become something I could not live without. Jones calls it “God-playing,” which is declaring that “my kingdom has come and my will be done.” In my heart, I was desiring to rule Sarah and the situation, and now ironically this desire was ruling me.
As I read further, I came to the rest of that passage in James, verse 6 “But He gives us more grace” –one of the most wonderful passages in the Bible. So, I prayed for more grace to enable me to submit my desires to the Lord and lay them down before His throne. I claimed one of the prayers in Jones’ book and made it my own, “Lord, I don’t have to have these things. I realize that in Christ I don’t need them, although I often live as though I do. Father, forgive me. Thank you for the blood of Jesus your Son that paid for all my sins...” As Jones suggested, I also took time to meditate and ask myself, “How does God want me to deal with this situation the next time it occurs?” I want to uproot this ruling desire that fuels my anger. Interestingly enough, I did weed my garden that day—uprooting weed after weed. I hope that’s a sign that I’m on the right track.
What are your ruling desires? Does your garden need a little weeding as well? Read James 4, and I heartily recommend Jones’ book. May you find God’s grace abundant as you explore your heart and your garden.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
How do I say, “I love you…?”
I did something unpredictable today…I made breakfast for my family on a weekday. That is unusual. We normally do “serve yourself” cereal and toast during the week, but on this particular morning my family woke up to the smell of baked oatmeal and enjoyed it as an additional choice. Though this was a small effort for me, perhaps an additional 5-6 minutes from mixing bowl to oven, it was a huge deal to my family. And I’ve been pondering why. I think that even more significant than what I did is the fact that I surprised them with something, and it communicated “I love you” in a special way—more special than mere words.
As wives and mothers, we can get so caught up in the routines and busy-ness of our lives that we forget how important it is to communicate our affections to our families. Words are important—we should never cease telling our families just how much we love them. But how much more effective when we demonstrate that love in a special way! If you think about it, that’s how God expresses his love for us. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son…” (John 3:16). He demonstrated his love in a tangible way by sending Christ. And daily, his mercies, his grace, his presence, and his help serve as tangible reminders of his love.
Our husbands and children need tangible reminders of our love and affection for them. And these reminders don’t need to be big or expensive. It’s quite often the little “surprises” in daily life mean the most! I am always looking for fresh ideas. Here are some things I’ve tried…ways to break the routine with a special surprise that says, “I love you” …
Expressing our love for our husbands and children in tangible ways leaves tangible fingerprints of our love on their hearts. It strengthens our family ties and builds a storehouse of precious memories of just how much mom loves them!
As wives and mothers, we can get so caught up in the routines and busy-ness of our lives that we forget how important it is to communicate our affections to our families. Words are important—we should never cease telling our families just how much we love them. But how much more effective when we demonstrate that love in a special way! If you think about it, that’s how God expresses his love for us. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son…” (John 3:16). He demonstrated his love in a tangible way by sending Christ. And daily, his mercies, his grace, his presence, and his help serve as tangible reminders of his love.
Our husbands and children need tangible reminders of our love and affection for them. And these reminders don’t need to be big or expensive. It’s quite often the little “surprises” in daily life mean the most! I am always looking for fresh ideas. Here are some things I’ve tried…ways to break the routine with a special surprise that says, “I love you” …
- Make breakfast for dinner (“second breakfast” hobbit style!)
- Serve dessert first at dinner.
- Include an “I love you” sentiment in a packed lunch.
- Hide a little encouragement note in folded laundry.
- Instead of serving dessert, make it together as a family.
- Make pizza together instead of buying it. Let your children choose the toppings.
- Eat a normal weekday dinner on fine china in the dining room. Let your kids dress for dinner!
- Make a holiday dessert for a regular day.
- Take a surprise trip out for ice cream…kids in pjs!
- Make a sign that says, “Good morning, I love you” backwards and tape it on the wall opposite the bathroom mirror. It will read correctly in the mirror! (I can’t take credit for this one…my husband recently did this for me—it works!)
Expressing our love for our husbands and children in tangible ways leaves tangible fingerprints of our love on their hearts. It strengthens our family ties and builds a storehouse of precious memories of just how much mom loves them!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
A Weapon in my Arsenal
This is a blog entry that, if written by a man, would start with some inspiring military analogy about using the right weapon. But you’ve got me, and I almost spelled the word arsenal, “aerosol”. But a lack of a good opening analogy does not kill my point.
The battle I’m talking about is one we’re all familiar with—the battle for a daily solid devotional time where we commune with God Himself. That’s not to be confused with propping yourself up in bed, attempting to focus your one opened eye on a random page of Scripture, while a fog of sleepy confusion settles heavily upon you.
The Bible warns us that when we want to do good, evil is right there with us. I am never more certain of that than when beginning my devotional times early in the morning. Whether “evil” is sleepiness, condemnation, or distraction, it doesn’t take too many days of the Christian life to realize we need weapons.
And in this we are fortunate because God has provided us with a whole arsenal of weapons for this battle including strong coffee, worship music, walks outside, Bible reading plans, accountability phone calls, and all kinds of great stuff.
The weapon I want to recommend today is praying through the Psalms or a great prayer book like The Valley of Vision (available in the Book Shoppe.) When I am in my early zombie-like state, feeling as flat and uninspired as ever, I can struggle to focus my mind on the truths of God and end up wasting a lot of time. That’s when praying through the Psalms is so helpful. I believe I got the idea from Donald Whitney, but the premise is simple. Use the inspired words of Scripture to fuel your own prayers. Basically, you read a line, then begin to personalize it. Here’s an example from the very familiar Psalm 23:
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
Yes Lord, you’ve been such a kind shepherd, leading me so faithfully. And you’ve provided exactly what I’ve needed. Please lead me today as I’ve got such a full schedule. Help me see what’s important to you.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
Thank you for permanently restoring my soul at the cross and for allowing me to enter your presence! But help my distracted soul to be close to you today …
You get the idea. And the injection of deep intelligent thought into my wandering mind seems to push me quickly into a deeper fellowship with God. The Puritan prayers in The Valley of Vision work much the same way, and have fought bravely against my morning time sloth.
So arm yourself with weapons, and if you’re foggy like me in the mornings, allow these priceless prayers to pull you into the light.
The battle I’m talking about is one we’re all familiar with—the battle for a daily solid devotional time where we commune with God Himself. That’s not to be confused with propping yourself up in bed, attempting to focus your one opened eye on a random page of Scripture, while a fog of sleepy confusion settles heavily upon you.
The Bible warns us that when we want to do good, evil is right there with us. I am never more certain of that than when beginning my devotional times early in the morning. Whether “evil” is sleepiness, condemnation, or distraction, it doesn’t take too many days of the Christian life to realize we need weapons.
And in this we are fortunate because God has provided us with a whole arsenal of weapons for this battle including strong coffee, worship music, walks outside, Bible reading plans, accountability phone calls, and all kinds of great stuff.
The weapon I want to recommend today is praying through the Psalms or a great prayer book like The Valley of Vision (available in the Book Shoppe.) When I am in my early zombie-like state, feeling as flat and uninspired as ever, I can struggle to focus my mind on the truths of God and end up wasting a lot of time. That’s when praying through the Psalms is so helpful. I believe I got the idea from Donald Whitney, but the premise is simple. Use the inspired words of Scripture to fuel your own prayers. Basically, you read a line, then begin to personalize it. Here’s an example from the very familiar Psalm 23:
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
Yes Lord, you’ve been such a kind shepherd, leading me so faithfully. And you’ve provided exactly what I’ve needed. Please lead me today as I’ve got such a full schedule. Help me see what’s important to you.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
Thank you for permanently restoring my soul at the cross and for allowing me to enter your presence! But help my distracted soul to be close to you today …
You get the idea. And the injection of deep intelligent thought into my wandering mind seems to push me quickly into a deeper fellowship with God. The Puritan prayers in The Valley of Vision work much the same way, and have fought bravely against my morning time sloth.
So arm yourself with weapons, and if you’re foggy like me in the mornings, allow these priceless prayers to pull you into the light.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Are You a Joy to Lead?
Recently I've "discovered" that sometimes I'm not an easy wife for my husband to lead. Just a couple weeks ago, Jeff had a creative idea for our date night. Excitedly, he explained what he wanted to do together. I didn't like the idea - to me it sounded tiring and boring. And to my shame, I instantly opposed it. I didn't thank him for trying to be creative or express any gratitude for his commitment to a weekly date night. Instead I criticized his idea, leaving him feeling deflated, and me discouraged.
I know however, as wives, most of us really do want our husbands to lead. We may even get discouraged when they're not leading. We like it when they plan our date nights, lead family devotions, plan vacations, and initiate home projects. I have loved the times that Jeff surprised me by taking me away for an anniversary or initiated times to review our family schedule. Yet, as much as we want them to lead, how often do we find ourselves fighting against how they are leading. We may even wonder why they're not leading more; unaware that we are part of the reason it is it difficult for them.
So how do we fight against this tendency?
One way is to get behind them in the areas where they are leading. Here are a few recent examples. Jeff desires to lead our family in devotions after dinner. I can support his leadership by creating meals that bring the family together, by being the most enthusiastic participant, and by encouraging him that what he is doing is valuable as he fights against the pressing demands of the evening.
Another area where Jeff desires to lead us as a couple is in praying together at night before we go to sleep. Even though it is his desire for this to happen, there are times where he inadvertently forgets. He has asked me to remind him when this happens. So instead of "forgetting" with him, I can encourage him by reminding him. And instead of giving into the temptation of complaining about how tired I am, I can smile and say, "Good idea!"
Jeff also leads us in how much media we allow into our home. Knowing that he wants to limit the amount of TV and videos that our kids watch, I can support him when he's not home by not giving into the pressure from my kids to turn on the TV.
So where is your husband leading you and your family? Encourage his initiatives, even when you would like them to be expressed in different ways. Tune in to how you respond to his ideas. And be your husband's biggest cheerleader. May we be wives who are a joy to lead!
I know however, as wives, most of us really do want our husbands to lead. We may even get discouraged when they're not leading. We like it when they plan our date nights, lead family devotions, plan vacations, and initiate home projects. I have loved the times that Jeff surprised me by taking me away for an anniversary or initiated times to review our family schedule. Yet, as much as we want them to lead, how often do we find ourselves fighting against how they are leading. We may even wonder why they're not leading more; unaware that we are part of the reason it is it difficult for them.
So how do we fight against this tendency?
One way is to get behind them in the areas where they are leading. Here are a few recent examples. Jeff desires to lead our family in devotions after dinner. I can support his leadership by creating meals that bring the family together, by being the most enthusiastic participant, and by encouraging him that what he is doing is valuable as he fights against the pressing demands of the evening.
Another area where Jeff desires to lead us as a couple is in praying together at night before we go to sleep. Even though it is his desire for this to happen, there are times where he inadvertently forgets. He has asked me to remind him when this happens. So instead of "forgetting" with him, I can encourage him by reminding him. And instead of giving into the temptation of complaining about how tired I am, I can smile and say, "Good idea!"
Jeff also leads us in how much media we allow into our home. Knowing that he wants to limit the amount of TV and videos that our kids watch, I can support him when he's not home by not giving into the pressure from my kids to turn on the TV.
So where is your husband leading you and your family? Encourage his initiatives, even when you would like them to be expressed in different ways. Tune in to how you respond to his ideas. And be your husband's biggest cheerleader. May we be wives who are a joy to lead!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Where Are You Reading?
Where are you reading? Odd question you might say, and so it is! I asked myself this question after a fellowship group meeting. We were talking about what we were reading and my friend, Gina, explained that she keeps a book in different places in her home –places where she might actually stay in one place for a short while. Gina has four small children, so this strategy has helped her get some reading done despite the busy demands of motherhood. Although I don’t have the same demands as Gina, I too find it difficult to sit down and read. Our pastors have always exhorted us to read, saying that people who read, grow! For this reason, I’ve always desired to read more.
So, gleaning from Gina, I began to place a few books around my house—one on my desk in the kitchen, one in each powder room, one on my nightstand next to my bed, and two near my big easy chair where I do my morning devotions. It’s been great! I may only get 5 to 10 minutes at a time when I eat lunch or before I go to bed, but I’m actually getting through these books. Sometimes I can get a longer time in if I can’t sleep at night, or if I can choose to not watch that TV show that’s so tempting. Those times help catapult me further. At present, most of my books are related to biblical doctrine (I always try to keep one going about the Gospel), but not always. My husband’s favorite genre is historical non-fiction, specifically World War II era books. So I’ve tried a few, and that’s given us a new topic for communication—one I’ve really enjoyed.
I know 5 books at one time may seem overwhelming, but I haven’t found that to be the case. They often complement each other. I recently looked back over the last 6 months and was so encouraged by the list of books I had read. More importantly, I’ve been blessed by the sound doctrine that I’ve received from these books.
In closing, I’ll make a plug for one book that I’m currently reading that is really helping me as a mom - "Charity and It's Fruits" by Jonathan Edwards. I tried to read it years ago, but the old English seemed too difficult for me. Now, however, I’m getting through it slowly but surely. It’s a wonderful book to consider reading if you found encouragement from Christina Roth’s recent blog entitled Ten Ways to Enjoy Your Little Ones". The practical ideas she gave are simply examples of real fruit that comes from God’s divine love that He pours into us by His Spirit. His love is foundational to all we do –especially as mothers showing love to our children. I’ve felt spurred on in a new way! It’s encouraging to know that God is the One who enables us to do any good work for His glory – even read! I hope this tip is helpful to you!
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