Getting to Know Jared

Editors Note: This week on the Family Life Blog, we are getting a closer look at the Mellingers. Jared and Meghan have joined together to provide us with little windows into their marriage, their family, and their own hearts. Check back each day for the next installment.












One night, just shortly after Jared and I were married, I typed up this list of “Ten Things I love about my Husband.” I can still remember how his face lit up when he read it. Hopefully sharing this will help you get to know Jared a little bit better.

When I wrote this, I was just putting down some of the first things that came to my mind about Jared. But now, as I review the list, I can see that it paints a wonderful picture of biblical masculinity…displaying qualities like cherishing your wife, living with your wife in an understanding way, pursuing humility, studying God’s word, working with diligence.

How grateful I am to have married a man whose life so strongly testifies to the transforming work of the Spirit. There is simply no one I admire or respect more.


Ten Things I Love About My Husband

1. Your quickness to laugh. I think that’s why I have so much fun with you…there’s no one I laugh with more.
2. Your gentleness in conversation. You are careful and self-controlled with your words, especially when I am not. You always speak with a gentle tone, even when I’m being difficult.
3. Your love of God’s Word and His people. You invest much of your time in reading and in people. This I admire, and it inspires me to do the same. Thanks for being an example.
4. Your desire to grow and change. How thankful I am that I do not have a husband who is stubborn and stuck in his ways. Thanks for your humility that is seen in your desire to change.
5. Your tender care for me, seen in your desire to help me identify and put to death sin in my own life.
6. Your diligence in working hard. Thanks for working hard at your job and never being late or calling in sick…it’s a small thing, but it reassures me and it makes me proud. (At the time he was working night shift at a warehouse.)
7. Your love for your family especially your parents. I admire the way you honor them and invest time with them.
8. Your sharp, creative mind, which is manifested in so many things – especially in your writing and your preaching. You are such a clear thinker and it’s a blessing to me.
9. Your desire to honor me above yourself and make me happy. Thanks for seeking your joy in your wifey…this is also an example for me.
10. Your passionate pursuit of me…you regularly romance me and make me feel prized and cherished by you. You are a gift I don’t deserve!

The Lovely Meghan Claire

Editors Note: This week on the Family Life Blog, we are getting a closer look at the Mellingers. Jared and Meghan have joined together to provide us with little windows into their marriage, their family, and their own hearts. Check back each day for the next installment.


I can still remember sitting in a small diner in Kutztown, PA on a cold night in February of 2000. I was 19 years old; Meghan was turning 21 that weekend. As a poor college student, I couldn’t afford much more of a birthday gift than the paper to write her a poem and the postage stamp to get it to her.

So that night I wrote a very simple poem for Meghan, called “The Lovely Meghan Claire”. It began, “A single score and one ago/ When I was not around to know/ A flower first began to grow/ The Lovely Meghan Claire.”

Since then I have written another installation of the poem each year for Meghan’s birthday. It has become “The Lovely Meghan Claire: An Ongoing Poem Celebrating Her Birth and Life.” One of the moments we both look forward to each year is when we go out to eat to celebrate Meghan’s birthday, and I read the full poem, ending with the newest addition for that year.

To give you a window into our marriage and to inspire your own romantic endeavors, here are the sections I wrote for Meghan’s 24th and 25th birthdays:

XXIV

A single score and four. Once more
Recall the goodness of the Lord
Who gave a gift worth more than gold
The Lovely Meghan Claire.

If asked, “A great wife who can find?”
My voice you’d hear not far behind
To speak of excellence defined
The Lovely Meghan Claire.

Why praise her? For she’s “to be praised”
Her strength and dignity outweigh
All others and her hands amaze
The Lovely Meghan Claire.

Her open mouth lets wisdom run
She’s learned to laugh at days to come
Who taught me Proverbs Thirty-One?
The Lovely Meghan Claire.


XXV

A single score and five have passed
The seed was sown; the stem grew fast
And soon around me twined at last
The Lovely Meghan Claire.

Now I am hers and she is mine!
And she’s become my fruitful vine
Where olive shoots spring up and dine
The Lovely Meghan Claire.

But better still, to Christ she holds.
His glory makes her tendrils gold
And gives us grace as we grow old
The Lovely Meghan Claire.

The vine is now too strong to fret
The winter weather or to let
The rays of scorching heat upset
The Lovely Meghan Claire.

More Random Art from the Mellinger Home

Also inspired by Meghan.

Getting to Know Meghan

Editors Note: This week on the Family Life Blog, we are getting a closer look at the Mellingers. Jared and Meghan have joined together to provide us with little windows into their marriage, their family, and their own hearts. Check back each day for the next installment.














I love when people get to know Meghan. I love even more when I get to tell people some of the many reasons I love her. Many of them are expressed in letters I have written to Meghan over the years. I thought sharing a letter I wrote to Meghan on November 28, 2005 might help you get to know her a little bit.


Meghan, my love,

I know I’ve told you over the past few days how much joy you bring me and the reasons why, but I want to communicate these things in writing so you can be reminded again of God’s grace in your life. These things need to go down in writing! I will never tire of pointing out the grace of God at work in you; his grace shines brightly from your life and I enjoy having the privilege of pointing out the obvious.

Meghan, you are one of the most gifted people I know – unusually gifted academically and unusually gifted athletically, and you are a very disciplined person to top it all off. I know that you truly could have advanced in any career you wanted to. I know you could be successfully competing in marathons to this day and would be approaching your prime years as an athlete.

That is why few things in life amaze me more than the choice you have made to walk away from all that you could have been to devote your life to helping me accomplish my dreams and making me a success. This is why you bring me so much joy everyday. No one else supports me the way you do; no one cares for me spiritually or physically the way you do. Your joyful support of me and your practice of biblical womanhood is a legacy that I believe will be remembered by our kids and our grandkids and others long after we are gone.

Thanks for having the passions that you do. Thanks for being committed to the tasks of motherhood and not despising the call of God on your life in this season. When I see you changing diapers and preparing meals and buying groceries and folding laundry, I often find my heart flooded with joy and gratitude to God. Your life brings me so much joy! I find myself at a loss for words when I try to thank God for you; I simply cannot thank him enough for your life.

When I think, “Where do I currently see the gospel bearing fruit and growing?” The first place my mind goes is to your life. I can’t believe that even in the midst of being a mother of 2 young boys, you have maintained your Bible–reading plan the way you have and continue to pursue growth in godliness with such exemplary diligence. This degree of commitment to God and his Word is truly rare; I am blessed to have your example and to be able to observe your love for God.

One of the areas of your life I am most excited about is how seriously you take your sin. This past week there have been several times that you have confessed sin to me – sin that I was unaware of – and you did so on your own initiative. This is one of the clearest evidences of humility imaginable. Thank you for keeping such a close watch on your life.

I love you and I’m so happy to be married to you. You are way out of my league and I thank God I get to walk through life with you by my side. It is ironic that the one with greater gifting is called to support the one with lesser gifting, and the one with lesser godliness is called to lead the one with greater godliness.

Your example and your care are irreplaceable. I love you with all my heart.

Yours forever,
Jared.

Random Art from the Mellinger Home

Our 2 boys are Ryle and Ben. We like to draw together. I use only the black crayon; they use the colors. As a father-and-sons team of artists, we find there is nothing that inspires our artistic sensibilities more than Meghan/Mama:















Of course, Meghan/Mama is not the only one to provide such inspiration.

Martyn Lloyd-Jones and Marriage

Editors Note: This week on the Family Life Blog, we are getting a closer look at the Mellingers. Jared and Meghan have joined together to provide us with little windows into their marriage, their family, and their own hearts. Check back each day for the next installment.



Martyn Lloyd-Jones is considered by many to have been the greatest preacher and leader of the 20th century. Meghan and I love him. I mean really love him. We have both worked our way through his 2-volume, 1,000 page biography by Iain Murray, we occasionally read Lloyd-Jones’ sermons aloud to each other, and we even have a picture of him on our refrigerator!

He understood how to apply the gospel to all of life…including marriage. Here he is in his own words talking about Ephesians 5 and marriage:

"How many of us have realized that we are always to think of the married state in terms of the doctrine of the atonement? Is that our customary way of thinking of marriage?. . . Where do we find what the books have to say about marriage? Under which section? Under ethics. But it does not belong there. We must consider marriage in terms of the doctrine of the atonement." (Life in the Spirit, 148)



Our experience in our marriage has been the more we follow this instruction, the more aware we are of God’s grace and the more our love for marriage is intensified. We trust the same will be true with you.

What are We Doing to Our Children?

By reading a wide variety of news stories, you can see God at work in people’s lives in big and small ways and stay informed on what motivates people to do what they do. However, you also run into a boatload of information you wish you didn’t know. I’m going to share some of that with you today.

A recent article reported that a New Zealand judge found two parents guilty of child abuse…for the name they gave their daughter. What was it? Brace yourself…her name was Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii. To make matters worse, the article abbreviates here name as TDTHFH. That poor little girl.

Oddly enough, as I read, a passage of Scripture came to my mind. Ephesians 6:4 gives this caution to fathers: “do not provoke your children to anger.” Other versions use words like “exasperate.”

Now, I’m moving forward believing that none of you have named your children TDTHFH. But, if you’re like me, you are prone to doing things that unnecessarily embarrass your children.

It might be as simple as singing or whistling in public. Maybe it’s a pet name that you use for them around the house…and when their friends are there for a sleepover. It could be the color socks you wear with your sneakers.

But it might be something more profound than that. Perhaps your correction for them in public is needlessly detailed, or loud, or visible. Or maybe you share stories about them that reflect poorly on their character or wisdom.

I’m not characterizing these actions as child abuse. At one point or another, I’ve been guilty of all of them (with the notable exception of the sock-color thing.) However, in light of what we know of the Scriptures, both trivial AND profound actions can exasperate and embitter our children, unnecessarily provoking them.

Where are we to begin in evaluating this element of our parenting? Here are some practical tips:

- Consider each of your children separately. How does his/her personality bend? How have you seem him/her respond to specific things you’ve done or said?

- Once you’ve done this, consider if you can adjust your actions without sacrificing your convictions. Some things may necessarily embarrass our children, like clothing and media guidelines that we give them. However, most of the time, embarrassment is unnecessary and avoidable.

- If you’re courageous enough…ask them what you do and say that embarrasses them. Prepare yourself to avoid being defensive or easily hurt. Also, prepare to discuss alternatives they’d prefer and to seriously consider small adjustments here or there.

There are so many times that difference of opinion is actually necessary. So many times that we will have to oppose their preferences as they grow. It is parental wisdom to look for ways to avoid doing this unnecessarily and to avoid provoking them to anger. They will appreciate it more than you know…and the joy in your home will abound in such an environment of servant grace.

Skunks and the Sovereignty of God

I don’t have chapter and verse for this but I’m pretty much convinced that skunks are a product of the fall. I’m not sure how it goes in your mind but I don’t picture Adam turning to Eve before the curse and saying, “You know, that smell ain’t half bad.”

“Adam, I rather enjoy it.”
“Great, let’s call it skunk”

My wife and I live in an old farm house that’s been transformed into several apartment units just outside the borough of West Chester. Being that it is an old house we accepted the fact that there were critters living among us and so long as they kept their distance from us and our kids, we were happy to co-exist. Well, our happy cohabitation came to a screeching halt the night the skunks moved in under our back porch. Apparently, there have been groundhogs running about these parts for some time. Over the years they have developed a well traveled tunnel system that has an entrance and exit below our porch, which is also right outside our bedroom window. Seizing upon the groundhog’s hard work, a band of skunks decided to roll into the pre-existing tunnels hoping to find a nice place for themselves. So, at 2 am one April morning the turf war began.


It was bad. I’m talkin’ my upstairs neighbor on the second floor sprayed cologne on his upper lip just to get back to sleep. Our neighbor across the hall on the first floor had Febreze spraying on two minute increments to avoid gagging because the smell was so potent. I went to exercise the next morning and when I returned to my locker after my workout I just about passed out because my clothes still reeked of skunk from the night’s activity. Add to that an eight month pregnant wife who’s already having trouble sleeping at night. It was bad – and we couldn’t get rid of the feuding critters.


A few days into all of this I was working on a home project and got called out of the house to help a friend. Just before the phone rang I heard the familiar scratching noise under our porch which meant the groundhogs and skunks were rumbling again. As I left the house I was angry. I was angry that these vile creatures chose my back porch to start their happy home. I was angry that this whole ordeal was costing my wife and I sleep at night. I was angry because after several nights of baited traps not one skunk was caught. As I drove across town that night the Lord began convicting me about my anger.


“Do I not control all things?” For from him and through him and to him are all things. Romans 11:36

“Yes, Lord, You are over all.”

“Do I not have a good purpose for all things in your life? And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

“Yes, Lord, your will is perfect and good.

Do I not call my children to trust Me with all their hearts? “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5

“Lord, I’m leaning on my own understanding and I’m not trusting You with this circumstance. Please forgive me and change my heart.”

God granted me the gift of repentance that night. I don’t remember if it was the same night or the next morning but I sat down with my wife and told her that I think we should view the skunks differently. Maybe an exterminator needed to hear the gospel. Maybe this was just one way the Lord wanted us and our neighbors to get out of our shells and know one another more. Or maybe it was just my loving heavenly Father revealing to me again that I need a Savior and through faith in the death and resurrection of Christ alone can I receive His power to change. Whatever the lesson, my sinful anger was not the answer.

How about you? If you’re like me, it’s not the big, huge trial right now that’s testing you. It’s the day to day, skunks under the back porch type things that test our souls and refine our lives. It’s in these mundane moments that God speaks into our lives and reveals to us He’s at work through the power of the gospel to change us. These circumstances are but tools in His loving hands. Praise Him.

By the way, about a week later three skunks made their way into the traps that were set. We haven’t seen any more since.

Gospel Goggles

One of the reasons I love math is the certainty of it. 2 + 2 is always 4…always. An inch can be measured consistently each and every time. Everyone agrees on these measurements…no interpretation needed.

Yet, when it comes to the rest of life, certainty goes the way of unity. Everyone has an opinion and a standard by which they measure cause and effect, right and wrong. I was reading recently on the issue of marital affairs when I came across the following:

"I run across people who think everybody is [having an affair] and something is wrong if they're not doing it, too," says [Frank] Pittman [a psychiatrist from] Atlanta. "People get the idea from the media that it's a normal thing and anyone not doing it is missing out on life's goodies."

A study last fall by the online research firm Insight Express found that 89% of 1,000 adults ages 25 to 65 believe monogamy is a realistic goal. But 75% say the lifestyles of young Hollywood stars set a bad example, and just 26% believe television portrays committed relationships in a positive light. ( USA Today, 7/1/2008 Sharon Jayson “Infidelity has a new face”)

I’m not writing here about the trappings of media nor the issues of adultery. I’m writing about what shapes us? By what standard are we measuring cause and effect, right and wrong? And what will we allow to shape our perspectives of marital success?

I don’t disagree with the quote above. TV does portray relationships negatively and people are striving for false forms of happiness and fulfillment. However, the question must be asked, “Who gave media the power to shape our thinking?” And then, the necessary follow up, “How do we get it back?”

You’ve heard of the proverbial “Rose-Colored Glasses,” I assume. Let me introduce you to their sanctified cousin, “Gospel Goggles.” You see, with the truth of the Gospel firmly fixed in our vision, television cannot sway our understanding of right and wrong. With the Gospel forming our understanding, we know the cause and effect. The cause is sin and the effect is ugly.

With our Gospel Goggles, we see beyond the goal of fulfilling our desires to the higher goal of fulfilling God’s will. We see serving our spouse not as obligatory but as blessing. We see the commands of God and the call to faithfulness not as restrictive, but as guardrails on our journey. The Gospel reins in our desires and false assumptions and says in the voice of a loving Father, “No, child. This is the path of true fulfillment.”

How can we get ourselves a pair of Gospel Goggles? You can’t get ‘em on TV and you can’t buy them in stores. They develop from the inside. How can you grow them? Some very practical and unoriginal steps:

- Memorize Scripture specific to areas you are prone to forget the Gospel.
- Read the Word regularly.
- Live in open fellowship with other believers.
- Confess your sin regularly to God and to others.
- Pray for the wisdom and protection of God.

By what standard will we be shaped? By God’s grace, we’ll be shaped by the standard of our Creator, Savior, and Redeemer. Our marriages will be stronger…and more fulfilling. All to the glory of God.

Ten Ways to Enjoy Your Little Ones

I have learned many things in the six years I have been a mom (and have so much more to learn!). I have learned about the power of prayer over my kids. I have seen fruit from consistent discipline and from teaching them gospel truths. I have also learned how important it is to develop strong relationships with my children…especially when they are little. Here is a list of ten ways I have found that help me build relational closeness with my young children. Though some of these ideas may seem silly or meaningless, they all have added joy to my life and to the lives of my kids. I have also seen my children respond better to correction because our relationship is sweeter. Surprisingly, these fun moments have led into some of the most memorable gospel teaching experiences that I’ve had with them.

1. Tickle your kids at least once a day. The sound of your little one laughing will indeed warm your heart.

2. Answer the question “Mommy will you play with me?” with “Yes!” Then put down that load of laundry, get down on the floor and play dolls or superheroes, or whatever they love to do. Even a short time of undivided investment into their play can make a difference.

3. Instead of TV after dinner, how about a good game of “Monster!” (You being the monster, of course)

4. Let them do your hair in a fantastic new style. My girls LOVE this and it always provides many laughs.

5. Rent a silly but wholesome movie, cuddle on the couch with popcorn in hand, and ALWAYS dance to the music during the credits.

6. Create a treasure hunt and watch your little ones run all over your house to find the treasure (preferably candy). This is a great way to encourage and practice reading. Give them clues they can read on their own.

7. Make up a silly song about them using fun rhyming words.

8. Kiss their cheeks right after they wake up from a nap. There’s nothing like it for both of you.

9. Tell them stories about when you were little. My kids love the one about my mom putting Tabasco sauce on my thumb one night so I would stop sucking it…Yikes!

10. Cuddle together in your jammies and read some good books everyone will enjoy. Some of my favorites: Go Dog Go! , Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, Mr. Popper’s Penguins, and all the traditional fairy tales.

When we think about introducing the Gospel to our children we often think about some serious devotional exercise. I’ve found that Gospel opportunities can come through intentional enjoyment of my kids as much as through intentional evangelism of them.

Checking in on the Church Fathers

The Apostolic Fathers. Who were they? In the centuries immediately following the birth, after the passing of the original Apostles, the care of infant church passed on to new generations of pastors and leaders. They’re known as the Apostolic Fathers, and they had a tough job. They followed in the footsteps of the writers of the New Testament – those who were literally sent out to start the church by the Ascended Christ. It fell to these pastor-scholars to put the words of the New Testament into practice in a church which was both expanding across cultures and being battered by persecution.

It fell to the Apostolic (also called Church) Fathers to figure a lot of things out – important things like how to talk rightly about the divinity and humanity of Jesus, to try to make some sense of the Trinitarian nature of God, and how to understand the new birth. They argued a lot over these things, and didn’t always get it right. But pioneers often make mistakes that those who follow don’t have to repeat. So we owe them a lot. And they said things at times that just can’t be improved upon. Here is an example of the words of an early Church Father who is now unknown to us. Whoever this brother was, he understood the Gospel, and knew how to rejoice over it.

“O the sweet exchange”

“[God] gave up his own Son as a ransom for us, the holy one for the lawless, the guiltless for the guilty, ‘the just for the unjust’, the incorruptible for the corruptible, the immortal for the mortal.

For what else but his righteousness could have covered our sins? In whom was it possible for us, the lawless and ungodly, to be justified, except in the Son of God alone?

O the sweet exchange, O the incomprehensible work of God, O the unexpected blessings, that the sinfulness of many should be hidden in one righteous man, while the righteousness of one should justify many sinners!”

—Anonymous, “The Epistle to Diognetus” in The Apostolic Fathers, ed. Michael W. Holmes (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 1992), 547 (HT: firstimportance.org)

Daddy and Mommy as Husband and Wife

You may have heard a common saying in Christian Parenting circles that goes something like this: “The best thing a mom and dad can do to provide a strong family is to provide a strong marriage.” I don’t know if it’s the best thing, but it is at least a very good thing. Some of the ways that we express this value at CFC is through Date Nights and our Couples Only events.

We stumbled onto a very helpful tip during our time down in Little Rock that you may find very helpful, too. “What are you doing to help you children see you as a married couple?” The thought never even occurred to us before. So, our answer of “not very much” should come as no surprise. The more we discussed it, the more we learned and were both convinced we ought to try it.

We were instructed to find ways to weave it in to the normal course of life. I would refer to Gina as my wife, we would intentionally hold hands in their presence. At the beginnings of meals, we would take 5-10 minutes of time that everyone knew was for Mommy and Daddy to talk as Husband and Wife while catching up on each other’s day. This is not rocket science, but it helped our children see that the relationship between me and Gina was different than the ones they had with us.

In doing this, not only are the children more equipped to interact with us and understand us. They also have a deeper understanding of the family and home in which they live. They are primed to have a higher view of marriage as they get older and to rightly understand the importance of that relationship.

Here’s what we discovered.

~ Children Don’t Naturally Think of us a Married Couple – At least our children didn’t. When we tried to take time to prioritize our marriage, as in a Date Night, we found that our children originally didn’t like it. Why couldn’t they come? As we clarified the husband/wife part of who we are, Date Nights became much easier and, at least in our case, we found that they had a fresh excitement about them.

~ Once They’re Taught, Children Easily Forget We’re a Married Couple – Since most of our couple time is spent during their sleeping hours, it is very easy for them to forget that we’re married. This is not just for the toddlers and little tikes. Teenagers interact with us as Dad and Mom so frequently that they, too, can forget easily.

This is not going to change your life…but it may change the way your children view your marriage. The better they understand that, the better your children can enjoy the family, the way God created it.

Life is More than Dingers and Taters

Last week the American League All Stars beat the National League All Stars in an epic, fifteen inning marathon All Star game. But that wasn’t the only epic event of the All Star week; played at historic Yankee Stadium in the last year of its existence. In the Home Run Derby the previous day a remarkable thing happened. Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers slugged an astounding 28 home runs in the first round of the derby – more than all the other competitors combined!

Josh Hamilton? Who is this guy? And where did he come from. Hamilton is a former Number One ‘can’t miss’ prospect who fell into serious and nearly fatal drug addiction which cost him his career, his family, and everything he valued in life. But about three years ago, his life was arrested by the only one who could save him – Jesus Christ. Over the next two years, Josh Hamilton began a long road back to health, to his family, and eventually to the game of baseball. Against all odds, he became a 26 year old Cincinnati Reds rookie last year and rediscovered both the love of the game and the skill that had been lost to drugs. After a respectable rookie year he was traded to the Texas Rangers during the offseason. All he has done with Texas is lead the Major Leagues in RBI’s so far this season (98 in 100 games!) and play in the All Star Game.

In July 2007 ESPN.com let Josh Hamilton tell his story when he was still basking in the initial joy of baseball redemption. Considering all that has happened since that time, it is an even more remarkable story today. It’s worth it to read the entire piece, but here are some excerpts.

I have a mission now. My mission is to be the ray of hope, the guy who stands out there on that beautiful field and owns up to his mistakes and lets people know it's never completely hopeless, no matter how bad it seems at the time. I have a platform and a message, and now I go to bed at night, sober and happy, praying I can be a good messenger.

I get a lot of abuse in visiting cities, but it only bothers me when people are vulgar around kids. The rest I can handle. Some of it is even funny. In St. Louis, I was standing in right field when a fan yelled, "My name is Josh Hamilton, and I'm a drug addict!” I turned around and looked at him with my palms raised to the sky. "Tell me something I don't know, dude," I said. The whole section started laughing and cheering, and the heckler turned to them and said, "Did you hear that? He's my new favorite player.” They cheered me from that point on.

But there is one story that sticks with me, so much so that I think of it every day. I was driving out of the players' parking lot at Great American Ball Park after a game in May, with Katie and our two girls. There's always a group of fans standing at the curb, hoping to get autographs, and I stop to sign as many as I can.

And on this particular night, a little boy of about 9 or 10, wearing a Reds cap, handed me a pen and something to sign. Nothing unusual there, but as I was writing the boy said, "Josh, you're my savior."

This stopped me. I looked at him and said, "Well, thank you. Do you know who my savior is?"

He thought for a minute. I could see the gears turning. Finally, he smiled and blurted out, "Jesus Christ.” He said it like he'd just come up with the answer to a test. "That's exactly right," I said.

You see, I may not know how I got here from there, but every day I get a better understanding of why.

The article is aptly titled “I’m Proof that Hope is Never Lost.” Aren’t we all! If you’d like to read the whole thing, go here.

Unite and Conquer

On day four of our honeymoon, Gina and I began a strong and wide divide that lasted for quite some time. The damage created about 18 months of turmoil in our marriage and personal lives. How we could have benefitted from true biblical fellowship back then.

As God poured His grace into our lives, we repaired our marriage and resurrected our love for one another. We began to see the many areas in which we stumbled. A small slip here…a missed step there. An opportunity for grace wasted…a need for forgiveness bypassed. All of a sudden, these small missteps led to a divide that nearly destroyed us. We were striving for unity, but couldn’t seem to reach it.

You may be lacking unity in your marriage. Maybe it is difficulty coming to a unified decision. Maybe it’s difficulty finding unified interests. Or maybe it’s as ugly as ours was…not even being unified in your love for one another. The essential ingredients for unity are needed…and quick! So, what are they? Here’s what we discovered.

1. Unite around a common Savior –In marital conflict, we can leave the cross at the front door. This is what we did. I failed to allow the cross to influence my interaction with Gina and my perception of what was happening. As a couple, join hands at the foot of the cross. Gain perspective on your problem and on God’s love for your spouse. Gain perspective on the depth of your sinful heart. Pray together, confess before each other. Allow the love of a common Savior to unite you.

2. Unite around a common enemy – There is a marriage ministry that has a saying: “My spouse is not my enemy.” God has joined you together that you may be one against the attacks of another. Marriage has an enemy: Satan. He wants your marriage to fall apart because he knows that it reflects more than just two lovers…it reflects the love of a Savior and His people. Your spouse is not your enemy. Unite in fighting the same person.

3. Unite around a common cause –Gary Thomas’ book, Sacred Marriage, has a provocative subtitle: “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?” God designed marriage to fulfill its main purpose: to glorify Him and reflect His glory. Ephesians 5 highlights this purpose for marriage. Set aside your pursuit of happiness and embrace a pursuit for holiness. Not only will your marriage be a happier one. It will also be a holier one. God will be mightily glorified as two sinners unite around the common cause of bringing Him glory.

Thirteen years later, by the kindness and grace of God, Gina and I are doing wonderfully. We are enjoying a deep love and true unity. However, the memories of that first 18 months are never far from our minds. When temptation creeps up and division begins to appear, we unite…As we do, the cross has its intended effect on our relationship. And we are deeply thankful.

PMS and What to Do About It

Carolyn Mahaney and her daughters, writers of the well-loved Girltalk blog, are assisting us with the practical struggles of life once again, this time by tackling the topic of hormones. Whether it’s PMS, post-partum, or menopause, these girls recently shared their personal experiences and the truth of God’s word humbly and wisely. Carolyn writes,

There are few times I feel less spiritual than when I face physical and hormonal challenges such as PMS and (now) menopause. I feel tired and irritable, my sin sometimes spilling over onto those around me.

My strategy has often been to try and wait it out. ‘Once this is over’, I tell myself, ‘then I’ll get back to making progress in the Christian life.’ I forget that I am smack in the middle of God’s plan for my life! God has ordained these hormonal days along with all the others! Menopause isn’t simply a trial to get through. It’s an opportunity for testing faith and spiritual growth.

The Girltalkers go on to explain that hormonal days and seasons, while medically real, are not too big for God’s grace. We can learn to “handle these feelings instead of letting them handle us” and we’re offered some valuable tips including:

· How to plan ahead for these seasons of temptation

· What to read when experiencing hormonal challenges

· How to create a list of verses and quotes to be weapons in the fight

· What music to listen to

· How to simplify your life and prioritize your chores

· And even medical advice from Christian physicians

But the fighting of these battles isn’t just a pragmatic exercise; it’s a spiritual one as well, as explained in D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones’ “Spiritual Depression”:

“Avoid the mistake of concentrating overmuch on your feelings...Above all, avoid the terrible error of making them central. If you put them there you are of necessity doomed to be unhappy because you are not following the order that God himself has ordained...After all, what we have in the Bible is Truth; it is not an emotional stimulus, it is not something primarily concerned to give us a joyful experience. It is primarily Truth, and Truth is addressed to the mind, God’s supreme gift to man; and it is as we apprehend and submit ourselves to truth that the feelings follow.”

Yes, feelings can follow truth, even though they so desperately want to lead! And the author of that truth is both the Great Physician and the Wonderful Counselor.

Nicole summarizes by reminding us that, “…the hormones may be raging, our feelings may fluctuate and our body may have worn out. But God’s grace—that comes to us because of what Jesus accomplished on the cross—is real... And it is more powerful than any out-of-whack hormones in our body. It is, as God told Paul in 2 Corinthians 12, ‘sufficient for you.’”

To read these excellent posts in their entirety, click here, and let’s get these hormones on the leash where they belong!

What Our Brains Cannot Contain

Do you ever wonder why God doesn’t let you in a little bit more on what He’s thinking as he works in the circumstances of your life? Wouldn’t faith be so much easier if we got a ‘head’s up’ when something was about to happen that we hadn’t planned for? Or if he’d make the Bible glow at the pages we need to pay attention to as trying to figure out what to do in a difficult situation. Trust would be so much easier that way. Or would it?

John Piper has some very helpful thoughts as to why we don’t get more than we do from God in the way of explanation in his blog post, “Why God Doesn’t Fully Explain the Pain (7/14/08).

God cannot make plain all he is doing, because there are millions and millions and millions and millions of effects of every event in your life, the good and the bad. God guides them all. They all have micro purposes and macro purposes. He cannot tell you all of them because your brain can’t hold all of them.

Trust does not demand more than God has told us. And he has given us immeasurably precious promises that he is in control of all things and only does well to his children. And he has given us a very thick book where we can read story after story after story about how he rules for the good of his people.

Let’s trust him and not ask for what our brains cannot contain

If you want to read the blog post in its entirety, go here.

Summer Motivation for Kids

Looking for a way to keep your kids motivated this summer? For a way to help them to use their time wisely? For the past 8 years or so, I’ve used some sort of summer motivation chart (see below) to keep my kids from vegetating on videos and to instead help them read, work, and exercise.

Here’s how it worked this summer: I came up with a list of 10 or so things that I wanted them to invest their time in – such as reading, doing a math lesson, memorizing scripture, running around the block, doing a job… then I assigned a point value to each task. Next I came up with some rewards for a given value of points. They could either cash the points in right away or save them up for something of greater value.

For example, they could cash in 20 points today to play a 30 min. video game or save up their points for a few days to get a McDonald’s ice cream cone. The rewards have to be things that are of value to them, but not too difficult for you to fulfill. (The year that they could save up a gazillion points to go to the movie theater turned out to be a disaster because I had a new baby and never could find the time to take them.)

Now the catch to all this is that in order to get any points – all their daily jobs must first be completed and they must have had a quiet time. If they leave a job undone, none of the reward points count for that day.

Although I only use this system with my 3 grade-school kids, I know of other families that have developed motivational charts for older kids. They save up points to receive something that is of value to them.

It’s been fun watching my kids earn their points and then watching to see how they want to cash them in. And, it’s interesting to observe how that 30-min. PBS show suddenly isn’t inviting to them any more when they want to use their points for something they feel is of greater value. Though it takes a little bit of effort from me (checking their charts, inspecting their jobs, and giving rewards), it’s been worth it as I watch my kids using their time wisely this summer!

Click here for a sample motivation chart in an Excel spreadsheet. (Note: I keep their job chart list on the bottom of the chart for them to X off.)

Gerry Can Finally Leave Town

This is a bit of a longer blog than we typically run, but it is worth the read. It’s a real life story from Mark Altrogge, on his blog the blazing center

February 29th, 2008 by Mark Altrogge

We’d lost touch with each other over the years.

Gerry had one of the first Beatle haircuts in town and was in “The Legends.” I was in a rival band, “The Signets.” Both were blue-eyed soul bands. The Legends once played a 2-chord instrumental for 3 hours straight on a friend’s front porch. That had to be a Guinness record – In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, the longest song known to man, was only 17 minutes long and they had gone 3 hours! I think that qualifies for canonization. Gerry had one of the nicest guitars of anyone I knew, a blonde Epiphone Casino like John Lennon’s. We were friends in college, drinking beer together and wasting time in the Student Union drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. After college, my life went downhill until Jesus apprehended me. Gerry’s life took a downward turn as well, and he developed agoraphobia. He would have a panic attack every time he’d attempt to leave town. So from sometime in the 70’s he became a prisoner of our town. He never left again.

Along the way, Gerry and I both got married, had children, and our lives took different directions. A few years later I heard that he got divorced.

Fast forward 25+ years. One day I see him from a distance in Wal-mart. The Lord prompts me to give him a call. I tell him I’d seen him and wondered if he’d like to get together for coffee. He’s glad to hear from me and anxious to hook up. So we meet at Starbucks a couple days later, two fifty-something guys getting reacquainted after being out of touch for far too long.
I start off by telling Gerry my favorite memory of him. It was the time a friend and I were supposed to meet him at a campus apartment, but we show up an hour late. When we come in, Gerry is sitting at the kitchen table, studying a beer bottle. He looks up at us, takes a drag on his Kool filter and says, “This is the famous Budweiser beer, brewed with the finest hops and malts….” While waiting for us, he has memorized the entire label on a bottle of Bud. That snapshot pretty much captures our lives back then.

Gerry tells me he has cancer. I wouldn’t know it by looking at him, but he tells me that 2 years ago the doctors gave him 2 years after discovering a large tumor in his intestines. He tells me he’s been reading the Bible for a year, which leads to talking about Jesus and his death as a substitute for us. God does something significant that day in our lives. We reestablish our friendship.

For the next year, Gerry and I get together regularly. He comes to our church and some other former friends renew their relationship with him. He meets new friends. Frank becomes a faithful Bible study partner, as do Dennis and Tim. Each week they call Gerry and talk about a Bible passage. Every Sunday Gerry comes to our church and stands in the back listening to me preach – he’s pretty sick - often in so much pain he can’t sit, but he usually makes it through the message before he has to go home and back to bed.

We go out to lunch once a week – I get the salad bar and load up my plate, but all he can eat is a few fries with gravy. He often treats me. Week after week, we talk of Jesus, as Gerry grows more thin and frail. He tells me that he and Frank are reading 1 John and that Jesus has convicted him that he needs to love people. He tells me that for years he has hated many people but now he has decided to forgive everyone who has ever wronged him. He wants to devote his life to Jesus, doing all he can to please him for the rest of his days. He wants to do as much good to as many people as he can.

In these days of suffering, God gives Gerry a gift – painting pictures. He paints every day. Landscapes, boats and Mediterranean seaport scenes. And he gives his paintings away. One hangs in my office.

Fast forward to this past Wednesday evening. I call and his dad answers. “How is your son?” I ask. “We’re in a death watch. Come over and see Gerry.” I get there and see him, lying in the special bed they’d set up for him in the family room. Gerry’s eyes are open, his breathing is shallow, a “death rattle”. I don’t know if he can hear me, but I hold his hand and tell him Jesus loves him, and thank him for being such a good friend. I tell him that nothing can separate him from the love of God in Christ Jesus, and pray for him.

Gerry’s dad and mom are there, grieving, watching their son’s last moments. Then his mom says, “Gerry can finally leave town now.” His agoraphobia is over. He’s leaving town – for heaven. For a face to face appointment with his Savior. I tell Gerry goodbye. “I love you, Gerry. See you soon.”

Gerry left town yesterday at 1 in the morning. I can’t wait to see him again.

Relating to Your Husband: Avoiding Some Common Traps

As I read Rob Flood’s post on talking with your children, I could easily place myself in each of his communication snares. What helpful insights to aid us on our parenting journey! In thinking through his words of counsel, I realized that I can easily fall into other traps—relational traps in my marriage that can subtly (or not so subtly) seep into my conversations and expectations. And recognizing these traps is likewise only part of the battle…we must ultimately act on the truth we know.


Trap #1: My husband exists to meet all my needs (or the newly wed version: Now that I am married my heart will be completely satisfied).

There’s good news and bad news here. The good news first: Our hearts can be completely satisfied, BUT this can never happen through our husbands. Psalm 107:9 says that the Lord is the one who satisfies the longing soul. When we look to our husbands for things only the Lord can supply, we place an unfair burden upon him. The more we seek our satisfaction in the Lord the more we will find it in marriage; and we will know genuine joy in serving our husbands and glorifying God together with him.


Trap #2: My husband should be able to read my mind.

We may not think this, but we can often live as if it is true. For ones who possess great ability to use words (and lots of them), we can often assume our husbands know what we are thinking or are aware of our feelings and fail to engage in some very basic communication. We can further allow self pity to feed our silence, or use our silence in subtle manipulation to exact our husband’s pity. Not fair! God is God; our husbands are not. They need our help to know us. We need to offer them our humble, honest thoughts, while trusting that the Lord will direct them in their leadership of our marriages and families.


Trap #3: Communication with my husband is all about me.

Rob addressed this tendency toward self-centered communication in his first two traps and they can equally apply to marriage. We can be much more ready to speak to our husbands than to listen. We give our opinions higher priority and assume we are right. Listening requires humility, but our goal is often to “be heard.” And when we speak it is often easier to address our husband’s problems than to motivate him by grace. Thankfully the Lord does not relate to us the way we can be tempted to relate to our husbands, and sets a wonderful pattern for our communication in Psalm 103:8, “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” The Spirit of God dwells in us and will help us as we put off our pride and seek to put on mercy and grace, patience and selfless love.


May the Lord richly transform our marriages!

My Little Friend Worry

There are certain times when I tend to be what some might call a ‘worry wart’. I think of all the worst case scenarios and live as though they are going to happen. Worry comes to me like a little friend who is happy to talk with me as much as I want. Although I knew that entertaining worry didn’t bring me joy and peace, I kind of saw it as a casual friendship – like the familiar relationship you might have with somebody you work with. You, know, it would be un-neighborly to ignore worry when it’s right next to you all the time.

However, recently my perspective began to change when we went on our first "family" vacation without our two oldest children who had to stay at home to work. Though I was confident that they were capable of taking care of the house, feeding themselves, and getting up in time for work, the thought of my 17-year-old driving his motorcycle back and forth to work and my 19-year-old hopping here and there in his car threatened to ruin my vacation - especially knowing that we were going to be 5 hours away. As I lay awake in our tent the first night it suddenly dawned on me that by turning to my "friend" worry instead of trusting God that I was essentially being a functional atheist. I was saying that I trust God, but when it comes down to it – to the things that are important to me - not trusting Him at all. By fretting, I'm saying that God's not in control.

It was then that I realized that my little "friend," was no friend at all; as a matter of fact, worry had become a cruel master. I was enslaved to it. It wasn't until, by the grace of God, I was finally convicted that fretting was a sin – an abomination to God - that I was able to begin the battle. I stopped saving a seat for worry and got out the sword of the Word.

So the battle began. Every time worry showed up, I did not let it linger. Instead I cried out to God to forgive me for worrying and asked Him to care for my children. I acknowledged His sovereignty and as 1 Peter 5:7 says, I cast my cares fully upon Him. Little by little I felt the grip of my taskmaster weaken and my confidence in God strengthen.

Because of the grace of God, I was able to overcome the fear that threatened to destroy my vacation. As I turned to God instead of worry, I was flooded with peace and joy. My "friend" had been exposed for what it was – an enemy in disguise.

How about you? Has this "respectable sin" called worry become your friend? If so, let the battle begin. In Christ, we are guaranteed a victory! "Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.” Psalm 37:8b

Jesus Isn't the Lincoln Memorial

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)

This is one of those Bible memory verses that most Christians seem to know by heart. But what does it mean? I’ll admit that I can tend to do my mental translation of this verse into something like, ‘The way I picture Jesus? That’s the way he is all the time’. It’s like standing in front of the statue of Abraham Lincoln. You can be pretty sure if you leave and come back in a year he won’t have moved a finger. He’s the same all the time. Easy to find, but not that helpful when you find him.

I’m reading Sinclair Ferguson’s excellent devotional book, “In Christ Alone”, and the other addressed this verse in a way that knocked me back a step.

Do not mistake the meaning. This is not the immutability of the sphinx – a Christ captured once for all in never-fading still photography. This is the changelessness of Jesus Christ in all His life, love, holiness, grace, justice, truth, and power. He is always the same for you, no matter how your circumstances change.

Say this to yourself when you rise each day, when you struggle, or when you lay your head down sadly on your pillow at night: ‘Lord Jesus, You are still the same, and always will be.’

The immutability of Christ is the changelessness of the Christ revealed in the Gospels. All that He proved to be in His ministry is an indication of the way He really and always is. That is why it is legitimate for us to see the Gospel accounts not only in the context of redemptive history but as portrayals of the character of the Christ who lives forever. We are able to say, ‘If Jesus was like this then, Jesus is like this now.’… From first to last then, fix your eyes on Jesus. He never changes! (p. 66, 67)

The sameness of Jesus means that he will respond to my many needs in a way that is entirely consistent with who he is revealed to be in the Gospel.

Talking to your Children: Avoiding Some Common Traps

Recently, in a conversation with one of my children, I found myself not only participating, but also observing the conversation as well. As I heard myself speaking I said to myself, “Who is that obnoxious man talking?” The facts overtook my desires as I realized that it was me. I had fallen in a trap…a conversation trap.

These traps lie waiting for you in every conversation you have with your children. Knowing they’re there is only part of the battle…remembering they’re there is the another part. Knowing how to avoid them…and get out of them once trapped…is the rest of it.

Trap #1: “What I have to say is more important than what they have to say.”

This was the situation from the opening story. Suddenly, in my mind, my words were inspired and everything else was just drivel. Words are one of the main tools that God has given us and our children to communicate. Your 4 year old…your 14 year old…your 24 year old…all have the God-given tool of words.

When they speak, it may be to deflect responsibility or to deny culpability…sure. But it may be to explain something you do not yet know. In the former case, you are better positioned to help them once you’ve heard them. In the latter case, your decisions can be informed by actual facts instead of your mistaken understanding.

Trap #2: “I am only addressing the problems in my children.”

In every conversation you have, be aware of the gentle knock of sin at your door. It may come subtly in the form of self-righteousness. It may come blatantly in the form of anger. It may come disguised as parental concern or with no disguise at all in the form of annoyance. The siren call of a book you were reading or quiet moment you were enjoying may cause you to want to end the conversation prematurely, introducing you to the sin of selfishness.

When you are talking about problems your children are having or a decision they are facing, always assume that your sin wants to make an uninvited appearance. Ask God to make you more aware of the sin you are contributing than you are of the sin you are addressing.

Trap #3: “Now that we’ve talked about it, it won’t come up again.”

Have you ever had sin in your life that didn’t completely go away the first time you worked on it? I have, too…nearly every day. And so will your children. Yes, some of it is childishness. But the better and more comprehensive explanation is that it’s part of the fallen state we find ourselves in.

Remember that you, too, are in that position. If you find yourself saying those dreaded words, “I can’t believe we have to talk about this again,” know that you’ve fallen into Trap #3…and Traps #1 and #2 as well.

Like you, your children are people in process. Join with them on their walk and arrive together, on the same team and on the same page. If you’re regularly for them, you’ll find you avoid the hazards of the communication traps.

Croc Attack – The Sequel

A couple of weeks ago Brian Vander Weide posted a blog on a story of one man’s courage fending off the attack of a crocodile on his wife. We got a couple of responses on that one from very unlikely sources for our little in-house blog.

Here’s one that adds some scientific cred to the story:

This made me laugh! I lived in North Queensland, Australia, for three years, working as a zoologist, and yes the horrid estuarine crocodiles (I think that is their more "proper" title, because, yes, as you suggest, they can cross between fresh and salt water) do exist. Even as a zoologist I think they're horrid - they can get you on land, in rivers and in the ocean (they do look a bit silly in the ocean, but nevertheless they live there). Norm did a jolly good job saving his wife from one!

Here’s another from a regular reader from Down Under named Felicity, who lives in Tasmania – yes there really is a Tasmania.

Good Morning,

I live in Australia so read your blog the day after it has been written (Monday’s blog I read on Tuesday …) I log onto my Computer at work each morning and eagerly await it’s loading up so I can read the CovFel Blog which is full of biblical wisdom. I am thankful to God for the technology of the Internet.

I read with interest this morning about the Croc Attack and was prompted to email to talk about the difference between Salt and Fresh Water Crocodiles. I live in Tasmania which is the other end of the country so have never (apart from a 1 week visit to the Northern territory) had to interact with Crocs. And can not verify if children are taught to poke their eyes or what significance that has to a Croc.

“Salties” as they are affectionately called have a shorter and broader nose, compared to a long skinny nose of “freshies”. Fully grown Salties are a lot bigger (longer and wider) than Freshies. The other main difference between the too is the danger. The Aboriginals use to swim in swimming holes and rivers which contained fresh water crocodiles. I am not sure how friendly they actually are, but they are shy animals especially compared to the salt water crocodiles, which are very aggressive and will eat. They can’t chew their prey though and so drown it and shake it until it stops moving and then they can pull it apart.

Crocodiles are a protected species and so hunting and killing them, as was practiced in the past, is now illegal., This has led to an increase in Croc’s in the waterways and an increase in Croc’s in previously un-crocodile infested waters, resulting in an increase in Croc Attacks.

Interesting fact though, if you are walking along a river that has crocodiles (which I wouldn’t recommend) if you walk with a dog the Croc will take the dog before it takes you.

God Bless your team on your continued work and blessings you give to people all over the world through your blogging.

Maybe this is more info on carnivorous reptiles than you’d expect from a local church blog in a crocodile free zone in the Northeast US. But we couldn’t resist. Just to be safe, next time you walk near the Brandywine Creek, make sure to take your dog.

Love for the Long Haul

I remember watching a 1^st grader enthralled with his new sandals…the ones that light up when you walk in them. Walking down the hall, he was watching the pretty red lights coming from under his feet. And, as he studied the blinking, he never saw the wall that snuck up on him…WHACK! Don’t worry…after shaking his head a couple of times, he walked off, just fine…and still looking at the lights.

We can sometimes be so consumed with our next steps that we forget to lift our eyes and look at the end of the journey. What would mature, godly love look like at the end of the journey? How about in genuine hardship? Here’s a snapshot of genuine love at the end of a journey.

Robertson McQuilkin was the president of a seminary and prominent in his field. However, as his wife Muriel grew worse with Alzheimer’s Disease, he made the decision to leave his position and care for her full time. The following was part of his farewell letter to the constituents of Columbia Bible College

The decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago when I promised to care for Muriel “in sickness and in health…’til death do us part.” So, as a man of my word, integrity has something to do with it. But so does fairness. She has cared for me fully and sacrificially all these years; if I cared for her for the next 40 years I would not be out of her debt.

Duty, however, can be grim and stoic. But there is more: I love Muriel. She is a delight to me—her childlike dependence and confidence in me, her warm love, occasional flashes of that wit I used to relish so, her happy spirit and tough resilience in the face of her continual distressing frustration. I don’t have to care for her. I get to! It is a high honor to care for so wonderful a person.

Not everyone is in a position to leave their job and provide this type of care. However, we are all in a position to provide this type of love. God is at work in us to love our spouse in a way that reflects His own love for us. Thank you, Dr. McQuilkin, for your example.

Now that we’ve looked at the end of the journey, it’s time to return to the steps in front of us. Are you on a path that leads to that end? Are you cultivating the love for your spouse that will withstand such trials? True devotion to your spouse is fruit from true devotion to your Savior. If Dr. McQuilkin’s example provokes you, then pour mightily into your relationship with Christ…in the end, your love for your spouse will smell as sweet as that shared between Robertson and Muriel…to the glory of God.

Could You Be a Wedding Coordinator?

It’s wedding season! It seems like there is almost a wedding a week in our church family in the coming months. At CFC we see weddings as family time, not just the joining of two families in marriage, but a time where the family of the church rallies around a couple to both celebrate and pull off their wedding. Who gets to be at the center of all this celebration? Our wedding coordinators! This team is an often unseen but very important ministry in the church – touching lives and bringing peace and order to the craziness of the wedding planning process.

We would love to ad a few folks to our wedding coordinator team over the next few months. To give you an idea of what the experience is like I asked Nancy Young – the outstanding leader of our wedding coordinating team – to share her perspective on the ministry.

Why I love to serve as a wedding coordinator

Nancy Young

Serving as a wedding coordinator is such a privilege. Marriage is a beautiful picture of Christ’s sacrificial love for the church. What an honor to play a small part in what God is doing through uniting a couple in marriage. I love to help with the planning and take care of the details thereby enabling the bride to focus on God’s faithfulness and provision. I see a large part of my job as creating an atmosphere that helps the bride to fully enjoy her wedding day.

Serving as a wedding coordinator gives me an opportunity to live out Titus II. Many of the brides that I meet with do not have Christian parents to guide them during this special time. What a privilege to encourage and envision them for this next season of life while helping them honor the Lord in preparing not just a ceremony, but a testimony of God’s loving care.

Weddings also bring unbelievers into the church. I’ve been amazed at the reports of how the couples’ family members were affected through the wedding. The kindness of God is experienced through the care of the church family. People are affected as they observe church members gladly serving and rejoicing with the couple. I get to see this first hand!

Through wedding coordinating God uses the gift He’s given me to serve our local church. Wedding coordinating allows us to be ‘go to’ persons for the pastors and administrative staff. Each wedding has its own unique features and challenges, but to see it all come together on the wedding day is a very satisfying experience.

I love wedding coordinating because it is doable. In the midst of a myriad of responsibilities as a wife and mom life can seem too full to make additional commitments to ministry teams. Wedding Coordinating is doable because there is a short season of preparation. I meet with the couple a few times. We e-mail details and logistics. I communicate with the church office. The weekend of the wedding is blocked out for our family to serve. Several times a year I get to jump into the joy of a new marriage – and I’m still free to do other things that God calls us as to do as a family.

If you are interested in finding out more about the wedding coordinator team, email Charity Campbell at ccampbell@covfel.org

My Treasure is Christ, I Need Nothing More

As we conclude our preaching series from the book of Galatians, Sola Gratia, I’ve been struck by how many times in his letter Paul loops back around to the vital necessity of finding our righteousness in Christ. As we’ve sat under the preaching of the magnificent book, it is undeniable that all our confidence in this life and the next is bound up in the righteousness of Christ made ours through the cross.

So it is fitting to mark the close of our series with a quote on the righteousness Christ for us. Here’s a great one (gleaned from www.firstimportanc.org) that comes at us right out of the experience of John Bunyan. You can taste the joy in his words!

“One day as I was passing into the field, this sentence fell upon my soul: ‘Thy righteousness is in heaven.’ And with the eyes of my soul I saw Jesus at the Father’s right hand. ‘There,’ I said, ‘is my righteousness!’ So that wherever I was or whatever I was doing, God could not say to me, ‘Where is your righteousness?’ For it is always right before him.

I saw that it is not my good frame of heart that made my righteousness better, nor yet my bad frame that made my righteousness worse, for my righteousness IS Christ. Now my chains fell off indeed. My temptations fled away, and I lived sweetly at peace with God.

Now I could look from myself to him and could reckon that all my character was like the coins a rich man carries in his pocket when all his gold is safe in a trunk at home. Oh I saw that my gold was indeed in a trunk at home, in Christ my Lord. Now Christ was all: my righteousness, sanctification, redemption.”

From Bunyan’s Autobiography, Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners