A Trip Down Memory Lane

We’re going to be offering a new feature for our Wedded Wednesdays – a trip down memory lane with some of our Community Group Leaders. Every few Wednesdays we’ll post the love story of one of our Family Life Community Group Couples. We hope you see in these stories the multi-faceted grace of God to bring people together in all kinds of ways, and the sustaining grace to make these marriages present day models for us all.

We’re leading off with Vince and Regina Rinchiuso – who happen to be celebrating their 15^th wedding anniversary tomorrow.

The Story of Vince and Regina Rinchiuso

Vince and I were single parents for five years when mutual friends thought we should meet. To say we were reluctant is a gross understatement! We both put these friends off for almost 8 months when the husband (Eric Burling) approached Vince emphatically declaring he felt it was God’s will that we meet. They arranged a BBQ at their home on a Sunday afternoon. After church there was an incredible hurricane~type storm which was additional confirmation to me that I should not meet this person! Within a few hours the storm passed and we both decided we should get this meeting over with once and for all. We met, had good conversation, and parted ways. There were no fireworks for either of us.

Unfortunately for Vince on the ride home, he felt the Lord speak to him that I would be his wife! He had never experienced “hearing” from God like that and was pretty shaken by it. I say “unfortunately” because the Lord did not speak the same to me that day. Vince patiently pursued me for over a year. If he wanted to spend time with me, he did so accompanied by my many girl friends. His unselfish, caring persistence won my heart. We dated (alone!) for 2 months before we were engaged and were married after a 4 month engagement.

We will celebrate our 15 anniversary on May 1^st! Only God could have brought us together – and he has been so very good to us over the years.

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Unexpected Sabbatical

Have any of you been tracking with the Girl Talk blog over the past few months? They’ve had a series on preparation for seasons such as Postpartum Depression and PMS. It is a very helpful series of blogs with a lot of scripture and biblical wisdom on how to handle our feelings during these times. Check it out. I think you will find it very helpful. I benefited particularly from a post entitled, A Simple Season, where Janelle Mahaney shares how she has had to pull back from her normal schedule and slow down because of morning sickness with the pregnancy of her second child. She said, “I had to acknowledge that the Lord had placed limitations in this season of my life. It was humbling, but these limitations were God-given and for my good.”

I recently got the flu. At first I didn’t think it was more than a cold and tried to push through it. I continued to get up early, go to the pool and swim laps, and carry on, but I finally reached the point where I just had to slow down and rest. In the past, I would not have recognized my limitations. Instead I would have kept pushing and ended up in tears and probably a fit of anger toward my husband or children. But by God’s grace, this time I chose to resist ‘do it all self-sufficiency’ and embraced the limitations God was bringing through a simple virus. In another Girl Talk post, The New Normal Carolyn Mahaney gives suggestions on how to throttle back in a weak season—for example, be sure to feed your soul, focus on key chores such as food and laundry to care for your family, take a warm shower, and slip in a nap or two. The series has loads of both practical help and biblical perspective for ladies in every season of life.

My flu lasted about three weeks, which to me felt like forever. I know my ‘trial’ was very short and mild compared to menopause or postpartum depression. Yet God has used it to help me to grow in humility and my dependence on Him. I pretty much pared down the days to time with the Lord, a little school, making sure we had dinner and sleep! I agree with Janelle, it is humbling, and it’s been for my good. As my weakness increased, the limitations that followed pushed out a lot of the noise in my life (much of it self – generated), and God’s voice became clearer to me. Now that I’m back to more typical responsibilities and projects, I hope I won’t forget this little sabbatical. God continues to teach me that I am to live my life “by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Gal 2:20) not in my own strength.

Straight Talk – Puritan Style

One of the criticisms of the Puritans is how hard they are to read. It can seem like they never had an idea that didn’t require a five hundred word sentence to spell out. But I’ve also found that they can get to the point as well. And when they do – watch out. Puritan straight talk hits home.

For example, I came across the following in Jeremiah Burroughs’ classic, “The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment”. The Puritan grasp on contentment is gift to Christians and we would do well to listen to what they have to say. Not much room for whining in their world. Check this out.

“It is very tedious toward the Spirit of God when we make such bad interpretations of His ways toward us….Should God make the worst interpretation of all your ways toward him, as you do of his towards you, it would be very ill with you.” (223-224)

It’s good to be reminded that my complaining is ‘tedious’ to the Spirit of God. And that it’s a good thing that God isn’t inclined to complain about me.

That’s straight talk from an unexpected source.

Watching God Work Through Unexpected Windows

Did you ever catch a young child pretending to be an adult? It can be a wonderfully joyful experience watching your little girl play a mommy, changing her dolls diaper, or your young son pretending to come home from work calling out, “Honey I’m home.” Our children act out scenes from our lives with comedic simplicity and can play out our weaknesses with convicting clarity. Isn’t it great when God opens an unexpected window into our children through how they play?

The other day I came home from work, through the garage door into the kitchen. Steam rose from a boiling pot, spreading the aroma of the evening meal. My wife stood in front of the stove, her back facing me with sounds of kitchen utensils clanking away. My older daughters were busy as well completing the organized chaos signaling dinner was well under way.

I offered a quick greeting and proceeded through the kitchen to the living room, my normal routine. There I would set down my heavy bag and throw down my coat before turning back to the kitchen to greet my family. But this day my four-year-old daughter Amelia caught my attention. I pause as I noticed her pretend she was reading a book, sitting at the kitchen table.

My heart filled with delight as I watched her holding my wife’s Bible and I heard her say,

“King of Mercy, King of Love, you are my king

Here is something true. He died on the cross,

and we should die on our cross. Right mom?”

“That’s right honey,” my wife answered as I moved on to the living room and set down my bag. I pulled out my lap top and typed out her exact phrase to preserve it. My heart filled with thankfulness realizing my daughter was simply play acting her mommy.

I thought how Lois and I have labored over our children, training them, disciplining them, often without the kind of visible success we want. I thought of our failures, our anger in correcting them and our selfish impatience. Then, I thought of God’s grace. I thought of God’s grace poured out on our children overcome our parenting ineffectiveness. And I was filled with gratefulness that God is at work in my kids, and that he is kind to us to let us see that work through these little windows of play acting that come at unexpected times.

Good Stuff

Pastor's note: One of the features we want to bring to ‘Take Five’ is to get some of the guys in the church in on the blogging action. Here’s our leadoff ‘regular guy’ blogger – Jason Russell

I’ve lost count of how many people have given me this advice in relation to having young kids: “Don’t blink,” or, “Enjoy them, it’s gonna go fast.” While I appreciate these words, in the throes of day to day life it’s easy to forget them. Going from one “now” to the next seems to rush each night along and I forget to actually enjoy it. Now it’s time for taking tubbies, Now we need to sit down for dinner, “Now, stop ramming matchbox cars into your brother’s big toe!”

Saturdays, especially, can fly by. All the things I haven’t gotten to during the week stare at me on Saturday morning. Home projects pile up, bills need to be paid, and there’s that novel I’ve been meaning to write. A few weekends ago it was a sunny day and I decided to take my boys outside to, as my dad would say, “blow the stink off of us.” There’s an old rickety swing in our back yard that, oddly enough, our boys typically gravitate to. As we sat rocking on the swing I happened to have this thought: “I’m gonna miss these days soon.” We sat there rocking, not talking much. We looked up and saw airplanes flying through the sky. We felt the end of winter’s wind on our face. The only sound was the rusty metal squeaking as the swing moved back and forth. And there it hit me. You couldn’t have pulled me away from that moment if you offered me all the money in the world. Ten unhurried minutes with my sons on a sunny day is good stuff. Even if it’s spent on a decrepit swing. Knocking off things from the to-do list didn’t matter. Sprinting to the day’s next event was far from my mind. I just enjoyed being with them and I think they were content too.

I’ve decided to keep that moment on the sticky side of my brain. Before I know it they’ll be 10, then 18, then I’ll be crying on the front pew of the church at their wedding. For now, though, I’m going to try not to blink. I’ll try to actually enjoy the times spent together. Besides the fond memories, when else can a grown man sit and play with dump trucks and dig in the dirt without drawing strange looks from the neighbors?

Make A Date of Portraits of Hope this Friday Night

After a year off, Portraits of Hope is back! This event has become a cherished date on the Covenant Mercies calendar, and a beloved event for many CFC members. Have you considered making this a creative and meaningful date night?

With this in mind, here are Ten reasons why you and your spouse should attend Portraits of Hope this Friday night. Here goes…

10 – It’s a rare opportunity to see Doug Hayes in a suit! (We’re biased, but we think he cleans up pretty nicely).

9 – You’ll get a brief update on the global work of Covenant Mercies.

8 – You won’t have to cook dinner! Complimentary hors d’oeuvres and desserts will be provided by the William Penn Inn, famous for its fine food and hospitality.

7 – It’s a wonderful opportunity to invite friends to a non-threatening event at the church.

6 – Where else can you overspend your “art budget” and feel so good about it?!

5 – Something is available in almost every price range. Even if the bid for your favorite print goes up and out of your league, you can rejoice with Covenant Mercies about that and still find something else within your reach!

4 – You can enjoy the exceptional art of award-winning photographer (and new CFC member) David Sacks, featuring the beautiful people of Ethiopia and the unique urban landscapes of this ancient nation.

3 – We aren’t planning to hold another Portraits of Hope event till 2010.

2 – You get to enjoy the thrill of outbidding your best friends on your favorite photos.

1 – Portraits of Hope is an opportunity to invest into the kingdom of God, and into the work of Covenant Mercies to bring hope to orphans in Ethiopia, Uganda, and Zambia.

We hope to see you on Friday night! Registrations will be taken at the door, so come on out and bring your friends – yes why not double date?

Point Your Toes

I remember it still so clearly...the feeling of it all. The feeling I got when I was working on the balance beam as a member of Temple University’s gymnastics team. It was a terrible feeling of dread down deep in the pit of my stomach. I was scared - scared that I would fall, scared that I would embarrass myself and let my coach and teammates down. With my hair in a perfect bun on my head, chalk on my hands and everything ready to go, my mind raced with a continuous string of thoughts: “Stay tight, point your toes, be confident, you can do this, focus, smile at the mean judge that always gives you low scores and DON’T FALL!” From the time I was 7 until my senior year in college I performed gymnastics. Every move counted. One small step in the wrong place could lose the meet.

It has been a long time since I competed in the sport, but the idea that I’m ‘performing’ can easily characterize my life. Only now I’m performing for God. This has at times left me feeling condemned and also seeking approval from others, similar to the way I sought to please the judges and my gymnastics coaches. So often I can live with a balance beam perspective – all by myself, trying to do the impossible (but look graceful in the process), worried about the slightest bobble, hoping that I don’t lose my balance and splat for all the world to see. You may never have done the balance beam, but maybe you’ve got your own spiritual gymnastics competition going on in your heart.

Since hearing Jared’s recent message on justification from Galatians, it became clear to me. Jared said that every day we can be tempted to relate to God based on our performance. Then he gave us the definition of justification.

“Justification is an act of God’s free grace wherein He pardons all our sins and accepts us as righteous in His sight.”

Because of my Savior and His shed blood, I am righteous in God’s eyes! He doesn’t judge me for the wrong steps, the falls, the bent knees and un-pointed toes. By His grace He not only has accepted me – he has promised to be my strength in the balance beam routines of my life – whether that’s balancing being a mom and a wife or balancing the ‘to do’ list and being led by the Spirit.

Wow! That is amazing! I have already received a perfect 10 because my Savior allowed himself to be placed on the beam of crucifixion as my Redeemer and perfect sacrifice. I am justified freely by grace! I never have to get up on that balance beam and perform with toes pointed ever again!!

Vintage Jesus

Mark Driscoll is pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle. Many identify him as a spokesman for the up and coming generation of Christians – often referred to as the ‘emerging church’. But while Driscoll has planted a church that seeks to reach and disciple young people, he has stood strongly for decidedly ‘un-emerging values’ – chiefly the centrality of the cross, the absolute authority of the Bible, and the importance of a Gospel-preaching, disciple-making local church for all confessing Christians.

What Driscoll does well is provoke and challenge comfort zones. Are you looking for a different way to read your culture this week? Let this quote rattle around your brain as you read the news and drive around in your car. The world and the people you encounter in it may just look a little different to you.

“Today Jesus is alive and well, seated on a throne at the right hand of God the Father being worshiped as God by angels and departed saints.

Today Jesus alone rules and reigns in exalted glory as Lord over man and beast, male and female, gays and straights, young and old, rich and poor, black and white, simple and wise, powerful and powerless, Republicans and Democrats, married and single, chaste and unchaste, modern and postmodern, Christians and non-Christians, angels and demons, the living and the dead, every religion, every spirituality, every philosophy, every thought, every word, every deed, every dollar, and every inch of creation, which he claims as his possession under his throne that is over all.” (From Mark Driscoll and Gerry Breshears, Vintage Jesus, 158-159. Quoted from www.firstimportance.org)

Cost Counting, Cross Carrying

This past Saturday night C. B. Eder spoke to our Cross Culture Youth meeting on one of most challenging texts in the New Testament.

Luke 9:23-24 And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. ²⁴ For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. (See also Matt. 16:24-25 and Mark 8:34-35)

With great passion and pastoral care C. B. brought the weight of this passage to parents and teens alike. So often this call of Jesus to radical discipleship is something that teens are given a pass on – like they’re not really ‘ready’ for primetime discipleship. But Jesus clearly gives this call to “all”, which means, well, “all”. C.B. spoke to everybody there when he talked about the particular challenges of counting the cost to carry the cross that affect families in good churches. He shared a quote from the 150 year old book Holiness by J.C. Ryle, that could have just as easily come from a sermon last week.

“For want of ‘counting the cost,’ the children of religious parents often turn out ill, and bring disgrace on Christianity. Familiar from their earliest years with the form and theory of the gospel, taught even from infancy to repeat great leading texts, accustomed every week to be instructed in the gospel, or to instruct others in Sunday schools - they often grow up professing a religion without knowing why, or without ever having through seriously about it. and then when the realists of grown-up life begin to press upon them, they often astound everyone by dropping all their religions, and plunging right into the world. And why? They had never thoroughly understood the sacrifices with Christianity entails. They had never been taught to ‘count the cost’.” (p.90)

Parents, let’s not assume that good church upbringing creates cost-counting, cross carrying discipleship. Let’s make sure that our kids understand their faith as a faith of sacrifice – most profoundly a sacrifice for them of the precious Son of God. But let them not miss the point of this passage – that it is the Sacrificial Lamb himself who calls everyone to sacrificial obedience. It is the one who was nailed on the cross for us who calls us to pick up the cross daily.

There are dozens of big and small cost counting and cross carrying opportunities each day for us as parents and for our teens. Do we model cost counting and cross carrying in our lives? Do we help them see the call of Jesus to count the cost and carry the cross in their lives? Do we see as an essential part of our parenting helping our children understand ‘the sacrifices that Christianity entails’?

If this is a thought provoking question for you, be freshly convicted and envision by C. B. Eder’s message, which you can access here.

T4G Update

The pastoral team is all gathered in Louisville, KY for Together for the Gospel 2008. It has been a great time of outstanding teaching from the likes of Al Mohler, Ligon Duncan, Mark Dever, John MacArthur, and R. C. Sproul. We finish off this morning with John Piper and CJ Mahaney. One unusual feature of T4G is that after each session there is a panel where all the other speakers sit down and interact with the guy who just spoke over his message and its implications. These are rich times to hear some amazing theological minds debate and dialogue over important issues for the church in our day.

T4G is a unique context where pastors and leaders are gathering together to celebrate and strategize for how to build gospel centered churches regardless of denomination or tradition. For us Sovereign Grace Pastors it is a chance to connect with brothers with whom we share common vision and purpose, and to rub shoulders with men from other areas of the evangelical world and learn from them as well.

A highlight for me was a message by Thabati Anyawabile, a Baptist pastor and former Muslim who ministers now in Grand Cayman. Let’s just say, any man who makes the point that, ‘what we call race does not in reality exist’ sets out a pretty daunting proposition in our day and time. What followed was an eye opening look at how the Bible challenges even the most basic assumptions we have about race and racism.

Another highlight was a message on the substitutionary atonement of Christ by R. C. Sproul. To hear this man who has labored for decades to call the church to on-your-face reverence for the holiness of God and life defining love for the Savior is to experience preaching with extra-ordinary depth and weight. I was undone by the last simple sentence of Dr. Sproul’s message:

The Gospel is the only hope we have, and it is hope enough.

If you want to find out more on T4G, Tim Challies is doing a blow by blow blog on it at www.challies.com.

The Gifts of Marriage

In his blog “The Blazing Center,” Mark Altrogge recently related the following story under the heading “An Opal Ring and a Piping Bullfinch.” His point was to celebrate the tender kindness of a God who gives us more than we can ask or imagine. But it is also just a wonderful little romantic story of a husband and wife in the delightful generosity of a God-glorifying marriage.

Charles Spurgeon's wife was an invalid for many years and usually unable to accompany her husband on his travels. She writes: "One ever-recurring question when he had to leave me was, 'what can I bring you, wifey?’ I seldom answered him by a request, for I had all things richly to enjoy, except health. But, one day, when he put the usual query, I said, playfully, 'I should like an opal ring, and a piping bullfinch!’ He looked surprised, and rather amused; but simply replied, 'Ah, you know I cannot get those for you!'

Mrs. Spurgeon recalls how they "made merry" over her request for two or three days. Then one Thursday evening Charles returned from the church "with such a beaming face, and such love-lighted eyes, that I knew something had delighted him very much.” He held in his hand a tiny box, from which he took a ring and placed it on her finger. "There is your opal ring, my darling," he said, and told her how he'd received it. An old lady whom Spurgeon had visited once when she was ill had sent a note to the church requesting that someone come and pick up a small gift for Mrs. Spurgeon. His secretary picked up the parcel and brought it to Charles, who unwrapped it to find the ring.

Mrs. Spurgeon writes, "How we talked of the Lord's tender love for His stricken child, and of His condescension in thus stooping to supply an unnecessary gratification to His dear servant's sick one...I can remember feeling that the Lord was very near to us."

Not long after that God surprised Mrs. Spurgeon again. She writes, "One evening, when my dear husband came from London, he brought a large package with him, and, uncovering it, disclosed a cage containing a lovely piping bullfinch!...He had been to see a dear friend of ours, whose husband was sick unto death; and, after commending the sufferer to God in prayer, Mrs. T-- said to him, 'I want you to take my pet bird to Mrs. Spurgeon, I would give him to none but her; his songs are too much for my poor husband in his weak state, and I know that 'Bully' will interest and amuse Mrs. Spurgeon in her loneliness while you are so much away from her.'

She writes, "When 'Bully' piped his pretty song, and took a hemp seed as a reward from the lips of his new mistress, there were eyes with joyful tears in them, and hearts overflowing with praise to God, in the little room by the sea that night; and the dear Pastor's comment was, 'I think you are one of your Heavenly Father's spoiled children, and He just gives you whatever you ask for."

Mrs. Spurgeon reminds us, "He who cares for all the works of His hand, cares with infinite tenderness for the children of His love, and thinks nothing which concerns them too small or too trivial to notice.” She concluded this story saying, "'Bully's' sweet little life and ministry ended at Brighton; but the memory of the Lord's tenderness in giving him to me is a life-long treasure; and the opal ring glistens on my finger as I write this paragraph.” (From The Full Harvest, The Autobiography of Charles Spurgeon)

Better Than Coach Bags

I’m enjoying my weekly oasis of think time at Starbucks, thanks to my husband who lovingly kicks me out the door for an hour most Sundays for a little perspective gathering. After trying to order a drink with eight names that my friend Jill always gets, and mixing up breve’ and latte’, I sat down and set up shop: expensive coffee-concoction, Jim’s laptop which I steal for these occasions, my Bible, a book, and a pen. A little table of happiness.

The fatherhood of God, which we have been learning about on Sunday mornings, was one of the first topics to come to mind. We have been hearing some astounding things about our adoption in Christ! I just reread some of the Ephesians passages that tell me things I can hardly believe, but delight to try—things like God sending the Spirit of his Son into my heart, crying “Abba! Father!” Amazing. Truly amazing.

To my left is a group of women in their fifties who are sipping their eight-named drinks, and talking for the past half hour. I’m not trying to eavesdrop, but it’s impossible. They started with a passionate discussion about highlighting experiences they’ve had at a local salon. One got too dark a color (grave concern all around.) The next few topics that floated my way centered on ‘Coach’ products (the Coach boots seemed to be a satisfactory purchase— they weren’t so sure about the bags.) We then proceeded to high heels and the balance between comfort and style. Discussion ended with laments over the pressure to compete with younger people in the business world.

They seemed like a nice group of ladies, and I’ve talked about some of those topics myself. But I can’t help thinking about the inexplicable grace that has come my way, enabling my mind to be filled at this moment with priceless pearls from the truth of God’s word. I’ve found a treasure that buries a Coach bag—even boots! Transformation that makes my worst highlighting experience an extremely “light and momentary trouble.” My adoption into the eternal, glorious family of God took no skill or requirement from me, and there was no competition from younger, better-qualified applicants.

I sit here in this sweatshirt and ponytail, the richest, most extravagantly treated woman in the world. I am a child, even an heir of God Most High. I have the love of a perfect Father, the full rights of sonship, free and unlimited access to his throne, and a future of undeserved blessing and bliss in his presence.

Lord, may this “soaking” be more than skin-deep. May the priceless story of our adoption flood our hearts, bringing waves of joy and a new and star-struck view of our true Treasure.

Been Done Wrong?

Did you ever find yourself struggling with a sense that somebody ‘done you wrong’? Maybe something simple like your spouse doing ‘that thing’ that you specifically asked them not to do? Or a neighbor who borrows a tool and returns it late and in worse condition than they took it – with no apology. Maybe you’ve been done wrong in a more significant way. You’ve been slandered. Your teenager blames you for their lousy life. Someone has committed a crime against you.

Life in this world means we will be wronged. But does being wronged need to be a life consuming experience? How can we rise above both the small and great ‘been done wrong’ experiences of life? Jonathan Edwards, who knew from experience about being wronged, gives us a key to rising above wrongs done to us in his classic exposition of 1 Corinthians 13, “Charity and Its Fruits”.

Men can injure God's people only with respect to worldly good. But the more a man loves God, the less is his heart set on the things of the world, and the less he feels the injuries that his enemies may inflict, because they cannot reach beyond these things. And so it often is the case, that the friends of God hardly think the injuries they receive from men are worthy of the name of injuries, and the calm and quietness of their minds are scarcely disturbed by them. And as long as they have the favor and friendship of God, they are not much concerned about the evil work and injuries of men. (Page 81)

The wrongs done to us should never define us, because they can never touch that which is most important to us, and that which is most important about us. We have been declared righteous and have received the favor and friendship of God through the reconciliation of Jesus Christ crucified and raised for our sin and our salvation!

Milk Shake Monday

As I looked down the row at my four older children this past Sunday, they were all paying close attention to the message and carefully taking notes of the sermon. Even my 6^th grade son, who remained in the meeting rather than going to class, was scratching down the main points on his pad. It was working, I thought to myself.

Now lest you think my children are the picture of the perfect church family, allow me to let you in on a secret. Each Monday after dinner, if those present in the Sunday meeting all took notes, we have a “Milk Shake Monday.” That means mom and dad have to be taking notes as well. Sounds like bribery you say? I must admit it is pragmatic, bordering on manipulation. But, if you are going to cave in to a little coercion in your parenting, this isn’t a bad place to place a bribe.

There are real benefits. First, my children pay better attention to the preaching of God’s word. Secondly, I pay better attention to the preaching of God’s word. Third, when my children do take notes, I am assured that we will be doing a family review Monday after dinner. There are milk shakes at stake! Finally, those who were not in the meeting, due to a service commitment or sickness, get to hear the main points of the message they missed. All around it is a great tool to help us do what we want and need to be doing anyway.

The process is fairly simple. Tell your children that if they take notes on Sunday along with you, you will have a Milk Shake Monday to discuss the message. After dinner on Monday, print out the “Take it Home” questions from the Covenant Fellowship Church website (or sign up your email address to have them emailed to you each Monday), while the kids get out their notes. Make the milkshakes, nice and thick, and afterwards have a ten minute discussion. Sometimes questions will emerge which will actually create a good discussion – like, ‘hey that wasn’t his second point, that was a sub-point of his first point!’ That certainly beats ‘he never does his chores’ as post dinner sibling rivalry, doesn’t it? Oh, one other tip. Don’t try to do the discussion until the last slurp is through. The sucking sound of a teen trying to vacuum the last bit of foam off their glass ruins the conversation.

Have You Prayed For Your Sports Hero Today?

This is maybe my favorite week of the sports year – the NCAA Finals, early season baseball, start of the NHL playoffs, playoff races in the NBA, Derby preps, and of course, The Masters. So, pardon the indulgence, but I had to drop in a sports blog.

Tim Challies, a very insightful blogger (www.challies.com), recently did an interview with Ben Zobrist, a young baseball player with the Tampa Bay Rays. I found this guy to be somewhat unusual for the Christian athletes I’ve seen interviewed. How? Well, when asked about recent books he’s read he named Richard Baxter’s “The Saint’s Everlasting Rest”, and A. W. Pink’s “The Attributes of God” – not exactly Sports Center material. Second is his strong connection to his local church. Even on the road Zobrist has found ways to stay up on sermon series, and maintain fellowship by staying part of a men’s theology class and sending email updates to his pastor and church family. Here are some excerpts from the Q&A:

Do you feel any particular kind of increased responsibility as both a Christian and an athlete?

I do sense an increased responsibility as a Christian athlete in our culture, because our culture exalts performance so much. There are many kids and adults alike who dream of being in our shoes. I believe as a Christian athlete, we are called to use that highly respected platform to deflect any praise to Whom it really belongs and to help people see beyond the glory of a man-made game or ballpark.

How can we pray for Christian athletes? What particular needs or challenges do athletes have that require prayer?

Pray first and foremost against idolatry for us. It is easy to make success in our sport an idol when you want to be excellent. It is easy to set ourselves above others and most grievously above God when people treat you “special”, almost like an idol. Pray for right perspective and constant humility against our prideful flesh. Pray against temptation of all things worldly. And pray for spiritual openness and conversation amongst believers. Athletes tend to have hard outer shells and they think it is weak to share their hearts.

While we don’t want to spiritually idolize an athlete any more than we want to culturally idolize one, it is good and right to rejoice in God’s work among those who might have the least sense of inherent need for Him. Why not pick a favorite athlete and make him a regular focus of prayer?

To read the entire interview with Ben Zobrist here.

Mohler, Marriage and the Glory of God

In his April 2 commentary, Southern Seminary president Al Mohler offers a concise but compelling biblical view of marriage. Mohler draws on a truly ‘old school’ source to help us see the truly radical and God-magnifying purpose of marriage in its true intent.

How does marriage glorify God? Tertullian, one of the early church fathers, offers wisdom: "How beautiful, then, the marriage of two Christians, two who are one in home, one in desire, one in the way of life they follow, one in the religion they practice . . . Nothing divides them either in flesh or in spirit . . . They pray together, they worship together, they fast together; instructing one another, encouraging one another, strengthening one another. Side by side they visit God's church and partake God's banquet, side by side they face difficulties and persecution, share their consolations. They have no secrets from one another; they never shun each other's company; they never bring sorrow to each other's hearts . . . Seeing this Christ rejoices. To such as these He gives His peace. Where there are two together, there also He is present."

In our Wedded Wednesday’s blogs we want to offer support and focus for the marriages in Covenant Fellowship Church. But we always want to be mindful of the big picture that makes our daily efforts more than relationship management. To build our marriages is glorious work!

Read the whole article here.

Backyard Invasion

Whiffleball season has begun at the Demi Compound (as Kimm Harvey affectionately calls our home). Already three big dirt spots have appeared replacing the once green areas that were sown last fall. I'm gearing up for the onslaught of neighborhood kids who will take over our yard in the coming months. How does one prepare for such an invasion?

About 17 years ago I read a book by Karen Mains which changed my perspective on hospitality – especially in showing hospitality to kids. In the book she told a simple story about carrying a load of laundry down the steps. As she nudged her away around her daughter and her friend who were seated on the stairs, she heard her daughter's friend say, "I love to come to your house. Your mother doesn't yell all the time the way my mother does." She also shared about how, when in high school, her girlfriend said to her, "Does your mother always sing around the house like that – like I heard her singing when we were talking on the phone yesterday?" When Karen answered that she did, her girlfriend looked at her with envy and said, "You're so lucky!"

After reading those stores, so many years ago, God began planting the desire in my heart to cultivate a home where even kids would be welcomed - that they would experience something different - the love of Christ.

I know that it's a miracle of grace which causes me to love having the house where the neighbor kids hang out. The Holy Spirit helps me to think when the kids are outside making bare spots in our grass, coming in for drinks or using our bathroom (when their own houses are only yards away) that we may be the only Christian family that they will ever see. With that in mind, I want to represent Christ to them. I want them in my home to see how Jeff and I interact, to hear the music that we have playing, to smell a home-baked meal, to overhear our conversations, or even occasionally… my singing.

Thanks to the intentional leadership of my husband, our kids are aware that they should be looking for opportunities to share the gospel with these unsaved friends. We pray for our neighbors together as a family. And, through our relationship with these kids, we're developing relationships with their parents. We don't think that where we live is an accident or that our home is ours but that it's God's instrument to be used as He desires.

Yes, there is a cost to this type of hospitality… handprints on the walls, cups outside on the porch, popsicle wrappers in the yard, fingerprints on the sliding glass doors. But, by faith I'm believing that just maybe God will use the experience that they had in our home to draw them to Himself. Compared to that hope, I can live with a few dirt spots in our lawn.

Between Two Worlds

One of the inescapable realities of life in Christ is that we discover that the world we live in is not the world we are destined for. So the Christian life is a constant tension between the temporal world that draws our attention and the world of the Kingdom of God that demands our allegiance. One of the clearest statements of this tension I’ve ever seen comes from R. C. Sproul in his book Pleasing God.

“We live in this world. We are part of this world. We are to a certain degree products of this world. And the world is our battlefield.....The world is a seducer. It seeks to attract our attention and our devotion. It remains so close at hand, so visible, so enticing. It eclipses our view of heaven.....It pleases us - much of the time anyway - and, alas, we often live our lives to please it. And that is where the conflict ensues, for pleasing the world so seldom overlaps with pleasing God.” (p. 57-59)

As you go through your week how will you live between two worlds?

Call Me Irresponsible

With my five-year-old daughter Amelia securely planted in her booster seat, delighted to be the sole guest of her father on a short shopping trip, I popped on my iPod and began to sing her a favorite Michael Buble’ song, “Call Me Irresponsible”. The love song is a clever play on negative characteristics and comes to a climax with the line, “But it’s undeniably true, I’m irresponsibly mad for you.” As I sang, unconcerned for what folks in cars around me were thinking, I tipped the rear view mirror down to make eye contact with Amelia. I started the song over and started singing to her.

I could sense her mind calculating why I would sing a song declaring I was irresponsible, unreliable and unpredictable. But she could bear no more when I reached the climax and sang to her, “I’m irresponsibly mad for you.” Objecting she said, “Dad, why are you mad for me, that’s not nice. Why would you say that?” Pausing the iPod I replied, “No honey, mad for you means I really love you.” “Oh,” she said; and then she seemed to fall back into thought.

Taking the iPod off pause I finished the song with her smiling. Looking up at her in the mirror I smiled back, pleased that I had in a special way communicated my affections. As we neared our destination we ran into heavier traffic, pulling my attention back to driving.

“Dad,” Amelia called from the back seat, “I’m mad about you dad,” She was clearly proud of her quick study of this new term of endearment. I simply smiled back, glad that I took the time to bring her along and thankful to the Lord for a very special moment between my daughter and me. Once again I realized that quality time, sometimes occurring in seconds, is usually found in the midst of quantity time, occurring over hours. How many times have I rushed to the store, missing the opportunity to spend time with one of my children? How many times have I discovered just how special everyday routines can be if you take time to share them with those that you love.

Short, Bald, and Victimized

I read an article recently in the US Today Money section called “The Bald Truth About CEO’s” (3/14/08). The gist of the article was this: If you want to make your mark in business, you’d better be tall and have good hair (this presumably means you’re male as well). But if you can’t have all that, it is better to be bald than short. In fact 95% of an unscientific survey of executives said that bald is better than short in the boardroom.

As a guy who is both bald(ing) and short, not to mention stocky, this bit of news did not make my day. But now I finally understand why I’ve been passed over for all those top dog corporate jobs - like general manager of the 76rs. I mean, these jobs open up and get filled and I never even get a call for an interview!

So apparently I’m a victim of follicle/footage discrimination. But wait, it gets worse. According to the article, I am also a victim of ‘baby-faced bias’ (you only have to see my new driver’s license to see how this applies to me.) As the article states,

“Yale University psychology professor Leslie Zebrowski has written extensively about how people with round faces and other traits that resemble babies are perceived to be more immature in the workplace and in the courtroom by juries and judges.”

Providentially, my grades were never good enough for law school, so I’ve been spared the humiliation of being treated like an infant by judges and juries all these years. Yet I find great commonality with my baby-faced attorney brethren out there. I feel your pain.

I am not without inspiration in this battle against injustice. I do have my patron saints of short and bald. Zacchaeus for one. Martin Luther. And Danny DeVito. And the former president of Starbucks, who speaks for all of us SBBF’s (short, bald, baby-faced) when he comments,

“I mean, look at Mitt Romney. Lots of hair. Tall and good-looking. Sure didn’t help him. Compare him to the Dalai Lama: short, no hair, not exactly a looker.”

I can’t buy the Dalai Lama’s religion, but if you’re an SBBF you’ve got to identify with the guy as a fellow victim of discrimination.

What I’ve realized in all this is that it doesn’t take much to make me a victim. A newspaper article will do just fine. Or maybe an email that doesn’t give me the benefit of the doubt. A mistake by my bank. When my wife doesn’t melt in mercy and compassion when I complain about my day. I can get to victimization from any of them.

I like being a victim. It allows me to justify all kinds of attitudes. It absolves me of being concerned about anyone but myself. But there is something about being an SBBF that nags at me. I like some of the benefits, but I don’t think short, bald and baby-faced is all I want to be. It seems that I have a choice – to look for reasons to be a victim, or to look for reasons to be a disciple. And when I think about the Savior who gave himself for me (Is. 53:7) I realize that my petty victimizations actually cost me far more than being a disciple ever could.

The Vow

On March 9 a feature story entitled “The Vow” ran in the Washington Post.

“The Vow” is the story of couple who have endured eight years of intense trial due to a mysterious debilitating illness the wife contracted – an illness which has left her totally dependent on his care. It is a remarkable article, as it is clear that this is a Christian couple and this paper is, well, the Washington Post. The focus of the article is on whether a marriage that is primarily a trial can be sustained by the power of a marriage vow alone. Here is the perspective of the husband on how he is sustained in his marriage,

In thinking about love, Dave thought a lot about marriage. For years, he had studied Ephesians, in which Paul somewhat problematically describes marriage, saying, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” His sisters found this directive sexist, but Dave argued that it does not, in fact, give the man the upper hand.

"I think people misinterpret it," he says. "It talks about the woman being submissive to the man, but it also talks about the husband loving his wife as much as Christ loves the church. The man should give his life for his wife. It talks about how you should leave your mom and dad and cleave to your spouse.” It is this idea, of marriage as a mutual cleaving, that sustains him.

"If I didn't have that as a core value, I don't know what would keep me fighting the battle. Without something that gives me some higher reason, I would probably lose a lot of the strength that I have."

If you have not read this piece, it is worth the time. It will humble you and remind you that God gives the grace to do whatever needs to be done to honor and preserve marriage. Also worth checking out is the editor’s side piece where he asks the questions we all need to ask in reading “The Vow”

When I encountered (the story) about Dave Kendall, whose wife, Diana, discovered she had an almost totally debilitating disease eight years ago, I reacted the same way most of you will: a stunned moment of awe at Dave's devotion and sacrifice, followed by some very uncomfortable questions. If I were in Dave's position, would I be able to react so selflessly, so honorably? Could I give up almost every single perk of marriage in return for an ever-increasing list of responsibilities? And the trickiest part: If I even attempted it, could I do so without falling into a swamp of bitterness and self-pity?

It doesn't take long to figure out that those are questions -- like "How would I react in combat?” -- that are unanswerable in the abstract. The answers must emerge, if, God forbid, you ever find yourself in that situation, in the day-after-day-after-day reality in which you learn things about yourself that only those under fire can know. (From the Washington Post)

The apostle Paul reminds us that grace is sufficient for our need. “The Vow” is a display of that grace in the crucible of sustained trial in marriage.

A Vision For Hospitality

From Mark: Trish did a wonderful job casting a vision for hospitality. We thought it might serve the women of the church to have some of the key ideas from her message. We would also love to hear your thoughts on the message and how God is envisioning you for hospitality. Please feel free to respond to this blog with any thoughts you have.

A Vision for Hospitality

Trish Donohue – March 29, 2008

What is hospitality? The Greek word in the Bible means “fondness or affection for strangers, generosity to guests”. The connotation it carries is one of lovingly and cheerfully welcoming people into our lives and our homes. Real hospitality is not another plate to spin. It is not just another offhand topic to fill up a women’s meeting. It’s so much more profound—an outworking of the heart of our gracious Savior—a reflection of him. God loves and demonstrates hospitality more than anyone.

God did something astounding. To secure a permanent place for us in his presence, in a way we couldn’t ruin, He left his courts of glory and stepped into a place now filled with evil, poverty, and death. At incomprehensible cost to himself, he gave his life, and ripped that temple’s “Keep Out” curtain in two, securing for us an open door into his home and into his heart. We see the ultimate fulfillment of this in Revelation 21:3

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.

In the most amazing act of hospitality, he opens the door and says, “What’s mine is yours – my home, my righteousness, my riches. Take it. Even my Father shall be your Father. Enter into the joy of my rest. It’s the widest invitation of hospitality we’ll ever see.

Because God has opened his door to us, we are called to open our doors to others. Hospitality is not entertaining – it is a significant way we image God to others. What is the difference between ‘entertaining’ and hospitality? Karen Mains does a good job of presenting this contrast in a book she’s written on hospitality. I’ve summarized her thoughts:

Secular Entertaining	Biblical Hospitality
Is based on pride I want to impress you with my beautiful home, my clever decorating, my gourmet cooking.	Is based on service and ministry This house (or life) isn’t mine. It’s a gift, and as a servant, I use it as God desires.
Puts things before people I’ll have them over when that room is decorated or the dishes upgraded.	Puts people before things If an invitation would serve them, we’ll work with what we have even if it’s not much.
Communicates: this is mine	Communicates: what’s mine is yours
Finds it’s inspiration in magazines	Finds its inspiration in God’s Word

If we embrace a vision of hospitality that is appropriate for our season of life, we will see God move in us and through us in ways we might never imagine. As Alexander Strauch has said in his excellent book “The Hospitality Commands”,

“I don’t think Christians today understand how essential hospitality is to the flames of love and strengthening of the Christian family. Hospitality fleshes out love in a uniquely personal and sacrificial way. Through the ministry of hospitality, we share our most prized possessions. We share our family, home, finances, food, privacy, and time. Indeed, we share our very lives. So hospitality is always costly. Through the ministry of hospitality we provide friendship, acceptance, fellowship, refreshment, comfort, and love in one of the richest and deepest ways possible for humans to understand. Unless we open the doors of our homes to one another, the reality of the local church as a close-knit family of loving brothers and sisters is only a theory.” Alexander Strauch