Editor’s Note: On January 24th, Brian Vander Weide preached a message called Pay Attention to What You Hear from Mark 4:21-25. The following post is a summary of The Extra Point that followed…a time designed specifically for parents to help their teens process the preached Word. The audio for both the message and the extra point can be found at here.
We love our children. We would do anything for them. And we want the best for them.
We love God. We would do anything for Him. And we want so desperately for our children to know our God.
As good as this desire is, an overemphasis on this can lead to some real parenting challenges. Here are two worth considering.
Faith
Our love for both our God and our children can drive us to press for certainty that they truly know Him. We long to see fruit in their lives. We want them to pursue us for godly wisdom.
Yet, try as we might, we cannot make them see God. We cannot make them hear. We cannot make them pay attention and take action. Though we would love to, we can’t give them our faith…we can’t give them our sanctification. Those things are really between them and God.
God calls us to a place of faith. His love for our children exceeds ours. His commitment to our children exceeds ours. If He is the changer of lives and the saver of souls, then our trust must be in Him doing it…not us.
Are we still to parent? …to exhort? …to correct? Of course we are…we must. But we are to leave the results to God. We are to be faithful in our duties, in our prayers, in our love and commitment, but we are not to end up in a place of fear…but of faith.
An absence of faith will often drive us to interfere with God’s work in their lives. The must experience His conviction…not ours. Many walls have been built by well-intended parents who have overstepped their boundaries…into God’s jurisdiction. We want to be encouraging open conversation about spiritual matters. When we press in the absence of faith, we often shut down lines of communication.
That leads to the other challenge worth considering…
Mercy
Imagine a runner who is running as hard as he can. He is not the fastest nor the most fit, but he runs hard. Behind him is a coach on a bike, telling him to run harder, take longer strides, press more. The initial effect might pick up the pace, but after the continued yelling and criticizing, the runner will slow down…or stop running altogether. The coach has broken his will to run.
Without mercy guiding our parenting, we can fall into the same trap as this coach. We can define our role in their lives as yelling motivation into them. “Why aren’t you paying more attention?” “Why don’t you ever follow through on what we tell you?” But the goal is not to be the “fastest” runner, but to run as fast as we can.
It’s important to remember that our children are in process. Their walk may be sporadic…inconsistent. It may depend on the issue…or the day.
We shouldn’t excuse their sin…but we should understand it. God understands ours…and extends mercy upon mercy toward us. We now can extend that mercy to them.
We are parenting children in process. We can parent them from behind for times when they fall. We can parent them from in front by living and example for them to follow. We can parent them from the side as we show compassion as a fellow sinner. Our parenting ought to be a surrounding parenting…not a smothering one.
God will meet us with the faith and mercy that we need to give. He will meet our children who are in process. He will…he will…he will.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The Other Side of The Field
Lori Snyder sent me the article below this week. It was taken from the Truth Project web site at Focus on the Family. You can look at the original ESPN article as well
As we endure the bloated hype of another Superbowl week, hoping the game isn’t overwhelmed in the process, here’s a reminder of what can at the other end of the field.
High school football is big in America. But I suppose there is no place where it is bigger than in Texas. Friday nights there are legend.
The fans scream; the stands are packed; cheerleaders with pom-poms jump and sway to the beat of the school band; parents yell encouragement (mostly); mom's turn their eyes away when their little boys are crunched by the "bullies on the other team who didn't really have to hit him that hard, did he?" and everybody joins in the chants and stomps their feet on the metal stands until you are sure they will collapse.
This is the frenzy of Texas high school football.
However, there is a football team in Texas that is a little different. When they play on Friday night, their stands are pretty much empty, no band, no cheerleaders, no mass of parents or townsfolk wearing the school colors and waving banners and flags. They take the field without anyone cheering them on. When they get a first down, there is no deafening surge from the stands. When they score a touchdown, which rarely happens, there is no wild celebration behind them…only the individual shouts of satisfaction that come from the 14 players and their coach and the 20 or so people that are sitting on their side of the field. All of it seems hollow and muffled in contrast to the tidal wave of roars and drums and chants that come from the opposing side.
They are the Tornadoes of the Gainesville State School, a fenced, maximum-security facility of the Texas Youth Commission. The young men who go to Gainesville State are there because they have made some major mistakes in their lives. But the players who are on the team are there because they have worked hard and have disciplined themselves to meet the "criteria" that gives them the privilege to leave the facility and play football on Friday nights—always an away game for them—always a home game for their opponents—and almost always a loss. They don't have a weight program or training equipment or high-paid coaches and assistants. They don't have a large pool of players to draw from. The school has 275 boys, but many are too old or too young or can't or don't meet the "criteria" to play. And they don't have the support of a town and a mass of parents and family and reporters and bands and cheerleaders.
That is, until November 7th. Something changed. They played Grapevine Faith Christian School.
The way the Gainesville coach, Mark Williams, recounted it for me, it went something like this: Earlier in the week, he had received a call from Faith Christian coach, Kris Hogan, asking him if it would be okay if Faith formed a "spirit" line for his team when they ran on the field. Mark said, "Sure, that would be a real encouragement to the kids." He thought that the line would consist of a couple of the JV cheerleaders, but when they took the field, there were a hundred people in it and it stretched to the 40-yard line, filled with Faith parents, fans and varsity cheerleaders, complete with a banner at the end for them to burst through that read "Go Tornadoes!". And then, those parents and fans sat in the stands behind the Gainesville players and when the Tornadoes broke the huddle and went up to the line they could hear people cheering for them, by name. When they got a first down, "their" fans erupted.
You see, coach Hogan had sent an email out to the Faith Christian family asking them to consider doing something kind for these young men, many who didn't know what it meant to have a mom and dad who cared, many who felt the world was against them, not for them. Hogan asked that they simply send a message that these boys were "just as valuable as any other person on earth."
So half of the Faith Christian fans were now sitting on the visitor's side of the field, cheering for the Gainesville team, and in some cases, against their own sons.
–Cheering for a team decked out in old uniforms and helmets.
–Cheering for boys who wouldn't go home that night and have a smiling dad slap him on the back and feel his mom put her arms around him and say "I'm so proud of you son!"
–Cheering for the underdog.
Though the score was familiar (down 33-0 at half-time), this was a Friday night like no other for the Tornadoes. In the locker room, the players were confused.
"Why are they cheerin' for us, coach?"
"Because, men, they want to encourage you. They want you to know that they care about you…that you have value."
Coach Williams said the boys were stunned. For many of these kids, it may have been the first time that anyone had shown them, so visibly, unconditional love.
Williams then encouraged them to set a goal for the second half: to score a touchdown. And when they took the field again, with their fans cheering them on, they did. Williams said, "Everything started to click in the second half. Our passes started to click. Our sweeps and counters started to click." And they did score. Two touchdowns.
And the fans went wild.
I asked Coach Williams what the bus ride was like on the way home and he laughed and told me that they were all asleep—their bellies were full. After the game, the parents brought a whole bunch of food over to the guys: hamburgers, fries, candy, sodas…and included in the meal sack was a Bible and a letter of encouragement from a Faith Christian player. But then, he said, they formed a line for us out to the bus. And the parents patted them on the back and said, "Nice game" and "Look forward to seeing you guys next time."
The phone went dead at this point. I think Coach Williams was choking back some tears. And so was I.
I asked him one final question: "If you could tell other people one thing about your kids, what would it be?" He said, "Don't be scared of them. Treat them with respect. Yes, they've made some mistakes, but they are trying their best to turn their life around. Give 'em a shot at it."
As they left the field that night, Coach Williams grabbed Coach Hogan and said to him: "You'll never know what your people did for these kids tonight. You'll never, ever know."
When the world looks at a Christian, the number one thing they should see is what was shown on a high school football field last fall in Texas.
Jesus said: "Let your light shine among men is such a way that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven."
Let us do so.
Thanks to Coach Hogan for caring and sending that email.
Thanks to Coach Williams for his dedication and love for his guys.
As we endure the bloated hype of another Superbowl week, hoping the game isn’t overwhelmed in the process, here’s a reminder of what can at the other end of the field.
High school football is big in America. But I suppose there is no place where it is bigger than in Texas. Friday nights there are legend.
The fans scream; the stands are packed; cheerleaders with pom-poms jump and sway to the beat of the school band; parents yell encouragement (mostly); mom's turn their eyes away when their little boys are crunched by the "bullies on the other team who didn't really have to hit him that hard, did he?" and everybody joins in the chants and stomps their feet on the metal stands until you are sure they will collapse.
This is the frenzy of Texas high school football.
However, there is a football team in Texas that is a little different. When they play on Friday night, their stands are pretty much empty, no band, no cheerleaders, no mass of parents or townsfolk wearing the school colors and waving banners and flags. They take the field without anyone cheering them on. When they get a first down, there is no deafening surge from the stands. When they score a touchdown, which rarely happens, there is no wild celebration behind them…only the individual shouts of satisfaction that come from the 14 players and their coach and the 20 or so people that are sitting on their side of the field. All of it seems hollow and muffled in contrast to the tidal wave of roars and drums and chants that come from the opposing side.
They are the Tornadoes of the Gainesville State School, a fenced, maximum-security facility of the Texas Youth Commission. The young men who go to Gainesville State are there because they have made some major mistakes in their lives. But the players who are on the team are there because they have worked hard and have disciplined themselves to meet the "criteria" that gives them the privilege to leave the facility and play football on Friday nights—always an away game for them—always a home game for their opponents—and almost always a loss. They don't have a weight program or training equipment or high-paid coaches and assistants. They don't have a large pool of players to draw from. The school has 275 boys, but many are too old or too young or can't or don't meet the "criteria" to play. And they don't have the support of a town and a mass of parents and family and reporters and bands and cheerleaders.
That is, until November 7th. Something changed. They played Grapevine Faith Christian School.
The way the Gainesville coach, Mark Williams, recounted it for me, it went something like this: Earlier in the week, he had received a call from Faith Christian coach, Kris Hogan, asking him if it would be okay if Faith formed a "spirit" line for his team when they ran on the field. Mark said, "Sure, that would be a real encouragement to the kids." He thought that the line would consist of a couple of the JV cheerleaders, but when they took the field, there were a hundred people in it and it stretched to the 40-yard line, filled with Faith parents, fans and varsity cheerleaders, complete with a banner at the end for them to burst through that read "Go Tornadoes!". And then, those parents and fans sat in the stands behind the Gainesville players and when the Tornadoes broke the huddle and went up to the line they could hear people cheering for them, by name. When they got a first down, "their" fans erupted.
You see, coach Hogan had sent an email out to the Faith Christian family asking them to consider doing something kind for these young men, many who didn't know what it meant to have a mom and dad who cared, many who felt the world was against them, not for them. Hogan asked that they simply send a message that these boys were "just as valuable as any other person on earth."
So half of the Faith Christian fans were now sitting on the visitor's side of the field, cheering for the Gainesville team, and in some cases, against their own sons.
–Cheering for a team decked out in old uniforms and helmets.
–Cheering for boys who wouldn't go home that night and have a smiling dad slap him on the back and feel his mom put her arms around him and say "I'm so proud of you son!"
–Cheering for the underdog.
Though the score was familiar (down 33-0 at half-time), this was a Friday night like no other for the Tornadoes. In the locker room, the players were confused.
"Why are they cheerin' for us, coach?"
"Because, men, they want to encourage you. They want you to know that they care about you…that you have value."
Coach Williams said the boys were stunned. For many of these kids, it may have been the first time that anyone had shown them, so visibly, unconditional love.
Williams then encouraged them to set a goal for the second half: to score a touchdown. And when they took the field again, with their fans cheering them on, they did. Williams said, "Everything started to click in the second half. Our passes started to click. Our sweeps and counters started to click." And they did score. Two touchdowns.
And the fans went wild.
I asked Coach Williams what the bus ride was like on the way home and he laughed and told me that they were all asleep—their bellies were full. After the game, the parents brought a whole bunch of food over to the guys: hamburgers, fries, candy, sodas…and included in the meal sack was a Bible and a letter of encouragement from a Faith Christian player. But then, he said, they formed a line for us out to the bus. And the parents patted them on the back and said, "Nice game" and "Look forward to seeing you guys next time."
The phone went dead at this point. I think Coach Williams was choking back some tears. And so was I.
I asked him one final question: "If you could tell other people one thing about your kids, what would it be?" He said, "Don't be scared of them. Treat them with respect. Yes, they've made some mistakes, but they are trying their best to turn their life around. Give 'em a shot at it."
As they left the field that night, Coach Williams grabbed Coach Hogan and said to him: "You'll never know what your people did for these kids tonight. You'll never, ever know."
When the world looks at a Christian, the number one thing they should see is what was shown on a high school football field last fall in Texas.
Jesus said: "Let your light shine among men is such a way that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven."
Let us do so.
Thanks to Coach Hogan for caring and sending that email.
Thanks to Coach Williams for his dedication and love for his guys.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
When You Rise Up / When You Lie Down
Normally, when we hear the phrases “When you rise up” and “When you lie down,” visions of Deuteronomy 6 go through our heads. If they’re familiar to you, you think of parenting. If they’re not familiar to you, nothing may go through your head. Taking a different perspective, let’s look at them through the lens of marriage.
What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? I mean before the shower, the breakfast, and the coffee. (Yes, something positive can actually happen before the coffee.) What’s the last thing you do before falling asleep? Here’s a very practical suggestion that can maximize two brief moments that repeat every day.
Even before getting out of bed, consider praying for each other. Men, pray for the day your wife is about to face. If you are familiar with her schedule or plans, pray specifically. If she’s teaching the children, pray for her patience and understanding. If she’s going to work outside the home, pray for her protection…for a project she’s working on…for God-centered thoughts throughout the day.
Ladies, pray for the day your husband is about to face. For meetings or appointments you know he’s going to have. Pray for safety, for Godward thoughts, for courage to share his faith.
All of this can take about 2 minutes. A simple whispered prayer, audibly spoken, not only encourages your spouse, but lays faith-filled petitions before the throne of God. Because this may be a new idea…praying before you even feel awake…let me suggest a couple of things.
- Keep it short: Long winded prayers as you wake up or lie down often initiate instant sleep for your spouse. Keep it short so they can participate.
- Be specific: You can only know if your prayers are answered if they’re specific. Pray for specific blessings and outcomes…and remember to ask how things turned out.
- Be wind conscious: If you’re truly praying first thing…before anything else…then you have not yet brushed your teeth. So, be thoughtful about the direction of your whispers. Remember, you want your prayerful words to bless your spouse.
And do the same as you lie down. After you turn out the lights, take a couple seconds to thank God for the day and for any answered prayers from that morning. If situations have developed in the home that day, pray for them…whether they are marital, parental or professional. Again…keep it short and be specific. Trusting that you’ve brushed your teeth before going to bed, be released from being wind conscious.
As you pray “When You Rise Up” and “When You Lie Down,” you may find that the very brief times of marital prayer lead to more extended times elsewhere in your day. Making prayer a part of your marriage is not hard…but it can make a real difference…for time and for eternity.
What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? I mean before the shower, the breakfast, and the coffee. (Yes, something positive can actually happen before the coffee.) What’s the last thing you do before falling asleep? Here’s a very practical suggestion that can maximize two brief moments that repeat every day.
Even before getting out of bed, consider praying for each other. Men, pray for the day your wife is about to face. If you are familiar with her schedule or plans, pray specifically. If she’s teaching the children, pray for her patience and understanding. If she’s going to work outside the home, pray for her protection…for a project she’s working on…for God-centered thoughts throughout the day.
Ladies, pray for the day your husband is about to face. For meetings or appointments you know he’s going to have. Pray for safety, for Godward thoughts, for courage to share his faith.
All of this can take about 2 minutes. A simple whispered prayer, audibly spoken, not only encourages your spouse, but lays faith-filled petitions before the throne of God. Because this may be a new idea…praying before you even feel awake…let me suggest a couple of things.
- Keep it short: Long winded prayers as you wake up or lie down often initiate instant sleep for your spouse. Keep it short so they can participate.
- Be specific: You can only know if your prayers are answered if they’re specific. Pray for specific blessings and outcomes…and remember to ask how things turned out.
- Be wind conscious: If you’re truly praying first thing…before anything else…then you have not yet brushed your teeth. So, be thoughtful about the direction of your whispers. Remember, you want your prayerful words to bless your spouse.
And do the same as you lie down. After you turn out the lights, take a couple seconds to thank God for the day and for any answered prayers from that morning. If situations have developed in the home that day, pray for them…whether they are marital, parental or professional. Again…keep it short and be specific. Trusting that you’ve brushed your teeth before going to bed, be released from being wind conscious.
As you pray “When You Rise Up” and “When You Lie Down,” you may find that the very brief times of marital prayer lead to more extended times elsewhere in your day. Making prayer a part of your marriage is not hard…but it can make a real difference…for time and for eternity.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Living in Contentment Land
“How can they afford to finish their basement or add an addition to their house?” “Why is that family always able to take elaborate vacations while ours consists of sleeping on the floor of a tent?” “My ‘poor’ kids have to buy their own underwear and pay for their own college.” If I don’t guard my heart, I can easily find myself living in discontentment land rather than being satisfied within the boundaries of the pleasant place God has for me.
Contentment is something that I’ve struggled with on and off my entire life. Even in times of prosperity, I can be tempted to compare what I have with others or think that I need something that I don’t. And, it can be especially hard to be content when money is tight when surrounded by others who seem to have unlimited resources. But by the grace of God, I can thank Him for those struggles because He has used them to reveal to me that only God can satisfy my deepest longings and that my true, lasting joy is in Him.
When I’m tempted to be discontent, I try to take control of my thoughts in the following 3 ways:
1. By Being Thankful: Discontentment cannot exist with thankfulness. As soon as my mind begins to think about what others have that I don’t or what I wish that I could purchase, I have to begin recounting God’s goodness to me. As I start mentally listing all that I have to be thankful for, it doesn’t take long until my heart is filled with thankfulness rather than discontentment. Colossians 2:6 - 7
2. By Resting in God’s Sovereignty: The second thing that I’ve learned to do is to rest in God’s perfect provision for our family. I believe that God perfectly portions our income for what he wants to accomplish in our family. There is no way that I can estimate what God is doing in the hearts of my children through the financial “hardships” that they may feel. I don’t need to feel bad for them; I can instead trust God that He’s at work. Proverbs 3:5
3. By Focusing on Eternity: Earth is not my home. Everything that I have or will have will be rubbish. I want to live my life in such a way as to lay up treasures in heaven not on earth. When I can fix my eyes on glory, the things of this earth pale in comparison. Matthew 6:19 - 21
I have a long way to go in conquering the sin of discontentment. There will always be someone who has more or better things to “make” me discontent. I will never have enough stuff, because stuff will never satisfy. I have found, however, by redirecting my gaze, my heart can overflow with joy in all circumstances.
“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” Hebrews 13:5
Contentment is something that I’ve struggled with on and off my entire life. Even in times of prosperity, I can be tempted to compare what I have with others or think that I need something that I don’t. And, it can be especially hard to be content when money is tight when surrounded by others who seem to have unlimited resources. But by the grace of God, I can thank Him for those struggles because He has used them to reveal to me that only God can satisfy my deepest longings and that my true, lasting joy is in Him.
When I’m tempted to be discontent, I try to take control of my thoughts in the following 3 ways:
1. By Being Thankful: Discontentment cannot exist with thankfulness. As soon as my mind begins to think about what others have that I don’t or what I wish that I could purchase, I have to begin recounting God’s goodness to me. As I start mentally listing all that I have to be thankful for, it doesn’t take long until my heart is filled with thankfulness rather than discontentment. Colossians 2:6 - 7
2. By Resting in God’s Sovereignty: The second thing that I’ve learned to do is to rest in God’s perfect provision for our family. I believe that God perfectly portions our income for what he wants to accomplish in our family. There is no way that I can estimate what God is doing in the hearts of my children through the financial “hardships” that they may feel. I don’t need to feel bad for them; I can instead trust God that He’s at work. Proverbs 3:5
3. By Focusing on Eternity: Earth is not my home. Everything that I have or will have will be rubbish. I want to live my life in such a way as to lay up treasures in heaven not on earth. When I can fix my eyes on glory, the things of this earth pale in comparison. Matthew 6:19 - 21
I have a long way to go in conquering the sin of discontentment. There will always be someone who has more or better things to “make” me discontent. I will never have enough stuff, because stuff will never satisfy. I have found, however, by redirecting my gaze, my heart can overflow with joy in all circumstances.
“Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’” Hebrews 13:5
Monday, January 26, 2009
A Prayer for Our Nation
Yesterday, Doug Hayes, one of our pastors and the Executive Director of Covenant Mercies, took some time in our morning worship to pray for our nation on Sanctity of Life Sunday. It captures with clarity and grace the heart of our church during a time of extraordinary events in our country. The following is the text of Doug’s prayer.
Heavenly Father, as we come to you on this Sunday when we acknowledge, in a special way, the Sanctity of Human Life, we remember that you – the Creator and sustainer of all life – have revealed yourself as a God of grace and a God of justice.
- not because we see morality gaining ground in our culture everyday,
- not because we believe in the inherent goodness of the American people
- not because we believe in our own capacity to come together and effect a historic change.
Heavenly Father, as we come to you on this Sunday when we acknowledge, in a special way, the Sanctity of Human Life, we remember that you – the Creator and sustainer of all life – have revealed yourself as a God of grace and a God of justice.
- You are merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love
- But you are also a God who refuses to take a position of neutrality when it comes to matters of justice.
- You have revealed yourself as One who stands with the oppressed and against the oppressor.
- And Lord, we rejoice at the ways in which we’ve seen your justice take hold, to a greater degree, in our society.
- This week – as we honored Martin Luther King on one day and inaugurated our first black President on the next – we were powerfully reminded of how far you have brought us as a society on issues of racial justice.
- When our President was born, not so long ago, a battle was raging in this land to determine whether he should be allowed to sit in a classroom with his white contemporaries.
- Today, he sits behind a desk called Resolute, in the Oval Office.
- Indeed, you have shed your grace upon this nation.
- We pray for President Obama, his administration, and his family. Protect his life. Give him wisdom. Bring him wise counselors, and give him the discernment to sift the wise from the foolish.
- We know that the king’s heart is in the hands of the Lord, and you direct it as a watercourse. Direct our President’s heart toward righteousness, and cause him to lead our nation in that way.
- As we pray for him, and as we thank you for what his presidency represents, our faith is emboldened to pray for justice on behalf of the unborn.
- You have changed the hearts and minds of this nation with regard to racial equity and racial justice.
- We pray today that you would open our eyes, change our hearts, and give us the courage to apply the same to the unborn.
- We must confess to you, Lord, that our laws and our practices in this area are unjust.
- But just as Martin Luther King refused to believe that the bank of justice was bankrupt for America’s citizens of color, we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt for the unborn.
- We refuse to believe this
- not because we see morality gaining ground in our culture everyday,
- not because we believe in the inherent goodness of the American people
- not because we believe in our own capacity to come together and effect a historic change.
- We refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt for the unborn because you are a God of justice.
- You have revealed yourself as Father to the fatherless and a defender of widows.
- And though this world will always be filled with injustice, you have promised to work righteousness and justice on behalf of all who are oppressed.
- Do this on behalf of the unborn, we pray!
- Even as we pray for justice to prevail, we repent before you for the sin of 50 million abortions.
- These are staggering numbers; 50 million people, created in the image and likeness of God.
- As a nation, we have defied your rule and made an idol of our own self-determination.
- As your people, too often we have remained silent. Too often we’ve looked the other way as if this wasn’t happening all around us.
- Too often when we have spoken, we’ve spoken words of self-righteous indignation rather than words seasoned with your grace.
- Would you teach us to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly as it relates to this issue?
- And Lord, how we thank you that there is forgiveness for the sin of abortion
- We thank you that any in this room who have participated in abortion are forgiven of this sin and bear it no more if they’ve placed their faith in our merciful Savior.
- Thank you that though you are a God of justice, you have poured out justice on your Son so that we can receive mercy.
- You have been merciful to a rebellious and sinful people.
- You have opened our eyes to historic injustices.
- We ask you to open our eyes to the injustices of today, and have mercy on us as a people.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Overcoming our Forgetfulness
Editor’s Note: This post is a reflection upon the message Mark Prater preached on Sunday, January 11th. The message can be found by clicking here
So many of the posts on Family Friday are written for one of two purposes. First, to encourage parents in the challenge of parenting. Second, to teach or help parents do their job more effectively.
Sometimes though, as parents, we have to protect ourselves from our successes. Many parents in our church have wonderful families. We have children that are generally obedient, majorly respectful and a joy to have in our home. We have sought to parent them to the best of our ability. We certainly have room to grow and areas in need of improvement, but we seek to apply what we’ve learned and teach them what they need to know.
In the light of such success stories, we can be prone to sit back and consider the behavior and condition of our children primarily as fruit of our parenting. Deuteronomy 6:5-9 says:
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
We read that and can be prone to thinking…even quietly… “well done.”
We would all do well to keep reading. Beginning in the very next verse, we are reminded that the blessings we receive are given from God. The fruit of our labors is from God. Then comes the strong caution in verse 12:
…take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.
Here’s the truth of it…children who rebel are common. Obedient and respectful children are the exception. Why? Because people who rebel are common. Obedient and respectful people are an exception. And children are people.
So, how do we explain the preponderance of our successes? They are wells we did not dig…cities we did not build. They are direct gifts from the Lord, who will not allow his Word to return void.
Does God use our parenting to bring about these gifts? Yes, of course. Our intentional and prayerful parenting matters and is crucial…for our children and for us. However, we should never lose sight of who provides the growth…the blessing.
The very thing that could cause our forgetfulness also serves as the cure for our forgetfulness. When you catch your children obeying, or being respectful…when you hear from others that your children did something well…take care lest you forget the Lord. It is the Lord who provides the increase…and we as parents get front row seats.
Keep parenting…teaching your children diligently. But don’t forget the Lord. He is not just an ingredient necessary for good parenting. Through your faithfulness in parenting, He is the one providing the blessings.
So many of the posts on Family Friday are written for one of two purposes. First, to encourage parents in the challenge of parenting. Second, to teach or help parents do their job more effectively.
Sometimes though, as parents, we have to protect ourselves from our successes. Many parents in our church have wonderful families. We have children that are generally obedient, majorly respectful and a joy to have in our home. We have sought to parent them to the best of our ability. We certainly have room to grow and areas in need of improvement, but we seek to apply what we’ve learned and teach them what they need to know.
In the light of such success stories, we can be prone to sit back and consider the behavior and condition of our children primarily as fruit of our parenting. Deuteronomy 6:5-9 says:
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
We read that and can be prone to thinking…even quietly… “well done.”
We would all do well to keep reading. Beginning in the very next verse, we are reminded that the blessings we receive are given from God. The fruit of our labors is from God. Then comes the strong caution in verse 12:
…take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.
Here’s the truth of it…children who rebel are common. Obedient and respectful children are the exception. Why? Because people who rebel are common. Obedient and respectful people are an exception. And children are people.
So, how do we explain the preponderance of our successes? They are wells we did not dig…cities we did not build. They are direct gifts from the Lord, who will not allow his Word to return void.
Does God use our parenting to bring about these gifts? Yes, of course. Our intentional and prayerful parenting matters and is crucial…for our children and for us. However, we should never lose sight of who provides the growth…the blessing.
The very thing that could cause our forgetfulness also serves as the cure for our forgetfulness. When you catch your children obeying, or being respectful…when you hear from others that your children did something well…take care lest you forget the Lord. It is the Lord who provides the increase…and we as parents get front row seats.
Keep parenting…teaching your children diligently. But don’t forget the Lord. He is not just an ingredient necessary for good parenting. Through your faithfulness in parenting, He is the one providing the blessings.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Many Paths to Christ
I’m sitting in a counseling observation class. What’s a counseling observation class? It is a small group of students (like me) who watch a counselor do a series of counseling sessions with an individual or couple through previously recorded video. The goal is to interact with the experience of the counseling relationship and process. There are a lot of differences between this kind of formal setting and what I do as a pastor. But I find it tremendously helpful to peer into the experience and skill of another counselor. Particularly when that counselor is Ed Welch.
In the midst of this counseling situation we are observing, Ed is seeking to determine what path to take in counseling in a very complicated situation. Among a number of issues he can choose from for focus, he selects one. That makes sense. Good counseling technique. It’s what he says about it that floors me.
We’re going to choose this as the path that will lead us to Christ.
First of all, I’m thinking – how is that going to lead anywhere near Jesus? Then I realize. ‘No, is there any struggle we can have that somehow can’t find its resolution in Christ?’. Is there any problem that falls outside of his ability to save? Is there any person so far from Christ that He can’t carve out a trail to rescue? No! Everything we face is just the starting point of a path that can lead to Christ.
What are you facing right now? Difficult circumstances? Relational struggles in your family? Health concerns? Career frustration? Discouragement in your fight against sin? Brothers, no matter how bad it is, because of Christ, nothing you face is a dead end. Perhaps the Holy Spirit is simply helping you see the path of his choosing that will lead you to Christ.
In the midst of this counseling situation we are observing, Ed is seeking to determine what path to take in counseling in a very complicated situation. Among a number of issues he can choose from for focus, he selects one. That makes sense. Good counseling technique. It’s what he says about it that floors me.
We’re going to choose this as the path that will lead us to Christ.
First of all, I’m thinking – how is that going to lead anywhere near Jesus? Then I realize. ‘No, is there any struggle we can have that somehow can’t find its resolution in Christ?’. Is there any problem that falls outside of his ability to save? Is there any person so far from Christ that He can’t carve out a trail to rescue? No! Everything we face is just the starting point of a path that can lead to Christ.
What are you facing right now? Difficult circumstances? Relational struggles in your family? Health concerns? Career frustration? Discouragement in your fight against sin? Brothers, no matter how bad it is, because of Christ, nothing you face is a dead end. Perhaps the Holy Spirit is simply helping you see the path of his choosing that will lead you to Christ.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Judgment, Mercy, and Liberty
Editor’s Note: Last week, many couples enjoyed the regional marriage conference Marriage and the Mercy of God. The serve as the impetus for this blog entry. You can find the outstanding messages for free download here.
For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment. (James 2:13)
Mercy, judgment, and liberty. These three words serve as unlikely allies in this portion of James. Let’s discuss them in the order that we often confront them and see just how God weaves these together for His glorious purposes in our marriage.
Before judgment comes, we must first receive or perceive an offense. And so, one comes. A husband fails to fix the curtains in the bedroom…a wife fails to launder the right pair of pants. Perhaps a harsh word is spoken, a mean action taken, or silence resides where there ought to be speaking. In any case, we get offended.
Our initial reaction is first with judgment. He doesn’t love me enough…she doesn’t think of me enough. His words always hurt…her actions always sting. Judgment leads to anger, which leads to bitterness, which almost certainly leads to retaliating with overt sin or passive withdrawal. Judgment has run its course, and the end of the road is not very appealing.
Reach back with me, then, to our initial reaction. What if, rather than judgment, we responded with mercy. As we do, let’s agree on what mercy is:
Mercy is the kind, sympathetic, and forgiving treatment of others that works to relieve their distress and to cancel their debt. - Paul Tripp
Okay, we’ve just been offended. A husband leaves clothes on the floor…a wife throws away papers she was asked to save. We have the “right” to be offended…the facts are on our side and the judgment, if passed, would fall to our favor. Yet, we respond with mercy. We apply the kind, sympathetic, and forgiving treatment that seeks to relieve distress and cancel debt.
We avoid making conclusions and we overlook…we move on…we don’t harbor our wounded pride. Mercy leads to forgiveness, which leads to peace, which almost certainly leads to liberty…and there we are. Though we began the path with the same step…the offense…we ended up somewhere very different. Rather than retaliation or withdrawal, we end up at liberty…a far more appealing destination.
Could this be what James was getting at? Could this be the reason that mercy triumphs over judgment? Yes it could…but something is missing.
Before we choose between mercy or judgment, we all must first begin with remembering. We must remember the mercy that was poured out on us and the judgment that was poured out on Christ. We must remember that, in God’s economy, there is no contradiction between mercy and judgment.
In fact, in order to rescue us from our sin, judgment and mercy had to be poured out. Our sin judged on the sinless Savior and His righteousness bestowed in mercy on us.
It’s no wonder James precedes v13 with v12:
So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty.
Or, as John put it in his first epistle:
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:11)
As we remember, mercy will triumph over judgment. We get to give away to our spouse what we have received from our Savior…mercy.
For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment. (James 2:13)
Mercy, judgment, and liberty. These three words serve as unlikely allies in this portion of James. Let’s discuss them in the order that we often confront them and see just how God weaves these together for His glorious purposes in our marriage.
Before judgment comes, we must first receive or perceive an offense. And so, one comes. A husband fails to fix the curtains in the bedroom…a wife fails to launder the right pair of pants. Perhaps a harsh word is spoken, a mean action taken, or silence resides where there ought to be speaking. In any case, we get offended.
Our initial reaction is first with judgment. He doesn’t love me enough…she doesn’t think of me enough. His words always hurt…her actions always sting. Judgment leads to anger, which leads to bitterness, which almost certainly leads to retaliating with overt sin or passive withdrawal. Judgment has run its course, and the end of the road is not very appealing.
Reach back with me, then, to our initial reaction. What if, rather than judgment, we responded with mercy. As we do, let’s agree on what mercy is:
Mercy is the kind, sympathetic, and forgiving treatment of others that works to relieve their distress and to cancel their debt. - Paul Tripp
Okay, we’ve just been offended. A husband leaves clothes on the floor…a wife throws away papers she was asked to save. We have the “right” to be offended…the facts are on our side and the judgment, if passed, would fall to our favor. Yet, we respond with mercy. We apply the kind, sympathetic, and forgiving treatment that seeks to relieve distress and cancel debt.
We avoid making conclusions and we overlook…we move on…we don’t harbor our wounded pride. Mercy leads to forgiveness, which leads to peace, which almost certainly leads to liberty…and there we are. Though we began the path with the same step…the offense…we ended up somewhere very different. Rather than retaliation or withdrawal, we end up at liberty…a far more appealing destination.
Could this be what James was getting at? Could this be the reason that mercy triumphs over judgment? Yes it could…but something is missing.
Before we choose between mercy or judgment, we all must first begin with remembering. We must remember the mercy that was poured out on us and the judgment that was poured out on Christ. We must remember that, in God’s economy, there is no contradiction between mercy and judgment.
In fact, in order to rescue us from our sin, judgment and mercy had to be poured out. Our sin judged on the sinless Savior and His righteousness bestowed in mercy on us.
It’s no wonder James precedes v13 with v12:
So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty.
Or, as John put it in his first epistle:
Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:11)
As we remember, mercy will triumph over judgment. We get to give away to our spouse what we have received from our Savior…mercy.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
An Enlightened Spelling Lesson for this Teacher
I was in the middle of a spelling lesson with Rosie when she came over to crawl up into my lap and snuggle. I would like to say that I pulled her up into my lap and showered her with loves, but instead I gave her a little lecture and said, “Now, if you were in school, would you be able to just climb into the teacher’s lap in between each spelling word?” She dutifully climbed down with a somber face and got ready for her next word, pencil poised.
My conscience took over quickly and by God’s grace, I recovered and said, “But we’re here and you can crawl into this teacher’s lap because I’m your mom!” Her face lit up and as she came near again, I scooped her into my arms and squeezed her tight, whispering little nothings in her ear – a little recess we both needed.
I didn’t think much more of the whole incident until the next day during my devotions. I read Galatians 4: 6, “And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba, Father!” As I scribbled in my journal some thoughts, I was overwhelmed with the Father’s love for me. It is true that with the Father –child relationship comes authority and truth (sometimes hard truths) and the call to obedience and even discipline. But oh the blessings which attend such a relationship--- the closeness, affection, and encouragement. And finally the commitment and love. He will never walk away but is steadfast towards me as He demonstrated once and for all on the Cross.
I am truly blessed. Despite the trouble which abounds in this sinful world and my own sinful heart, “my Abba, Father,” is Ruler over all of it. What could be a greater reality? It’s not just that He exists or even that He is some relative. He is my Father, personal and dear. That is truly good news and encouragement for this teacher who can never stop being a mom.
My conscience took over quickly and by God’s grace, I recovered and said, “But we’re here and you can crawl into this teacher’s lap because I’m your mom!” Her face lit up and as she came near again, I scooped her into my arms and squeezed her tight, whispering little nothings in her ear – a little recess we both needed.
I didn’t think much more of the whole incident until the next day during my devotions. I read Galatians 4: 6, “And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba, Father!” As I scribbled in my journal some thoughts, I was overwhelmed with the Father’s love for me. It is true that with the Father –child relationship comes authority and truth (sometimes hard truths) and the call to obedience and even discipline. But oh the blessings which attend such a relationship--- the closeness, affection, and encouragement. And finally the commitment and love. He will never walk away but is steadfast towards me as He demonstrated once and for all on the Cross.
I am truly blessed. Despite the trouble which abounds in this sinful world and my own sinful heart, “my Abba, Father,” is Ruler over all of it. What could be a greater reality? It’s not just that He exists or even that He is some relative. He is my Father, personal and dear. That is truly good news and encouragement for this teacher who can never stop being a mom.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Standing at a Crossroads
This week as a nation we stand at the crossroads. A new president will be inaugurated. That president, Barak Obama, will bring a democratic administration into power and usher out a Republican administration. But as we all know, there is a far more significant crossroads before us than a change in political parties. President Obama will be a man of color in the White House – representing the will of the people to govern in difficult times. These are truly remarkable times.
Mr. Obama’s path to the White House is a reflection of this crossroads. It is a coincidence of the calendar that he will take office the day after we celebrate Martin Luther King’s Birthday. Dr. King’s work in many ways led to this moment. It is a symbolic choice that the President elect chose to retrace the Illinois to Washington train route taken by Abraham Lincoln when he took office nearly a century and a half ago.
It would be a great gift to this country if Barak Obama could, in the months and years ahead, rise to the stature of these men he is linked with through coincidence and choice. Let’s pray that this is exactly what happens. And may the following reflections on the character of a leader be found in some measure embodied in our new president.
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and conveniences, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. (Martin Luther King)
It often requires more courage to dare to do right than to fear to do wrong…. Nearly all men can stand adversity. But if you want to test a man's character - give him power. (Abraham Lincoln)
Mr. Obama’s path to the White House is a reflection of this crossroads. It is a coincidence of the calendar that he will take office the day after we celebrate Martin Luther King’s Birthday. Dr. King’s work in many ways led to this moment. It is a symbolic choice that the President elect chose to retrace the Illinois to Washington train route taken by Abraham Lincoln when he took office nearly a century and a half ago.
It would be a great gift to this country if Barak Obama could, in the months and years ahead, rise to the stature of these men he is linked with through coincidence and choice. Let’s pray that this is exactly what happens. And may the following reflections on the character of a leader be found in some measure embodied in our new president.
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and conveniences, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. (Martin Luther King)
It often requires more courage to dare to do right than to fear to do wrong…. Nearly all men can stand adversity. But if you want to test a man's character - give him power. (Abraham Lincoln)
Friday, January 16, 2009
Prayer, The Weapon of Choice
Editor’s Note: In light of the message Jared Mellinger preached on 1/4/09, we’re continuing an additional week on prayer in parenting.
Do you have a child who is struggling to overcome a pattern of sin in their lives? If you are a parent you probably answered “yes.” Whether you are trying to figure out a way to keep your daughter in bed after you lay her down at night or you are constantly reminding a teenage son about his disrespectful attitude, all families experience recurring patterns of sin in the lives of their children.
As a pastor, I get to hear a lot of stories: “My child just won’t do their school work, all they want to do is play computer games.” “All they do is fight.” “He lied to me again.” The list could go on. There is however an interesting phrase many parents share with me as they describe their dilemma. “We’ve tried everything,” they say with exhaustion then go on to recite a laundry list of things they’ve tried. “We’ve given the rod, we’ve taken away their privileges, we’ve tried written confessions, going to bed early, doubling their chores, and still nothing seems to be working.”
Often prayer is last on the list, “All we can do is pray,” or not on the list at all. My wife and I have been through the same challenges with our children. One of the things I’ve learned, though, is prayer is not the weapon of last resort. Prayer is the weapon of choice. Consider changing your strategy with your children to include prayer right from the start. Here are a few things to consider:
- Pray daily for your children and ask God to help them with their current struggles.
- Pray with your children, asking God to help them overcome their particular battle with sin. (And leading them to ask God themselves.)
- Examine your own heart in prayer. Sometimes the work God is doing has more to do with our growth and sanctification than our children’s.
- Expect God to pour out his grace for change on their lives and simply be faithful to discipline your child in love and then watch. (Check out Andy’s blog from last week for more on this point.)
- Never lose sight of the gospel when sin strikes. Every discipline session is an opportunity to take your children back to the gospel.
The greatest change we have seen in our children has not come from our work through discipline, but has come through God’s work of grace in their hearts. Don’t give up discipline or creative ways to lead your children in the midst of their sin, but take up prayer like a soldier takes up his rifle; he wouldn’t go into battle without it. As he walks cautiously on the battlefield it is the first thing to part the brush. It’s not hanging on his shoulder as a last resort, but leading his way through every trial.
Do you have a child who is struggling to overcome a pattern of sin in their lives? If you are a parent you probably answered “yes.” Whether you are trying to figure out a way to keep your daughter in bed after you lay her down at night or you are constantly reminding a teenage son about his disrespectful attitude, all families experience recurring patterns of sin in the lives of their children.
As a pastor, I get to hear a lot of stories: “My child just won’t do their school work, all they want to do is play computer games.” “All they do is fight.” “He lied to me again.” The list could go on. There is however an interesting phrase many parents share with me as they describe their dilemma. “We’ve tried everything,” they say with exhaustion then go on to recite a laundry list of things they’ve tried. “We’ve given the rod, we’ve taken away their privileges, we’ve tried written confessions, going to bed early, doubling their chores, and still nothing seems to be working.”
Often prayer is last on the list, “All we can do is pray,” or not on the list at all. My wife and I have been through the same challenges with our children. One of the things I’ve learned, though, is prayer is not the weapon of last resort. Prayer is the weapon of choice. Consider changing your strategy with your children to include prayer right from the start. Here are a few things to consider:
- Pray daily for your children and ask God to help them with their current struggles.
- Pray with your children, asking God to help them overcome their particular battle with sin. (And leading them to ask God themselves.)
- Examine your own heart in prayer. Sometimes the work God is doing has more to do with our growth and sanctification than our children’s.
- Expect God to pour out his grace for change on their lives and simply be faithful to discipline your child in love and then watch. (Check out Andy’s blog from last week for more on this point.)
- Never lose sight of the gospel when sin strikes. Every discipline session is an opportunity to take your children back to the gospel.
The greatest change we have seen in our children has not come from our work through discipline, but has come through God’s work of grace in their hearts. Don’t give up discipline or creative ways to lead your children in the midst of their sin, but take up prayer like a soldier takes up his rifle; he wouldn’t go into battle without it. As he walks cautiously on the battlefield it is the first thing to part the brush. It’s not hanging on his shoulder as a last resort, but leading his way through every trial.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
A Hero From History
It’s been awhile, maybe years, since I’ve read anything by my historical hero. Recently, I went back to rediscover what originally got me jazzed. Wow; this stuff is incredible. I’ve never read anyone so overwhelmed and dazzled by the God-man Christ Jesus. I get so familiar with the Lord, and easily lose my grasp of the glory of our Savior. It’s time to climb the mount of transfiguration again, and have the roof blown off my concept of God.
Nobody does that for me like Samuel Rutherford. He’s not exactly a household name. He was Scottish, born in a farm family in the 1600’s. He studied at Old St. Andrews and became a Presbyterian pastor. Rutherford was a significant participant in the Westminster Assembly. Interestingly, one of his published works which attacked the divine right of earthly kings and proclaimed God the only true sovereign became one of the significant underlying theories of modern democracy. He died being chased down by the English monarchy (no wonder) saying that he couldn’t appear before the royal prosecutor because he had a prior summons before the Holy Judge.
Not much is left of his pastoral writing and works except his letters. But what letters! Spurgeon valued them as much as anything outside the Bible. Rutherford was a pastor, but had been exiled from his congregation due to persecution. He wrote to his congregants from there. The thing that hit me for the first time the other day was to realize, wow, we still have these letters! The people he wrote to obviously felt that he had something eternally valuable to say. The letters survived long enough for someone to come along much later and collect them, so that they could be preserved in a single volume. Here is a sample from a letter I just read:
O, come all and drink at this living well; come, drink and live forevermore; come, drink and welcome; welcome says our fairest Bridegroom; no man finds any ill will in Christ; no man comes and is not welcome; no man comes and regrets his voyage; all men speak well of Christ, who have been with Him; men and angels who know Him will say more than I now do, and think more of Him than they can say.
Before you go to Amazon and think about buying the book (there are at least two actually), I’ll warn you that he gets a little dense, due to obscure Scottish words. My wife kindly bought me a short, abridged version of some of his letters, called “The Loveliness of Christ”, edited by Sinclair Ferguson, which just came out in 2007. It’s very short and very readable. You can find it here. I’m so thankful for the heroes that went before us who inspire our faith, and lately, especially, for Samuel Rutherford.
Nobody does that for me like Samuel Rutherford. He’s not exactly a household name. He was Scottish, born in a farm family in the 1600’s. He studied at Old St. Andrews and became a Presbyterian pastor. Rutherford was a significant participant in the Westminster Assembly. Interestingly, one of his published works which attacked the divine right of earthly kings and proclaimed God the only true sovereign became one of the significant underlying theories of modern democracy. He died being chased down by the English monarchy (no wonder) saying that he couldn’t appear before the royal prosecutor because he had a prior summons before the Holy Judge.
Not much is left of his pastoral writing and works except his letters. But what letters! Spurgeon valued them as much as anything outside the Bible. Rutherford was a pastor, but had been exiled from his congregation due to persecution. He wrote to his congregants from there. The thing that hit me for the first time the other day was to realize, wow, we still have these letters! The people he wrote to obviously felt that he had something eternally valuable to say. The letters survived long enough for someone to come along much later and collect them, so that they could be preserved in a single volume. Here is a sample from a letter I just read:
O, come all and drink at this living well; come, drink and live forevermore; come, drink and welcome; welcome says our fairest Bridegroom; no man finds any ill will in Christ; no man comes and is not welcome; no man comes and regrets his voyage; all men speak well of Christ, who have been with Him; men and angels who know Him will say more than I now do, and think more of Him than they can say.
Before you go to Amazon and think about buying the book (there are at least two actually), I’ll warn you that he gets a little dense, due to obscure Scottish words. My wife kindly bought me a short, abridged version of some of his letters, called “The Loveliness of Christ”, edited by Sinclair Ferguson, which just came out in 2007. It’s very short and very readable. You can find it here. I’m so thankful for the heroes that went before us who inspire our faith, and lately, especially, for Samuel Rutherford.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Marriage and the Mercy of God
This week, couples from around the northeast will gather in Hershey, PA to attend the Sovereign Grace Marriage Conference Marriage and the Mercy of God. Many couple from our church will be in attendance. In an effort to declare our dependence on God, I’m including a series of prayer items. Whether you are going to attend the conference or not, please consider reading the items below and praying for God to move mightily.
Please pray for the conference, that:
- God would protect attendees in their travels.
- God would speak through the messages of those speaking.
- The speakers would hear clearly from God and be sensitive to how the Spirit may move.
- Those serving behind the scenes would experience the joy of the Lord in their service.
Please pray for those attending the conference, that:
- Husbands and wives would arrive humble and prepared to hear from God.
- Marriages that are doing well would listen with an intent to apply.
- Marriages doing poorly would be healed and restored.
- Each couple would experience the mercy of God in their marriage.
If you are attending the conference, please pray that:
- God’s grace would abound in your marriage.
- You would seek to apply what you hear to your life first…with humility and dependence.
- God would protect and guide the conversations you and your spouse have.
- You would be sensitive to ministry opportunities for other couples.
As we pray, may God has mercy on our marriages and on each husband and wife. And may we seek to grow in godliness that God’s glory might shine forth through our marriages…and beyond.
Please pray for the conference, that:
- God would protect attendees in their travels.
- God would speak through the messages of those speaking.
- The speakers would hear clearly from God and be sensitive to how the Spirit may move.
- Those serving behind the scenes would experience the joy of the Lord in their service.
Please pray for those attending the conference, that:
- Husbands and wives would arrive humble and prepared to hear from God.
- Marriages that are doing well would listen with an intent to apply.
- Marriages doing poorly would be healed and restored.
- Each couple would experience the mercy of God in their marriage.
If you are attending the conference, please pray that:
- God’s grace would abound in your marriage.
- You would seek to apply what you hear to your life first…with humility and dependence.
- God would protect and guide the conversations you and your spouse have.
- You would be sensitive to ministry opportunities for other couples.
As we pray, may God has mercy on our marriages and on each husband and wife. And may we seek to grow in godliness that God’s glory might shine forth through our marriages…and beyond.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Hot Chocolate Explosions
Whoever created flat, un-washable ceiling paint obviously doesn’t like our family.
While I was getting ready for church one Sunday, I heard an explosion-like sound from the kitchen. My six-year-old daughter came bounding up to my bedroom out of breath to give me the full report.
"Mom! Someone was making hot chocolate (big gasp for air) and it spilled."
(Hmmm. Since when do spills sound like an explosion?)
"They cleaned it up… but it got on the ceiling (waiting for my reaction). They're trying to wash it off."
(Wash it off? Hot chocolate? On the ceiling??)
On my kitchen ceiling are handprints, spaghetti sauce splotches, water marks, and other miscellaneous splatters, so I shouldn't have been shocked to learn of the hot chocolate stains. However, the question that I still had to face at that moment was how was I going to respond when I walked downstairs?
So often my flesh takes over and I end up responding to these kinds of (daily) circumstances in a rash, unkind way (i.e. yelling and lecturing.) But in this particular moment the Lord reminded me of a lesson that I learned several years ago as our family walked through a trial. In my journal I wrote:
"I have an opportunity to be a sweet fragrance to my children through the circumstances of my life. What a privilege to disciple my children in trusting God as I react to unpleasant circumstances in a way that glorifies and trusts Him. I can't see this role as insignificant. This Christ-like responding is my calling right now. I can't be looking for a bigger calling or a more glamorous calling… this is my calling - to respond like Christ in my home. What volumes I will be teaching my kids!"
"Through this trial, I feel like the Lord has given me a new picture of my purpose in life as a mother. It's not to "do, do, do" (things that are outwardly rewarding and seemingly spiritual), but simply to "be" a reflection of Christ as I depend on Him."
When I walked into the kitchen that Sunday morning, not only was there hot chocolate on the ceiling, my feet stuck to the floor and there were traces of hot chocolate in the drawers, the countertops and on the cupboard doors. I was thankful that the Holy Spirit reminded me about my calling to represent Christ to my children as I responded to this crisis moment and to ask Him for help.
With 7 kids in my home, I face situations like this multiple times each day. Though I feel like I fail to respond in a godly manner more times than I succeed, I'm grateful that the Holy Spirit is at work making me aware of His high calling for me as a mother.
May the Lord give us strength to respond in a way that gives Him glory and that teaches our children that we can joyfully trust Him in all circumstances – even in the midst of hot chocolate explosions.
"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:19
While I was getting ready for church one Sunday, I heard an explosion-like sound from the kitchen. My six-year-old daughter came bounding up to my bedroom out of breath to give me the full report.
"Mom! Someone was making hot chocolate (big gasp for air) and it spilled."
(Hmmm. Since when do spills sound like an explosion?)
"They cleaned it up… but it got on the ceiling (waiting for my reaction). They're trying to wash it off."
(Wash it off? Hot chocolate? On the ceiling??)
On my kitchen ceiling are handprints, spaghetti sauce splotches, water marks, and other miscellaneous splatters, so I shouldn't have been shocked to learn of the hot chocolate stains. However, the question that I still had to face at that moment was how was I going to respond when I walked downstairs?
So often my flesh takes over and I end up responding to these kinds of (daily) circumstances in a rash, unkind way (i.e. yelling and lecturing.) But in this particular moment the Lord reminded me of a lesson that I learned several years ago as our family walked through a trial. In my journal I wrote:
"I have an opportunity to be a sweet fragrance to my children through the circumstances of my life. What a privilege to disciple my children in trusting God as I react to unpleasant circumstances in a way that glorifies and trusts Him. I can't see this role as insignificant. This Christ-like responding is my calling right now. I can't be looking for a bigger calling or a more glamorous calling… this is my calling - to respond like Christ in my home. What volumes I will be teaching my kids!"
"Through this trial, I feel like the Lord has given me a new picture of my purpose in life as a mother. It's not to "do, do, do" (things that are outwardly rewarding and seemingly spiritual), but simply to "be" a reflection of Christ as I depend on Him."
When I walked into the kitchen that Sunday morning, not only was there hot chocolate on the ceiling, my feet stuck to the floor and there were traces of hot chocolate in the drawers, the countertops and on the cupboard doors. I was thankful that the Holy Spirit reminded me about my calling to represent Christ to my children as I responded to this crisis moment and to ask Him for help.
With 7 kids in my home, I face situations like this multiple times each day. Though I feel like I fail to respond in a godly manner more times than I succeed, I'm grateful that the Holy Spirit is at work making me aware of His high calling for me as a mother.
May the Lord give us strength to respond in a way that gives Him glory and that teaches our children that we can joyfully trust Him in all circumstances – even in the midst of hot chocolate explosions.
"Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:19
Monday, January 12, 2009
Word Pictures Worth Pondering
I’m working my way through Sinclair Ferguson’s "In Christ Alone" in my devotions and have really been hit by some of the things I’ve read. This past week I read a section on the power of the tongue where he used some very vivid word pictures to describe how our words matter. Here’s what caught my attention,
“Our use of the tongue is a sure evidence of the condition of our heart. It is the hinge on which the doors into our souls swing open in order to reveal our spirits. In effect, as our words leave our mouths they are like so many media people rushing to file their reports on the condition of our souls… The tongue that has tasted the Lord's goodness speaks appropriately as well as sits silently. It praises as well as rebukes, comforts as well as challenges. Such a tongue reveals a heart that is a veritable department store of graces.” (p175, 177)
Let’s consider three word pictures he uses.
Our tongue as the hinge on the doors into our souls.
The purpose of a door is controlled access. It keeps in things that should stay in, and keeps out things that should stay out. I’ve got some closet doors in my basement with loose hinges. They never quite close right, and because they are closet doors, all the junk behind them tends to spill out when I least expect it. How many times have I known I should have shut my mouth, and then said that one more thing…. Hinges are tricky things.
Our tongue as media people filing reports on our souls
It’s crazy being an Eagles fan. One play works and they’re going to the Super bowl. They can’t make a first down on third and one and they’re bums. Regardless of what happens, talk radio is there, filing reports on everything imaginable. What is the story that get’s filed about our soul? It determined by moment to moment success or failure, or does it tell a consistent story?
Our tongue as the display window of our heart
I used to work in the display department of a department store. There was an awful lot going on behind the scenes to create an attractive display window. The purpose of a display window isn’t to sell the clothes in the window. It’s to attract you to consider what’s beyond the window in the store. That’s the way our tongues should work. When we speak people should be attracted to the work of God in our hearts behind the window of our speech.
What word picture would describe your tongue?
“Our use of the tongue is a sure evidence of the condition of our heart. It is the hinge on which the doors into our souls swing open in order to reveal our spirits. In effect, as our words leave our mouths they are like so many media people rushing to file their reports on the condition of our souls… The tongue that has tasted the Lord's goodness speaks appropriately as well as sits silently. It praises as well as rebukes, comforts as well as challenges. Such a tongue reveals a heart that is a veritable department store of graces.” (p175, 177)
Let’s consider three word pictures he uses.
Our tongue as the hinge on the doors into our souls.
The purpose of a door is controlled access. It keeps in things that should stay in, and keeps out things that should stay out. I’ve got some closet doors in my basement with loose hinges. They never quite close right, and because they are closet doors, all the junk behind them tends to spill out when I least expect it. How many times have I known I should have shut my mouth, and then said that one more thing…. Hinges are tricky things.
Our tongue as media people filing reports on our souls
It’s crazy being an Eagles fan. One play works and they’re going to the Super bowl. They can’t make a first down on third and one and they’re bums. Regardless of what happens, talk radio is there, filing reports on everything imaginable. What is the story that get’s filed about our soul? It determined by moment to moment success or failure, or does it tell a consistent story?
Our tongue as the display window of our heart
I used to work in the display department of a department store. There was an awful lot going on behind the scenes to create an attractive display window. The purpose of a display window isn’t to sell the clothes in the window. It’s to attract you to consider what’s beyond the window in the store. That’s the way our tongues should work. When we speak people should be attracted to the work of God in our hearts behind the window of our speech.
What word picture would describe your tongue?
Friday, January 9, 2009
Pray Expectantly
Unanswered prayer. Is there anything more perplexing? Wouldn’t it be much better if God had given us some sort of system to know how prayer gets answered? Maybe he could have given us some bins for different types of prayers. A bin for ‘need this right now’. Maybe a bin for ‘willing to wait on this one’. And we’d probably do well to have a bin for ‘not sure I really want this one answered’. Then we could just sort our prayers like the mail. That would make sense. I’d like those kinds of prayer times.
But we don’t know. Every single prayer we pray – every single prayer – is by definition an act of faith. It takes faith to speak out to a God who doesn’t always seem to be there. It takes faith to keep on praying for things when there’s a list of other things we’ve prayed for that seems unanswered. And it can be hard to get back to the task when something we prayed for didn’t seem to come to pass.
Yet the call to prayer isn’t conditional. We are called to pray and to expect answers. Jesus makes that clear in the Gospels. And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” (Matt: 21:22 for example).
So we pray in faith. The truth is, it is this very ‘faithiness’ that is the heart of prayer. Without faith there cannot be prayer. In his classic and well worth reading book on prayer, E. M. Bounds locks prayer and faith in the same action – each motivating the other.
Faith is always praying. Prayer is always believing. Faith must have a tongue by which it can speak. Prayer is the tongue of faith. Faith must receive. Prayer is the hand of faith stretched out to receive. Prayer must rise and soar. Faith must give prayer the wings to rise and soar. Prayer must have an audience with God. Faith opens the door, and access and audience are given. Prayer asks. Faith lays its hand on the thing asked for. (The Possibilities of Prayer, 43)
How do we pray expectantly? By keeping in mind that there is one who hears, and our prayers never fall on deaf or uncaring ears. So, with the Psalmist,
O LORD, we pray, give us success! (Psalm 118:25)
But we don’t know. Every single prayer we pray – every single prayer – is by definition an act of faith. It takes faith to speak out to a God who doesn’t always seem to be there. It takes faith to keep on praying for things when there’s a list of other things we’ve prayed for that seems unanswered. And it can be hard to get back to the task when something we prayed for didn’t seem to come to pass.
Yet the call to prayer isn’t conditional. We are called to pray and to expect answers. Jesus makes that clear in the Gospels. And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” (Matt: 21:22 for example).
So we pray in faith. The truth is, it is this very ‘faithiness’ that is the heart of prayer. Without faith there cannot be prayer. In his classic and well worth reading book on prayer, E. M. Bounds locks prayer and faith in the same action – each motivating the other.
Faith is always praying. Prayer is always believing. Faith must have a tongue by which it can speak. Prayer is the tongue of faith. Faith must receive. Prayer is the hand of faith stretched out to receive. Prayer must rise and soar. Faith must give prayer the wings to rise and soar. Prayer must have an audience with God. Faith opens the door, and access and audience are given. Prayer asks. Faith lays its hand on the thing asked for. (The Possibilities of Prayer, 43)
How do we pray expectantly? By keeping in mind that there is one who hears, and our prayers never fall on deaf or uncaring ears. So, with the Psalmist,
O LORD, we pray, give us success! (Psalm 118:25)
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Pray for Revival
At exactly noon on September 23, 1857 a small group of six businessmen gathered together in the upstairs classroom of an old church in New York City. This small lunch hour prayer meeting yielded little in the way of evident power. But the faithful men decided to meet the following week to pray – again. The group grew to about 40 by October 14. On that afternoon the worst financial crisis in the history of the country to that date was unfolding. In the midst of the panic God invaded the little prayer meeting and within a few weeks over three thousand people from all walks of life were gathering. And within six months the City of New York was seeing ten thousand people gathering daily for prayer throughout the City. The Fulton Street Revival was a two year visitation of the Spirit that rejuvenated churches across the nation and across denominations.
In the history of the church revivals come rarely and unexpectedly. But when they do come they have always come from the faithful efforts of small groups of praying people. Charles Spurgeon gives us the heart of the saint in prayer for revival.
“Coming events cast their shadows before them, and when God is about to bless his people his coming favour casts the shadow of prayer over the church. When he is about to favour an individual he casts the shadow of hopeful expectation over his soul. Our prayers, let men laugh at them as they will, and say there is no power in them, are the indicators of the movement of the wheels of Providence. Believing supplications are forecasts of the future, He who prayeth in faith is like the seer of old, he sees that which is to be: his holy expectancy, like a telescope, brings distant objects near to him.”
- Charles Spurgeon, The Holy Spirit’s Intercession
Isaiah 57:15 For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: "I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite.
In the history of the church revivals come rarely and unexpectedly. But when they do come they have always come from the faithful efforts of small groups of praying people. Charles Spurgeon gives us the heart of the saint in prayer for revival.
“Coming events cast their shadows before them, and when God is about to bless his people his coming favour casts the shadow of prayer over the church. When he is about to favour an individual he casts the shadow of hopeful expectation over his soul. Our prayers, let men laugh at them as they will, and say there is no power in them, are the indicators of the movement of the wheels of Providence. Believing supplications are forecasts of the future, He who prayeth in faith is like the seer of old, he sees that which is to be: his holy expectancy, like a telescope, brings distant objects near to him.”
- Charles Spurgeon, The Holy Spirit’s Intercession
Isaiah 57:15 For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: "I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Pray the Scriptures
The promises and claims of God’s word give us confidence to pray and tracks to pray along. When we pray, ‘in Jesus name’, we are simply saying that we believe we are praying according to his will. And his will is revealed and confirmed by his Word. As John Stott reminds us, what greater power do we have with which to pray than the eternal word of God!
“We need to win the battle of the prayer threshold. To help me persevere in prayer, I sometimes imagine a very high stone wall, with the living God on the other side of this walled garden he is waiting for me to come to him. There is only one way into the garden – a tiny door. Outside that door stands the devil with a drawn sword, ready to stop me. It is at this point that we need to defeat the devil in the name of Christ. Hat is the battle of the threshold. I think there are many of us who give up praying before we have tried to fight this battle. The best way to win, in my experience, is to claim the promise of Scripture, which the devil cannot undo.”
- John Stott. Authentic Christianity p. 225-226
PSA 119:89 Your word, O LORD, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens.
“We need to win the battle of the prayer threshold. To help me persevere in prayer, I sometimes imagine a very high stone wall, with the living God on the other side of this walled garden he is waiting for me to come to him. There is only one way into the garden – a tiny door. Outside that door stands the devil with a drawn sword, ready to stop me. It is at this point that we need to defeat the devil in the name of Christ. Hat is the battle of the threshold. I think there are many of us who give up praying before we have tried to fight this battle. The best way to win, in my experience, is to claim the promise of Scripture, which the devil cannot undo.”
- John Stott. Authentic Christianity p. 225-226
PSA 119:89 Your word, O LORD, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Pray Together
When you think of prayer, what comes to your mind first – a quiet time alone with God – your own personal ‘prayer closet’? Or a prayer meeting? We often judge our prayer life based on how many minutes a day we spend in private prayer. But did you know that the overwhelming number of references to prayer in the Bible speak of gathering together with others for prayer? Theologian Timothy Chester brings us a helpful adjustment from his book "The Message of Prayer".
“It is sometimes said that good private prayer is the foundation of good corporate prayer, but it may be more biblical to say that that corporate prayer is the foundation of private prayer. Our experience of God in Christ is corporate. Western individualism has made the individual alone with God the centre of spirituality. For the people of the Bible it is the relationship between God and his people that is central. Personal prayer revolves around this common experience-not the other way around." (p.153)
As you go into your Community Group prayer time this week, don’t go thinking that you haven’t done enough private prayer to prepare you for praying in your group. Rather, see your Community Group prayer (or any prayer with God’s people) as a sound biblical starting point for renewed pursuit of personal prayer. As Jude encourages the gathered church in his letter,
But you, beloved, build yourselves up in your most holy faith; pray in the Holy Spirit; keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. (Jude 20-21)
“It is sometimes said that good private prayer is the foundation of good corporate prayer, but it may be more biblical to say that that corporate prayer is the foundation of private prayer. Our experience of God in Christ is corporate. Western individualism has made the individual alone with God the centre of spirituality. For the people of the Bible it is the relationship between God and his people that is central. Personal prayer revolves around this common experience-not the other way around." (p.153)
As you go into your Community Group prayer time this week, don’t go thinking that you haven’t done enough private prayer to prepare you for praying in your group. Rather, see your Community Group prayer (or any prayer with God’s people) as a sound biblical starting point for renewed pursuit of personal prayer. As Jude encourages the gathered church in his letter,
But you, beloved, build yourselves up in your most holy faith; pray in the Holy Spirit; keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. (Jude 20-21)
Monday, January 5, 2009
Pray in Difficulty
We begin our new near as a church with a focus on prayer. We’re going to be devoting our first community groups of the year to prayer. As Jared shared in his message on Sunday from Acts 4:23-31, ‘prayer is the voice of a church that is desperate for the power and presence of God.’
If we understand prayer rightly, we ARE desperate for prayer. It is the unique relational privilege we have with God our Father, made possible by the mediation of the Savior.
For our blogs this week we’re going to take a break from our regular features and devote the entire week inspiring you to pray based on points from Jared’s message. His first point is that we pray in difficulty. This is true no matter what our circumstances. If we are in a season of trial, we find that difficulty will drive us to cry out to God for mercy and deliverance. If we are in a season of blessing, the difficulty is to neglect prayer in favor of distraction and self-sufficiency. So no matter what, prayer will be accompanied by difficulty. That is where we see it operate.
The following words from John Piper will help you keep your desire to pray lively and your practice of prayer faithful.
“My hope is … not only that you feel encouraged to pray, but mainly that the nature of God as a fountain of free grace will be reaffirmed- that God is the kind of God who delights most deeply not in making demands but in meeting needs. Prayer is his delight because prayer shows the reaches of our poverty and the riches of his grace. Prayer is that wonderful transaction where the wealth of God’s glory is magnified and the wants of our soul are satisfied. Therefore God delights in the prayers of the upright.”
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. (Romans 12:12)
If we understand prayer rightly, we ARE desperate for prayer. It is the unique relational privilege we have with God our Father, made possible by the mediation of the Savior.
For our blogs this week we’re going to take a break from our regular features and devote the entire week inspiring you to pray based on points from Jared’s message. His first point is that we pray in difficulty. This is true no matter what our circumstances. If we are in a season of trial, we find that difficulty will drive us to cry out to God for mercy and deliverance. If we are in a season of blessing, the difficulty is to neglect prayer in favor of distraction and self-sufficiency. So no matter what, prayer will be accompanied by difficulty. That is where we see it operate.
The following words from John Piper will help you keep your desire to pray lively and your practice of prayer faithful.
“My hope is … not only that you feel encouraged to pray, but mainly that the nature of God as a fountain of free grace will be reaffirmed- that God is the kind of God who delights most deeply not in making demands but in meeting needs. Prayer is his delight because prayer shows the reaches of our poverty and the riches of his grace. Prayer is that wonderful transaction where the wealth of God’s glory is magnified and the wants of our soul are satisfied. Therefore God delights in the prayers of the upright.”
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. (Romans 12:12)
Friday, January 2, 2009
Enemy Number One in 2009
I don’t know about you, but my pillow talks to me every night. It doesn’t yell, but it is a crystal clear whisperer. I know…telling you that my pillow talks to me might make you want to stop reading right now, but press on…you may discover that your pillow talks, too.
When I lay down at night, the house is quiet, but my mind is racing. And with a racing mind, my pillow whispers thoughts of how my day went. Sometimes, it shares its thoughts on the joys I experienced. More often, though, it shares with me regrets over my choice of words with my daughter…my tone with my son… missed opportunities.
And there’s often a theme. Like a recurring nightmare, sin themes occupy my one-way conversations with my pillow. Choices that repeat themselves…they mark my parenting. Can you relate to sin themes? Is yours in the front of your mind right now as you read? Good…because we’re declaring it Enemy Number One this year! And it is time for that pesky adversary to die once and for all!
Maybe its anger or passivity. Maybe you’re too demanding of your children, or too slothful. Maybe you don’t consider your children’s opinions or feelings…maybe you consider them so much you desire for them to like you more than you desire to lead them. Maybe it’s one of another hundred other options. Whatever it is, consider taking these steps in 2009.
- Call it out to the school yard for a fight. In other words, let the world know that you’re fighting it…invite friends to circle around you as you fight it. Let them know what the issue is, when it usually peeks its ugly head, and specifically how you sin when it does. Don’t keep it a secret or whisper nasty things about it. Open your lungs and declare war on it.
- Tell your children about the war. Even if they’re little, your children are probably familiar with this area of sin in your life. They know when it is being poured out on them…they can serve as early detectors of it. Help them do it, too. Confronting a parent on their sin can be a scary thing. So, provide them with “safe” words to highlight your sin. Mutually agreed upon words outside of conflict can be a great tool in the midst of conflict.
- Run a recon mission regularly. Check with those around you to see how the war is going. And fight the stealthy enemy of self-defense. Don’t excuse or explain away their observations…embrace them and make tactical adjustments according to the input you receive.
- Show no mercy! Your Enemy Number One will have no mercy on you…it seeks to destroy you. So, have no mercy on it. When it is down and groggy from the last strike, deal it a death blow. When it pleads for mercy, grant it none.
Like a good soldier fighting a good fight, when you go to sleep at night your pillow will whisper a job well done to you. And when you’re done and victorious listen again to your pillow. It may be letting you know what Enemy Number One for 2010 is going to be.
When I lay down at night, the house is quiet, but my mind is racing. And with a racing mind, my pillow whispers thoughts of how my day went. Sometimes, it shares its thoughts on the joys I experienced. More often, though, it shares with me regrets over my choice of words with my daughter…my tone with my son… missed opportunities.
And there’s often a theme. Like a recurring nightmare, sin themes occupy my one-way conversations with my pillow. Choices that repeat themselves…they mark my parenting. Can you relate to sin themes? Is yours in the front of your mind right now as you read? Good…because we’re declaring it Enemy Number One this year! And it is time for that pesky adversary to die once and for all!
Maybe its anger or passivity. Maybe you’re too demanding of your children, or too slothful. Maybe you don’t consider your children’s opinions or feelings…maybe you consider them so much you desire for them to like you more than you desire to lead them. Maybe it’s one of another hundred other options. Whatever it is, consider taking these steps in 2009.
- Call it out to the school yard for a fight. In other words, let the world know that you’re fighting it…invite friends to circle around you as you fight it. Let them know what the issue is, when it usually peeks its ugly head, and specifically how you sin when it does. Don’t keep it a secret or whisper nasty things about it. Open your lungs and declare war on it.
- Tell your children about the war. Even if they’re little, your children are probably familiar with this area of sin in your life. They know when it is being poured out on them…they can serve as early detectors of it. Help them do it, too. Confronting a parent on their sin can be a scary thing. So, provide them with “safe” words to highlight your sin. Mutually agreed upon words outside of conflict can be a great tool in the midst of conflict.
- Run a recon mission regularly. Check with those around you to see how the war is going. And fight the stealthy enemy of self-defense. Don’t excuse or explain away their observations…embrace them and make tactical adjustments according to the input you receive.
- Show no mercy! Your Enemy Number One will have no mercy on you…it seeks to destroy you. So, have no mercy on it. When it is down and groggy from the last strike, deal it a death blow. When it pleads for mercy, grant it none.
Like a good soldier fighting a good fight, when you go to sleep at night your pillow will whisper a job well done to you. And when you’re done and victorious listen again to your pillow. It may be letting you know what Enemy Number One for 2010 is going to be.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Jump Starting the New Year
Hi Gents. If you’re catching this blog, chances are you’re like me. We woke up this morning and everything seemed pretty much the same – except a big calendar page flip occurred just a few hours ago. We’re probably packing a few extra pounds from holiday indulgences. We’re just about to hit the ground running as we head back to work and all those things that were part of ‘next year’ that now have become part of ‘right now’. So let me give you five simple tips for a successful start to the New Year. None are profound, and all are easy to do.
- Find some way to get a good quiet time in today.
- Only make one resolution, and make it something you can actually complete in January
- If you still use paper checks, write ‘2009’ in the year column of the first 10 checks, until you get used to the New Year.
- Try to do one completely others-centered thing today – something that the other person will recognize as your expression of kindness, affection, gratefulness, or respect.
- Psych yourself up by watching the two minute video that Stephen Altrogge came across in his blog, The Blazing Center. Like Stephen, we don’t endorse all the movies referenced here, but this is really well done and you’ll certainly get the point.
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