The Vow

On March 9 a feature story entitled “The Vow” ran in the Washington Post.

“The Vow” is the story of couple who have endured eight years of intense trial due to a mysterious debilitating illness the wife contracted – an illness which has left her totally dependent on his care. It is a remarkable article, as it is clear that this is a Christian couple and this paper is, well, the Washington Post. The focus of the article is on whether a marriage that is primarily a trial can be sustained by the power of a marriage vow alone. Here is the perspective of the husband on how he is sustained in his marriage,

In thinking about love, Dave thought a lot about marriage. For years, he had studied Ephesians, in which Paul somewhat problematically describes marriage, saying, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” His sisters found this directive sexist, but Dave argued that it does not, in fact, give the man the upper hand.

"I think people misinterpret it," he says. "It talks about the woman being submissive to the man, but it also talks about the husband loving his wife as much as Christ loves the church. The man should give his life for his wife. It talks about how you should leave your mom and dad and cleave to your spouse.” It is this idea, of marriage as a mutual cleaving, that sustains him.

"If I didn't have that as a core value, I don't know what would keep me fighting the battle. Without something that gives me some higher reason, I would probably lose a lot of the strength that I have."

If you have not read this piece, it is worth the time. It will humble you and remind you that God gives the grace to do whatever needs to be done to honor and preserve marriage. Also worth checking out is the editor’s side piece where he asks the questions we all need to ask in reading “The Vow”

When I encountered (the story) about Dave Kendall, whose wife, Diana, discovered she had an almost totally debilitating disease eight years ago, I reacted the same way most of you will: a stunned moment of awe at Dave's devotion and sacrifice, followed by some very uncomfortable questions. If I were in Dave's position, would I be able to react so selflessly, so honorably? Could I give up almost every single perk of marriage in return for an ever-increasing list of responsibilities? And the trickiest part: If I even attempted it, could I do so without falling into a swamp of bitterness and self-pity?

It doesn't take long to figure out that those are questions -- like "How would I react in combat?” -- that are unanswerable in the abstract. The answers must emerge, if, God forbid, you ever find yourself in that situation, in the day-after-day-after-day reality in which you learn things about yourself that only those under fire can know. (From the Washington Post)

The apostle Paul reminds us that grace is sufficient for our need. “The Vow” is a display of that grace in the crucible of sustained trial in marriage.