(Blogger’s apology: The following post may contain comments that could be construed as male/female stereotyping. If you don’t believe the post below represents your experience, keep reading this blog. We’ll get to you eventually)
One of the problems that comes with winter is that it’s dark outside in the morning. That means it’s also dark inside in the morning. Which isn’t that big a deal, unless you’re trying to get dressed with the lights off because you’re leaving early in the morning and you’d like to let your wife sleep in after a very full week. And unless the clothes you wear require approval by a committee of fashion-conscious women in your house who don’t want you to look as old as you really are. And unless the designated colors in your closet all seem to be olive greens and earthy browns. And unless you happen to be colorblind in such a way that makes those particular shades look exactly alike.
So, I woke up the other day and put on what I thought were green pants and a gray shirt. That seems to work – I see football teams wear that combination all the time. Apparently it doesn’t work off the gridiron. Jill was just getting up as I was leaving and caught a glimpse of my ensemble in a ray of light coming through the window.
“That doesn’t go.”
“Yes it does. It’s going to work right now.”
“No, that gray doesn’t go with that green.”
“I thought grays go with greens.”
“No, that gray has brown in it, and that green has blue in it.”
“And blue and brown go together, right? So my gray and my green work and my blue and my brown work.”
“But not all together.”
On the way to work (after changing), I reflected on what has been a regular source of heat in our lives – my wife’s role in my appearance. Here are some things God showed me from that pondering:
· My wife is concerned about my appearance to others because she wants people to respect me like she respects me. She wants people to see me at my best.
· My wife cares about her role as my helper. When I dress in ways that demonstrate a lack of concern for my appearance, it tells others that she is not playing a role that God has fit her for in making her my helpmate.
· For my wife to shop for clothes for me is an expression of her love. Every moment she shops for me says, “I love you and am making you the focus of my attention.” She knows how busy I am and how much I hate to shop for clothes. Guys, if your wife shops for your clothes, it is the suburban equivalent of taking a bullet for you. Be grateful your life has been spared.
Ladies, if you shop for your husbands, here are a some things from guy world that might help you:
· Most guys don’t think in terms of shades or combinations, they think in terms of worlds - the world of black, white and gray, and the world of everything that isn't black, white or gray. And the world of blue. Everything works in the world of blue.
· When it comes to clothes, most guys don’t think in terms of fashion, they think in terms of function. The question isn’t, ‘will this look good?’, they ask, ‘will this be comfortable if I’m having to bend down a lot today?’.
· The more you think like a man when you shop for a man, the fewer things you’ll take back, and the less surprises you’ll have when he comes home after a whole day and you discover what he wrapped himself in for all to see.
Take some time on a date and talk about what clothing means to you and how you can understand each other better in this day to day reality of marriage. Love and care is worked out in the small details of life together.