Uprooting those Weeds!

A little fable of this past summer.

I took a good look at my front yard, and the weeds were doing a splendid job at what they do. I knew I needed to get in there soon and clear them out. It’s a hot, tiring, and back-breaking job - not one of my favorite things to do! But God had an additional weeding assignment for me that day as well. Let me explain. I had a coffee date with my oldest daughter, Sarah. As we sat down, we both knew we might touch on a recurring topic upon which we disagreed. And so we did very shortly. We talked amiably, but the tension mounted. There seemed to be no bridge in sight. I felt as though I had some wisdom that she needed, so I continued to press my point and give multiple examples that I thought would persuade her. When that didn’t work, I pulled out the “I am still your mother” card and wielded my authority. That kind of shut things down as one would expect, so we left Starbucks quiet and at odds.

I discussed the matter with my husband when I got home and let down my guard a little more. Consequently, my anger became more noticeable, and I even turned it towards him at certain moments. I went to bed troubled, and the next morning during my devotions I was still angry. As I sat there, Bible in hand, a muscle spasm went down my neck and back like a tightened rubber band. Now I was in pain and angry! I cried out to the Lord for help and his forgiving and enabling grace.

Later that day, I was reading the book, "Uprooting Anger", by Robert D. Jones, and I came to the well-known passage in James 4:1 “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” My passions, or as Jones calls them “ruling desires,” were at the root of my anger. In this case, I wanted – or rather demanded – Sarah’s agreement and eager compliance. It wasn’t so much that my desire itself was wrong. I truly still believe that I was offering her biblical wisdom. It’s just that this desire for her to embrace that wisdom and change accordingly had become something I could not live without. Jones calls it “God-playing,” which is declaring that “my kingdom has come and my will be done.” In my heart, I was desiring to rule Sarah and the situation, and now ironically this desire was ruling me.

As I read further, I came to the rest of that passage in James, verse 6 “But He gives us more grace” –one of the most wonderful passages in the Bible. So, I prayed for more grace to enable me to submit my desires to the Lord and lay them down before His throne. I claimed one of the prayers in Jones’ book and made it my own, “Lord, I don’t have to have these things. I realize that in Christ I don’t need them, although I often live as though I do. Father, forgive me. Thank you for the blood of Jesus your Son that paid for all my sins...” As Jones suggested, I also took time to meditate and ask myself, “How does God want me to deal with this situation the next time it occurs?” I want to uproot this ruling desire that fuels my anger. Interestingly enough, I did weed my garden that day—uprooting weed after weed. I hope that’s a sign that I’m on the right track.

What are your ruling desires? Does your garden need a little weeding as well? Read James 4, and I heartily recommend Jones’ book. May you find God’s grace abundant as you explore your heart and your garden.