And Now, the Weekly Sock Report…

Cyndi Smith sent me this story following a community group meeting where we were sharing on the ‘little things’ that tie us up in marriage. I thought it was both funny and applicable to many of us so I asked the Smiths if I could blog it. Here it is in Cyndi’s words.

Over the years there has been an ongoing tension in our marriage relating to Tom's ‘amazing disappearing socks’. It really seems to bother him when socks come back from the laundry unmatched and he regularly comments on how many socks he is missing. I am not fond of these conversations as I (ungraciously) see them as a criticism of the way I care for him. One evening as he was getting ready for bed, he began another inquiry into his missing socks. I felt myself getting annoyed and wanted to head him off before I provoked an argument, so I said, "you know, I'm getting really tired of the weekly sock report and wish you would stop doing it." I realized the moment the words came out. “This is going to be a conflict”’. But the tension was quickly cut by Tom's laughter. "The weekly sock report...that's really good!" We both had a good laugh together and no conflict ensued. I believe it was because Tom was merciful toward me, and this allowed grace in the form of humor to rule the moment. Since then we have had no more weekly sock reports, and no more arguments about socks.

This reminds me of an old Jerry Seinfeld routine where he talks about how socks have one purpose in life, and that is to escape. That’s why they always hide in the edges of the dryer, or cling to other clothes as they’re coming out – it’s a prison break. Sadly, its also the reason you see abandoned socks on the street and in the gutter. They’re the ones who didn’t quite make it.

Anyway, what I loved about the Smith Sock Report is how mercy can come in the form of a gracious response. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us that A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Tom’s ‘soft answer’ was not a mumble, or an unmanly ‘whatever you say dear’. It was wise – it saw the danger in a situation and drove around it on the road of humor. Note that Tom’s humor wasn’t sarcasm, or an attempt to correct through a joke. Laughter isn’t always the best medicine, but harsh words never cure anything.

Tom’s response is a great lesson in gracious speech. Rather than he and Cyndi being on opposite sides of a debate, they found themselves on the same side of a humorous memory. Not a bad trade-off.