Of Mice and Men

Last week we finished up a series in Practical Matters on Reading Christian books. Just to show you how diverse Practical Matters can be, I’d like to take us in an entirely different practical direction – dealing with Varmints.

I’ve never read John Steinbeck’s tragic novella, “Of Mice and Men”, however I have been living my own novella as some furry little mice have taken up residence in this man’s house!

Yep, the Vander Weide’s have ‘critter issues.’

Apparently the varmints that lived where the new Home Depot and Target are now situated have migrated south to my neighborhood.

Jill woke up very early the other day, flipped on the light, and discovered two beady eyes staring up in astonishment. You could say it was a ‘Ratatouille moment,’ but this field mouse did not have fine cuisine on his mind!

My job as the husband/dad is to protect my family from the fleas, ticks and hantavirus these rascals can carry. (My former training as a medical news producer can be a blessing and a curse! - If you’re looking for mouse-trapping motivation, click here)

A trip to the new Home Depot (note the irony) and I quickly had mousetraps in hand. I’ve tried different brands and methods over the years, but I’ve settled on Victor traps with the yellow-plastic simulated-cheese bait pad. I add a smear of peanut butter (Jif – creamy) and strategically place the traps with the bait side against the wall.

The next morning, our mouse problem was resolved. Quick, clean and inexpensive – Victor traps are two for a dollar. Why not catch and release? I haven’t found live traps to be very effective. The mice in my neighborhood are criminal geniuses that can smell a live trap a mile away. I also don’t like the thought of accidentally leaving a live animal in a trap for what could be days. Poisons work, but you can never be certain. If you have curious pets you’ll want to restrict their access to traps. A spot behind a heavy piece of furniture is ideal.

Now that my in-home interloper has been evicted, I’ve moved on to my garage which seems to be the welcome center for these furry opponents. Last season I trapped a record THIRTY-ONE (that’s not a typo!). This year I’m at 8 and counting. I learned that the majority are not mice, but voles! I know this because I asked Marty during a recent Family Life Department meeting. We broke for lunch and I offered the question – what’s the difference between a mole and a vole? (Typical lunch conversation!) Andy replied, “Voles are from Tennessee.” That’s a Vol, Andy… as in Volunteer. Marty said, “Voles look like mice, but have smaller eyes and shorter, hairy tails. Voles are herbivores, moles are carnivorous. (If this strikes you as unusual that someone would know so much about this topic, then you don’t know Marty) And moles have pig-looking snouts.” After some snout inspections it was determined I have a voles in my flower beds. They’ve killed all my hostas by eating the bulbs. They also enjoy my garage during the wet weather.

Thankfully, it seems they like creamy Jif.