Shopping, an Adventure in Marriage

Editor’s note: Andrea submitted this blog last Christmas but we didn’t get the chance to use it. But she told me that this is becoming their new tradition.

As I stuffed the gifts under my bed, I couldn’t believe David and I had just spent the whole day shopping together—a first in our 25 years of marriage! I have always done the majority of the Christmas shopping for our family, but this year, I was not able to get out there and do the early bird thing. So I asked David if he would be willing to take one of his vacation days and go with me. The look on his face said it all; but then he quickly recovered and agreed to go. We started the day at eight am and headed for Lowe’s. Within 3 minutes (give or take), David found some cool gadgets for the men in our extended family and then headed for the register.

Now David is disposed toward decisiveness and efficiency, a quality I’ve always liked in him – except for times such as this. I tend to mull over things, compare, evaluate, and analyze. Some say I go overboard trying to get just the right thing at the right price, which can make shopping with me a “prisoner of war” type experience. I can’t imagine how they come to that conclusion.

As we sat in the car looking over our shopping list, I started to get this uncomfortable feeling that David might not be the asset I thought he’d be. Without much thought, I offered him an “observation,” mumbling something about missing evangelism opportunities if we did things his way. Mercifully, he did not expose my attempt to manipulate and listened with a gentle smile. I was experiencing our differences acutely at that moment, and I had a choice on how to respond. Could I joyfully follow my husband’s leadership and wisdom, or would I battle for supremacy? By God’s grace, I did not press the issue and we went onto the next store. We were there a little longer, say about 10 minutes And so went the day. As we traveled to each place, we talked over ideas, laughed, and bantered with each other—all still at a nice pace. By the afternoon, we were sitting in a restaurant counting our receipts, and I couldn’t believe we were almost done. It was amazing to me – for I would have traditionally spread this event out over weeks and over budget.

As I recounted the day (which by the way, I thoroughly enjoyed), I marveled at the grace of God to use our differences as the source of joy between us that day rather than as a joy extinguisher. We, as well as close friends of ours, would be the first to tell you that there are many times when both of us have made different choices in our words and actions toward one another, and still do, but God has been so merciful to us a couple. His amazing grace first saves us and then “teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” (Titus 2:12) And in the context of relationships, in this case our marriage which God has so graciously given us to enjoy, that results in forbearance, harmony, and love, which in turn reflects His character and brings the glory to Him!

And a wonderful day of shopping!