I Heart Theology?

In our blog last Thursday we talked about some ways to choose good Christian books. Okay, let’s pick a book.

What To Read?: There are several general types (genre’s) of Christian books. Let’s assume we’re not interested right now in fiction or biographies. Among non-fiction books let’s consider several options. Devotional books are written to help people in a very personal way with their relationship with God. They tend to be written in a very inspirational way – sometimes they are selections from a well published author or preacher. They are often bite-sized reflections which are not really connected to each other – ideal for daily reading. Practical Theology is a very broad category that seeks to take Biblical truth and apply it to issues of life. Marriage and parenting books, books on worry, on financial management, etc. are all practical theology. The challenge with practical theology is that some books can deal with the practical very well, but lack in the theology department. Or they may be theologically sound but miss the mark in where we really live. We should have a regular diet of good practical theology to help us walk in a manner worthy of our calling as believers.

A third type of book, and the one that intimidates us, is sometimes called Theology Proper. Theology is ‘the study of God’. Theology books wrestle with ideas, particularly about God and our relationship to Him. Many theology books are ‘systematic theology’, a theologian grappling with what the Bible says about something in particular, or a range of things. Theology wrestles with doctrine – what should be believed. For example, the difference between a practical theology of suffering and a doctrinal theology of suffering might be something like this: The practical theology would seek to help you or me wrestle with our own suffering and seek to give us help in responding to it in God-honoring ways. A doctrinal work on suffering would wrestle with the BIG questions – why is there suffering, what does the Bible say about suffering, what is God’s purpose for suffering. It may have little practical advice for folks who suffer. Besides systematic theologies, there are biblical theologies (tracing the development of an idea through the Bible); historical theologies (dealing with how a theological idea has been treated through history), and commentaries (verse by verse studies on specific books of the Bible). Each type of theology has its own merit and use.

Just remember our point from last week – not every Christian book (and this includes theologies) is a good book. Theology is evaluated based on its ‘soundness’ – how well it conforms to the teaching of the Bible as understood in proper context.

Next Thursday we’ll jump into how to actually read a book of theology. Yipee.

Be Careful What You Wish For…

Sometimes in marriage we have honest misunderstandings. What one spouse thinks they say and what another spouse thinks they hear can be very different. I like this little story because it captures how marriage is nothing if it is not a consistent reminder that God really did make men and women very different.

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.

"I'd love to be six again," she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park.

What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, and the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, the latest razzle-dazzle animated epic, a hot dog, popcorn, Pepsi, and M&Ms.

What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"

One eye opened. "Honey, I meant my dress size."

Therefore, Encourage One Another

While driving to church one Sunday morning this past summer, I asked my husband Bill why he had been unusually quiet lately. He began to share a couple areas in his life where he had been discouraged. I remember having the thought that I knew the cause of his discouragement… and it certainly had nothing to do with me. During worship that morning the Lord met me and a thought entered my mind. “When was the last time you encouraged your husband?” I couldn’t really remember. The Holy Spirit was graciously convicting me of my lack of love and care for Bill in the area of encouragement. I was able to confess what God was showing me in the car on the way home from church. We were met by God’s love and forgiveness and experienced restoring grace in this weakness in our marriage. After this incident I realized that, even after being together for 17 years, I wasn’t sure I knew how to encourage my husband. I felt like God wanted me to really know my husband on a deeper level so that I could be a greater helper for him. I wanted to better know what things I did or said that built him up and what I might be doing that could tempt him toward discouragement. I also realized that, more than anyone else, I need to be the one to speak grace into his life, always willing to point out where God is at work in him.

I began a personal mission to find out how to encourage Bill, so I gave him a question to answer. “In what ways, by word or by deed, can I encourage you in this season of our lives?” His answers (two pages long!) both surprised envisioned me. It was then that really I realized the important role I play as an encourager and a means of grace to my husband. I keep Bill’s response to that question in my journal to help me remember this call for me as his wife. One of my favorite quotes from Dave’s book, When Sinners Say “I Do” is this, “When a spouse communicates grace, we move beyond mistakes and the journey becomes enjoyable.” I want to enjoy helping Bill in our journey together. I want him to know that I am more aware of God’s grace in his life than what he needs to work on. That’s the way it’s supposed to be when sinners say ‘I do’.

WouldaShouldaCoulda

Do you ever find yourself in the WSC? The ‘WouldaShouldaCoulda’ trap. You know, thinking about what might have been if you had just done or said something different. Or wondering what life would have been like if THIS would have happened to you, or THAT wouldn’t have happened. A year or so ago we did an outreach drama called The View From Regret. Are you familiar with that view? Sometimes the WSC trap is about things from months or even years ago (It seems like everybody has some WSC memories from high school). But we can fall into the WSC trap over something that happened recently as well, even as recently as a few minutes a go.

If you are well acquainted with the WouldaShouldaCoulda trap, let the following words from A. W. Tozer inspire you this week to get out of the trap by pressing into your relationship with God.

“As we move deeper into personal acquaintance with Triune God I think our life emphasis will shift from the past and the present to the future. Slowly we will become children of a living hope and sons of a sure tomorrow. Our hearts will be tender with memories of yesterday and our lives sweet with gratitude to God for the sure way we have come; but our eyes will be focused more and more upon the blessed hope of tomorrow.” (A. W. Tozer, Praise in Three Dimensions, Fifty-Two Selected Chapters, p. 156)

Pass the Peas…and the Encouragement

Dinnertime provides a great opportunity for the family to engage in meaningful conversation but it doesn’t seem to happen automatically in my home. In fact, if left to itself, our dinner time conversation usually starts with a complaint about one of the food items or the size of the portion and moves on to debates among the kids as they give each other instruction on the correct way to chew and other food etiquette.

A while back I entered into the fray with a new idea. Why don’t we encourage one another? One by one each of our children received a turn to encourage someone else at the table. My wife Lois and I would join in as well, usually going last to encourage anyone who might have been left out. I found our children, if given something to talk about, could have some very encouraging meaningful conversation. Since those first encouragement exercises we have explored other ways to lead the family in meaningful conversation and fellowship during our main meal. Here are a few of ideas to try with your family at dinnertime.

1. Save individual encouragements for members of your family to share with everyone during your dinner meal. Just before I wrote this blog entry I received an email encouragement from a friend about my son. It ended up being part of our encouragement time at dinner that night. This helped also in showing the kids how God loves to provide opportunities for us to build up one another.

2. Share testimonies and articles with your family that affected you. It might be a page from a book you are reading or a story from the days paper. If it affected you, read it to your family and talk about how it touched your life.

3. Read a novel to your children a little bit at a time. As soon as your children get hooked into the story, they will long for you to read to them at dinner. It gives them something to look forward to at dinner time. We’ve read through the Chronicles of Narnia, some of the Little House books, and stories from Brian Jacques’ Redwall series as well as Pilgrims Progress. Sometimes we read a few pages while other times we’ve read a whole chapter.

4. Do your family devotions after dinner. If you are using our Get Into the Story devotional but can’t seem to get everyone on the same schedule in the morning, put the book by your spot at the table and read the days devotion just after you finish eating.

5. Ask good questions. They don’t always need to be spiritual. A month or so ago I asked everyone which of the vacations we took in the past ten years would they like to do over again? It lead to some great interaction and gave me some ideas of what the family might like to do for a future vacation.

Of course, all of these ideas assume you are regularly eating together as a family. This isn’t always possible but the benefits of sharing the dinner meal together are worth trying to protect that time. If you get home a little later, try to eat a little later as a family whenever possible.

Learning to Read

If you haven’t guessed it by now, we’re a reading church. Our Book Shoppe isn’t in the business of making money, and our book table in the old Gauntlett Center was a losing proposition as well. Are we bad at business? No, we so want to get resources into your hands and minds and hearts that we are happy to simply cover our costs of having them around.

Why this emphasis on reading? Reading quality Christian books will never replace the reading of God’s word or the preaching of your pastor, but it will help you hear and understand with greater maturity. A good book will challenge your thinking and motivate your heart. It will dislodge error and give you an appetite for truth. Good books humble us by reminding us that, to paraphrase an old Irish proverb, ‘good ideas often aren’t new, and new ideas often aren’t good’.

Here at the Family Life Blog we want to stir families to read – starting with you, dads. So here is the first of some occasional posts on ‘learning to read’.

· You can assume that Christian books are written by well intentioned authors. But not every book that seems to be Christian is a good Christian book. One way to do a spot evaluation of a book is to see who endorses it. While endorsements are a part of marketing, they reveal who the author looks to for inspiration, and that can tell you a lot about what he or she wants you to get from the book.

· The test of time is very important for evaluating the quality of a Christian book. While not all old books are great books, new books tend to reflect fads in culture and can be so trendy as to have little value over the long haul.

· Sales of books don’t always reflect their ultimate value; they tend to reflect the amount of marketing behind the book or author.

· Who the author is, and what his/her life reflects matters in a Christian book – even fiction. Learn about the authors before you read their books – does their work come from a good life model?

· I tend to recommend reading deceased authors as a priority. Not that there are no good living writers, or that dying instantly makes bad writers into good ones. Its just that how someone finishes the race tells me a lot about the value of what they had to say while they were running it.

· C. S. Lewis sums up my goals in reading – to learn wisdom from those who are wise:

The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are. (C.S. Lewis, The Quotable Lewis p.233)

Ten “Makeable” Romantic Ideas

This blog is for husbands, so wives, if you’re reading this, let me offer some advice. If your husband doesn’t read this blog why not gently suggest that he take a look at this post. Perhaps he won’t immediately fall on his knees and say – ‘this is the answer I’m looking for!”. But he might just find something he likes, an idea he may just tuck away for a future time. Another thing you could do is print the list out and have a chat about which of the ideas you’d like and which wouldn’t be your cup of tea. It can be a great fellowship exercise – and he’ll know you much better afterward.

Guys, this is a really good list of things to consider. I’m calling it ‘makeable’ like I’d call a putt ‘makeable’ in golf. Some of us can make tough ones, for others, like me, the difference between ‘gimme’ and ‘makeable’ is only a few inches. I’ve done a number of these in some version – some are more makeable than others. Just remember, what blesses most wives is not the expense you go to, or even success, but the fact that you are spending your time away from her thinking about her, planning for her, and desiring to bless her. But look for something you can pull off. A make is always more encouraging than a near miss – in golf and romance.

1. Get her a gift certificate to her favorite store and hide it under her pillow, or somewhere she will discover it.

2. Write a letter to your wife describing her strengths and your need for her.

3. Praise her in front of the children about the things she does, the way she cooks, etc.

4. Use all the pennies in your piggy bank for a date. Don't spend any other money. See how creative you can be!

5. Buy a basket and fill it with sweet things for your sweetheart (for example: love notes, chocolates, jams, lollipops, heart-shaped candles, perfume, etc.)

6. Go back to a place you went when you were newlyweds and stay overnight. Be sure to bring pictures from that time and take a romantic trip down memory lane together.

7. Dress up like a fancy restaurant waiter, and serve your wife dinner at a candlelit table for two (the food could be carry-out from her favorite restaurant), then go change and be her date.

8. Court her again by recreating something fun you did when you first dated one another.

9. Give your wife a homemade coupon booklet consisting of romantic and practical "freebies" (i.e., “Redeem this coupon for a free foot massage” or, "This coupon good for one free evening out with your friends while I watch the kids."). Include a blank one for her to fill in whatever she wants.

10. Put together a memory album with love letters from a specific year or several years. Categorize them and use clip art.

Listen

It’s Tuesday again, and good to be together, even if only for a moment of common contemplation. Too bad there’s no cyber-coffee.

Well, John Piper’s been at it again. He’s got a lot of nerve, yanking me out of my world of superfluous trivialities! He’s made quite a habit of it over the years. And I must say I’m grateful, even though I put up a good fight. Can I pull you in with me for a moment?

Shhhh. Just listen.

We were made to know and treasure the glory of God above all things; and when we trade that treasure for images, everything is disordered…

Yes, John, it is. I bear witness. The images of perfection, of getting things done, of having perfect kids, of beauty, of self-focus, all leave me empty, dissatisfied, hungry for something more.

The sun of God’s glory was made to shine at the center of the solar system of our soul. And when it does, all the planets of our life are held in their proper orbit. But when the sun is displaced, everything flies apart.

Are the planets of my life revolving around God’s glory? I think much of the time I’m trying to lasso all those planets so they can revolve around me! And the result is most often frustration. Is that your grace, Lord, redirecting me?

The healing of the soul begins by restoring the glory of God to its flaming, all-attracting place at the center. We are all starved for the glory of God, not self.

Aaah! The cold but invigorating truth! Why do I feel disordered, dissatisfied, always hungry for something to fill me up? Why do even good things like conversation and relaxation and shopping and decorating not ultimately fulfill? Because I’m looking to shadowy substitutes instead of the radiant glory of God.

Lord, fill our eyes with the radiance of your glory! Help us see it and treasure it while grocery shopping and teaching our kids and folding laundry and running errands. May we stay so close to that sun that the heat of it brings us joy. Even on this routine Tuesday, help us to revolve around you instead of ourselves, and experience the delight of being satisfied… full… overflowing with your glory.

The melting power of the Cross

Charles Spurgeon is known as the ‘Prince of Preachers’ because of his remarkable ability to bring the glories of Christ to the heart through his mastery of language. Just allow this to stir your worship and faith this week.

“Oh, the power, the melting, conquering, transforming power of the dear Cross of Christ. My brothers, we have but to constantly tell ourselves the matchless story, and we may expect to see the most remarkable results. We need not despair of our hearts now that Christ has died for this sinner.

With such a hammer as the doctrine of the Cross, this most flinty heart will be broken and such a fire as the sweet love of Christ will melt this most mighty iceberg. I need never to despair of my inability or my bad habits if I can but find occasion to bring the doctrine of Christ crucified into contact with my nature. It will yet change me and Christ will be my King.”

C.H. Spurgeon, quoted in Gospel Transformation, (Jenkintown, PA.: World Harvest Mission, 2002), 129.

This quote comes from the excellent blog, Of First Importance

Weak of Prayer?

Every family confronts a day or season in the life of one of their children where grace is pit against the rebellious strong will of a son or daughter. It might be a toddler who refuses to stay in bed at night or a teen who continues in some secret sin. Whether young or old, once our methods have all been tried, without success, it is easy to fall into a place of doubt and resignation. Finally in desperation we might cry out to God, asking for help, but often even those prayers are marked with unbelief.

I know for me, I so often wait too long to pray and my faith is weak even when I eventually get around to it. But there are wonderful verses in God’s Word to strengthen our faith, perhaps none more simply direct than Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

John G. Paton, a missionary to the New Hebrides Islands in the 1800’s remembered just how influential his father’s prayer life was to him: “If anything really serious required to be punished, he retired first to his “closet” for prayer, and we boys got to understand that he was laying the whole matter before God; and that was the severest part of the punishment for me to bear! I could have defied any amount of mere penalty, but this spoke to my conscience as a message from God.”

I want to grow to the place where prayer is not my last resort but my first help. The best way I can serve my children and wife comes through lifting them up to the Lord. He is their help in time of need. If they are struggling in some area, better for them that I pray than simply seize on some practical method to fix their problems. Gospel centered instruction, rebuke, and discipline all play an important part as we train our children up in the Lord. But first, let us pray, for the God who listens and answers prayer is the greatest asset we have to help us in our parenting.

Week of Prayer: Tonight is our All Night Prayer Meeting. I Information about the Week of Prayer can be found here.

Prayer is a Practical Matter

It’s Practical Matters day so I wanted to give a couple of practical suggestions for prayer. One tip from my own personal experience is that I have found (after years of fits and starts) that my best time to pray is in the evening before bed. My morning quiet times are best reserved for aligning my heart and thoughts with God’s word and the hope of the Gospel. At night I can cast my burdens on the Lord. I have more control over how I end my day than how I start it, which means interruptions to the routine are easier to overcome. The discipline of prayer is much more consistently maintained in my life since I began to go down into my basement to meet with God at the end of my day.

Deb Demi offers this other creative strategy. While it’s geared toward women, I think it might work for a lot of us.

Like most women I know, I usually have two goals in the beginning of each new year – to grow in my relationship with the Lord and to get into better physical shape. Like the verse in 1 Cor. 9:24 says, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize," I've discovered that I actually go after both prizes – the benefits of physical and spiritual discipline – at one time.

Curious?

Each morning, equipped with an i-pod and a daily prayer list, I hop onto my treadmill. For the first 10 minutes I listen to worship and scripture memory songs. Then, for the next 20 minutes I use a 5-day rotating prayer list which includes (at this time) - my husband, two of my children, one our pastors and his family, a church ministry (like Alpha), three teens from our youth community group, a neighbor, an extended family member, and a good friend. The Lord always prompts me in how to pray as I begin each time asking Him to fill me with His Holy Spirit, confessing my sin, basking in the gospel, and asking Him to help me pray. It never fails that time flies by and I feel the Holy Spirit's presence and power.

It's been about 3 years now since I began this discipline. The time has only grown sweeter and sweeter. Not only has this practice helped me to be consistent in praying, but the Lord has used the time to speak to my heart, to bring encouragement to my soul and to give me direction for the day. After that extended time in prayer, it's easier for me to be aware of the Lord's presence reminding me to pray more throughout the day.

Not only am I getting into better shape physically, I'm growing – by His grace – in my relationship with Him. You may not have a treadmill or an i-pod, but ask the Lord how you can creatively run the race for His glory!

Information about the Week of Prayer can be found at here.

Prayer in Marriage

Dennis Rainey, host of Family Life Today, is a strong advocate of daily prayer for married couples. In an article entitled “Prayer, The Secret of a Lasting Marriage”, he makes the plea that regular prayer together be a part of every married couple’s experience. Rainey estimates that only about 5% of married couples pray together on a daily basis, and wonders how the lack of this spiritual investment affects the quality of our marriages.

Rainey challenges couples to a simple exercise – pray together for one week straight. He is confident that the value of praying together can come from even a small initial investment.

When you think of the Week of Prayer, think of it as a marriage opportunity as well. Here is the complete article.

Information about the Week of Prayer can be found at here.

Let Us Be Weak… And Pray

For Tuesday at Fivebucks this week, Ramona Doyle offers us her thoughts on prayer…

I have been walking with the Lord now for almost 33 years, through good times, and trying times as well. And I’ve learned many lessons about prayer—as many from not praying as I have from being faithful to pray. As I look back over the years, one thing becomes painfully apparent: to not pray is to miss out on the Lord’s ordained means for communion with him and the wonderful blessings he promises in his Word for those who pray. You don’t have to live long to realize that “life is bigger than me,” full of trials and hardships. Apart from the intimacy with the Lord that prayer affords, though, we can remain disconnected from the realization that “God is bigger than life”. There is one season in my life when both of these truths came strikingly into play—when we were seeking to adopt our youngest child, Dayrin. We had already adopted Jonathan from Bolivia and were convinced that the Lord had at least one more child for us. God didn’t move a mountain or part the Red Sea to make the adoption happen; but he did meet us and move in our situation in some very specific ways as we lifted our voices to him in prayer.

Just weeks before traveling to Bolivia for our second adoption, all U. S. — Bolivian adoptions ceased. As I cried out to the Lord I was struck with how quickly the Lord met me with peace. Then, as we believed the Lord wanted us to place the adoption on hold to care for my aging mother in her declining years, I cried out to the Lord again as I watched my own youthful years ticking away. What comfort I received in the knowledge that the Lord had heard my prayers when, the next day, a sister in the church approached me with the prophetic encouragement to ‘not fret as I watched my hair turning gray, because the Lord’s timing in this adoption would be perfect’. Later, when I confessed fear to the Lord in prayer, worrying about whether the four year old Guatemalan girl who had been referred to us would knit to us, the Lord quickly brought comfort from his word that when she was knit in her mother’s womb, “in (his) book were written every one of them, the days that were formed for (her), when as yet there were none of them.” (Psalm 139:13-16) God did knit Dayrin into our family – she has truly been a Doyle from the beginning. Again, the Lord reminded me as I prayed of his nearness and involvement in my life.

Whatever your situation or stage of life, remember that we are too weak and helpless to not pray, and God is too faithful and merciful not to hear our prayer. His word encourages us with a promise, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7) So Let Us Be Weak – And Pray!

Information about the Week of Prayer can be found at here.

Week of Prayer

Happy New Year (well, almost). This is our annual Week of Prayer for the Church so we’ll be devoting the blog this week to the topic of prayer. I’ve included the schedule for the prayer meetings below. You can also obtain this information on the CFC web site.

Let’s not just remember prayer this week, let’s remember to pray. And let’s not get prayer ‘out of the way’. Let’s have it be an intention of our hearts and minds and time. The following are some thoughts to inspire us that the privilege to pray and the power to pray have come to us as a result of the Gospel.

John 14:13-14 (ESV) Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.

Graeme Goldsworthy: “In Christ we cannot be condemned as inadequate or ‘failed’ pray-ers. I should not think, because I don’t pray as I ought, that God is less inclined to listen to me than he is to listen to some great prayer warrior” (Graeme Goldsworthy, Prayer and the Knowledge of God, 50)

January 2-5 Week of Prayer Please join us as we dedicate a week to prayer, January 2-5, 2008. We will be reserving the Upstairs Conference Room for personal prayer and intercession from 7:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. each day. Please consider fasting for a day or more during this important week in the life of our church. We will begin the Week of Prayer with a prayer meeting on Wednesday, January 2 from 7:00 a.m.–8:00 a.m. in the Upstairs Conference Room. There will also be prayer meetings on Thursday and Friday mornings from 7:00-8:00 a.m. The week will culminate in a all-night prayer meeting from Friday, January 4 to Saturday, January 5. The meeting will begin at 7:30 p.m. with worship in the Auditorium.

Week of Prayer Schedule Wednesday, January 2 Prayer Meeting 7:00 a.m. - 8:00 a.m., Upstairs Conference Room Personal Prayer 7:00 a.m. - 10:00 p.m., Upstairs Conference Room Thursday, January 3 Prayer Meeting 7:00 a.m. - 8:00 a.m., Upstairs Conference Room Personal Prayer 7:00 a.m. - 10:00 p.m., Upstairs Conference Room Friday, January 4 Prayer Meeting 7:00 a.m. - 8:00 a.m., Upstairs Conference Room Personal Prayer 7:00 a.m. - 10:00 p.m., Upstairs Conference Room All Night Prayer Meeting 7:30 p.m., Auditorium & Upstairs Conference Room Saturday, January 5 Prayer Meeting Ends at 12:00 p.m.

Merry Christmas!

"And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace" (John 1:16)

What more fitting words can describe our year as families at Covenant Fellowship Church. It is in the fullness of the Son ‘born that man no more may die’ that we want to dedicate this week’s family blog to you, the husbands and wives, mothers and fathers, and children and youth of this church. Thank you for loving the Savior and serving Him with us. We love you and are inspired by the examples you set. May the Lord Jesus continue to pour out grace upon grace to all of you in the coming year.

Merry Christmas! Have a great holiday celebrating the birth of our Savior.

Mark Prater, on behalf of the Family Life Team.

Christmas Socks

“The hopeful children each hung an old stocking from the rough sawn oak mantle. ‘Pick the biggest sock you can find,’ one of the older boys encouraged a younger sister. ‘Remember, the bigger it is the more stuff you’ll get,’ he added. Then, as the last sock hung in place, the children stepped back to take in the full picture. The worn socks told a story. They were play socks, well worn, not the leggings of a wealthy family. They spoke of good times together, a carefree life, and the absence of shoes. One might have pitied their owners as poor if the message they spoke was not so warm. The parents, aware of the time, ushered their children off to bed. ‘The faster we get to sleep, the faster morning will come,’ a little boy shouted as he ran, and the others followed.

Then in the morning, the most wonderful surprise greeted the children. Instead of the worn hand-me-down socks they had tacked to the mantle the night before, they found the most beautiful embroidered Christmas stockings and each was filled with presents and chocolates.”

As I finished the story, my children’s eyes lit up with wonder as they hung their own worn socks on our fireplace mantle. They too had picked the largest socks they owned and now wondered just how many things Lois and I would be able to cram inside their footwear. “Off to bed” I ordered and my six children ran, eager to awake the next morning.

After all threat of their reappearing had past, Lois and I took down their worn socks and replaced them with beautifully embroidered and monogrammed stockings purchased for each one by their grandmother. We stuffed them full with presents and chocolates and then head off to bed ourselves, hoping to fall asleep fast that we might speed the arrival of morning ourselves. Little did our children suspect the entire story was a setup foreshadowing the merry surprise to come.

The Christmas morning shock, amazement, and surprise lives on as one of our fondest Christmas memories. Since that Christmas, grandma has since gone to be with the Lord, but those embroidered stockings get hung every year and greet each of our children filled with small gifts and goodies on Christmas morning.

Good News From Bad News

This past Sunday Dave Harvey did an outstanding message on Genesis 3:14-19. Genesis 3 doesn’t seem like an obvious Advent passage, but as Dave helped us all see, there is amazingly good news embedded in even the worst news of the Bible – a Savior born of a woman who would overcome the works of sin and Satan that have come to us in the Fall of Man. I was particularly affected by how much this passage speaks to us as Christians – those whose sin is forgiven and atoned for in the cross.

Dave made an important distinction between the reign and curse and guilt of sin that has been overcome by the cross, and the continuing battle with remaining (or indwelling) sin that occurs in us as redeemed children of God. If you haven’t heard Dave’s message please check it out. But here are some reflections as I’ve thought about what Dave said.

So often my understanding of grace isn’t wrong, but it is deficient. While I love basking in the grace of my acceptance in Christ, it is an ongoing, thoughtful awareness of my indwelling sin that gives grace weight in my daily life.

Dave gave us Jerry Bridges’ take on how we can wring good news from bad news, “The gospel is meaningful for us only to the extent that we realize and acknowledge that we are still sinful. Although we are new creations in Christ, we still sin every day in thought, word, and deed, and perhaps even more importantly, in motives. To benefit from the gospel every day, then, we must acknowledge we are still sinners.”

Dave shared that the pastoral challenge will always be to help Christians exult in the solution without ever losing sight of the problem. That’s my personal challenge as well. I’d just as soon lose sight of the problem, but that doesn’t make the problem go away. I see this in my life when my actions and attitudes don’t match my convictions. I see it when I’m surprised that anyone would raise questions about my motives when I do something that seems to me to be perfectly reasonable. I see it when I realize that I’m the last person to see an ungodly pattern in my life that seems obvious to everybody around me. In these times, which are not that infrequent, to say ‘I’m a sinner’ is the most obvious and accurate description of myself. It places me squarely before the cross and fully under God’s word. Grace provides forgiveness, power and wisdom for honest worship and true change.

And that’s good news from bad news.

Seeing Sin, Speaking Grace

Here’s a very helpful marriage communication reminder from Brian Chesmore, one of the Family Life Pastors at Covenant Life Church (and a WCU alum) from his post on their Family Room Blog

APPLYING GRACE TO YOUR MARRIAGE

My mind is like a sieve. Info in and info out. That’s okay with sports stats and local news. But often what is delivered to our minds is too priceless to simply let drift away. No example of this is truer than the transfer of truth from the pulpit to our souls weekly, on Sundays.

God’s word is filled with exhortations to be good hearers and good appliers of His truth. And so we want to take a few posts to apply CJ’s outstanding message from Sunday. We want to remind you of a few points, a few quotes, a few books, and some ways we can apply it: in our homes and in the church. Here’s the first quote:

Only by seeing our sin do we come to see the need and wonder of grace. But exposing sin is not the same thing as unveiling and applying grace. We must be familiar with grace and exponents of its multifaceted power, and know how to apply it to a variety of spiritual conditions. Truth to tell, exposing sin is easier than applying grace; for, alas, we are more intimate with the former than we sometimes are with the latter. Therein lies our weakness. (Sinclair Ferguson)

Here’s one way to grow in applying grace to your marriage. Ask yourself what sin your spouse is currently battling. Then consider this question: “What carefully spoken words could I share that would unveil and apply grace to my spouse’s soul?”

Let’s not be satisfied with exposing sin. Let’s take our spouse to Calvary with our words and prayers.

Devotional Plans A and B

With the arrival of Lily (our third child) on October 30^th, life has been full around the Mellinger home! I have pretty much been operating in survival mode the past few weeks…making sure everyone is fed and clothed and the sick are tended to. Not much is getting done beyond that. My regular routine of getting up early so that I can have extended time with God went out the window the day we returned from the hospital. But just because I’m in a busier season where I can’t have a consistently long quiet time first thing in the morning, doesn’t mean that I need lose the discipline altogether.

One of the things I learned from Carolyn Mahaney when Jared and I were at the Pastors College is the idea of having a Plan A and a Plan B for my quiet times. This has helped me a lot, especially with young kids. Rather than having no quiet time when life gets crazy, Plan B provides a simple backup plan.

For example: Maybe Plan A is 30 minutes of Bible reading, devotional-type reading, and prayer. Plan B might be only 10 minutes long – enough time to read a chapter of the Bible (or read a meditation on the Bible from Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening) and take a few minutes to pray.

Plan B is simpler and shorter, but it’s still taking time to feed my soul and acknowledge my need for God’s help. The value of having a plan B is that it can help avoid the temptation to completely scrap our quiet times just because we don’t have as much time as we would like.

Can a Plan B ever become a Plan A? Could there be a temptation to settle for Plan B because its more convenient than Plan A? Sure. That’s where the oversight of our husbands and the accountability of ladies in our fellowship group can help us work against letting busyness overtake spiritual disciplines. But I find that one of the benefits of a Plan B is that it tends to keep my heart longing for more time with the Lord in the morning, not less.

So although you may not have new baby in your house, having a back-up plan for your quiet times may be helpful when the unexpected comes your way (as it inevitably does) and you find yourself in a time crunch.

The Word Became Flesh?

Wisdom For the Week focuses this week on the Incarnation. In John 1:14, we are told that ‘the Word became flesh and dwelt among us’. David Mathis from Desiring God (from a post on December 7) unpacks the incarnation in a very helpful way for us.

What Is the Incarnation?

The incarnation refers literally to the in-fleshing of the eternal Son of God—Jesus becoming a human being. The doctrine of the incarnation says that the eternal second person of the Trinity took on humanity in the person of Jesus of Nazareth. A helpful way to remember the key aspects of the incarnation is John 1:14: “The Word became flesh.”

The Word...

The Word refers to the eternal Son of God who was “in the beginning with God” and who himself is God (John 1:1). From eternity past until he took on humanity, the Son of God existed in perfect love, joy, and harmony in the fellowship of the Trinity. Like the Father and the Spirit, he was spirit and had no material substance. But at the incarnation the eternal Word entered into creation as a human being. He became a first-century Jew.

...became...

Became does not mean that he ceased to be God. In becoming man, he did not forsake his divine nature. It means that he became a man by taking on human nature in addition to his divine nature. It is essential to the incarnation—and very helpful throughout all theology—to recognize that divinity and humanity are not mutually exclusive. The Son of God didn't have to pick between being God and being man. He could be both at the same time. The eternal Word became a man.

...flesh.

Flesh isn't merely a reference to the human body but the entirety of what makes up a human being—body, mind, emotions, and will. Hebrews 2:17 and 4:15 teach that to save human beings Jesus had to be made like us “in every respect” except our sin. In the incarnation, everything proper to humanity was united to the Son of God. The Son of God didn't only become like man; he actually became a true man.

The Word Became Flesh

So the eternal Son of God, without ceasing to be God, took on a fully human nature. This is the incarnation.

And what a magnificent doctrine and fuel for worship this is! Jesus didn't just become man because he could. He became a man “for us and for our salvation” (in the words of Athanasius). The Word became flesh to save us from our sin and to free us to marvel at and enjoy the unique union of divinity and humanity in his one spectacular person.

The incarnation is not only the way in which Jesus became Immanuel—God with us—but it's an eternal testimony that he and his Father are unswervingly for us.

Check out this blog and others in David Mathis’ Advent Series here.

Christmas Songs That Count

One of the downsides of having every other radio station on the dial playing Christmas music is that by around mid-December, say today, we’ve had just about enough of Wonderful Christmastime, not to mention Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer. I’m on a hunt for Christmas song download ideas. I want songs that both remind me of the season and draw me to the Savior.

If you’re like me in this, maybe we can all serve one another. The following is my own personal list of ten favorite versions of ‘true’ Christmas carols. All are available as downloads. It’s important to let you know these are personal favorites – my kids and Jill would give you a much different list. But here is mine with some comments. You’ll notice some standards are missing – no “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” for example. That’s because I haven’t found a recorded version that rises to favorite status.

What I’d like is to hear from you on your favorite versions of carols. If we get a good list we’ll post it next week so we can all go into Christmas week with fresh opportunities to worship. The only conditions are:

· We’re not looking for secular holiday songs, but for Christmas carols

· Songs need to be obtainable – preferably downloadable.

· No criticism of my list is allowed. Remember ‘good will toward men’ and all that.

Ten Songs for My Season (in no particular order)

The First Noel - BeBe and CeCe Winans (Love this version)

O Holy Night, Steve Green (Josh Groban is who you hear, but Steve Green’s older version gives me chills)

In the First Light, Glad (A great Bob Kauflin Song. I’m not a big fan of Glad, but I like what they do here. Todd Agnew has recently done it as well.)

One Quiet Moment, Glad (See above, minus Todd Agnew)

Christ the Lord Is Born Today, Sovereign Grace Music (My favorite song on a great album)

Little Town, Amy Grant (From her first album, sounds dated, but a nice idea. We did this as a Christmas special back in the Gauntlett Center, and it was a joy from first rehearsal to Christmas Eve)

Joy to the World, BeBe and CeCe Winans (I really like this version but would love a more traditional version suggestion)

O Come, O Come Emmanuel, Phillips, Craig and Dean (I love the way this builds, and the harmonies – joy in a minor key)

O Come All Ye Faithful, Steven Curtis Chapman (We did this as a Christmas special a few years ago as well – a very nice arrangement, though some unnamed worship team members would beg to disagree.)

The Little Drummer Boy, Harry Simone Chorale (I always thought this was an odd song, but one of my great memories as a kid was singing this arrangement in a combined children/adult choir at our church at the candlelight service. Takes me back).

So there you go. And please give me a “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” recommendation.

Answers to Tough Christmas Problems

Here are two problems that can sneak up on us every Christmas season:

· What kind of gifts will be really meaningful beyond the tearing of the wrapping paper?

· What are we going to do with all these people at our house?

The Family Life Blog comes to the rescue on both counts. If you’re looking for really meaningful gifts, we’ve got some great new resources in our Book Shoppe for folks of all ages. To make your shopping easy, take a look at the featured books and CD’s we have available this Christmas season in our holiday brochure, which you can access here.

Are you having a party or family gathering this Christmas season? If so, you’ll be wondering how to make it fun for everyone. One game we’ve used in parties over the years is a version of the old “Claymation” game, adapted for holiday themes. It is fast paced, doesn’t require any skill, and gets everybody involved. We’ve used it with family, with teens, and in an adult parties of up to thirty people.

Here are all the instructions… Christmas Claymation Game

Merry Christmas!

When Sinners Say, “You’re wearing what?”

(Blogger’s apology: The following post may contain comments that could be construed as male/female stereotyping. If you don’t believe the post below represents your experience, keep reading this blog. We’ll get to you eventually)

One of the problems that comes with winter is that it’s dark outside in the morning. That means it’s also dark inside in the morning. Which isn’t that big a deal, unless you’re trying to get dressed with the lights off because you’re leaving early in the morning and you’d like to let your wife sleep in after a very full week. And unless the clothes you wear require approval by a committee of fashion-conscious women in your house who don’t want you to look as old as you really are. And unless the designated colors in your closet all seem to be olive greens and earthy browns. And unless you happen to be colorblind in such a way that makes those particular shades look exactly alike.

So, I woke up the other day and put on what I thought were green pants and a gray shirt. That seems to work – I see football teams wear that combination all the time. Apparently it doesn’t work off the gridiron. Jill was just getting up as I was leaving and caught a glimpse of my ensemble in a ray of light coming through the window.

“That doesn’t go.”

“Yes it does. It’s going to work right now.”

“No, that gray doesn’t go with that green.”

“I thought grays go with greens.”

“No, that gray has brown in it, and that green has blue in it.”

“And blue and brown go together, right? So my gray and my green work and my blue and my brown work.”

“But not all together.”

On the way to work (after changing), I reflected on what has been a regular source of heat in our lives – my wife’s role in my appearance. Here are some things God showed me from that pondering:

· My wife is concerned about my appearance to others because she wants people to respect me like she respects me. She wants people to see me at my best.

· My wife cares about her role as my helper. When I dress in ways that demonstrate a lack of concern for my appearance, it tells others that she is not playing a role that God has fit her for in making her my helpmate.

· For my wife to shop for clothes for me is an expression of her love. Every moment she shops for me says, “I love you and am making you the focus of my attention.” She knows how busy I am and how much I hate to shop for clothes. Guys, if your wife shops for your clothes, it is the suburban equivalent of taking a bullet for you. Be grateful your life has been spared.

Ladies, if you shop for your husbands, here are a some things from guy world that might help you:

· Most guys don’t think in terms of shades or combinations, they think in terms of worlds - the world of black, white and gray, and the world of everything that isn't black, white or gray. And the world of blue. Everything works in the world of blue.

· When it comes to clothes, most guys don’t think in terms of fashion, they think in terms of function. The question isn’t, ‘will this look good?’, they ask, ‘will this be comfortable if I’m having to bend down a lot today?’.

· The more you think like a man when you shop for a man, the fewer things you’ll take back, and the less surprises you’ll have when he comes home after a whole day and you discover what he wrapped himself in for all to see.

Take some time on a date and talk about what clothing means to you and how you can understand each other better in this day to day reality of marriage. Love and care is worked out in the small details of life together.

When Not to Spread Your Wings

“PLANNING” –doesn’t the word just make you shudder sometimes? Even though I am a person who loves order and organizing things (you have to be, if you’re married to an AdministratorJ), I still don’t like the process of getting there. Did you ever notice that when you sit down to plan how much you wonder what you could be getting done if you weren’t planning? Nonetheless, by His grace, I bought in hook, line, and sinker to the wisdom and very helpful principles in the Girl Talker’s new book, Shopping for Time. I’m part of an early morning club where a friend calls to help me get up in the morning, and then I call a friend to help get her up. It has been such a huge blessing—especially for getting in regular quiet times! I set aside time once a week to plan the week and a few minutes each morning to plan the day.

But somehow in the last month or two, I neglected the weekly and daily schedules and would just “wing it.” You know what ‘winging it’ looks like – just getting busy, focusing on whatever is right in front of you, doing whatever task comes to mind, responding to whatever wheel squeaks the loudest. Winging it seems to work for a time, but it’s hard to run a house and family that way. The days become chaotic, priorities get lost, projects don’t get done, and I always seem to be running to catch up. Well, I realized that this would probably not serve my family as we headed into this busy Christmas season, so I jotted down a schedule the other morning and tried again. Time is a gift from God, and He wants us to steward it well.

Proverbs 31: 27 describes the godly woman as one who manages her home well, and that takes planning! Planning doesn’t mean that I get everything done. After all, God loves to interrupt even our good plans with his better plans. But prayerful planning does allow me to make choices, not just react as I go through my day. For example, at the end of my planned day, I realized that I had found time to stop by a friend’s house and go through some hand-me-downs for Rosie, saving another resource from God, our income. I was able to review my son’s upcoming schoolwork – an often neglected responsibility in recent weeks. I even fit in a short and very enjoyable trip to the library with Rosie, which is good for our mother/daughter relationship. I don’t think I would have followed through with any of these without being intentional – which comes from the mental clarity that prayerful planning provides. I’m learning that taking the time to plan keeps my ‘winging it’ wings safely tucked away, and that’s a good thing in any season, especially during the holidays. Ladies, let’s seek to make the only wings we see over the next few weeks the ones on the angels in our Christmas decorations.

The True Christian’s Love For the Unseen Christ

One of the most common things I hear when I meet with people who are facing trial or personal failure is that they aren’t aware of God’s love. Is God that distant from me? Is He that disappointed in me? Why don’t I love him like I should? It doesn’t help us in these times that our confidence in God’s love so often comes from what we feel. We cherish the feeling of God’s love, and we want it back when we lose it. And when we don’t feel loved, its hard to love, isn’t it?

Puritan Pastor Thomas Vincent wrote a book to help Christians who struggled with loving God because their experience didn’t seem to be coming from a loving God. He wrote the book, The True Christian’s Love for the Unseen Christ to comfort the souls of believers in the midst of the Black Plague (he had left a safe country church to go into London specifically to pastor Christians in plague-ravaged areas). These were godly people tempted to believe God had abandoned them. And they were battling the fear that they might abandon God. Vincent wrote to assure them that their love for Christ was based in, and therefore secured in, the love of Christ. As the Apostle John wrote, “We love, because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

If you have lost awareness of the love of Christ, or wonder where your love is for him, allow Vincent’s wonderful catalogue of the love of Christ to recast your vision.

“True Christians love Christ because of His love, His love which He bears to them. He loves them with a first love and with a free love. He loves them with a tender and compassionate love, with an active or doing love, with a passive or suffering love. His love is infinite, without bounds of limits; it is superlative, without comparison; transcendent, beyond comprehension; everlasting, without change; and will have no end or conclusion. He loved them when they were polluted in their sins, and washed them with His own blood; He loved them when they were naked in their souls, and clothed them with robes of His righteousness. He loves them in their sickness and sorrows, and is their Comforter; He loves them in their wants and straits, and is their Benefactor. He loves them in life, and is the life of their souls; He loves them at death, and is the stay of their hearts; and He loves them after death, and will be there portion forever.” (The True Christian’s Love for the Unseen Christ, page 16)

Holiday Lights

It’s the time of year to get the family in the car and do a Christmas light tour. You see the fireworks on the 4^th, do leaf watching in October why not do a Christmas light tour followed by a stop for hot chocolate at a convenience store or coffee shop?

If you don’t want to travel far, here is an idea to try. Do a drive of your surrounding neighborhoods and rate the houses you see on a scale from 1 to 10. In the end pick what you think is the best house (do a family vote – and talk about why you like it). At the end of your drive leave a note in the winner’s door (or even knock on the door and meet them) saying that you award them the best Christmas decorations of the _____ (Insert your family’s name) Annual Christmas Light Tour. Thank them for the great decorations and then add an invitation to our church’s Christmas concert.

If you see a house or a street that you think others on a tour would like to see, let us know the street and approximate location. If we get enough we’ll put together a tour you can take any night during the holidays.

If you’re looking for the big displays, here are a few places to go, some have admission but some are free.

Rose Tree Park just north of Media: Every year, during December through early January, the park is decorated for The Festival of Lights. The display features multicolored lights on our beautiful live trees along with familiar Christmas displays.

Directions: Off Route 1 (Media Bypass) to Route 252 (Providence Road) and Rose Tree Road.

Cost: Free

Herrs Potato Chip Factory Christmas Light display: Herrs holiday lights extravaganza has 180,000 lights in this year’s display and is open from 5pm until 7am. Check out their web site for more information at www.herrs.com/WhatsNew/SpecialEvents.html

Directions: Take 1-95 South to Route 322 West to Route 1 South. Exit Route 272 (Nottingham) and turn left. Travel for 50 yards, turn right onto Herr Drive and follow signs to the Herr's^® Snack Factory Tour™.

Cost: Free

Longwood Gardens - This year, Longwood is transformed into a winter wonderland filled with sparkling lights, fragrant flowers, joyous music and a dazzling ice skating extravaganza. Dancing fountains are synchronized to holiday music in the Open Air Theatre, and festive organ sing-alongs fill the Ballroom with the sounds of the season. Check out their website for show times at www.longwoodgardens.org. The light display is open from dusk to 9pm.

Directions: Longwood Gardens is located on US Route 1, about 3 miles northeast of Kennett Square, PA. Longwood is an easy drive and offers free parking!

Cost: Adults $16 and students $6 Children under 4 free.

Shady Brook Farms - Experience millions of lights illuminating acres of farmland. Whimsical Holiday displays and familiar characters. Drive through in the comfort of your own car or watch the show on a moonlit hayride. Take a look at their web site at www.shadybrookfarm.com for more details. They are open from Dusk to 10pm

Directions: Take I-95 to Exit 49 (Newtown/Yardley, formerly Exit 30) Follow Route 332 West ¼ mile to traffic light. Turn left onto Stoney Hill Rd. The entrance is ¼ mile down the road on the right.

Cost is $20 per car load.

O Christmas Tree; O Christmas Tree???!

We’re at the height of Christmas Tree Season, so our Family Life Amateur Arborists are here to weigh in with advice on getting your tree.

If you’re buying a cut tree:

Check for moisture content by picking the tree up by the trunk and forcefully hitting the bottom trunk against the ground. If a lot of needles fall off, the tree is already dried out. If the tree passes this test, break off the tip of a small branch. If the inside looks green and doesn’t snap when broken, the tree is probably fresh enough to last the season.

When picking out a tree be sure to look at the base of the tree as well as the shape. If the tree trunk is too large in diameter to fit into your stand, pass it up.

If you are cutting your own tree:

Cut it as close to the ground as possible. That leaves you with more trunk to work with when you get home.

Call your tree farm in advance and ask about insect infestation in their trees. Small Aphids, some mites and spiders lay eggs on evergreens and can hatch out in your home once the tree gets warm. Ask you tree farm if they have experienced any problems with insects and if they will refund your money if your tree turns out to be infested. If they say they will not refund your money look elsewhere.

Setting up your tree:

Cut at least an inch off the stump before putting it into your stand. Cut it off just before you put it in the stand and then add water immediately. A popular recipe for the water to help your tree live longer is, 2 gallons of HOT WATER: 2 cups of Karo syrup, 2 oz. of liquid bleach plus 2 pinches of Epsom salt, 1/2 teaspoon of Boraxo (You can get this at the supermarket), and 1 teaspoon of chelated iron (you can get this at garden centers). Some recipes call for bleach. If you use one with bleach make sure to mix it away from your living room rug.

Before setting up your tree, purchase a large tree removal bag and set the tree up on the bag. Once you remove the tree at the end of the season from the stand you can pull the bag up over the tree and avoid dropping needles all through your house.

To avoid a fire hazard, keep water in your tree at all times, inspect your wiring for missing bulbs and frayed wires, Don’t plug more strings of lights together than the package recommends as the thin cords can heat up if too many lights are on one line. Always turn your tree lights off when you go to bed and don’t keep the lights on all day. Don’t use candles close to a tree. Double check that the batteries in your smoke detectors are fresh and keep a fire large fire extinguisher nearby. Dry Christmas trees are fire hazards.

Finally, here’s a suggestion from one of the guys, who has apparently learned some wisdom from the experience. Feel free to guess who it is.

If it’s 14 or more feet tall, anchor it to the wall so that it doesn’t topple over three times before Christmas – not that that would ever happen.