Therefore, Encourage One Another

While driving to church one Sunday morning this past summer, I asked my husband Bill why he had been unusually quiet lately. He began to share a couple areas in his life where he had been discouraged. I remember having the thought that I knew the cause of his discouragement… and it certainly had nothing to do with me. During worship that morning the Lord met me and a thought entered my mind. “When was the last time you encouraged your husband?” I couldn’t really remember. The Holy Spirit was graciously convicting me of my lack of love and care for Bill in the area of encouragement. I was able to confess what God was showing me in the car on the way home from church. We were met by God’s love and forgiveness and experienced restoring grace in this weakness in our marriage. After this incident I realized that, even after being together for 17 years, I wasn’t sure I knew how to encourage my husband. I felt like God wanted me to really know my husband on a deeper level so that I could be a greater helper for him. I wanted to better know what things I did or said that built him up and what I might be doing that could tempt him toward discouragement. I also realized that, more than anyone else, I need to be the one to speak grace into his life, always willing to point out where God is at work in him.

I began a personal mission to find out how to encourage Bill, so I gave him a question to answer. “In what ways, by word or by deed, can I encourage you in this season of our lives?” His answers (two pages long!) both surprised envisioned me. It was then that really I realized the important role I play as an encourager and a means of grace to my husband. I keep Bill’s response to that question in my journal to help me remember this call for me as his wife. One of my favorite quotes from Dave’s book, When Sinners Say “I Do” is this, “When a spouse communicates grace, we move beyond mistakes and the journey becomes enjoyable.” I want to enjoy helping Bill in our journey together. I want him to know that I am more aware of God’s grace in his life than what he needs to work on. That’s the way it’s supposed to be when sinners say ‘I do’.