How to Mark Up a Book

This is the fourth installment in our little practical series on how to read good Christian books. Today I’ll share my simple way to enhance the value of reading through marking up a book. We’ll jump from last week’s final point.

Mark It Up: Books aren’t like baseball cards, they increase in value when you write in them. Unless you’re very famous, your marked up book won’t sell well on eBay, but a marked up book is something that you can return to for inspiration and insight again and again. I value my marked up books also because they serve kind of like a journal, I can read what I marked and remember back to what God was doing in my life at the time.

Here’s what I’ve developed as my ‘mark-up strategy’.

1. Put your name and telephone number in the front of the book – its really frustrating to lose a well-marked book

2. Highlighters can be very useful, but I don’t use them because they kind of say to me, ‘only what is highlighted is any good’. I don’t underline for the same reason, plus, I can’t draw straight lines so my underlines can look like I’m trying to cross something out.

3. I put little asterisk/stars (or checkmarks if you prefer) in the margins of the book next to things that really stick out to me or speak to me in some special way when I’m reading. This will direct me in the future to a section on the page but will make me read the full context to get the idea. It also allows me to add more marks if I re-read the book because there is room on the page. The actual type of the book doesn’t get cluttered up with underlines, etc.

4. If there is a particular sentence or paragraph that stands out, I’ll put brackets around it to emphasize it.

5. If the author defines a term I’ll underline the term and write ‘DEF’ (for definition) beside it, because I’ve found I often go back to a book to see how an author understands a certain word or theological concept. I may also put other simple words or phrases in margins if the page addresses a theme that is particularly relevant in my life (for example, wherever an author mentions sloth or unbelief you’ll see a note in MY margins).

6. I use the empty back pages of the book like a journal, making personal notes I can pray over in the future.

7. After I’m done, I’ll go back through the book and look at all my little stars. If in a second look the section still really hits me, I’ll put a circle around the star. This is for the stuff that really defines the experience of reading that book for me. I can go back to those points in particular years later and say, ‘that was God speaking to me!” Sometimes I’ll even type up the section as a quote.

8. The last marking I do is to put the month and year that I completed the book inside the front cover. This is just a personal quirk, but it helps me associate a book forever with a season of my life. I love opening a book and seeing something like, ‘10/92’ and then remembering where I was in my walk with God as I read that book.

This is just what works for me. You may have something else. The point is, the real value in a book is in how we make it our own.

Next week we’ll talk about jumping into the deep end of the pool – how to read a Puritan book. It can be done!

"I Do" in "3-D"?

Another exciting development in how God is using When Sinners Say "I Do" . Sovereign Grace has just published a series of ten short video's on the internet with Dave sharing both the vision for the book and summaries of each chapter. This is a great resource for folks whom you might think could benefit from the book - they can actually preview the book on the internet. The videos are well done and convey a great sense of Dave's pastoral heart and personal reflections which are at the heart of the book.

Here's the link, check it out - and pass it on.

On Cracker Crumbs and Family Memories...

Pastors note: This is a post Ramona submitted a couple of months ago that we thought might serve ladies looking ahead to Superbowl Sunday

It was football night for the Doyle men (I say men because two of my sons are already 6’4” and to call them anything else would be absurd). Nachos, salsa, and sodas are the “stuff” of those male bonding adventures. Try as we might, we gals (my two daughters and I) will never fully understand the attraction…a bunch of unruly guys butting heads, rolling in mud, and braving the freezing cold to kick a lop-sided ball over a fence. Sometimes we join them in half-hearted attempt to show support, but all in all, we just don’t get it. On this particular evening, only one thing appealed to the three of us—chick flick! Instant enthusiasm for the idea, even for my seven year old (who thinks herself an expert on the finer points of young womanhood).

Now this happened to be our weekly “snack night”. That means instead of an evening meal, we clear out the fridge and set out snacks family room. This is a HUGE treat for our kids, who must usually follow stricter guidelines about what they eat and where they may eat it during the rest of the week. Following suit, my youngest daughter loaded up her plate with crackers and raced up the stairs to my bedroom, flopped on my bed, and began to arrange the pillows into a comfy spot for her older sister and me. Entering my room, I heard myself detailing a long list of constraints for having food in Mom’s room… “Don’t this…don’t that…and, oh yes, watch those cracker crumbs—they’re not very comfortable to sleep on…” You get the idea. To obey me at that point she would have had to stand in the corner of the room in a HAZMAT suit.

Ouch! I did it again. I love order. But as the Lord has so graciously tried to teach me in the past…my organizational gifts bear good fruit only to the extent I use them to serve my husband and the Lord’s purposes for my family. They are tools to use for His glory, not an end in themselves. How was I serving my daughter in that moment? What would she remember about this evening—that Mom is a good housekeeper? Did I want that to be her take home point for that precious time the Lord had made available to us? I thank the Lord for grace in the moment. We curled up on the bed…cracker crumbs and all. It took us only a moment to clean up the cracker crumbs and my daughter hugged me and thanked me for the special girls’ night in Mommy’s room.

Now if I happen to hear a crunch in the middle of the night, I have a great memory to attach to it.

Love Him…Trust Him…Try Him…

One of the common experiences for every Christian can be captured in a sentence we’ve all used at one time or another.

“I just don’t think I love God like I should”

I’ve noticed something about this experience of insufficient love for God in my life and in counseling others. I hardly ever hear it come out of my mouth or hear it spoken by others when we are in trial. We say a lot of things, but we don’t typically assess the quality of our love for God in trials. Come to think of it, we don’t often wonder about whether we love God sufficiently when things are going really well, either. For example, I don’t think the thought has ever even crossed my mind on vacation.

No, a sense of deficiency in love for God seems to be most easily felt in those ‘okay’ seasons of life – when things are neither really great or really hard. Which for most of us is a good portion of our experience. I think this may be one of those experiences for which Paul’s exhortation in Romans 12:11 is meant, ‘Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord”.

The temptation with this sense of deficient love for Christ is that we’ll tend to either beat ourselves up over it, or try to drum up affections that feel like love – which usually ends with us beating ourselves up anyway. Instead, consider this great ‘kick start’ advice from John Newton:

“You complain, ‘Alas, I love Him so little.’… But I can give you good advice and good news: love Him as well as you can now, and erelong you shall love Him indeed. If you want to love Him better now while you are here, I believe I can tell you the secret how this is to be attained: trust Him. The more you trust Him, the better you will love Him. If you ask, farther, ‘How shall I do to trust Him?’, I answer, try Him: the more you make trial of Him, the more your trust in Him will be strengthened. Venture upon His promises; carry them to Him and see if He will not be as good as His word. But, alas! Satan and unbelief work the contrary way. We are unwilling to try Him, and therefore unable to trust Him, and what wonder, then, that our love is faint, for who can love at uncertainties? (John Newton – Letter 3, undated, The Voice of the Heart, 209)

Try Him….Trust Him…and you will love Him.

A Gospel Moment Between a Dad and His Little Girl

One recent morning my seven-year-old daughter Anna came stumbling into the living room as I was finishing my devotions. Calling her toward me, I scooped her up onto my lap for a morning hug. “I won’t be able to do this much longer,” I thought, realizing she barely fit snuggled up with me. I whispered in her ear how blessed I felt as a dad for God to have given me such a wonderful daughter. With her head on my chest, I could feel a broad smile emerge on her face. The love of a father is a powerful means of grace in the life of a child.

Then, while her attention was focused on me, and all the world around lost to her, I shared the Gospel. “Love, did you know Jesus died on the cross for your sins, so you could be forgiven and become a part of God’s family. He wants to give you life, and help you live for his glory. You need to believe in Jesus, that he died for you, and rose again from the dead and trust Him with your whole life. That’s what your mommy did when she was a little girl.”

I didn’t ask for a response. I knew she was listening. For a moment longer I held her tightly on my lap, then gave her a hug and sent her on her way. Topped off with a fresh fill-up of fatherly affection she ran for the kitchen and breakfast. No profound spiritual awakening was evident in our short interaction. But that wasn’t my goal. I was simply trying to be faithful and respond to an opportunity God had given me to lay another foundation stone in her life.

Over the course of our children’s lives we build in them a sure foundation, one block at a time. Never underestimate the importance of repeating the Gospel and never forget that the Gospel is the power of God for our salvation. Be confident that our gracious God is able to save, something we as parents sometimes would like to do ourselves. I could have coaxed an affirmation to my gospel presentation from Anna, and maybe someday a moment like this will call for a response from her. But these aren’t my moments, they belong to God, and I want to be faithful to Him with them. One day – a day of His choosing - He will grace her with godly sorrow, lead her to repentance, and move her out of slavery to sin, into the family of God. Until that day comes, I am content to speak, to wait and to watch Him work.

Reading an Unreadable Book

This is the third part of our series on reading good books. Let’s assume you’ve got your book and you’re looking to dive in. How can you get the best out of the experience? Here are some tips.

When To Read: Books with good theological content are best read at a slow, reflective pace. Find a time when you are generally alert, unhurried and are not likely to be distracted. Try to learn to read for half-hour to hour stretches – good books tend to build their content and you want to get the flow of the author’s thinking. Read complete sections – try not to just stop at a random place. If possible read whole chapters. If you find a book is really feeding your soul (many actually do!), use it as a devotional book as well as reading it at other times.

Read Prayerfully: This doesn’t mean simply praying before you read, though it’s a great idea to ask God for the gift of illumination and understanding. Even during the selection process it’s good to be asking the Lord where he wants you to focus your attention. Many people read because of what they have gone through. We don’t often think that God might draw us to a book to prepare us for something in the future. But he just might do that for you. Also, pray that God would give you grace to persevere through difficult parts or things that seem boring. Often the best gold comes from the hardest digging. Folks who give up on books that aren’t being ‘helpful’ can miss much of the richness in theological study.

Plan To Finish: All theology books look intimidating when you first open them up. Long words, small print, endless footnotes, no pictures – not exactly user friendly. Remember that theology builds – theologians tackle problems, wrestle them down as best they can and try to deliver a meaningful perspective at the end. Try to read a book straight through, and try to finish it. I find that I’m not really able to keep more than one or two theology books going at once.

Keep the Source Close at Hand: Have a Bible nearby so that if an author is referencing a passage of scripture you can look it up and consider what he’s saying. I’ve found at times that I’ve been reading a theology book, consulted a reference, and seen the Bible text with such a fresh clarity that I’ve put down the book and picked up the Bible. Not a bad trade-off!

Mark It Up: Books aren’t like baseball cards, they increase in value when you write on them. Unless you are very famous, your markings in a book won’t sell well on eBay, but a marked up book is something that you can return to for inspiration and insight again and again. I value my marked up books also because they serve kind of like a journal, I can read what I marked and remember back to what God was doing in my life at the time.

Next week we’ll talk about ways to mark up a book.

"To Help" is an Action Verb

My husband Bill and I celebrate our anniversary just after the New Year, which makes it an ideal time to plan for the year ahead. While on an anniversary trip, we set aside some time to do just that. My husband led us through setting some measurable goals for the upcoming year in several different areas of our relationship and family life—romance, prayer together, family nights, and consistent time to talk, among them. As we shared ways in which we would like to grow in these areas over the next year, I began to see a consistent pattern in the way I have related to Bill’s leadership in them—with passivity. My mind drifted to the day before when I had been helping my fifth grader with a grammar assignment, and my own words came back to haunt me: “ ‘To help’ is an action verb. It’s not passive. It is something you do…”

I can tend to look at things as either Bill’s responsibility or mine, and lose sight of my high calling to be his helper. I cook dinner, do the laundry, care for my home and family. All of these things do help him. He provides for us, and leads in the various aspects of our family’s life. But while I value his leadership, I often neglect to actively help him as he seeks to lead. I began to ask myself some questions and invite Bill’s feedback. When he plans a date night, do I ‘go along for the ride’ or have I invested thought and effort to help make that time special? When he initiates a romantic evening, do I sleepily capitulate, or seek creative ways to let him know how special he is? When he organizes our weekly family night, do I just show up, or have I asked him how I might help him prepare?

I have a copy of our goals in my journal so that I might consistently pray for the Lord’s grace to be an active helper. And I’ve asked Bill if I can plan an occasional date or family night—not to usurp his leadership, but to actively demonstrate my care for him and the children in creative ways. He would never plan a romantic dinner that “I” cook. But how blessed he would be to come home to an empty house and his favorite meal set in fine china on the dining room table. Why not join me in eagerly seeing what the Lord will do as we invest our time, hearts, and efforts ‘to be’ the helper God has designed us to be for our husbands.

Gratitude

One of the things that the pastor’s wives have done recently is we each picked an area that we would like to grow in and study over the next year. Of course when I’m given an assignment like this about 10 things immediately come to mind, but we kept it simple and just picked one. So while I could have picked any number of things I went with gratitude.

I used to think of myself as a pretty grateful person…that is until about two years ago or so, when the Holy Spirit helped me to recognize that I often take things and people for granted and assume that I have a right to or deserve certain things (like a peaceful conversation with my husband at dinner time!). In short I became aware that there was a lack of thankfulness in my heart and my life.

My hope and my prayer for this next year is that God will use my study of gratitude to bring about a change in my heart - So that at this time next year, by God’s grace I will be a more grateful person.

I’ve just started doing some reading on the topic of gratitude and thankfulness and already I’ve found some great quotes. I especially like this one from Jerry Bridges because it reminds me that as I seek to change in one area of my life, it will inevitably affect other areas as well. Here’s what he writes in his book The Practice of Godliness:

“Thanksgiving promotes not only the glory of God, but also humility in us…thanksgiving also stimulates our faith….thanksgiving promotes contentment…thanksgiving will also promote contentment about possessions, position, and providence by focusing our thoughts on the blessings God has already given, forcing us to stop spending our time yearning for things we do not have.”

We can’t change in every area all at once, but we can pick one area to focus in on and with God’s help experience genuine change. So where might God be calling you to grow in godliness over this next year?

Martin Luther King Day

Today we honor Martin Luther King. Here’s one of my favorite lesser known quotes from Dr. King.

You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve. You don’t have to know about Plato and Aristotle to serve......You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. (Martin Luther King, The Words of Martin Luther King, p. 17)

Some dates stick out to you when you are growing up. For me, one of those dates was April 4, 1968. We were leaving an open house at my school, Dresden Elementary in Chamblee, Georgia. It was early spring chilly as we all climbed into our red Rambler station wagon and my dad turned on the car. The news came to us through WSB AM, the only radio station I knew. Dr. Martin Luther King had been shot in Memphis, Tennessee.

For a nine year old white boy in the deep south, it was an unsettling moment. I didn’t know much about Dr. King or what he stood for, but my parents had taught me to respect him, just like they had taught me to root for Henry Aaron. I knew enough to know that not everyone around us thought well of Dr. King and the movement he represented. And we were white southerners in a white southern culture. So shock and grief were mixed with fear – fear of what might happen next in a very volatile country at the time.

I’m so grateful for my parents. What they said over those next few days helped settle the fears of a little boy who didn’t understand yet how evil works in the world, or how God works even evil for good. What they modeled helped that little boy understand that race doesn’t define a person, but character does. That’s the power of parenting. That’s the message of Dr. King. I’m grateful for both.

Will God Forget?

Alzheimer's disease.

Those two words carry immediate temptation to fear and worry, particularly when spoken over a parent or family member. How would I respond if one of my parents had Alzheimer's disease? What would I say to them? What if I was the one diagnosed?

One of the privileges I have in serving as a pastor is to provide care for families who are walking through the elderly years of parents and grandparents. I came across a moving blog post the other day from songwriter and Sovereign Grace pastor, Mark Altrogge. He talks about how he has found the sweet grace of God in the circumstances that all families fear. Mark writes,

God has promised never to forget his blood-bought children. He's engraved us on his hands and written our names on his heart. He never slumbers nor sleeps as he watches over us. He knows our rising up and our lying down, our going out and coming in. He never leaves us or forsakes us. If we fly to the sunrise or sink in the sea, he'll be there. He can't forget us because we've been joined to Christ. When he looks at Christ he sees us. Oh yes, God remembers us.

In our Family Friday blogs we’ll deal with child raising, school questions, and other stuff of life in our busy homes, but there’s a lot more to family at Covenant Fellowship. Even if you don’t anticipate walking a parent through the later years of life, take some time to read this post – its what families do.

Here's the link: Did God Forget my Mom?

May God use it to strengthen you today with His great and precious promises.

I Heart Theology?

In our blog last Thursday we talked about some ways to choose good Christian books. Okay, let’s pick a book.

What To Read?: There are several general types (genre’s) of Christian books. Let’s assume we’re not interested right now in fiction or biographies. Among non-fiction books let’s consider several options. Devotional books are written to help people in a very personal way with their relationship with God. They tend to be written in a very inspirational way – sometimes they are selections from a well published author or preacher. They are often bite-sized reflections which are not really connected to each other – ideal for daily reading. Practical Theology is a very broad category that seeks to take Biblical truth and apply it to issues of life. Marriage and parenting books, books on worry, on financial management, etc. are all practical theology. The challenge with practical theology is that some books can deal with the practical very well, but lack in the theology department. Or they may be theologically sound but miss the mark in where we really live. We should have a regular diet of good practical theology to help us walk in a manner worthy of our calling as believers.

A third type of book, and the one that intimidates us, is sometimes called Theology Proper. Theology is ‘the study of God’. Theology books wrestle with ideas, particularly about God and our relationship to Him. Many theology books are ‘systematic theology’, a theologian grappling with what the Bible says about something in particular, or a range of things. Theology wrestles with doctrine – what should be believed. For example, the difference between a practical theology of suffering and a doctrinal theology of suffering might be something like this: The practical theology would seek to help you or me wrestle with our own suffering and seek to give us help in responding to it in God-honoring ways. A doctrinal work on suffering would wrestle with the BIG questions – why is there suffering, what does the Bible say about suffering, what is God’s purpose for suffering. It may have little practical advice for folks who suffer. Besides systematic theologies, there are biblical theologies (tracing the development of an idea through the Bible); historical theologies (dealing with how a theological idea has been treated through history), and commentaries (verse by verse studies on specific books of the Bible). Each type of theology has its own merit and use.

Just remember our point from last week – not every Christian book (and this includes theologies) is a good book. Theology is evaluated based on its ‘soundness’ – how well it conforms to the teaching of the Bible as understood in proper context.

Next Thursday we’ll jump into how to actually read a book of theology. Yipee.

Be Careful What You Wish For…

Sometimes in marriage we have honest misunderstandings. What one spouse thinks they say and what another spouse thinks they hear can be very different. I like this little story because it captures how marriage is nothing if it is not a consistent reminder that God really did make men and women very different.

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.

"I'd love to be six again," she replied.

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park.

What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, and the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow! Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, the latest razzle-dazzle animated epic, a hot dog, popcorn, Pepsi, and M&Ms.

What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"

One eye opened. "Honey, I meant my dress size."

Therefore, Encourage One Another

While driving to church one Sunday morning this past summer, I asked my husband Bill why he had been unusually quiet lately. He began to share a couple areas in his life where he had been discouraged. I remember having the thought that I knew the cause of his discouragement… and it certainly had nothing to do with me. During worship that morning the Lord met me and a thought entered my mind. “When was the last time you encouraged your husband?” I couldn’t really remember. The Holy Spirit was graciously convicting me of my lack of love and care for Bill in the area of encouragement. I was able to confess what God was showing me in the car on the way home from church. We were met by God’s love and forgiveness and experienced restoring grace in this weakness in our marriage. After this incident I realized that, even after being together for 17 years, I wasn’t sure I knew how to encourage my husband. I felt like God wanted me to really know my husband on a deeper level so that I could be a greater helper for him. I wanted to better know what things I did or said that built him up and what I might be doing that could tempt him toward discouragement. I also realized that, more than anyone else, I need to be the one to speak grace into his life, always willing to point out where God is at work in him.

I began a personal mission to find out how to encourage Bill, so I gave him a question to answer. “In what ways, by word or by deed, can I encourage you in this season of our lives?” His answers (two pages long!) both surprised envisioned me. It was then that really I realized the important role I play as an encourager and a means of grace to my husband. I keep Bill’s response to that question in my journal to help me remember this call for me as his wife. One of my favorite quotes from Dave’s book, When Sinners Say “I Do” is this, “When a spouse communicates grace, we move beyond mistakes and the journey becomes enjoyable.” I want to enjoy helping Bill in our journey together. I want him to know that I am more aware of God’s grace in his life than what he needs to work on. That’s the way it’s supposed to be when sinners say ‘I do’.

WouldaShouldaCoulda

Do you ever find yourself in the WSC? The ‘WouldaShouldaCoulda’ trap. You know, thinking about what might have been if you had just done or said something different. Or wondering what life would have been like if THIS would have happened to you, or THAT wouldn’t have happened. A year or so ago we did an outreach drama called The View From Regret. Are you familiar with that view? Sometimes the WSC trap is about things from months or even years ago (It seems like everybody has some WSC memories from high school). But we can fall into the WSC trap over something that happened recently as well, even as recently as a few minutes a go.

If you are well acquainted with the WouldaShouldaCoulda trap, let the following words from A. W. Tozer inspire you this week to get out of the trap by pressing into your relationship with God.

“As we move deeper into personal acquaintance with Triune God I think our life emphasis will shift from the past and the present to the future. Slowly we will become children of a living hope and sons of a sure tomorrow. Our hearts will be tender with memories of yesterday and our lives sweet with gratitude to God for the sure way we have come; but our eyes will be focused more and more upon the blessed hope of tomorrow.” (A. W. Tozer, Praise in Three Dimensions, Fifty-Two Selected Chapters, p. 156)

Pass the Peas…and the Encouragement

Dinnertime provides a great opportunity for the family to engage in meaningful conversation but it doesn’t seem to happen automatically in my home. In fact, if left to itself, our dinner time conversation usually starts with a complaint about one of the food items or the size of the portion and moves on to debates among the kids as they give each other instruction on the correct way to chew and other food etiquette.

A while back I entered into the fray with a new idea. Why don’t we encourage one another? One by one each of our children received a turn to encourage someone else at the table. My wife Lois and I would join in as well, usually going last to encourage anyone who might have been left out. I found our children, if given something to talk about, could have some very encouraging meaningful conversation. Since those first encouragement exercises we have explored other ways to lead the family in meaningful conversation and fellowship during our main meal. Here are a few of ideas to try with your family at dinnertime.

1. Save individual encouragements for members of your family to share with everyone during your dinner meal. Just before I wrote this blog entry I received an email encouragement from a friend about my son. It ended up being part of our encouragement time at dinner that night. This helped also in showing the kids how God loves to provide opportunities for us to build up one another.

2. Share testimonies and articles with your family that affected you. It might be a page from a book you are reading or a story from the days paper. If it affected you, read it to your family and talk about how it touched your life.

3. Read a novel to your children a little bit at a time. As soon as your children get hooked into the story, they will long for you to read to them at dinner. It gives them something to look forward to at dinner time. We’ve read through the Chronicles of Narnia, some of the Little House books, and stories from Brian Jacques’ Redwall series as well as Pilgrims Progress. Sometimes we read a few pages while other times we’ve read a whole chapter.

4. Do your family devotions after dinner. If you are using our Get Into the Story devotional but can’t seem to get everyone on the same schedule in the morning, put the book by your spot at the table and read the days devotion just after you finish eating.

5. Ask good questions. They don’t always need to be spiritual. A month or so ago I asked everyone which of the vacations we took in the past ten years would they like to do over again? It lead to some great interaction and gave me some ideas of what the family might like to do for a future vacation.

Of course, all of these ideas assume you are regularly eating together as a family. This isn’t always possible but the benefits of sharing the dinner meal together are worth trying to protect that time. If you get home a little later, try to eat a little later as a family whenever possible.

Learning to Read

If you haven’t guessed it by now, we’re a reading church. Our Book Shoppe isn’t in the business of making money, and our book table in the old Gauntlett Center was a losing proposition as well. Are we bad at business? No, we so want to get resources into your hands and minds and hearts that we are happy to simply cover our costs of having them around.

Why this emphasis on reading? Reading quality Christian books will never replace the reading of God’s word or the preaching of your pastor, but it will help you hear and understand with greater maturity. A good book will challenge your thinking and motivate your heart. It will dislodge error and give you an appetite for truth. Good books humble us by reminding us that, to paraphrase an old Irish proverb, ‘good ideas often aren’t new, and new ideas often aren’t good’.

Here at the Family Life Blog we want to stir families to read – starting with you, dads. So here is the first of some occasional posts on ‘learning to read’.

· You can assume that Christian books are written by well intentioned authors. But not every book that seems to be Christian is a good Christian book. One way to do a spot evaluation of a book is to see who endorses it. While endorsements are a part of marketing, they reveal who the author looks to for inspiration, and that can tell you a lot about what he or she wants you to get from the book.

· The test of time is very important for evaluating the quality of a Christian book. While not all old books are great books, new books tend to reflect fads in culture and can be so trendy as to have little value over the long haul.

· Sales of books don’t always reflect their ultimate value; they tend to reflect the amount of marketing behind the book or author.

· Who the author is, and what his/her life reflects matters in a Christian book – even fiction. Learn about the authors before you read their books – does their work come from a good life model?

· I tend to recommend reading deceased authors as a priority. Not that there are no good living writers, or that dying instantly makes bad writers into good ones. Its just that how someone finishes the race tells me a lot about the value of what they had to say while they were running it.

· C. S. Lewis sums up my goals in reading – to learn wisdom from those who are wise:

The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are. (C.S. Lewis, The Quotable Lewis p.233)

Ten “Makeable” Romantic Ideas

This blog is for husbands, so wives, if you’re reading this, let me offer some advice. If your husband doesn’t read this blog why not gently suggest that he take a look at this post. Perhaps he won’t immediately fall on his knees and say – ‘this is the answer I’m looking for!”. But he might just find something he likes, an idea he may just tuck away for a future time. Another thing you could do is print the list out and have a chat about which of the ideas you’d like and which wouldn’t be your cup of tea. It can be a great fellowship exercise – and he’ll know you much better afterward.

Guys, this is a really good list of things to consider. I’m calling it ‘makeable’ like I’d call a putt ‘makeable’ in golf. Some of us can make tough ones, for others, like me, the difference between ‘gimme’ and ‘makeable’ is only a few inches. I’ve done a number of these in some version – some are more makeable than others. Just remember, what blesses most wives is not the expense you go to, or even success, but the fact that you are spending your time away from her thinking about her, planning for her, and desiring to bless her. But look for something you can pull off. A make is always more encouraging than a near miss – in golf and romance.

1. Get her a gift certificate to her favorite store and hide it under her pillow, or somewhere she will discover it.

2. Write a letter to your wife describing her strengths and your need for her.

3. Praise her in front of the children about the things she does, the way she cooks, etc.

4. Use all the pennies in your piggy bank for a date. Don't spend any other money. See how creative you can be!

5. Buy a basket and fill it with sweet things for your sweetheart (for example: love notes, chocolates, jams, lollipops, heart-shaped candles, perfume, etc.)

6. Go back to a place you went when you were newlyweds and stay overnight. Be sure to bring pictures from that time and take a romantic trip down memory lane together.

7. Dress up like a fancy restaurant waiter, and serve your wife dinner at a candlelit table for two (the food could be carry-out from her favorite restaurant), then go change and be her date.

8. Court her again by recreating something fun you did when you first dated one another.

9. Give your wife a homemade coupon booklet consisting of romantic and practical "freebies" (i.e., “Redeem this coupon for a free foot massage” or, "This coupon good for one free evening out with your friends while I watch the kids."). Include a blank one for her to fill in whatever she wants.

10. Put together a memory album with love letters from a specific year or several years. Categorize them and use clip art.

Listen

It’s Tuesday again, and good to be together, even if only for a moment of common contemplation. Too bad there’s no cyber-coffee.

Well, John Piper’s been at it again. He’s got a lot of nerve, yanking me out of my world of superfluous trivialities! He’s made quite a habit of it over the years. And I must say I’m grateful, even though I put up a good fight. Can I pull you in with me for a moment?

Shhhh. Just listen.

We were made to know and treasure the glory of God above all things; and when we trade that treasure for images, everything is disordered…

Yes, John, it is. I bear witness. The images of perfection, of getting things done, of having perfect kids, of beauty, of self-focus, all leave me empty, dissatisfied, hungry for something more.

The sun of God’s glory was made to shine at the center of the solar system of our soul. And when it does, all the planets of our life are held in their proper orbit. But when the sun is displaced, everything flies apart.

Are the planets of my life revolving around God’s glory? I think much of the time I’m trying to lasso all those planets so they can revolve around me! And the result is most often frustration. Is that your grace, Lord, redirecting me?

The healing of the soul begins by restoring the glory of God to its flaming, all-attracting place at the center. We are all starved for the glory of God, not self.

Aaah! The cold but invigorating truth! Why do I feel disordered, dissatisfied, always hungry for something to fill me up? Why do even good things like conversation and relaxation and shopping and decorating not ultimately fulfill? Because I’m looking to shadowy substitutes instead of the radiant glory of God.

Lord, fill our eyes with the radiance of your glory! Help us see it and treasure it while grocery shopping and teaching our kids and folding laundry and running errands. May we stay so close to that sun that the heat of it brings us joy. Even on this routine Tuesday, help us to revolve around you instead of ourselves, and experience the delight of being satisfied… full… overflowing with your glory.

The melting power of the Cross

Charles Spurgeon is known as the ‘Prince of Preachers’ because of his remarkable ability to bring the glories of Christ to the heart through his mastery of language. Just allow this to stir your worship and faith this week.

“Oh, the power, the melting, conquering, transforming power of the dear Cross of Christ. My brothers, we have but to constantly tell ourselves the matchless story, and we may expect to see the most remarkable results. We need not despair of our hearts now that Christ has died for this sinner.

With such a hammer as the doctrine of the Cross, this most flinty heart will be broken and such a fire as the sweet love of Christ will melt this most mighty iceberg. I need never to despair of my inability or my bad habits if I can but find occasion to bring the doctrine of Christ crucified into contact with my nature. It will yet change me and Christ will be my King.”

C.H. Spurgeon, quoted in Gospel Transformation, (Jenkintown, PA.: World Harvest Mission, 2002), 129.

This quote comes from the excellent blog, Of First Importance

Weak of Prayer?

Every family confronts a day or season in the life of one of their children where grace is pit against the rebellious strong will of a son or daughter. It might be a toddler who refuses to stay in bed at night or a teen who continues in some secret sin. Whether young or old, once our methods have all been tried, without success, it is easy to fall into a place of doubt and resignation. Finally in desperation we might cry out to God, asking for help, but often even those prayers are marked with unbelief.

I know for me, I so often wait too long to pray and my faith is weak even when I eventually get around to it. But there are wonderful verses in God’s Word to strengthen our faith, perhaps none more simply direct than Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

John G. Paton, a missionary to the New Hebrides Islands in the 1800’s remembered just how influential his father’s prayer life was to him: “If anything really serious required to be punished, he retired first to his “closet” for prayer, and we boys got to understand that he was laying the whole matter before God; and that was the severest part of the punishment for me to bear! I could have defied any amount of mere penalty, but this spoke to my conscience as a message from God.”

I want to grow to the place where prayer is not my last resort but my first help. The best way I can serve my children and wife comes through lifting them up to the Lord. He is their help in time of need. If they are struggling in some area, better for them that I pray than simply seize on some practical method to fix their problems. Gospel centered instruction, rebuke, and discipline all play an important part as we train our children up in the Lord. But first, let us pray, for the God who listens and answers prayer is the greatest asset we have to help us in our parenting.

Week of Prayer: Tonight is our All Night Prayer Meeting. I Information about the Week of Prayer can be found here.

Prayer is a Practical Matter

It’s Practical Matters day so I wanted to give a couple of practical suggestions for prayer. One tip from my own personal experience is that I have found (after years of fits and starts) that my best time to pray is in the evening before bed. My morning quiet times are best reserved for aligning my heart and thoughts with God’s word and the hope of the Gospel. At night I can cast my burdens on the Lord. I have more control over how I end my day than how I start it, which means interruptions to the routine are easier to overcome. The discipline of prayer is much more consistently maintained in my life since I began to go down into my basement to meet with God at the end of my day.

Deb Demi offers this other creative strategy. While it’s geared toward women, I think it might work for a lot of us.

Like most women I know, I usually have two goals in the beginning of each new year – to grow in my relationship with the Lord and to get into better physical shape. Like the verse in 1 Cor. 9:24 says, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize," I've discovered that I actually go after both prizes – the benefits of physical and spiritual discipline – at one time.

Curious?

Each morning, equipped with an i-pod and a daily prayer list, I hop onto my treadmill. For the first 10 minutes I listen to worship and scripture memory songs. Then, for the next 20 minutes I use a 5-day rotating prayer list which includes (at this time) - my husband, two of my children, one our pastors and his family, a church ministry (like Alpha), three teens from our youth community group, a neighbor, an extended family member, and a good friend. The Lord always prompts me in how to pray as I begin each time asking Him to fill me with His Holy Spirit, confessing my sin, basking in the gospel, and asking Him to help me pray. It never fails that time flies by and I feel the Holy Spirit's presence and power.

It's been about 3 years now since I began this discipline. The time has only grown sweeter and sweeter. Not only has this practice helped me to be consistent in praying, but the Lord has used the time to speak to my heart, to bring encouragement to my soul and to give me direction for the day. After that extended time in prayer, it's easier for me to be aware of the Lord's presence reminding me to pray more throughout the day.

Not only am I getting into better shape physically, I'm growing – by His grace – in my relationship with Him. You may not have a treadmill or an i-pod, but ask the Lord how you can creatively run the race for His glory!

Information about the Week of Prayer can be found at here.

Prayer in Marriage

Dennis Rainey, host of Family Life Today, is a strong advocate of daily prayer for married couples. In an article entitled “Prayer, The Secret of a Lasting Marriage”, he makes the plea that regular prayer together be a part of every married couple’s experience. Rainey estimates that only about 5% of married couples pray together on a daily basis, and wonders how the lack of this spiritual investment affects the quality of our marriages.

Rainey challenges couples to a simple exercise – pray together for one week straight. He is confident that the value of praying together can come from even a small initial investment.

When you think of the Week of Prayer, think of it as a marriage opportunity as well. Here is the complete article.

Information about the Week of Prayer can be found at here.

Let Us Be Weak… And Pray

For Tuesday at Fivebucks this week, Ramona Doyle offers us her thoughts on prayer…

I have been walking with the Lord now for almost 33 years, through good times, and trying times as well. And I’ve learned many lessons about prayer—as many from not praying as I have from being faithful to pray. As I look back over the years, one thing becomes painfully apparent: to not pray is to miss out on the Lord’s ordained means for communion with him and the wonderful blessings he promises in his Word for those who pray. You don’t have to live long to realize that “life is bigger than me,” full of trials and hardships. Apart from the intimacy with the Lord that prayer affords, though, we can remain disconnected from the realization that “God is bigger than life”. There is one season in my life when both of these truths came strikingly into play—when we were seeking to adopt our youngest child, Dayrin. We had already adopted Jonathan from Bolivia and were convinced that the Lord had at least one more child for us. God didn’t move a mountain or part the Red Sea to make the adoption happen; but he did meet us and move in our situation in some very specific ways as we lifted our voices to him in prayer.

Just weeks before traveling to Bolivia for our second adoption, all U. S. — Bolivian adoptions ceased. As I cried out to the Lord I was struck with how quickly the Lord met me with peace. Then, as we believed the Lord wanted us to place the adoption on hold to care for my aging mother in her declining years, I cried out to the Lord again as I watched my own youthful years ticking away. What comfort I received in the knowledge that the Lord had heard my prayers when, the next day, a sister in the church approached me with the prophetic encouragement to ‘not fret as I watched my hair turning gray, because the Lord’s timing in this adoption would be perfect’. Later, when I confessed fear to the Lord in prayer, worrying about whether the four year old Guatemalan girl who had been referred to us would knit to us, the Lord quickly brought comfort from his word that when she was knit in her mother’s womb, “in (his) book were written every one of them, the days that were formed for (her), when as yet there were none of them.” (Psalm 139:13-16) God did knit Dayrin into our family – she has truly been a Doyle from the beginning. Again, the Lord reminded me as I prayed of his nearness and involvement in my life.

Whatever your situation or stage of life, remember that we are too weak and helpless to not pray, and God is too faithful and merciful not to hear our prayer. His word encourages us with a promise, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7) So Let Us Be Weak – And Pray!

Information about the Week of Prayer can be found at here.