Valentine’s Eve

It’s Valentine’s Eve, and at this point the world of married couples is divided into two camps – those who have made plans to celebrate Valentine’s Day, and those who haven’t. For those who have, congratulations on your foresight, may your Valentine’s Day be a truly romantic experience.

However, for those who haven’t made plans, let me offer some practical advice (from experience – both good and bad) on how to rescue your Valentine’s Day.

First, some DON’TS:

DON’T panic. Valentine’s-oriented businesses make their money on people who panic and go for the big score to rectify a missed opportunity. Don’t buy into it.

DON’T be guilt-motivated. Your spouse can tell the difference between a thoughtful gift or romantic plan and something you’ve thrown together out of guilt. Trust me, its along way from guilt to romance.

DON’T judge or compare. I think every couple who has been married for more than a few years has an experience where one spouse’s romantic gesture seems a little more, let’s say, substantial, than the other’s. Let’s not be critical of any attempts to express love or romance.

And that leads us to some ‘DO’S’.

DO be grateful for whatever your spouse does to show love, even if it is not much different than what they might do any other day. Last time I checked Valentine’s Day was not a national holiday. Let’s not raise our expectations simply because the calendar page has flipped.

DO be honest. If you forgot it was Valentine’s Day, or never followed through with something you thought to do, acknowledge it. Consider whether the oversight was due to a sinful motive or selfish neglect. If so, confess and repent to your spouse. And Spouse – you forgive, as you have been forgiven much worse by your Father in heaven.

Do carve out a special moment. Valentine’s Day is 24 hours long. Work together to carve out a little piece of it as mutual declaration of your love for each other and your commitment to a God-glorifying marriage. Twenty minutes of ‘stop everything, you matter to me’ will do much more to build your marriage than panic driven, guilt motivated, budget busting last minute extravagance.

Happy Valentine’s Day!