Good Sports

Its playoff time. In the pro’s we have the NBA and NHL championships going on. Colleges and high schools are winding up their spring sports. The Olympic Trials and Beijing Games are on the horizon. And over the next month thousands of little kids throughout the country will be experiencing the thrill of victory (for some) and the agony of defeat (for most) as little leagues hit the home stretch.

If you have kids in sports you are probably always on the lookout for examples of good sportsmanship, Stephen Altrogge of the Blazing Center blog (dated 5/8/08) passes along a video feature that is worth watching – and talking to your young athletes about.
Check it out

Summer Classes for Men

It’s a good thing to be a life-long learner, isn’t it guys? The Family Life Team has been made aware of the following summer instructional courses that you might find helpful.

Summer Classes for Men @ the
ADULT LEARNING CENTER – Wives Faculty

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIF FICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM


Class 1
How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 4
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly into the Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 5
Loss of Identity--Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 6
Learning How to Find Things--Starting with Looking in the Right Places And Not Turning the House Upside Down While Grumbling Under Your Breath
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 7
Real Men Ask for Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 8
Is It Genetically Impossible to Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 9
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

On second thought, maybe the school of discipleship that is run by the Holy Spirit as he applies God’s word to out hearts is a better educational value.

Three BIG DEALS

There are three great opportunities to grow to remind you about today – I’m calling them BIG DEALS. Here they are:

BIG DEAL #1. Our own Dave Harvey will be featured for the next three days (Wednesday through Friday) on the radio program “Family Life Today”. Dennis Rainey, host of Family Life Today, will be interviewing Dave on his book, When Sinners Say “I Do” The program is carried on WFIL AM at 9:00 am and 11:30 p.m., or you can download or stream it going to the Family Life Website.

BIG DEAL #2. “BUSY?”. The Family Life Team will be tackling the challenge of overblown family schedules this Saturday night at our Family Life Meeting. The meeting begins with coffee at 6:30 p.m., teaching begins at 7:00 p.m. and will include perspective on busy lives from God’s word plus practical help by a panel of the pastors who will be interacting with questions from the audience. Come out and join us for a strategic time of envisioning and creative ideas to bring your family schedule into order.

BIG DEAL 3. From now through June 30, couples who register for the Sovereign Grace Regional Marriage Conference in January will receive a $30 discount for their conference registration. The conference theme is “Marriage and the Mercy of God”. To register or to get more information go to www.mercy4marriage.org

Three BIG DEALS in one spot. That’s something worth blogging!

Busy?

This Saturday Night (May 31, 6:30 p.m.) the Family Life Team is sponsoring a meeting to talk about how to manage our busy lives in God-glorifying ways. Cindy Campbell sent these thoughts on Busyness in a couple of months ago – can you identify?

It was one of those days……………. If you’re a mom, you know THOSE DAYS I’m talking about.……. Fighting had erupted early……….. at 6:30 am to be exact. So there I was quenching the war, administrating discipline, serving breakfast, cleaning up from breakfast, doing two loads of laundry, brushing teeth………. And all before 9:00 am. My sinful heart had already begun to brew inside. I walked past my laundry sorter, and felt that peace, you know the kind I mean……….. I had done all of the laundry and I knew that if I looked inside I would have the satisfaction of an empty hamper. In my heart I was thinking……. Well at least ONE THING is going my way.

But then I looked inside…………… where did those dirty clothes appear from? As I am stewing in my heart about why someone had not gotten their laundry in BEFORE the wash and just HOW many changes of clothing can one family have, I walked into the bathroom……… ah, I had just cleaned it yesterday…………But as I looked around, it looked like an army had come through and set up camp in my sink. Oh Lord, I grumbled in my heart……….. Some days working outside my home looks really appealing! Inside, I was complaining about how all that I do gets undone before I blink an eye! My heart was weary and I definitely did not feel very spiritual.

I went into my bedroom and there on my nightstand was a quote I had just read by Martin Luther –

“What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God.”

Suddenly the blinders were pulled back from my heart – complaining; anger; control; love of peace; my comforts – came into full view. I had been living in the place of looking at my circumstances and measuring my worth by my accomplishments. I had forgotten that my debt had already been paid by my Lord and Savior on Calvary’s cross, and that I had been CALLED to serve this wonderful family. I had just read this morning in my quiet time Psalm 16: 6 The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I was not looking at my life in those moments as pleasant places and I had not seen the Lord in my home. Instead of being grateful for the home He had given me; seeing my children as a gift and viewing my laundry and cleaning as from Him, I had been chaffing against the Lord. I stopped and repented………..

Oh Lord, my heart is so stubborn and unbelieving, would you please soften it. Please forgive my anger against what you have called me to do, my complaining spirit and my need for recognition and praise. Please help me to see YOU in my home, to remember, that as I wash my laundry, clean my bathroom, train my children and all the tasks that You lay before me each day, I am serving you and that I can bring honor and glory to Your name because this is where you have called me to be!

I walked by the laundry again, yep; all the clothes were still there - praise God! I stopped this time and thanked the Lord for my family and that I had the unique and wonderful privilege of serving them each and every day.

Reflections on a Visit from Down Under

For the past three months we have had a pastor from Sydney, Australia living among us and seeking to experience something of what Sovereign Grace Ministries means as expressed in a local church. Many of you have met Kevin and Debbie Reid and their three kids, and we have thoroughly enjoyed having them in our church family. They arrive back in Sydney today. Kevin sent me this blog to express his thoughts and appreciation to God and the folks at CFC for their time here in the States. Please read this and experience God’s pleasure for the impact you’ve had on a pastor and new friend from the Land Down Under.

What could an Aussie learn spending 11 weeks at Covenant Fellowship? Too much for one blog entry. Yet what I’ve learned could be summarised in a statement by CJ Mahaney at Together for the Gospel: A growing awareness of God’s Sovereign Grace should lead us to humility, gratitude and joy. My time at Covenant Fellowship has, I hope, helped me grow in each of these.

1. Humility. I had heard that Americans were arrogant. Yet at Covenant Fellowship I was convicted of my own pride as I saw so many pursuing gospel-driven humility. As I saw pastors and others confess sin to each other, my own heart was opened up to see my own sin more clearly. As I saw people invite feedback and observations from others, I saw my need to more actively seek observations from other Christians. I saw pastors choosing to serve in roles that best served the team or the church rather than themselves. I saw people serving in a variety of ways. I experienced prophecy given in humility – willing to be tested, yet seeking to encourage. All of these have encouraged me to more actively pursue the humility of our Saviour.

2. Joy. I had heard that Americans took themselves too seriously, that Aussie humour wouldn’t go too well over here. Whoever said that has never been to a Covenant Fellowship pastoral team meeting! They laughed at themselves, they laughed with me as I laughed at their strange American expressions and habits, and they laughed (affectionately) at some of my strange Aussie ones. Of course there were weighty decisions that had to be made yet even in these; there was a sense of gospel-driven joy. I saw office staff serving with joy, I saw smiling car park attendants on mornings that seemed amazingly cold to this Aussie family! We saw people singing to God with evident joy in their heart, motivated by the cross.

3. Gratitude. At Covenant Fellowship and the wider Sovereign Grace family, I kept meeting people whose lives overflowed with thankfulness for the cross. I was moved by two ‘older’ Sovereign Grace pastors who told me that after ‘many’ years of ministry they are now more grateful than ever for the cross of Christ. My thankfulness to God grew as my understanding of my adoption through Christ grew through the preaching of the word. The goodness and kindness of God are a constant theme at Covenant Fellowship, and my thankfulness to God grew as I saw God’s character more clearly. This trip was made possible largely through the generosity of the Bard's and the Doyle's who hosted us and the church who risked their Oldsmobile with a family used to driving on the other side of the road! Your generosity pointed us to the even greater generosity of our heavenly Father, and our thankfulness to Him has grown.

I thank my heavenly Father for the way Covenant Fellowship modeled gospel living to me, as you pursued humility, gratitude and joy.

Kids and Cash

In this week’s Family Friday we conclude our week long focus on the “Money Crunch”. The second message of a two part series on finances comes this Sunday.

When my children receive birthday cards from their grandparents, aunts, and uncles there is often a small check or a few dollars in the card. It is fun to watch how children of different ages handle the money. Infants quickly dispose of the card and the money and chew on the envelope. Toddlers love to tear things. If you’re not there to help, the card and the money don’t make it through the day. Pausing over the card to read it and appreciate the sentiments being expressed becomes a tradition in many homes. That is, until our children discover that money can buy them stuff. At that point, the envelope, the card, and the poetic verse are forgotten for the money in the middle. It’s at this time in the child development trajectory that it occurs to a parent, ‘somebody needs to bring some financial counseling into this picture’.

Here are a few thoughts to help you teach your children about money.

• Teach your children that everything belongs to God, including our money. God gives us money to manage in ways that please and honor Him. Sure, we can use it for our needs and even some wants, but God has also given it for the advance of His Kingdom.

• We are not automatically entitled to money just because we exist. Avoid creating an entitled allowance for your children which separates their responsibility to work. Instead, help them from an early age to work for others. Even grade school children can earn money for weeding a flower bed, walking a dog, or washing a car.

• When your children do earn money, teach them three important principles. First, that the first ten percent belongs to God as a tithe. Second, teach them the value of saving money for long term expenses (like even college or marriage, but certainly for more near term things like vacations). And teach them the responsibility to contribute to the family. For example, Christmas and birthday giving is much more meaningful if our kids are giving gifts from their own money or creativity.

• Require permission to make purchases. When your children ask you if they can buy things, consider give them alternatives so that they learn the value of money and the need for wisdom. If they say, ‘dad can I buy an I Pod?’ take a few minutes to show them what that same $100 would become if they saved it. Or show them what they may have to do without if they purchase the IPod (or the skateboard, or the gynormas Lego set).

• Invite them into your finances. Let them see you write the first check – the tithe off the top to the church. Show them just how much money it takes each month to pay for heat, electric, and food. Show them how much is left over after all the bills are paid. It all helps them to see that, “money doesn’t grow on trees.”

At each stage of our children’s development, new lessons about money are needed as our kids’ awareness of stuff to spend on grows. We want to teach them so that the responsibility of money and its benefits always go hand in hand.

FPU – 4U?

Did you ever want to be one of those blue chip recruits being courted by JoePA to be the next great linebacker for the Nittany Lions? Well, we can’t offer that. But consider yourself a blue chip recruit to Financial Peace University.

What is Financial Peace University? FPU is a fun and practical 13-session class that teaches you how to handle your money. Our Summer 2008 course begins Wednesday, June 18th and runs through Wednesday, September 10th. Each meeting runs from 7:00-9:00 PM. If you'd like more information prior to registering please come out to a brief 30-minute Orientation Meeting directly after our Sunday worship services on June 1st at 10:30 AM or 1:00 PM. The Orientation Meeting will be held in our Edwards Room. At the meeting we will show a quick preview video of the class and answer any questions you might have. Also, the pastors are offering everyone who signs up for this summer’s class a $25 discount off of the $100 registration/materials cost.

If that’s not enough, here’s a recruiting pitch from a former All American for the FPU ‘Fightin Calculators’, Stephen Bowers.

I'd been working as a contractor at a company in downtown Wilmington for two years. Then last August my supervisor told me that they wanted to hire me. The upside of this would be that I would start getting medical and retirement benefits. The downside was that all the people I knew who had been converted from a contractor to employee had taken a pretty big pay cut.

All of a sudden I realized that my wife, Fran, and I would probably have to significantly reduce our standard of living to meet this lower income. I didn’t know exactly where to turn for help. Feeling desperate, I prayed that God would guide us. And that’s exactly what He did!

Within a couple of weeks, it was announced that Financial Peace University would be offered here at the church. It was so providential, especially since my daughter, Jennifer, had already been telling us about the teacher of the class, Dave Ramsey. In fact, she and my son-in-law married debt-free as a direct result of his ministry. We knew all we needed to know and signed ourselves up.

As we went through the class I was stuck by the simplicity of it. There's actually nothing unique or new about most of what you’ll learn. Most of us already know what to do. It's like when you listen to the radio and hear a song you "know.” You can sing along and the words come, but without the radio you can't remember word one. As the course progressed I said to myself: “I know how to do that… why I haven’t been doing it?!” It didn’t matter. We set about to apply all the things we were learning.

Honestly, it took us a few hours to work out our first budget. But it was energy well spent. Since we’ve begun living on a budget we’ve really gotten a control over where our money goes. For example, we were able to pay for all our Christmas presents last year with cash. And in April we paid off our car 2 years early. All our credit card accounts have been paid off, and in just four more months we will be totally debt-free, except for our house mortgage!

I thank God that he answered that desperate prayer for help last August by allowing us to take FPU. This class has helped us become much better stewards of the money God has entrusted to us. I’d encourage everyone to go through this class at least once. You won’t regret it. Oh, and by the way I took the job at the end of December. Amazingly I didn’t get a pay cut, but actually a pay increase! Praise God for His abundant generosity and grace!

To learn more FPU, click here.

GO CALCS!

Money Matters in Marriage

Jill and I just celebrated our 24^th anniversary. One of the things we are regularly reminded of is how God seemed to design us to perfectly fit one another. We feel like a matched pair that keeps getting more matched year after year. Even our differences so often seem to complement each other. Except when it comes to money.

Now, there are some important things that we have always seen eye to eye on – a commitment to tithing, a resistance to debt, and a desire to save money. But we came into marriage with a couple of differences that, even after 24 years, can make for head-scratching moments.

One comes from our backgrounds. Jill grew up in a family where her dad made a good and consistent salary and managed his money well. Her family was not rich by any measure, but they were financially secure. One of the values her parents instilled in her is the responsibility to shop wisely. Jill came into our marriage with the perspective that you can buy what you need when you need it, but you should always make a good deal.

I came from a family where money was tighter and we had to learn to ‘do with’ and ‘do without’. Even if we needed something, finding a good deal wasn’t enough. If we spent money for one thing, it meant we needed to let something else go. Sometimes we had to let good deals go because of other more pressing needs. And sometimes we had to meet unexpected needs without the ability to shop for deals.

The way things can collide for us is that Jill can find good deals for things I don’t think we need, and I can react to needs without always making good deals. This can have obvious budget busting implications, as well as provide ample opportunity for conflict.

Another way we’re different can be said pretty simply. For Jill, saving money is worth the hassle of shopping. For me, saving the hassle of shopping is worth the money. Both within reason are understandable. But if her desire to save money causes her to spend $20 in gas to save $10 in price, that isn’t good. And if my desire to avoid shopping hassle means I’ll buy something full price rather than taking an extra half-hour to look for a good deal, that isn’t good either?

What have we learned from our differences? First, that they often reveal desires in our hearts that we are blind to because they are such a part of who we are. That’s where the conflict usually starts. Second, we understand that humility is not trying to get your spouse to see it your way, but to want to do things with our finances God’s way. Third, depending on God for faith – a loving faith to see that he brought us into our marriage with differences meant to make us more like Christ.

Can you define the money differences in your marriage? Can you see the heart motives that lie beneath them? And can you allow the Gospel to give you a redemptive perspective on your differences so that you both embrace the sanctification that comes from seeing how money matters in marriage?

Wives, Moms, and Money

As of January, Jim and I are official Financial Peace University converts, which means several things: we have financial peace, we carry around big wads of cash to the delight of future muggers, and we eat Cheerios the last three days of each month to stay on our budget.

Taking the course has helped us think through financial issues that we thought we’d thought through. (Say that three times fast.) It’s taught us to wisely invest the resources that God has given us instead of squandering them by uninformed decision-making. Throughout the course I’ve found Jim hovering over his laptop, eyes glazed, studying a sea of numbers, which to me is the height of marital martyrdom; since just glancing at a budgeting program on the computer gives me hives, nausea, dizziness, and brain paralysis.

I never intended to be the financially illiterate marriage partner, in fact I sometimes fight it by forcing myself to ask really hard questions like, “Where is our money again?” I blame it partly on heredity, and partly on the fact that I presume Jim is the one who actually makes the major decisions on our financial commitments. But is that really the case?

Think about this. When our husbands are writing checks, what are they paying for? Mortgage. Utilities. Insurance. Car maintenance. Yes these are the big ticket items in our monthly budget. But generally they’re essential – they have to be paid (I’ve learned that these things are called ‘fixed expenses’). But Jim actually spends relatively little money week to week. Ladies, we are the spenders! We are the ones making daily choices on whether or not to spend money. We are often the controllers of what I understand is called ‘discretionary spending’, which means spending that doesn’t have to happen at a moment in time. And it’s this kind of spending that can make the difference in any month on whether we meet the budget or not. Yikes!

Whether purchasing groceries, gifts, clothes, or furniture, wise home managers have to think about money. And money affects us—materially, emotionally, and even spiritually. It can produce feelings of stability, anxiety, and everything in between. That’s why the idea of messing with it always comes with a bit of trepidation. But as any cook knows, stirring things up often brings what’s on the bottom of the pan to the surface! Do any of these thoughts ever cross your mind?

• Don’t touch that grocery budget! Or you’ll pay for it with no snacks—I’m warning you!
• I know I should track what I spend, but ignorance is bliss. Aren’t I so much more fun when I’m blissful?
• Honey, when I combine coupons with close-outs, it’s almost like the stores are giving US money!
• I just can’t understand all that financial gobbledy-gook. All my brain cells have been recalibrated to communicate with pre-schoolers.

Whether you are a whiz with numbers or not, you are a crucial part of the financial team of your home. Ladies, let’s embrace OUR responsibilities to work with our husbands in wise management of our family money and support them as they seek to lead and honor God in budgeting and financial decisions.

What Will We Leave the Kids?

We’re going to be taking some time this week on the Family Life Blog to focus on themes around our two week series on finances entitled “Money Crunch”.

To kick off our week there’s no one better to get you thinking outside the typical money management box than our long-time friend Randy Alcorn, author of “Money, Possessions and Eternity”, and founder and director of Eternal Perspectives Ministries. Here are his thoughts on the commonly accepted financial strategy of building up an inheritance for our children after we’re gone, quoted from “The Treasure Principle”.

"What about our children?" you may ask. "Aren't we supposed to leave them all our money?” The answer is no.

Nanci and I will leave to our daughters only enough to be of modest assistance, but not enough to change their lifestyles or undercut their need to plan and pray with and depend on their husbands. We've communicated this, and they understand and agree with our plan to give most of our estate to God's kingdom.

Leaving a large inheritance to children is not just a missed opportunity to invest in God's kingdom. It's also rarely in the children's best interests.

I've heard countless inheritance horror stories over the years. Study the lives of people who have inherited significant wealth and you'll find that in the vast majority of cases, it's made them more unhappy, greedy, and cynical. Who needs to work hard when you've got all that money? Money funds new temptations, including addictions. Giving money to a careless spender is throwing gasoline on a fire. And nothing divides siblings more quickly than a large inheritance. Leaving more to God's kingdom and less to financially independent children is not just an act of love toward God, but toward them.

In Old Testament times, leaving an inheritance was critical, because children couldn't afford to buy their own land and could end up enslaved or unable to care for their parents. But today, inheritances are often windfalls coming to people who are financially independent and already have more than they need.

Andrew Carnegie said, "The almighty dollar bequeathed to a child is an almighty curse. No man has the right to handicap his son with such a burden as great wealth."

Your children should love the Lord, work hard, and experience the joy of trusting God. More important than leaving your children an inheritance is leaving them a spiritual heritage.

Let God decide how much to provide for your adult children. Once they're on their own, the money you've generated under God's provision doesn't belong to your children--it belongs to Him. After all, if your money manager died, what would you think if he left all your money to his children? [Pages 69-71]

What do I do with a rebellious child?

One quick note, the "Happy Mothers Day" video which was shown during the service on Mothers Day can now be viewed on our web site or by clicking here.

Jared’s testimony this two Sundays ago brought encouragement to parents whose children are rebelling against the Lord, refusing to repent of their sins. As Jared shared about the depth of his sin and God’s amazing rescue, parents of wayward children gathered hope from the power of God to reach down and rescue Jared. Even more astounding was God’s call upon him to serve in pastoral ministry and redeem the intellect once used in service to the enemy for the building of the church.

Through the years I’ve walked with parents of wayward sons and daughters through much agony and despair. I’ve watched and learned from those who have done well, and learned lessons from others whose approach seemed to further drive a wedge between them and their children. One thing I’ve learned, and Jared’s story reminds us of, is that we should never lose hope. The following are some observations I’ve drawn from my pastoral experience that might help you if this is the trial you face.

Effective parents of wayward children tended to exhibit the following:

1. They prayed. All parents should daily pray for the salvation of their children even if their prayers last decades. God is the one who draws us to himself. God is the one who saves and if we can seemingly do nothing else, we can pray – confident that God hears and responds.

2. They never stopped loving their children. The temptation is to cut children off or withhold blessing and affection so as not to “endorse their behavior.” Sure, we don’t want to enable them in their sins, but effective parents of rebellious children through the years have blown me away with an outpouring of affection upon their children. Don’t expect unbelieving children to live like born again believers. Bless them more on birthdays, if they’ve left home, invite them to non-church events, follow their lives and encourage them in their pursuits.

3. They remained aware of their own sinfulness. Don’t loose sight of how it took a work of God’s grace in your own life to save you from your sin. Self-righteousness toward a rebellious child never communicates true love. Instead, humility keeps a parent more aware of God’s grace than ever. As parents, we can’t take credit for our righteous living, and then look down upon our children as though they should know better. We have been saved by grace and transformed by grace. Our personal confessions of weakness before our children are the most effective way to communicate the Gospel and a shared need for the saving work of Jesus on the cross.

4. They never compromised truth. – A sturdy bridge of humility, prayer, and love will allow us to humbly bring the truth of God. Parents who lovingly corrected their wayward children did not give into the fear that truth would drive their children further away. The Bible is clear; truth is what sets us free. If truth, brought in love, drives your children further away, we must trust that response to our sovereign God who authored the truth we share, and who can melt the coldest heart.

If you have a teen who seems to be on a road headed away from God, prayerfully consider these thoughts, and may the Lord return your prodigal home.

You can listen to Jared’s testimony here

Father and Son Camping Trip

Hi Dads – The Family Life Team is putting together a Father/Son Camping Trip for July. Details are below. But before you check it out, let me set the mood with a little camping joke.

A dad and his son went on their first camping trip together. After they got all their stuff set up, they enjoyed a great time around the camp fire then bedded down for the night. Later in the night the slumbering dad was awakened by his son.

“Dad, when you look up what do you see?” Groggily, the dad replied, “I see millions of stars.”

“So Dad, looking at all these stars, what’s it all mean?

Seizing the moment, the Dad laid back and pondered before he spoke. “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets. Chronologically, it appears to be just about midnight. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. But most important, theologically, it tells us that the Lord is great and mighty and that he must be a loving God to be so good to such small and relatively insignificant creatures like us. What does it tell you, son?”

“Well Dad,” the boy replied. “I’m no outdoorsman, but I think it tells me that somebody has stolen our tent.”

Now let’s unpack the details.

Father & Son Camping Trip

All fathers and their sons (ages 10 to 21) are invited to our father & son overnight camping trip.

Where we are going
The camping trip will take place at the Gifford Pinchot State Park located near York, PA.

When we are going
We will depart from Covenant Fellowship church at 12:00 p.m. on Friday, July 18 and will return around 8:00 p.m. on Saturday, July 19.

Who can come?
Any father and son(s) ages 10 to 21 who attend Covenant Fellowship can participate in the camping trip.


What are we doing?
Beside camping, we'll be doing games together, benefiting from teaching from the family life pastors, having time together just fathers and sons, and making great memories. You can view the basic schedule here.

What Do I need to bring?
Each father/son is responsible for their own camping gear and food. The camping is tent camping only, no trailers are allowed. We've created a suggested packing list to make it easy to pack.

Are we car pooling?
No car pooling will be organized through the church, but we encourage fathers & sons to hook up with other fathers and sons who are attending and ride together to benefit from the fellowship during the trip. You will need to plan to arrive at 2:00 p.m. Those who wish to participate in a caravan may do so by meeting at the church. We will depart from the church at 12:00 p.m.

How can I go & what will it cost me?
The cost for registration and the camp site is free, but you'll want to bring cash for activities. We do need to know who is attending so we can register with the camp. Please complete the Registration Form on or before June 30.

Not Your Ordinary Empty Nest

Jill and I are in the midst of planning the wedding for our daughter Traci, the third of three weddings in the last 19 months. Can you say 100 meter sprint in 10 seconds flat? These last 19 months have been a joyous time around the Prater house. The months have also provided some wonderful times of reflection for Jill and me as well. As we’ve pondered marrying off our last daughter, we realize that we are entering into what our culture calls the “empty nest” years. In many ways the term “empty nest” is accurate, for in fact it will be empty around our house much of the time. But as Jill and I talk and pray about this next season of our lives, it seems “empty nest” doesn’t quite fit. You see, as we look at the years that lie ahead we desire to finish the race in a similar way that Moses did. At his funeral, after living 120 years, this is what was said about him: “His eye was undimmed, and his vigor unabated.” (Deut.34:7).

Jill and I have been talking and praying about what it might look like to finish our lives together with our eye for God’s glory undimmed and our vigor to serve Him unabated. I’m not sure we know exactly what that looks like yet, however, we don’t think that the years that lie ahead will be “empty.” We do know there is yet so much more that we are called to do. As first generation Christian parents we still want to fulfill our responsibility to be part of the discipleship of our grown, married children. As first generation grandparents we can’t wait to tell our grandkids about the gospel and the glorious life of following and delighting in Jesus Christ. Our prayer is that as God gives us love for Christ that grows in the ensuing years, and our lives would make the Savior more attractive to our unregenerate grandchildren. We’ve only influenced one generation for Christ and there is another on the way that we want to affect before the Lord calls us home.

This applies not only to our natural family; it applies to our church family as well. At Covenant Fellowship, there are two, and if the Lord gives us long life, three generations we are called to yet disciple, encourage and influence for Christ. What does that look like? Again, I’m not fully sure yet. However, it does seem that is marked by a people in my age group and older whose passion for Jesus is not only “undimmed,” and “unabated,” but impacts, effects and stirs the next generation or two to be passionate for Christ as well.

Oh, there is yet so much yet for us to do. The years that lie ahead are far from empty. That’s why I don’t think “empty nest” is the term that defines the next season for Jill and me. We wonder if terms like “undimmed” and “unabated vigor” might more accurately portray what God has for us. Would you pray for Jill and me? Like you, we want to finish well. Would you also join us? Someday we’ll all be empty nesters, but we never have to live empty lives. There is just too much left to do!

What Style Are You?

I have to admit, when I heard that we were going to do the Proclaim Course in our community group, I was less than excited. As a matter of fact - I dreaded it. It's not that I'm anti-evangelism, though I wouldn't consider myself good at it by any means, but I felt like, ‘I’ve heard it all… what more could they possibly tell us about evangelism? It's one of those things that you just have to do… right?’.

During the second week of Proclaim, there was a survey that we were asked to complete. We were to rate ourselves on a scale from 0 to 3 on various questions that would reveal our evangelism style. When the numbers were tallied up, my "style" was decidedly "invitational" and "relational." Though I wasn't surprised by the results, something clicked in my mind. Here I was exerting all the evangelistic energy I had into trying to be "direct" and "intellectual" (my 2 weakest areas). I always felt like a failure if I couldn't get right to the point with my neighbor about the gospel or argue decisively with someone I was sitting with at a sporting event. Ok, Proclaim, you actually did have something to teach me.

But the dread came upon me again before the next Proclaim week. Yes, I learned something in week 2 – but I still didn't look forward to week 3. During that week's session we were asked to write down the names of people whom we know now, that we used to know, and that we could know, and then come up with a plan in how we could reach out to them. I took out my little notebook and obediently began writing down names of people in each of those categories and beside the names a plan.

All of the sudden I started to feel excited about reaching these people using a style that I was comfortable with. Putting a few of those plans into action, I asked a couple at the YMCA that we knew if they would like to come to Alpha. When they said no, that they were too busy, I found myself in a conversation with them along with Stephanie, one of my "direct, intellectual evangelism style" Christian friends. She kept the conversation going – I handed out the "How Good are You?" tracts. I went into the gym and asked my daughter's gymnastics coach if she had ever heard of Alpha (invitational again). And she responded that she did know of Alpha, and she had always wanted to go.

So my daughter's gymnastics coach is currently attending Alpha with me. But even more, invitational evangelism fervor is spreading around the Demi house. One of our 15-year-old neighbor boys is attending Alpha with my sons. During the second night of Alpha, that young man accepted Jesus as His Savior and is now sharing the Good News with his parents.

I didn't do any "heroic" evangelism, but by following through with some simple, doable plans that I wrote down on that Proclaim night; God in His kindness used me in His redemptive plan. Whatever your evangelistic style, take a step of faith and trust God that He can use you, too. As Jim Donohue said in the Proclaim video, "We're all gifted for evangelism."

It's been so much fun being in the midst of God's redemptive plan unfolding. It is amazing how one small act of obedience (asking someone to Alpha) prompted by the Holy Spirit working through a Proclaim night, set a whole plan in action that was designed before the world began. And more amazingly, my family and I have been ‘invited’ to be part of the process.

As a Little Child?

In my devotions I’m reading through “Faith and Life”, a collection of devotional talks for students collected from the writings of B. B. Warfield, the great theologian of Old Princeton in the 19^th Century. In an entry called “Childlikeness”, Warfield gives his thoughts on Jesus’ words in Mark 10:15

Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it."

He begins by offering ideas about what Jesus may mean by inferring that those who are to receive the Kingdom must be like a little child.

• Does Jesus mean that only children can enter the Kingdom? Clearly no – Jesus is preaching to the crowds, not to the children.
• Does Jesus mean that only those who are innocent like children may enter the Kingdom? No again – ‘there is nothing clearer than that Jesus’ mission was specifically to those who were not innocent’.
• Does Jesus mean that only those who are humble like little children can enter the Kingdom? No again – ‘If (these children) were like other children of their age, they were probably, as far as they showed moral characteristics at all, little egotists’.

He then gives what he thinks Jesus is getting at:

“Trust, simple, utter trust, that is the pathway to the Kingdom… What our Lord would seem to say then…is that the Kingdom of Heaven is made up of those who are helplessly dependent on the King of the Heavens. And when He adds that only those who “receive” the Kingdom like a child can enter into it, He seems to mean that the children of the Kingdom come into it like children of the world come into the world – naked and stripped of everything, infants who are to be done for, who can not do for themselves.” (76; 78)

Are you sensing that you ‘can not do for yourself’? Congratulations, you have been ‘done for’. The Kingdom of God is at hand for you.

Happy Mother's Day

The following post comes from some thoughts I shared with the church on Mothers Day 2000. May they bless the Moms who so bless the Savior!

About a week and a half ago, my mother’s mother passed away. She had been in failing health and so it wasn’t surprising that the Lord would take her. It was my privilege to fly to Gastonia, NC to be with my mother as she said goodbye to hers.

My mother had been the primary caretaker for my grandmother in the last year of her life – welcoming her into her home to give her the round the clock attention she needed. She had done the same thing with my father’s mother a few years before. So it was both an honor and a pleasure to be with her in this time.

As I was leaving the day after the funeral, my mom took a few small porcelain dolls that had been among her mother’s heirlooms. She wrapped them and put them in my bag. Knowing from the last time she stayed with us that we are short of table spoons, she also took some of her mother’s table spoons and told me to give them to Jill.

On the flight home a thought occurred to me. At a time when she was only beginning to sort out life without her mother in this world, my mom’s thoughts turned to her daughter in law and her grandchildren.

The thing I have pondered since then is the old saying, “A mother’s work is never done.”. We usually apply that to the 30 hour days moms put in. But this experience has taught me that a mother’s work lasts a lifetime – it is as much a way of life as it is about the tasks of raising children.

I see this in my wife as well. When you enter our home, you enter the mothering zone. In the mothering zone, your needs are anticipated, your messes are cleaned up, your booboos are given lavish attention, and hugs abound. Jill couldn’t do otherwise if she tried. And like all moms, her mothering zone is mobile, it goes where she goes.

When I see the moms in this church, that’s what I see. Mobile mothering zones extending throughout the community – enveloping anyone who happens to get close enough for a good mothering to take place. I see it in the way moms in this church treat all kids like their kids. I see it in the way moms serve in Alpha. I’ve seen it in the past few months in the way moms have descended on brides- to-be leading up to weddings. I’ve seen it in the way moms intercede in prayer for this church and its mission.

Mothering is not just a job, or even a calling. It is those things, but it is also a grace, a divine gift to do and be something that cuts against the grain of comfort, self interest, and visible reward. But like the work of motherhood, the grace the grace of motherhood doesn’t end.

The apostle Paul said to the Corinthians, “I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus.”.

On this Mother’s day, we as a church want to do the same thing.

· We want to thank God FOR YOU – for the means of grace you are in our lives.

· We also want to thank God WITH YOU – for the grace he has given you for the task. It is and always will be all of grace.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY FROM YOUR FAMILY LIFE TEAM!

Don't Know Much About Encouragement

Pastoral note: Here’s another one of our regular guy bloggers – Tim Ashford:

“Unveiling grace.” Kind of takes your breath away, like standing at the altar, about to see your bride. I remember CJ saying recently though, that pointing out sin is a lot easier that unveiling grace. That was reassuring to me, since I’m obviously not alone in the battle. Speaking of my bride, she’s told me over the years that I need to grow in unveiling grace, although she would call it offering encouragement. Let me tell you one time it was so bad that it was humorous.

Susan and I had planned to talk about how homeschooling is going. It was maybe four months into the school year. She comes to the table all prepared, giving thoughtful details on each subject, and insight into the progress of the kids. So, did I jump at the opportunity to lavish her with thanks for her regular sacrifices? Did I highlight the many examples right from our conversation where God was active in her care and perseverance? Nope. I got right down to the important task of quality control. I mentioned an area of concern for the future. It wasn’t anything that she currently struggled with; at least that I could see. But I just felt the need to make sure she was not resting on her laurels – that she needed to be on her toes in this important family business.

What was her reaction? Well, it was like Charlie Brown when he misses the ball for the 11^th time. His head just droops. She actually went into another room, put her head against the wall, and cried. There’s a picture for you. Now, Susan is amazingly gracious, so much so that we were laughing about it within a half hour, and have ever since. But it was just one more thing to make me aware of the vital need of encouragement for a wife and mother. Anybody can point to problems – as her husband I’m in the most strategic place to point out grace.

Here’s one thing I’ve tried lately: Take notes. I created a simple area on my computer where I write stuff down when it is fresh. As soon as I see a specific example of where God is active in her life, I can go there and write it down. Then I can take these thoughts home with me and share them with her. Once, I came to her after she’d had a rough day when she was less aware of God and his grace, and I took what I had written down up to that point, and recounted each example. This time she responded more like Snoopy doing a jig than Charlie Brown. Now what I need to do is keep my list up to date, and keep the examples coming her way. The more I think about it, the more I realize that there is so much grace in my wife to unveil. And I’m just the man to do it.

Expelled – On a Date?

On a recent Monday Lois and I were scheduled to go on a date. We had not been to a movie in a while and I was aware that “Expelled - No Intelligence Allowed” was playing at local theaters. Given that it was a documentary I thought it would be a good idea to ask Lois if she was interested. Given the fact that it was about the less than romantic topic of how the academic community rejects even the mention of Intelligent Design by scientists, faculty, and the press, I REALLY thought it wise to ask Lois if she would be interested in this as a date idea. Before I could even give the movie title she suggested we go out to see a movie called…. “Expelled”. Needless to say, I was surprised. Of course, I complemented her on her suggestion.

She had read Carolyn McCulley’s blog Radical Womanhood and wanted to support the movie. The movie presented a chilling look inside the workings of the scientific establishment and their not so subtle bias for evolution against creationism and intelligent design.

The resulting conversation was some of the most intellectually stimulating conversation we’ve had over the past season. It is so easy on our dates to get caught up in ‘here and now’ conversations about kids, church, schedules, house projects. This movie made us think and talk with each other about BIG ideas and important things – something that can seem to get lost in the parenting years.

While it is still in the theaters I thought I would pass on our not so typical date night. Maybe a good conversations over BIG ideas and important things is just what your marriage needs.

I’d also suggest you consider taking your teenage children as well – after the date. If I don’t take my teens to see it, I will rent it when it comes out on DVD and show it to them and discuss it as a family. We can all use some BIG idea and important things conversation.

GOLIATH….and me

And the Philistines stood on the mountain on the one side, and Israel stood on the mountain on the other side, with a valley between them. And there came out from the camp of the Philistines a champion named Goliath of Gath, whose height was six cubits and a span… (1 Samuel 17:3-4).

Through the years the word “evangelism” has evoked a picture in my mind which looks a lot like the passage above: me, standing poorly armed before the opposing army who has just set their biggest champion against me. But unlike David, who expressed confidence his God, I have tended to respond more like the army of Israel when they eyed the size of their foe and “were dismayed and greatly afraid.”

As our community group has participated in the Proclaim Course, I have been affected by the teaching, even provoked. OK, I’ll admit it…I have been convicted. Though I occasionally share the Gospel, I seldom allow the Lord to take me out of my comfort zone. “I’ll let my life shine for the Lord and be ready to give an account of the hope I have in Christ,” I can argue. So I do yard work, go to the grocery store, go to my son’s soccer practice, to the pediatrician, and even to the dentist with a smile on my face looking for ways to let my life reflect the hope of the Gospel. These are all good things, but what if folks don’t ask for an account of my hope? I am realizing how much fear and unbelief have kept me from taking advantage of whatever opportunity the Lord might provide. I see the unbeliever much like Goliath, and he looms large in my eyes, instead of seeing the God of the Gospel who stands greater than ANY possible opposing force.

Freshly aware of God’s call in evangelism, at a recent extended family gathering I prayed that the Lord would provide specific opportunities for the Gospel. I asked him for boldness and greater heart for the lost. I was amazed at how many opportunities the Lord provided. Folks were much more open to talking about spiritual things than I would have thought, and they were affected by my interest in their lives. No one was radically converted, but I have opportunity to continue to building these relationships for the sake of the Gospel.

God promises to give us power for the work He has commanded, and he is bigger than the Goliath of our fear! As we complete the Proclaim Course, let’s ask the Lord for opportunities and strength to be faithful messengers of the Gospel, and see what He will do.

And when they had prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness. (Acts 4:31)

Expelling Worldliness With a New Affection

Remember how your early days of faith included deep passion to turn from your former ways and live for Jesus? This is great advice from Sinclair Ferguson on how to cultivate that same passion in every season of your Christian life.

“How can we recover the new affection for Christ and his kingdom that so powerfully impacted our life-long worldliness, and in which we crucified the flesh with its lusts?

What was it that created that first love in any case? Do you remember? It was our discovery of Christ’s grace in the realization of our own sin. We are not naturally capable of loving God for himself, indeed we hate him. But in discovering this about ourselves, and in learning of the Lord’s supernatural love for us, love for the Father was born. Forgiven much, we loved much. We rejoiced in the hope of glory, in suffering, even in God himself. This new affection seemed first to overtake our worldliness, then to master it. Spiritual realities—Christ, grace, Scripture, prayer, fellowship, service, living for the glory of God—filled our vision and seemed so large, so desirable that other things by comparison seemed to shrink in size and become bland to the taste.

The way in which we maintain ‘the expulsive power of a new affection’ is the same as the way we first discovered it. Only when grace is still ‘amazing’ to us does it retain its power in us. Only as we retain a sense of our own profound sinfulness can we retain a sense of the graciousness of grace.

- Sinclair Ferguson “Expelling Worldliness with a New Affection”

Taken From http://firstimportance.org/2008/04/12/the-amazing-graciousness-of-grace.

Parenting Teens and the Fear of Man

(Note: some content in this post wouldn’t be appropriate for a child reading over your shoulder)

Recently, one of my children asked if they could attend a movie and suggested I go to Plugged in On Line and take a look at it. There was some significant momentum generated by a group of teens to go that same day. As a parent I could feel the tug of wanting to allow my kids to attend. I knew that if I said no, my teen might be judged for my decision. The fear of man, specifically wanting to not be the “strict parent” was pressing in on me. We looked up the movie and this is what I read in the sexual content description of this PG-13 movie:

“Before being zapped to China, Jason talks with a few girls who wear revealing tops. It appears as if he and the beggar accidentally stumble into a brothel of some kind, filled with loads of courtesans and a handful of customers (all of whom are fully clad). One plump customer has his face stroked by two of the girls. Audiences also see dancers in midriff-baring tube tops.

The Jade Warlord leers at, and strokes the faces of, two obviously fearful women. It's pretty clear he'll force himself upon them when he has the time, though this is never explicitly stated.

Old Hop makes a sly reference to masturbation.”

Now maybe you’re looking at the above description thinking, “I would never approve of that kind of a movie.” But, to be honest, I really struggled with what to do. It wasn’t that I couldn’t figure out if the above content was godly, it certainly was not. My struggle came in discerning if there was any way I could squeak this movie by. I don’t want to be the ‘the Uncool-Dad’, or the “No-Fun-Dad”, or the “Dad-who-treats-his-teens-like-they’re-toddlers-Dad”. But, more importantly, I don’t want to be the “Dad-who-is-motivated-by-what-others-think-and-doesn’t-operate-out-of-wise-convictions-Dad”. In the end I said no. Thankfully, God’s grace helped me not to be motivated by what I realized was the fear of man. I did get schooled as to the weakness of my heart and just how difficult it can be to parent teens.

Here are a few questions for us to consider in those moments.

· Is this a movie I would recommend to others as a family movie? (If not, why not?)

· Is this a movie I would have suggested to my children far apart from their asking me?

· Do I feel pressured to make a decision? (If so should I get input from others?)

· Am I aware of what others are going to think about this decision and how much is that influencing my decision?

Finally, look for alternatives that are acceptable and if your teen responds well to a “no” answer from you, celebrate their respectful response with the rest of your family as a true evidence of God’s grace at work in their life.

Can You Dig It?

Guys, we’re creatures of habit. If we find something that works, we tend to assume it will always work, don’t we? Check out this story.

A guy stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his soda and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soda and went on down the road.

"I can't stand this," said the man tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men.

"Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?"

"Well, we work for the county," one of the men said.

"But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the county's money?"

"You don't understand, mister," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally, there's three of us -- me, Ralph and Mike. I dig the hole, Ralph sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back. Now just because Ralph's sick, that don't mean that Mike and me can't work."

A wise man evaluates his habits in life. We offer Vital Life Classes to help you think through stuff that matters so that you can work life smarter, not just harder. Our next Vital Life happens this Saturday morning. We’ve got classes on how to get wisdom from the book of Proverbs, how to handle unexpected turns in life, and how to choose education options for our kids. You can register on line… Learn to work life smarter.

Can you dig it?