Wives, Moms, and Money

As of January, Jim and I are official Financial Peace University converts, which means several things: we have financial peace, we carry around big wads of cash to the delight of future muggers, and we eat Cheerios the last three days of each month to stay on our budget.

Taking the course has helped us think through financial issues that we thought we’d thought through. (Say that three times fast.) It’s taught us to wisely invest the resources that God has given us instead of squandering them by uninformed decision-making. Throughout the course I’ve found Jim hovering over his laptop, eyes glazed, studying a sea of numbers, which to me is the height of marital martyrdom; since just glancing at a budgeting program on the computer gives me hives, nausea, dizziness, and brain paralysis.

I never intended to be the financially illiterate marriage partner, in fact I sometimes fight it by forcing myself to ask really hard questions like, “Where is our money again?” I blame it partly on heredity, and partly on the fact that I presume Jim is the one who actually makes the major decisions on our financial commitments. But is that really the case?

Think about this. When our husbands are writing checks, what are they paying for? Mortgage. Utilities. Insurance. Car maintenance. Yes these are the big ticket items in our monthly budget. But generally they’re essential – they have to be paid (I’ve learned that these things are called ‘fixed expenses’). But Jim actually spends relatively little money week to week. Ladies, we are the spenders! We are the ones making daily choices on whether or not to spend money. We are often the controllers of what I understand is called ‘discretionary spending’, which means spending that doesn’t have to happen at a moment in time. And it’s this kind of spending that can make the difference in any month on whether we meet the budget or not. Yikes!

Whether purchasing groceries, gifts, clothes, or furniture, wise home managers have to think about money. And money affects us—materially, emotionally, and even spiritually. It can produce feelings of stability, anxiety, and everything in between. That’s why the idea of messing with it always comes with a bit of trepidation. But as any cook knows, stirring things up often brings what’s on the bottom of the pan to the surface! Do any of these thoughts ever cross your mind?

• Don’t touch that grocery budget! Or you’ll pay for it with no snacks—I’m warning you!
• I know I should track what I spend, but ignorance is bliss. Aren’t I so much more fun when I’m blissful?
• Honey, when I combine coupons with close-outs, it’s almost like the stores are giving US money!
• I just can’t understand all that financial gobbledy-gook. All my brain cells have been recalibrated to communicate with pre-schoolers.

Whether you are a whiz with numbers or not, you are a crucial part of the financial team of your home. Ladies, let’s embrace OUR responsibilities to work with our husbands in wise management of our family money and support them as they seek to lead and honor God in budgeting and financial decisions.