Are You a Joy to Lead?

Recently I've "discovered" that sometimes I'm not an easy wife for my husband to lead. Just a couple weeks ago, Jeff had a creative idea for our date night. Excitedly, he explained what he wanted to do together. I didn't like the idea - to me it sounded tiring and boring. And to my shame, I instantly opposed it. I didn't thank him for trying to be creative or express any gratitude for his commitment to a weekly date night. Instead I criticized his idea, leaving him feeling deflated, and me discouraged.

I know however, as wives, most of us really do want our husbands to lead. We may even get discouraged when they're not leading. We like it when they plan our date nights, lead family devotions, plan vacations, and initiate home projects. I have loved the times that Jeff surprised me by taking me away for an anniversary or initiated times to review our family schedule. Yet, as much as we want them to lead, how often do we find ourselves fighting against how they are leading. We may even wonder why they're not leading more; unaware that we are part of the reason it is it difficult for them.

So how do we fight against this tendency?

One way is to get behind them in the areas where they are leading. Here are a few recent examples. Jeff desires to lead our family in devotions after dinner. I can support his leadership by creating meals that bring the family together, by being the most enthusiastic participant, and by encouraging him that what he is doing is valuable as he fights against the pressing demands of the evening.

Another area where Jeff desires to lead us as a couple is in praying together at night before we go to sleep. Even though it is his desire for this to happen, there are times where he inadvertently forgets. He has asked me to remind him when this happens. So instead of "forgetting" with him, I can encourage him by reminding him. And instead of giving into the temptation of complaining about how tired I am, I can smile and say, "Good idea!"

Jeff also leads us in how much media we allow into our home. Knowing that he wants to limit the amount of TV and videos that our kids watch, I can support him when he's not home by not giving into the pressure from my kids to turn on the TV.

So where is your husband leading you and your family? Encourage his initiatives, even when you would like them to be expressed in different ways. Tune in to how you respond to his ideas. And be your husband's biggest cheerleader. May we be wives who are a joy to lead!