Faith and Mercy

Editor’s Note: On January 24th, Brian Vander Weide preached a message called Pay Attention to What You Hear from Mark 4:21-25. The following post is a summary of The Extra Point that followed…a time designed specifically for parents to help their teens process the preached Word. The audio for both the message and the extra point can be found at here.

We love our children. We would do anything for them. And we want the best for them.

We love God. We would do anything for Him. And we want so desperately for our children to know our God.

As good as this desire is, an overemphasis on this can lead to some real parenting challenges. Here are two worth considering.

Faith

Our love for both our God and our children can drive us to press for certainty that they truly know Him. We long to see fruit in their lives. We want them to pursue us for godly wisdom.

Yet, try as we might, we cannot make them see God. We cannot make them hear. We cannot make them pay attention and take action. Though we would love to, we can’t give them our faith…we can’t give them our sanctification. Those things are really between them and God.

God calls us to a place of faith. His love for our children exceeds ours. His commitment to our children exceeds ours. If He is the changer of lives and the saver of souls, then our trust must be in Him doing it…not us.

Are we still to parent? …to exhort? …to correct? Of course we are…we must. But we are to leave the results to God. We are to be faithful in our duties, in our prayers, in our love and commitment, but we are not to end up in a place of fear…but of faith.

An absence of faith will often drive us to interfere with God’s work in their lives. The must experience His conviction…not ours. Many walls have been built by well-intended parents who have overstepped their boundaries…into God’s jurisdiction. We want to be encouraging open conversation about spiritual matters. When we press in the absence of faith, we often shut down lines of communication.

That leads to the other challenge worth considering…

Mercy

Imagine a runner who is running as hard as he can. He is not the fastest nor the most fit, but he runs hard. Behind him is a coach on a bike, telling him to run harder, take longer strides, press more. The initial effect might pick up the pace, but after the continued yelling and criticizing, the runner will slow down…or stop running altogether. The coach has broken his will to run.

Without mercy guiding our parenting, we can fall into the same trap as this coach. We can define our role in their lives as yelling motivation into them. “Why aren’t you paying more attention?” “Why don’t you ever follow through on what we tell you?” But the goal is not to be the “fastest” runner, but to run as fast as we can.

It’s important to remember that our children are in process. Their walk may be sporadic…inconsistent. It may depend on the issue…or the day.

We shouldn’t excuse their sin…but we should understand it. God understands ours…and extends mercy upon mercy toward us. We now can extend that mercy to them.

We are parenting children in process. We can parent them from behind for times when they fall. We can parent them from in front by living and example for them to follow. We can parent them from the side as we show compassion as a fellow sinner. Our parenting ought to be a surrounding parenting…not a smothering one.

God will meet us with the faith and mercy that we need to give. He will meet our children who are in process. He will…he will…he will.