Judgment, Mercy, and Liberty

Editor’s Note: Last week, many couples enjoyed the regional marriage conference Marriage and the Mercy of God. The serve as the impetus for this blog entry. You can find the outstanding messages for free download here.


For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment. (James 2:13)

Mercy, judgment, and liberty. These three words serve as unlikely allies in this portion of James. Let’s discuss them in the order that we often confront them and see just how God weaves these together for His glorious purposes in our marriage.

Before judgment comes, we must first receive or perceive an offense. And so, one comes. A husband fails to fix the curtains in the bedroom…a wife fails to launder the right pair of pants. Perhaps a harsh word is spoken, a mean action taken, or silence resides where there ought to be speaking. In any case, we get offended.

Our initial reaction is first with judgment. He doesn’t love me enough…she doesn’t think of me enough. His words always hurt…her actions always sting. Judgment leads to anger, which leads to bitterness, which almost certainly leads to retaliating with overt sin or passive withdrawal. Judgment has run its course, and the end of the road is not very appealing.

Reach back with me, then, to our initial reaction. What if, rather than judgment, we responded with mercy. As we do, let’s agree on what mercy is:

Mercy is the kind, sympathetic, and forgiving treatment of others that works to relieve their distress and to cancel their debt. - Paul Tripp

Okay, we’ve just been offended. A husband leaves clothes on the floor…a wife throws away papers she was asked to save. We have the “right” to be offended…the facts are on our side and the judgment, if passed, would fall to our favor. Yet, we respond with mercy. We apply the kind, sympathetic, and forgiving treatment that seeks to relieve distress and cancel debt.

We avoid making conclusions and we overlook…we move on…we don’t harbor our wounded pride. Mercy leads to forgiveness, which leads to peace, which almost certainly leads to liberty…and there we are. Though we began the path with the same step…the offense…we ended up somewhere very different. Rather than retaliation or withdrawal, we end up at liberty…a far more appealing destination.

Could this be what James was getting at? Could this be the reason that mercy triumphs over judgment? Yes it could…but something is missing.

Before we choose between mercy or judgment, we all must first begin with remembering. We must remember the mercy that was poured out on us and the judgment that was poured out on Christ. We must remember that, in God’s economy, there is no contradiction between mercy and judgment.

In fact, in order to rescue us from our sin, judgment and mercy had to be poured out. Our sin judged on the sinless Savior and His righteousness bestowed in mercy on us.

It’s no wonder James precedes v13 with v12:

So speak and so act as those who are to be judged under the law of liberty.

Or, as John put it in his first epistle:

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:11)

As we remember, mercy will triumph over judgment. We get to give away to our spouse what we have received from our Savior…mercy.