Parenting Teens and the Fear of Man

(Note: some content in this post wouldn’t be appropriate for a child reading over your shoulder)

Recently, one of my children asked if they could attend a movie and suggested I go to Plugged in On Line and take a look at it. There was some significant momentum generated by a group of teens to go that same day. As a parent I could feel the tug of wanting to allow my kids to attend. I knew that if I said no, my teen might be judged for my decision. The fear of man, specifically wanting to not be the “strict parent” was pressing in on me. We looked up the movie and this is what I read in the sexual content description of this PG-13 movie:

“Before being zapped to China, Jason talks with a few girls who wear revealing tops. It appears as if he and the beggar accidentally stumble into a brothel of some kind, filled with loads of courtesans and a handful of customers (all of whom are fully clad). One plump customer has his face stroked by two of the girls. Audiences also see dancers in midriff-baring tube tops.

The Jade Warlord leers at, and strokes the faces of, two obviously fearful women. It's pretty clear he'll force himself upon them when he has the time, though this is never explicitly stated.

Old Hop makes a sly reference to masturbation.”

Now maybe you’re looking at the above description thinking, “I would never approve of that kind of a movie.” But, to be honest, I really struggled with what to do. It wasn’t that I couldn’t figure out if the above content was godly, it certainly was not. My struggle came in discerning if there was any way I could squeak this movie by. I don’t want to be the ‘the Uncool-Dad’, or the “No-Fun-Dad”, or the “Dad-who-treats-his-teens-like-they’re-toddlers-Dad”. But, more importantly, I don’t want to be the “Dad-who-is-motivated-by-what-others-think-and-doesn’t-operate-out-of-wise-convictions-Dad”. In the end I said no. Thankfully, God’s grace helped me not to be motivated by what I realized was the fear of man. I did get schooled as to the weakness of my heart and just how difficult it can be to parent teens.

Here are a few questions for us to consider in those moments.

· Is this a movie I would recommend to others as a family movie? (If not, why not?)

· Is this a movie I would have suggested to my children far apart from their asking me?

· Do I feel pressured to make a decision? (If so should I get input from others?)

· Am I aware of what others are going to think about this decision and how much is that influencing my decision?

Finally, look for alternatives that are acceptable and if your teen responds well to a “no” answer from you, celebrate their respectful response with the rest of your family as a true evidence of God’s grace at work in their life.