Our Worst Prayers are Still Prayers

I’ve been battling in my prayer life recently. I pray at night, and lately it seems like this blanket of fatigue descends over me the moment I get to my basement prayer area. Suddenly I can’t think straight, can’t even hardly stand up. I don’t dare close my eyes or I’ll wake up flopped over the couch at four in the morning. Now, mind you, I might have just finished doing any number of exciting things – it doesn’t matter. It seems the moment I set my mind to praying my basement becomes a chamber of slumber.

I’ve learned over the years to simply to battle through these seasons in faith. God has always been gracious to deliver me to a more robust daily prayer, but it can still be discouraging in the meantime. I’ve been greatly helped recently by the following thoughts of C. S. Lewis from his “Letters to Malcolm”.

I have a notion that what seem our worst prayers may really be, in God’s eyes, our best. Those, I mean, which are least supported by devotional feeling and contend with the greatest disinclination. For these, perhaps, being nearly all will, come from a deeper level than feeling. In feeling there is so much that is really not ours – so much that comes from weather and health or from the last book read. One thing seems certain. It is no good angling for the rich moments. God sometimes seems to speak to us most intimately when He catches us, as it were, off our guard. (116-117)

How true – our devotional feelings can come from a lot of non-devotional places. Devotion is the will at work before it is reward, but thank God devotion is ALWAYS rewarded!

Children Understand the Universe Before They Know There Is One

Children are born as learners. And we, as their parents, are their primary teachers. John Piper brings insight into this reality through the following post. He is working on a new book about marriage which includes some parenting thoughts as well, including this one.

The most fundamental task of a mother and father is to show God to the children. Children know their parents before they know God. This is a huge responsibility and should cause every parent to be desperate for God-like transformation. The children will have years of exposure to what the universe is like before they know there is a universe. They will experience the kind of authority there is in the universe and the kind of justice there is in the universe and the kind of love there is in the universe before they meet the God of authority and justice and love who created the rules of the universe. Children are absorbing from dad his strength and leadership and protection and justice and love; and they are absorbing from mother her care and nurture and warmth and intimacy and justice and love—and, of course, all these overlap.

And all this is happening before the child knows anything about God, but it is profoundly all about God. Will the child be able to recognize God for who he really is in his authority and love and justice because mom and dad have together shown the child what God is like. The chief task of parenting is to know God for who he is in his many attributes, and then to live in such a way with our children that we help them see and know this multi-faceted God. And, of course, that will involve directing them always to the infallible portrait of God in the Bible.

Croc Attack

Title: Husband Saves Wife from Hungry Croc

A headline like this always captures my attention, but I’m not sure which arouses more curiosity; a husband saving a wife, or a crocodile biting off more than he can chew.

I clicked the link to the BBC News report only to discover I had more questions. I’ll quote the BBC report in italics, followed by my ponderings.

A woman has been rescued from the jaws of a saltwater crocodile in Australia after her husband jumped onto its back and forced it to flee.

First of all, I’d never heard of saltwater crocodiles so I checked Wikipedia. Sure enough, saltwater crocs, called “Salties” in Australia, are the largest species of crocodiles. I guess that’s why the BBC writer included the fact. As an American of average intelligence, I would never know the difference between a “saltie” and a “freshie” – or why it would be in the lead line of the story. Now I know, and so do you.

The crocodile lunged at its victim as she stood on the banks of a river, locking its jaws around her legs before trying to drag her into the water.

I’d never heard of saltwater rivers either, so I assumed this kind of animal is bi-aquatic, if that’s even a word. (I’m not making light of this woman’s experience, I already knew from the headline she was rescued!)

Wendy Petherick shouted to her husband Norm who told reporters he acted instinctively.

Gentlemen, there is a lesson here for us. We are designed by our Maker to protect our wives. We were wired to put Ephesians 5:28 in action. What seems natural – passivity – is not. Passivity is a choice. This should influence how we relate to our wives. Our ‘instinct’ to lay down on lives is another reflection of the God who created us and laid down his life for us. It’s another way we image Him. Way to go, Norm!

“I acted quickly, just jumped on top of it, and looked for the eyes. I found them, and poked its eyes, and that’s when it released her, I think.”

We studied sharks in 3^rd grade and were told if we were ever bitten by a shark, we should punch it in the nose. (I’m not sure why they were teaching 3^rd graders in Nevada how to survive shark attacks.) I immediately wondered if they teach 3^rd graders in Australia’s Northern Territory about poking salties in the eyes.

Police have said the heroism of her husband almost certainly saved her.

“Almost certainly?” Why are they holding back? What do the police have against Norm that they aren’t given him his props? The saltie had Wendy in its mouth! I think this local law enforcer needs to go out on a limb and say, “Yep, he certainly saved her.”

Guys, when your wife calls your name, may you instinctively jump into hero-rescue mode. Cultivate it now so you can use it next time your wife encounters a saltie.

Are you Loving your Spouse Well?

Sometimes the difference between simply doing something and doing it well is asking the right person. Marriage can function like this. Sometimes, in our efforts to bless and serve our spouse, we forget to ask the right person how best to do this. Who is the right person? Well, sometimes, it’s our spouse. Debbie Demi discovered this recently below, she shares her story and the lessons she learned.

Even after 23 years of marriage, I'm still trying to figure out how to love my husband. I was caught off guard the other day when Jeff asked me what I would say to a younger woman about how to love her husband. (He had just finished reading Titus.) I have to admit, I didn't have an answer on the tip of my tongue.

My flesh wanted to say that loving your husband means doing his laundry, cooking his dinners, and caring for the home. But deep down inside, I knew that wasn't the only way that my husband wanted to be loved by me. Sure, he appreciates those things, but what really makes him feel loved are things beyond the “everyday-taking-care-of-business” kind of love.

Lately I've been aware of the fact that I've settled into the comfortable, routine type of love toward my husband. Yes, I'm in a busy season of life but I have been for a long time and will be still for a while. I also know that after my relationship with the Lord, Jeff should come next. Too often, though, he comes after the kids, housework, checking e-mail, and sleep. Unaware and unintentionally, I've allowed lesser things to come before him.

So, I asked Jeff the same question, "What would you say to a woman about how to love her husband?" (Knowing, of course, that his answer would be for me.) His response began, "In your circumstances right now, what would your husband interpret as love?" This might mean unexpectedly touching him physically, spontaneously saying "I love you," thinking of things we could do together, or responding enthusiastically to his initiatives.

His answers didn’t surprise me. But I realized that, for him to feel this kind of love, I would have to be purposeful with my time. Occasionally, I would have to pull away from what I’m doing and think about how to love him outside of my everyday tasks.

Just knowing what makes him feel loved gives me a place to start. I want to rightly order my priorities not only in theory, but in practice as well. And I've found that thinking about how to love him not only pleases God, but helps me feel more affection for him.

So how about you? In your circumstances right now, what would your husband interpret as love? Why not ask him? You may be surprised to find that it might not be scrubbing the kitchen floor.

"… Train the younger women to love their husbands …" Titus 2:4

What am I waiting for?

I recently spent some time at a country collectibles show browsing through a series of hand-painted wooden plaques with those cute little saying on them. One of them caught my attention—not with the usual chuckle over the cleverness of the quip. But rather with that still and quiet “ouch” you feel when a word of wisdom rings all too true in your own heart. It read, “I have nothing to complain about… but I still do it sometimes.”

Now, I can tend to think that I am a pretty contented person. I don’t mind hard work, I have a pretty high pain tolerance, and it takes a lot to rouse my anger. But this conviction was far more subtle. Though I may not utter words of complaint, I can many times have a heart of complaint. I can grumble and complain subtly and silently over things in my life that are not to my liking—things like finding a mess in the room I’ve just cleaned or having to deal with a child over the same issue yet one more time. And I usually end up in self pity, which I can take out on my family with shortness and sullenness.

I’ve been rereading a book by Jeremiah Burroughs called The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment. In it he connects complaining to discontentment and draws attention to Psalm 62:5, “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence…” He says, “Not only must the tongue hold its peace; but the soul must be silent. Many may sit silently, refraining from discontented expressions, yet inwardly they are bursting with discontent” (p. 2). Attaining true contentment is not just a matter of the tongue; it is a matter of the heart.

And what my complaining heart really says is, “Lord, right now, the circumstances you have given me are not good enough for me.” But this verse in Psalm 62 begs the question, am I waiting for God? If not, what am I waiting for? If I am waiting for a house that’s always clean, a child who always obeys, or others to appreciate my efforts, I’m waiting in vain; even if they happen, they won’t satisfy.

The kind of contentment that quiets the soul comes as we wait for the Lord. As I remember his priceless work on the cross, consider his mercy and grace, and meditate on his goodness, he floods my heart with peace and he satisfies my soul. Though my circumstances may not change, God is always good and my heart is quieted as I make him my refuge by waiting for him.

What are you waiting for? “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” (Psalm 37:7)

A Stern Love?

Some great thoughts on God’s love to chew on from one of the classic books of the Twentieth Century – J. I. Packer’s Knowing God.

God’s love is stern, for it expresses holiness in the lover and seeks holiness for the beloved. Scripture does not allow us to suppose that because God is love we may look to him to confer happiness on people who will not seek holiness, or to shield his loved ones from trouble when he knows that they need trouble to further their sanctification.

God is love” is the complete truth about God so far as the Christian is concerned… Every single thing that happens to us expresses God’s love to us, and comes to us for the furthering of God’s purpose for us. Thus, so far as we are concerned, God is love to us—holy, omnipotent love—at every moment and in every event of every day’s life. Even when we cannot see the why and the wherefore of God’s dealings, we know that there is love in and behind them, and so we can rejoice always, even when, humanly speaking, things are going wrong. We know that the true story of our life, when known, will prove to be, as the hymn says, “mercy from first to last”—and we are content.

God’s love is an exercise of his goodness toward individual sinners whereby, having identified himself with their welfare, he has given his Son to be their Savior, and now brings them to know and enjoy him in a covenant relation.

J. I. Packer, Knowing God, 122-123

What’s Important in Parenting Teens

Recently in preparing a message for the youth I ran across a wonderful passage in C.J. Mahaney’s book entitled Humility True Greatness where he specifically addresses parents. To help us stay focused on what is most important in preparing our children for their future, C. J. shared the following:

“If you are a parent, I ask you to consider carefully your influence on your children and your responsibility for them. What are your ambitions for them? Almost all parents have ambitions for their children, but how many harbor ambitions for the children that are biblical?

Do your ambitions for your son or daughter include a certain vocation or certain level of education? Graduation from a certain college? Professional or athletic or artistic recognition? If so, let me ask this: Are any of these ambitions in line with true greatness as defined in Scripture?

And here’s a more important question: Are any of your ambitions for your child more important to you than their cultivation of humility and servanthood - the basis for true greatness as biblically defined? Are any of these ambitions more important to you than their learning to serve others for the glory of God? In other words, are you more interested in temporal recognition for you child than you are in his eternal reward?

Ultimately, that’s what parenting is mostly about - it’s about preparing our children for the final day. All parenting is ultimately a preparation for that day when your child will stand before the judgment seat of Christ and give an account” (pp. 157-159)

With fifteen year-old twins it is easy for me to start thinking about their higher education, jobs, career, future financial independence, etc. It is not that these are unimportant, but they can seem to call out for attention far more than servanthood, sacrifice and heavenly treasure. But as CJ points out, the call to worldly greatness is loud, but it is also potentially distracting to those pursing true greatness. To prepare our children for this world without an eye to the next is simply short sighted. We should not abandon a fervent pursuit of excellence in all we do or all we plan for our children. It’s just that worldly treasures and pursuits are never ends in themselves nor do they do much to lead our children toward true greatness.

Live Long and Prosper

A First time post from one of our regular guy bloggers; Bob Feldman. I know we just handed out cheese steaks to all the dads last Sunday, so this may seem ill timed. Don’t feel guilty if you’re reading this after inhaling a freebie cheese steak. Just consider it a reality check. And put that donut back. – The editors

Alright. I admit it. I am concerned that once you see the topic below you may check out. You may dismiss it with the thought, “Oh, give me a break, Bob. Relax. Go grab a burger and fries.” Well, let me jump right into the post, abandon my concern and trust that if the Holy Spirit is speaking to you, that you will find some benefit from this.

Subject: You. Topic: Your health. Don’t wander off, stay with me.

One of the items high on my list of daily activities is: “Avoid dropping dead!” This item has been a high priority for me ever since I was diagnosed with coronary artery disease three years ago. One of the ways I “avoid dropping dead” is to maintain my health as best as I reasonably can. I realize that most men want to be as healthy as possible however, living a healthy lifestyle is easier said than done. In many cases it’s not until we face a health crisis that we start to focus on our well being instead of stuffed crust pizza.

Take it from me; don’t wait until health problems confront you in an emergency room before you do something about your health. I have experienced shortness of breath, chest pain, and four cardiac catheterizations – and I’m not yet 50! But that is only half the story. The other half is the burden I carry when look into the eyes of my wife. At times I sinfully fear that she may be a widow one day. As I share these concerns I am not looking for pity but I am praying that you would benefit from my experience which says to take care of yourself now instead of later.

With this experience in mind, may I ask you a question? Are you giving attention to your health? If not, don’t wait until your arteries are blocked before you start to do something about it! Don’t wait until you are on an operating table with a catheter threaded through your body and a cardiologist leaning over you saying, “Mr. (fill in your last name here). It appears you have a 90% blockage in an artery.” Don’t get to that point!

What to do?

Tip 1. Seek advice and counsel from your health/medical support network. Come up with a realistic plan to improve your health based on your current situation.

Tip 2. With your plan in hand, get started! Ask your spouse or close friend to hold you accountable to your plan. Prayerfully adjust your plan as necessary.

Tip 3. Lastly, enjoy the benefits of living a healthier lifestyle knowing that you will feel better and hopefully live longer.

Tip 4. (For wives). I know there are wives reading this post. Don’t panic. Don’t just start throwing green stuff in front of your husband and refusing to wash his clothes until he eats it. Most guys (like ladies) want to take care of their health, and respond much better to encouragement and support than to guilt or fear motivation. Talk about this, express your concerns if necessary, but coming along side your husband will be far more helpful than standing toe to toe.

There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?

A Romance Story

This is another in our occasional series of the stories of how our Community Group Leaders met and the path they took to their wedding. Today we feature Scott and Carol Hegman

Scott had a housewarming party after church one Sunday afternoon in February 1991. He had recently bought his first home, a small twin in Ridley Park. My friends Chris and Barbara Payson invited me to go with them. I had been recently widowed, about two weeks, and was very hesitant to accept the invitation. With some coaxing and twisting my arm, I reluctantly said I would go but not without bringing a gift.

I stopped at a local ice cream/ gift shop in the neighborhood to take a look around and attempt to find something appropriate. I spotted a gumball machine wrapped in red cellophane with a big red bow. My children were nine and seven at the time and I thought this would be a nice fun “generic” gift to give from us. I purchased the gumball machine and off we went to the party.

Many people from the church we were attending gathered that day for this joyous occasion. When it came time for opening gifts, Scott came to ours and announced, “This is from the Baronofskys.” He opened our present, this cute light-hearted “generic” gumball machine. He then proceeded to press his finger down to release the gum.

Much to my dismay, complete shock, and the most embarrassing, “I just want to be so invisible I could die!” moment of my life, out came little candy hearts that said, “HUG ME” “KISS ME” “I’M YOURS.” The “generic” present was filled with Valentine candy hearts!!! The red cellophane, month of February, Valentine theme never entered my mind at the time of purchase. Needless to say, this most embarrassing day of my life would be etched in my mind forever.

Scott did ask me out on a date in September of that same year. We had a really nice time, and much to my surprise he continued to pursue a relationship. What started out as a friendship blossomed into love. We had a lot of “family dates,” giving my children opportunities for all of us to spend time together, getting to know Scott and his family.

In February 1992, after Sunday night service at Woodlyn Baptist Church, Scott pulled around the back of the church parking lot. He put in a tape and sang “I Will Be Here” by Steven Curtis Chapman. Then he took out a ring box, opened it and proposed. Through tears of joy and disbelief, I said yes to this wonderful man. We were married June 27, 1992 with my two dear girls, Sarah and Lizzy, giving me away at the altar.

Who would have ever thought that an innocent, silly, “mistaken” gift would have so much meaning in our lives? But that is the Wondrous, Personal, Sovereign, God we love and serve. We marvel at all the Lord has done since then. We recently came across the gumball machine when we were going through some boxes we had stored in the basement. Once again we smiled and laughed as we remembered that day seventeen years ago. He is our Faithful God, exchanging beauty for ashes, working all things together for our good, doing exceedingly and abundantly above all we ask or think.

A Work Day

Recently a dear friend of mine and I did our first ever semiannual “work day”. Let me explain what I mean by this, though it’s fairly obvious from the title (creative titles are not my forte, maybe we’ll come up with something better by the time we do our next one!).

The idea is that twice a year we will get together for an entire day to do work…once at my house and once at her house. Whoever is hosting it picks a project that they want to get done around their house. So for example it could be things like painting a room, organizing the garage, making and freezing some extra meals, yard work, cleaning out a closet, etc. Basically it could be any project that you have around the house that you just never seem to find the time to get done. When my friend came we moved all the kids’ toys into the basement and organized them and then moved all 3 of the kids into the same bedroom (which involved some creative rearranging). We worked from the morning until close to dinner time with a lunch break and some coffee breaks. Another key factor was getting a sitter all day for the kids (or having your husbands watch them)…this makes the time you have as productive as possible.

So, why am I sharing this? Well, I think it can be a great way to both get something done around your home and enjoy some fellowship with a good friend and it can even become a fun little tradition (that’s what I’m hoping for). In thinking about my friends and who I could do this with, I tried to be strategic. So I picked a good friend that I don’t get to see nearly enough because she lives in Lancaster. This way we get at least 2 full days together every year. She is also someone that I can easily enjoy fellowship with and she’s an excellent homemaker so she brings some serious help when she comes!

Maybe starting your own “work day” (or some kind of adapted version) with a friend will prove to be a fun way for you to get some projects done around the house while also enjoying some time with a dear friend.

Free Agents?

Much is made these days in the sports world of being a free agent. To be a free agent means you’re not bound to one team; you’re free to shop your talents to the highest bidder. Free agency is the big payoff for professional athletes. Of course the ‘free agent’ market is not just made up of top notch, in demand players. Anyone who can’t find a spot on a team is also considered a ‘free agent’. Come to think of it, in a technical sense I’m a free agent in every sport.

But, as D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones points out below, a Christian is never truly a free agent. Nor would we ever want to be, if we truly understand the privilege of being bound to God through our union with Christ.

Again one of the essential and most obvious things about a Christian is that (he) lives always realizing he is in the presence of God. The world does not live in this way; that is the big difference between the Christian and the non-Christian. The Christian is a (person) whose every action should be performed in the light of this intimate relationship to God. He is not, as it were, a free agent. He is a child of God, so that everything he does, he does from this standpoint of being well-pleasing in His sight. That is why the Christian, of necessity, should view everything that happens to him in this world entirely differently from everybody else.

D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Studies in the Sermon on the Mount, 20.

Conversations you never want to have with Your Twelve Year Old Daughter

We were speeding down the highway as fast as I could while appearing to be relaxed and in control. We were on our way to the doctor, but this was anything but a normal visit with a sick child. The last 36 hours had proven to be a perplexing mystery of symptoms and illness. And my twelve year old daughter knew that something seriously wasn’t right. In between grasps for breath as she was hyper-ventilating, she asked, Dad, what if it isn’t something simple, what if it’s something worse,… what if,…

In the past two days Katie had taken a decided turn for the worse. Wednesday she had come home tired and slightly sick to her stomach. Yet she had held down multiple fluids and some toast. Every indicator was just mild, edgy, vague – nothing definitive. For the past 2 ½ weeks she had complained of being tired. Yet she had had an amazing growth spurt – almost 2 inches in less than a month. Cindy had checked in with the school nurse to explore whether some other illness was moving through the school population. Yes, the nurse had said on Thursday afternoon, strep throat going around that only showed a low-grade fever. Yet after more than a day of sleep, Katie was exhausted on Thursday night. I approach Cindy that night and we discussed our concerns and fears. We decided to wait until the morning to see if she would shake this off with more rest.

But here we were Friday morning rushing to the doctor. Katie had awakened even more tired with increasing weakness. I had weighed whether to take her directly to the ER, but Cindy said that an examination and communication from the Doctor’s office would expedite things at the ER (she was right).

On the way, she was getting worse. In our light hearted discussion, she paused and asked me her question: “Dad, what if it is something serious, something,….”

In these moments (which you pray that you never have with your children) you hope that you will respond with great and deep wisdom, but I had no idea what to say. So I did what we normally do almost every day on our way to school, we quote scripture.

(Me) “Katie, ‘Trust in the Lord,…” and she answered “with ALL your heart.”
(Me): “And lean not,…” (Katie) “on your own understanding.”
(Me): “in all your ways,…” (Katie) “acknowledge Him.”
“And (together) He will make your paths straight.”

The power of this simple truth of trusting the Lord rushed into our minivan and gave us strength for that moment. Whatever the future held, we would face it with Him, and trust Him for the outcome. For He is the Lord and worthy to be trusted. He will provide the grace to face anything.

God’s mercy and grace were abundant that day, as many events would reveal in the coming hours. Grace to hold onto Him when Katie’s life was unsure, grace to care for and love and encourage one another while in the ER as we conversed over our cell phones. And grace throughout the long night in the PICU until Katie stabilized in the morning.

Katie was diagnosed with Type I diabetes. She went from an intense fear of needles on Saturday to giving herself shots by the next Wednesday. As I slept those next few nights in the hospital, each night I would gaze upon my daughter’s face, while she was sleeping, seeing, now-rosy cheeks compared to the ashen hollow ones on Friday and hearing regular relaxed breathing compared to her labored rushed breathing before, and I am deeply thankful. Thankful to the Lord for His mercy for that moment and for His constant grace for now and his promises for the future. Grateful for having had a conversation with my twelve year daughter that I would never want to have.

Happy Fathers Day!

Happy Fathers Day my brothers. For those of you who are currently dads, thank you for making a difference in your children’s lives for the love of Christ and for allowing us to benefit from your example in the process. For ‘hope to be dads’, may the Lord answer your prayers in the timing and provision of grace that reminds you that his ways are perfect.

Here are a couple of things from the Sovereign Grace World for your Father’s Day and beyond.

FIRST, on Tuesday I posted a recommendation from Al Mohler on some summer reading. Apparently our intrepid apostle CJ has stood up for those of us who don’t have an Al Mohler brain and offers his own list. I’m familiar with most of the books on both lists and I think it would be much easier to finish one of CJ’s recommendations on vacation.

(Incidentally, I’m heading to Georgia next week and am taking “The Steel Wave”, the second book of Jeff Schaara’s planned trilogy of World War II novels.)

SECOND, Stephen Altrogge has written a short book on his relationship with his dad (Sovereign Grace Pastor and songwriter Mark Altrogge) that he has made available on his blog, The Blazing Center. I obtained a copy of “My Friend, My Hero, My Dad” and am finding it very encouraging and envisioning for my parenting. Here’s a bit from Stephen on why he wrote the book:

No one has had a greater spiritual influence on my life than my dad, and there’s no one I want to be more like. Like the title says, he’s my friend and my hero. This book details the specific ways my dad influenced me to follow Christ, and is intended to be an encouragement for mom’s, dad’s, husbands, and wives. My hope is that this book encourages you as you seek to faithfully raise your children in the fear of the Lord.

I should point out that my dad didn’t really want me to write this book. That’s because he’s humble. But I believe that I have an extraordinary dad, and that his example is compelling. My goal in writing this book was to give people a snapshot of that compelling example.

I would like to make this book available to as many people as possible. To do that I’m going to:
· Give the book away in e-book format for free. Please feel free to pass the e-book along to as many people as you would like.

· For those of you who hate reading e-books, a paperback version can be purchased on Lulu.com for $10.

To download a free electronic copy of the book, CLICK HERE.
To purchase a paperback copy of the book, CLICK HERE.

A Busy Testimony

We’ve received a number of responses on how God met folks in our recent Family Life Meeting, ‘Busy?’. The following reflections on the meeting are meaningful because it shows how the Lord can work not only in our individual busy lives but in busy marriages as well.

My husband and I are so thankful for the Godly, gospel centered lives, and teaching of the pastoral team. We attended "Busy?" Thinking we could get a biblical handle on managing our busy lives, what we got instead was vastly different, and much better. I learned that the teaching had very little to do with a schedule, and MUCH to do with my desperate need for the Savior’s Grace. The idea that I could rest in the Lords peace never occurs to me when I am in the midst of a” doing everything myself, bully my way thru the day show.” We could relate very much to the hearts and the humanness of the pastors. My husband and I were taken aback by the things that we never even thought of before. I fail to realize in my everyday life (with 2 small kids, home, husband, part time job, service commitments, health issues) that there will always be chaos and unrest, so I will need to depend on Him for everything.

I have been in a season of angrily waiting for some peace and quiet, and (big surprise) it never comes. How wonderful is God’s grace that he allows me to realize these things. Life circumstances can be very unsettling and disturbing at any given moment, but I learned that I don’t have to be driven by my circumstances.

My husband said he was convicted of many things that were talked about. But instead of my usual skepticism, I gave thanks to the Lord for giving my husband eyes to see, and ears to hear. I’m so thankful for a godly husband and a godly marriage. God’s grace allows me to keep my mouth shut, and let Him work on my husband. Clearly, God can do a better job on my husband than I ever could. Every day I am freshly reminded of and amazed by grace. I don’t know where else we could be as well fed and cared for than at our church, where we always find a way to keep the main thing the main thing, and as a result, a wretched sinner like me is being changed into someone who can glorify God with the way I live, and have the opportunity to let my children see how that looks as well.

Grace in Unexpected Places

Ladies, if you’re wondering about what to get your husband or your dad for Fathers Day, how about some good summer reading. In his recent blogs Al Mohler has offered some suggestions on some new history books, including a synopsis and quoted section from each. Check them out.


Potty Training. Oh how those 2 words fill my mind with horrible flashbacks. The tears, endless laundry, carpet scrubbing, and tantrums make my heart beat faster even now as I type. Needless to say, potty training my first daughter was not a gentle and easy process. I began training her at age two and was not fully successful until she was close to 4. Everything you hear not to do…I did. I could write a book: “What NOT to Do When Potty Training.” I remember a wise woman suggesting, “Have you prayed?”

Prayed for potty training? No…I never even thought of it.

Well I am delighted to tell you my third child, my first son, is out of diapers and accident-free at two and a half. Hallelujah!!!!! I have not changed a diaper in three weeks and I have not yet come down from the clouds. Our God is a God of mercy!! Many things were different this time around. I waited to start. I prayed. I asked for help from other moms, and honestly I didn’t DO much of anything else. I not only learned from my earlier mistakes, but God revealed to me an important lesson. When I attempt to do things on my own, in my own self-sufficiency, I usually fail miserably. At the last Family Life meeting, “Busy?”, Mark Prater said something that stuck in my mind. He said that “self-sufficiency disconnects us from grace”. Trying in all my power to potty train my daughter left me weary and burdened because I was disregarding the grace and strength available to me through my relationship to Jesus Christ. This helped me to see that when I am not seeking God by reading His Word, meditating on Him daily and praying, I have chosen to rely on my own strength and resources, even though I know from experience and from God’s word that they are insufficient. Not only do difficult duties like potty training become a trial, but the overall busyness of life becomes a trial too.

I am learning that diving in to grace through regular time with God opens my eyes not only to the futility of self-sufficiency, but to the sufficiency of grace that God showers upon me because of my Savior.

Gleaning from Galatians

Galatians 2:20: I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Tim Keller, Pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City, and author of the recent book, ”The Reason for God – Belief in the Age of Skepticism”, has some great thoughts drawn from a study in Galatians. As we come to the end of our series, Sola Gratia, this is an insightful reminder on how the justifying work of the Savior defines who we are and what we are to become.

More Than We Ever Dared Hope

“The gospel of justifying faith means that while Christians are, in themselves still sinful and sinning, yet in Christ, in God’s sight, they are accepted and righteous. So we can say that we are more wicked than we ever dared believe, but more loved and accepted in Christ than we ever dared hope — at the very same time. This creates a radical new dynamic for personal growth. It means that the more you see your own flaws and sins, the more precious, electrifying, and amazing God’s grace appears to you. But on the other hand, the more aware you are of God’s grace and acceptance in Christ, the more able you are to drop your denials and self-defenses and admit the true dimensions and character of your sin.”

Timothy Keller, Paul’s Letter to the Galatians: Living in Line with the Truth of the Gospel (Redeemer Presbyterian Church, 2003), 2.

(Drawn from the web site http://firstimportance.org)

Prioritizing Relationships Over Accomplishments

Today’s blog corresponds to one of the points from Andy’s message at the Family Life Meeting on Saturday Night. If you didn’t have a chance to hear the message you can download soon here.

We can enjoy peace in busyness through prioritizing relationships over accomplishments

SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT NEED TO WORK IN THIS AREA:

• You enjoy order or cleanliness or productivity more than the quality of your love for others.
• You tend to avoid confrontation or conflict resolution
• You’re distracted simply being with the family
  
  Vision from God’s Word:
  
  Colossians 3:12-15 12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.
  
  
  Enjoying Peace Through Application:
• Regular date nights
• Family devotions during dinner
• Get a digital camera/video camera and take pictures. Put them on your family computer as the screen saver
• Invest in some family games – things that don’t take everyone to play, and can be done in an hour or less and enjoyed by everybody. Games that aren’t concentration driven.
  Don’t go on errands without a kid, but try not to go on errands with all the kids. Mix and match
• Regulate media and try to focus what you imbibe around things you all enjoy.
• Limit cell phone and iPod use that isolates family members. Limit private space in the home.

Relationships are a gift from the Lord. They refresh and strengthen us, and they are a means of grace to us for growth in our walk with the Lord. Often in the busyness of life, we can allow things we “must” accomplish to crowd out the priority of relationships in our lives. Consider the following questions to help you evaluate this tend in all our lives.

1. How would you evaluate your time spent this past week with respect to accomplishing tasks and/or investing in relationships? Have you spent your time wisely? Have you gravitated toward accomplishing tasks? Have you invested enough time in key relationships in your life?

2. Think of the important relationships in your family. Have you slipped into “managing” your household more than taking time to share and draw one another out in conversation this past week or so? Have you made an effort to encourage and build up each other up through serving each other, giving affection, and spending time with one another? As parents, have you taken time to instruct or graciously correct your children or draw them out in conversation?

3. Take time to think of 2-3 ways you could creatively make relationships more of a priority in your family? Implement one of those ideas this week. Here are a few examples:
With a member of your family: Take time to have a spiritual discussion; take a walk; creatively encourage them in one area of their life.


4. Teens: Have you invested any time this week building your relationship with your parents? Have you:

-Taken time to draw them out about what they are currently learning
from the Lord?
-Asked them for ways you could be praying for them?
-Asked them for any input they might have for you?

The Rest of the Story

Today’s blog corresponds to one of the points from Andy’s message at the Family Life Meeting on Saturday Night. If you didn’t have a chance to hear the message you can download soon here.


We can enjoy peace in busyness through valuing rest over idleness.

SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT NEED WORK IN THIS AREA:

• You can get irritated (or worse) when something comes between you and your ‘down time’ interests
• You have regular TV shows (or websites you visit), but no meaningful spiritual study interests
• Your sense of peace is very affected by your immediate experiences or environment.

Vision from God’s Word:

Romans 14:17-19 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19 So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

Enjoying Peace Through Application:

1. How do you define rest? Now compare it to Andy’s definition of
idleness: indulgent relaxation. How do they compare? How do you know if
your relaxation is indulgent?

2. Evaluate your last seven days. Did you have a day which prioritized resting
from your work? If not, why not? If you did, are you consistent? Do you
have a biblical conviction regarding rest?

3. List your ‘down time’ interests (things you do other than your
responsibilities.) For example; time spent on the internet, email, golf,
photography, gardening, video games, working out, movies, concerts,
television, reading, following sports teams, phone calls, home repair, etc.
Go through the list and ask:
- Am I refreshed by this activity?
- Am I more ready to resume my work after engaging in this activity?
- Can I do this activity with a clear conscience?
- Does this activity unduly isolate me from family and friends?
- Does this increase my awareness of or gratitude to God?

4. Do your entertainment choices enrich your life? What changes can you make
so they are more enriching?

5. For some people, resting requires more faith than working. If this is you, have a friend/spouse review the time you give to sleep, physical activity/exercise, and rest. What changes do you need to make? How can your friend/spouse help you make those changes?

Humble Evaluation of Our Choices

Today’s blog corresponds to one of the points from Andy’s message at the Family Life Meeting on Saturday Night. If you didn’t have a chance to hear the message you can download soon here.

We can enjoy peace in busyness through humble evaluation of our choices

SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT NEED TO WORK IN THIS AREA:

• You’re having regular conflicts in your marriage or family about schedule conflicts
• There is a consistent gap between what you want life to look like and how it actually is working
• You tend to justify things you’ve done after the fact

Vision from God’s Word:

Psalm 85:7-13 7 Show us your steadfast love, O LORD, and grant us your salvation. 8 Let me hear what God the LORD will speak, for he will speak peace to his people, to his saints; but let them not turn back to folly. 9 Surely his salvation is near to those who fear him, that glory may dwell in our land. 10 Steadfast love and faithfulness meet; righteousness and peace kiss each other. 11 Faithfulness springs up from the ground, and righteousness looks down from the sky. 12 Yes, the LORD will give what is good, and our land will yield its increase. 13 Righteousness will go before him and make his footsteps a way.

Enjoying Peace Through Application:

1. Make a list of all the significant responsibilities that fill up your calendar. When your done, prayerfully prioritize these items by placing numbers next to them. One is the top priority. When you are finished ask the questions:

· Which of my high priorities do I most often neglect? Why is that?
· Do my schedule priorities reflect God’s priorities in scripture for me?
· Is there a place where my spouse and I disagree on what is more important? Who can we invite into our lives to help us talk through any disagreements
· How do your priorities compare with other believers around you? Who could you show your list to for fresh evaluation?

2. What in your schedule has a trumping effect. Make a list of items which have the effect of “bumping” things off your calendar. Try to think of three things. Then sit down with your spouse and evaluate whether these items are appropriately invading your calendar. Caring for a sick relative, for instance, may be reeking havoc on your calendar but be God’s unique call upon your life in this season. Pressure from your son’s baseball schedule, on the other hand, may need to be evaluated.

3. What church events are important for your family in this season, how does your calendar reflect this priority?

4. Do you have a pressure season in your work, school, or home? Tax accountants, for instance, are going to have a busy schedule around tax season. How can you plan for these temporary challenges in your schedule? What might you do, before and after these challenging seasons to ensure you don’t get derailed by them?

Wise Planning

Today’s blog corresponds to one of the points from Andy’s message at the Family Life Meeting on Saturday Night. If you didn’t have a chance to hear the message you can download soon here.

We can enjoy peace in busyness through wise planning

SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT NEED TO WORK IN THIS AREA:

• You don’t have a functional way to manage your family’s calendar or budget
• You’re continually surprised by things that you’ve committed to but don’t remember.
• You have trouble saying no, or find yourself saying yes to things you wish you didn’t.

Vision from God’s Word:

Hebrews 13:20-21 ²⁰ Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, ²¹ equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.

Enjoying Peace Through Application:

1. BATTLING YOUR PRESSURES: Consider which of the following desires can tend to drive the way you make decisions and spend your time. Discuss with your spouse and your fellowship group the specific ways you see these desires play out in your life.

Common Controlling Desires

· The desire for comfort/pleasure (peace through ease, leisure, avoidance of difficulty, enjoyment of indulgence)

· The desire for control/independence (peace through order or productivity, control over others, or not being controlled by others)

· The desire for approval (peace through the respect or approval of others, avoidance of conflict, people pleasing)

· The desire for rights (peace through being correct, not being questioned, sensitivity to issues of justice)

· The desire for possessions (peace through having money or the things money can buy, needing bigger, better, newer, or, conversely, trusting the ability to provide or wisely manage money)

2. TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR PLANS: Choose a usable calendar that both husband and wife can access and coordinate. Mark out non-negotiables – things like community group, date nights, Family times, important meetings, etc for up to a year. Talk about your upcoming schedule on a weekly basis

3. FOCUSING YOUR ATTENTION: If you use Microsoft Outlook, have the program open to your calendar, not your email. This will help you focus more on things you planned to do than on things that are coming at you through email. To do this:

In Outlook – hit Tools

In Tools – hit Options

In Options – Hit Other

In Other – Hit Advanced Options

In Advanced Options, in the blue box under “General Settings” see the command ‘Start-up in this folder”. Choose “Calendar”

Then “OK” Your way back through the menus

4. BUILDING YOUR PRIORITIES: Make a list of all the significant responsibilities that fill up your calendar. When you’re done, prayerfully prioritize these items by placing numbers next to them. One is the top priority. When you are finished, take a look at them in light of the following questions
• Which of my high priorities do I most often neglect? Why is that?
• Do my schedule priorities reflect God’s priorities in scripture for me?
• Is there a place where my spouse and I disagree? Who can we invite into our lives to help us talk through any disagreements
• How do your priorities compare with other believers around you? Who could you show your list to for fresh evaluation?

What in your schedule has a trumping effect – something that always seems to get attention? Make a list of items which have the effect of “bumping” things off your calendar. Try to think of three things. Then sit down with your spouse and evaluate whether these items are appropriately invading your calendar. Caring for a sick relative, for instance, may be creating havoc on your calendar but be God’s unique call upon your schedule in this season. The latest events on “CSI: Dancing With the American Idol at The Office” may be a little more demanding on your time than you might think.

What church events are important for your family in this season, how does your calendar reflect this priority.

Do you have a pressure season in your work, school, or home? For example, accountants are going to have a busy schedule around tax season for instance. Where are these challenges present in your schedule? How can you plan for them in advance so they don’t effect your priorities too much?

Daily Spiritual Disciplines

Today’s blog corresponds to one of the points from Andy’s message at the Family Life Meeting on Saturday Night. If you didn’t have a chance to hear the message you can download soon here.

We can enjoy peace in busyness through daily spiritual disciplines.

SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT NEED TO WORK IN THIS AREA:

· You don’t have consistent spiritual disciplines

· It is difficult to see the activity of God in your daily circumstances

· You’re can tend to complain or worry about things

Vision from God’s Word:

Philippians 4:4-7 ⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. ⁵ Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Enjoying Peace through Application:

1. Commit to a Five Week Investment in Spiritual Disciplines

Option One: Daily Devotion Plan

Total Time Goal:

Devotional Reading:
Resource:
Time:

Bible Reading:
Book:
Time

Prayer Time:

Option Two: 5x5x5 Plan

Over the next five weeks increase whatever you’re current devotional plan is by five minutes for five days per week.

2. Set aside a 10 minute time each night to review your day and give specific thanks for the grace of God in everything that happened

3. Put yourself into a regular practice of reading spiritually rich books. For advice on how to get started, go to the Family Life Blogs from early this year in our Thursday miniseries on how to read Christian books. You can get there by hitting ‘reading’ in our blog subjects.