What am I waiting for?

I recently spent some time at a country collectibles show browsing through a series of hand-painted wooden plaques with those cute little saying on them. One of them caught my attention—not with the usual chuckle over the cleverness of the quip. But rather with that still and quiet “ouch” you feel when a word of wisdom rings all too true in your own heart. It read, “I have nothing to complain about… but I still do it sometimes.”

Now, I can tend to think that I am a pretty contented person. I don’t mind hard work, I have a pretty high pain tolerance, and it takes a lot to rouse my anger. But this conviction was far more subtle. Though I may not utter words of complaint, I can many times have a heart of complaint. I can grumble and complain subtly and silently over things in my life that are not to my liking—things like finding a mess in the room I’ve just cleaned or having to deal with a child over the same issue yet one more time. And I usually end up in self pity, which I can take out on my family with shortness and sullenness.

I’ve been rereading a book by Jeremiah Burroughs called The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment. In it he connects complaining to discontentment and draws attention to Psalm 62:5, “For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence…” He says, “Not only must the tongue hold its peace; but the soul must be silent. Many may sit silently, refraining from discontented expressions, yet inwardly they are bursting with discontent” (p. 2). Attaining true contentment is not just a matter of the tongue; it is a matter of the heart.

And what my complaining heart really says is, “Lord, right now, the circumstances you have given me are not good enough for me.” But this verse in Psalm 62 begs the question, am I waiting for God? If not, what am I waiting for? If I am waiting for a house that’s always clean, a child who always obeys, or others to appreciate my efforts, I’m waiting in vain; even if they happen, they won’t satisfy.

The kind of contentment that quiets the soul comes as we wait for the Lord. As I remember his priceless work on the cross, consider his mercy and grace, and meditate on his goodness, he floods my heart with peace and he satisfies my soul. Though my circumstances may not change, God is always good and my heart is quieted as I make him my refuge by waiting for him.

What are you waiting for? “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” (Psalm 37:7)