Daddy and Mommy as Husband and Wife

You may have heard a common saying in Christian Parenting circles that goes something like this: “The best thing a mom and dad can do to provide a strong family is to provide a strong marriage.” I don’t know if it’s the best thing, but it is at least a very good thing. Some of the ways that we express this value at CFC is through Date Nights and our Couples Only events.

We stumbled onto a very helpful tip during our time down in Little Rock that you may find very helpful, too. “What are you doing to help you children see you as a married couple?” The thought never even occurred to us before. So, our answer of “not very much” should come as no surprise. The more we discussed it, the more we learned and were both convinced we ought to try it.

We were instructed to find ways to weave it in to the normal course of life. I would refer to Gina as my wife, we would intentionally hold hands in their presence. At the beginnings of meals, we would take 5-10 minutes of time that everyone knew was for Mommy and Daddy to talk as Husband and Wife while catching up on each other’s day. This is not rocket science, but it helped our children see that the relationship between me and Gina was different than the ones they had with us.

In doing this, not only are the children more equipped to interact with us and understand us. They also have a deeper understanding of the family and home in which they live. They are primed to have a higher view of marriage as they get older and to rightly understand the importance of that relationship.

Here’s what we discovered.

~ Children Don’t Naturally Think of us a Married Couple – At least our children didn’t. When we tried to take time to prioritize our marriage, as in a Date Night, we found that our children originally didn’t like it. Why couldn’t they come? As we clarified the husband/wife part of who we are, Date Nights became much easier and, at least in our case, we found that they had a fresh excitement about them.

~ Once They’re Taught, Children Easily Forget We’re a Married Couple – Since most of our couple time is spent during their sleeping hours, it is very easy for them to forget that we’re married. This is not just for the toddlers and little tikes. Teenagers interact with us as Dad and Mom so frequently that they, too, can forget easily.

This is not going to change your life…but it may change the way your children view your marriage. The better they understand that, the better your children can enjoy the family, the way God created it.