The eBay Café

The cost of discipling your growing children can be staggering especially if you have six! Breakfast with your teenage son - $18 - remember how much he eats! Even if you drop down to McDonalds, doing that once a month will cost you $120 a year. Multiply that by four, (I have four older children) and you are spending $480 on breakfast discipleship meetings. Add in four “getaways” with your daughters per year. With four daughters, that adds another $320. Then, with mom spending some time with the boys, again that will likely involve food and before you know it your breaching $1000 a year!

About a year ago Lois and I decided to increase the amount of time we spent training our children one on one. As we talked about all the different meetings we thought would be helpful my budget calculator began to churn out the above numbers. I knew the cost of going out was too high yet the privacy and atmosphere of a restaurant table seemed to aid us in our discussions and take us away from the day to day distractions of our home.

What we needed, I thought, was a restaurant table in our home! Yes, that was it, we would put a restaurant table in our house! But the location would need to be private, quiet, and special. After some discussion Lois and I decided to put a table in our bedroom. How’s that work?


First, I had to say goodbye to my big wooden desk. Then, to make this whole project affordable, I searched eBay and found a used kitchen table and chairs for about $100 dollars. I repainted the corner of the room and, instantly, our in-house restaurant booth was born.

Since our children are not normally in our room, meeting there seems different and special to them. We chose a western theme for the area and began taking turns with the children on dates, looking for items to decorate our special place. Since we got our decorations and the table from eBay, we decided to name our in home restaurant the eBay Café. Lois and I have breakfasts with the children there. We have special evening dates with them.

We still have the option of taking our children out. But the pursuit of regular discipleship of our kids is no longer hindered by the cost of the restaurant tab.

Men of Truth

Guys, we live in a truth-deprived world. Everyday we are ingesting lies – like spiritual allergens in the air, we adapt to them, but we don’t see the detrimental effect of lies on our lives. We are told that lust is insatiable, that life is conquest, that relaxation cures everything, that kindness is for sissies, and that a man is measured by what he has or how he looks, that aging is a curse. All lies, but all easily believed because they are the air we breathe.

The very wise J.C. Ryle takes us to God’s word – the expectorant of lies – and calls us to rigorous self-treatment. Let’s heed the call.

You live in a world where your soul is in constant danger. Enemies are round you on every side. Your own heart is deceitful. Bad examples are numerous. Satan is always laboring to lead you astray. Above all false doctrine and false teachers of every kind abound. This is your great danger.

To be safe you must be well armed. You must provide yourself with the weapons which God has given you for your help. You must store your mind with Holy Scripture. This is to be well armed.

Arm yourself with a thorough knowledge of the written word of God. Read your Bible regularly. Become familiar with your Bible. . . . Neglect your Bible and nothing that I know of can prevent you from error if a plausible advocate of false teaching shall happen to meet you. Make it a rule to believe nothing except it can be proved from Scripture. The Bible alone is infallible. . . . Do you really use your Bible as much as you ought?

There are many today, who believe the Bible, yet read it very little. Does your conscience tell you that you are one of these persons?

If so, you are the man that is likely to get little help from the Bible in time of need. Trial is a sifting experience. . . . Your store of Bible consolations may one day run very low.

If so, you are the man that is unlikely to become established in the truth. I shall not be surprised to hear that you are troubled with doubts and questions about assurance, grace, faith, perseverance, etc. The devil is an old and cunning enemy. He can quote Scripture readily enough when he pleases. Now you are not sufficiently ready with your weapons to fight a good fight with him. . . . Your sword is held loosely in your hand.

If so, you are the man that is likely to make mistakes in life. I shall not wonder if I am told that you have problems in your marriage, problems with your children, problems about the conduct of your family and about the company you keep. The world you steer through is full of rocks, shoals and sandbanks. You are not sufficiently familiar either with lighthouses or charts.

If so, you are the man who is likely to be carried away by some false teacher for a time. It will not surprise me if I hear that one of these clever eloquent men who can make a convincing presentation is leading you into error. You are in need of ballast (truth); no wonder if you are tossed to and fro like a cork on the waves.

All these are uncomfortable situations. I want you to escape them all. Take the advice I offer you today. Do not merely read your Bible a little—but read it a great deal. . . . Remember your many enemies. Be armed!

(Quoted by Justin Taylor in his blog, Between Two Worlds)

Marriage: God’s Smallest GO Team

Meet Sean and Heather. Sean’s an electrician and Heather a part time clerk at the local bank. The very first day we ever met them, they began the conversation by saying, “I think we need to be born again. Can you tell us how to do that?” And so began our relationship. Now, that is low hanging fruit.

Let me admit right off the bat that most evangelistic opportunities are neither as obvious nor as easy as that one was for us. But evangelistic opportunities as a couple are not rare. If we are actively involved in “pursuing” and “proclaiming,” it should come as no surprise that “pursuing” happens in the context of relationship. And, for most of us, life is lived in the context of our marriage relationship.

With the Proclaim material still resonating in our heads and hearts, have you considered that the most effective and accessible Gospel Outreach (GO) Team that exists may be your own marriage? What if you used your marriage to reach the lost? Radical? Not really.

Here’s how it often works in the Flood house. Either Gina or I meet or run into a neighbor. Maybe it’s our next door neighbor or maybe it’s just someone along our walking path or bike ride. If there is any connection made at all, we will invite the person to our home for coffee, dessert, or a cookout. And, BANG, there goes the GO Team poised and ready for action.

It doesn’t have to be complicated and it certainly doesn’t have to be scary. A couple of burgers, a bag of chips, maybe some sodas and a pot of coffee. Any of us can do that. Then, you listen.

You listen for opportunities to share your faith. They come in all shapes and sizes. Perhaps the visiting couple shares a part of their lives where you can comfort or encourage. Perhaps they ask about a book you’re reading or a movie you’ve seen. Perhaps you ask an open-ended question that gets them talking, like: “So, how did the two of you meet?” (You will find out a ton about a couple as they answer this question.) These are all opportunities to let them into your world, for you to discover some about their world, and for you to begin to reach out with what matters most to you.

Not every conversation will end in sharing the gospel…nor should it. Your guests are not raw meat on the end of a stick at a tiger convention. You want to care for them and simply show Christian love and hospitality to them without strings. However, as members of God’s smallest GO Team, your antennae are always up looking for opportunities to share the good news with them.

Here’s the truth of it. As a pastor at CFC, I get to work with some incredible, godly men. But I can tell you this with no hesitation: Gina is my favorite ministry partner. Whether it is simply encouraging a couple of believers or evangelizing a couple of unbelievers, my favorite GO Team is my marriage.

Try it…I’m sure you’ll agree.

Hiding Places

When I was about sixteen, I remember counting the years I thought I had left, assuming I lived to a ripe, old age. Although not a very wise approach, it seemed to stave off my adolescent but persistent fears of death. Recently, a friend asked me to pray for her concerning her fear of death. It started me thinking once again about my own fears. I prayed for my friend, and during one of my devotions I read these comforting words, “You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in your word.” (Psalm 119:114).

Charles Bridges said of this scripture, “Here is our main principle of safety—not our strivings or our watchfulness, but our faith. Flee instantly to Jesus… [Who] exposed himself to the fury of ‘the tempest,’ that he might become a hiding place, for us.” What a powerful picture of the Gospel! Yet I confess that my attempt to apply the Gospel to my fears has not always been effective.

I recently read the book, "Running Scared", by Edward T. Welch. It’s a great book and one I recommend if you struggle with fear. I was reminded to dig down beneath the surface to see what might be at the root of my fears. Welch says, ‘Worry reveals our allegiances. Fear and worry are not mere emotions; they are expressions of what we hold dear. They reveal the loyalties of our hearts.”

Cravings for things such as money, relationships, reputation, even life itself (which in and of themselves are not wrong) can masquerade as fears and hunker down in our hearts. The Word says that our hearts are deceitful and full of buried motives discernible only to God. (Jeremiah 17:9). This is a picture of a different sort of hiding place, one we should expose— not keep covered! To do so, Welch calls the fearful believer to confession and repentance—the daily process of continuously turning toward God. As I pondered this in terms of specific application for me, I think it would mean growing in love for others more than anxiously grasping to satisfy my own needs and wants, praying more than reviewing my check book balance over and over, and resting more in His grace rather than “feeling overwhelmed” by my responsibilities, present or future. How about you? What do you fear? I encourage you to ask the Holy Spirit to pull back the veil of your heart and see what lies hidden there. Then flee to Jesus, your true hiding place. As you walk closer to Him in faithful obedience by the strength of the Spirit, that will take you farther and farther away from your fears.

Needful Things

This advice from John Newton is enough to chew on without comment. Enjoy!

“The days speed away apace; each one bears its own burden with it, to return no more. Both pleasures and pains that are past are gone forever. What is yet future will likewise be soon past. The end is coming. Oh to realize the thought and to judge of things now in some measure suitable to the judgment we shall form of them when we are about to leave them all! Many things which now elate or depress us will then appear to be trifles light as air. One thing is needful: to have our hearts united to the Lord in humble faith; to set Him always before us; to rejoice in Him as our Shepherd and our portion; to submit to all His appointments, not out of necessity, because He is stronger than we, but with a cheerful acquiescence, because He is wise and good and loves us better than we do ourselves; to feed upon his truth; to have our understandings, wills, affections, imaginations, memory all filled and impressed with the great mysteries of redeeming love; to do all for Him, to receive all from Him, to find all in Him. I have mentioned many things, but they are all comprised in one, a life of faith in the Son of God.” Dated 8/28/1779.

From "The Voice of the Heart, p 221

Are We Really Talking about This Again?

Whether your children are 2, 4 and 6 or 12, 14, and 16 you’ve had this thought more than once. The topics may range from putting down the potty seat to cleaning the bedroom floor…from asking to be excused from the table to how the family defines appropriate clothing. You were clear the first time you explained yourself. You were patient the second time you explained yourself. But now, here we are…are we really talking about this again?

Yep. And you’ll probably be talking about it again tomorrow.

Our children don’t learn the first 10 times we explain something for the same reason we don’t learn the first 10 times that friends, family, and God have explained something to us. We are all members of the same, sorry fraternity / sorority. We’re all still sinners.

By the very nature of that truth, our ears can be slow to hear and our hearts slow to respond. Is this not also true about our children? It is about mine. And, to eliminate any doubt in the spirit of honesty, it’s true about me. So, how’s a parent to respond?

Let’s look at how our Father responds the 16th time He reminds us about something He’s said:

But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. (Psalm 86:15)

God’s responses to us are always for our good and always consistent with love and faithfulness. Does He sometimes allow hardship to accompany our forgetfulness? Yes. “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” (Hebrews 12:6) To what lengths is He willing to go in order to help us incorporate His Truth into our lives? He sacrificed Himself for our sakes.

Our children are going to forget, or even choose not to remember, our instruction. Should that bring negative consequences at times? Certainly. Yet, those consequences should always be for them. Our responses to our children ought to reveal that we are their biggest cheerleaders instead of an ominous warden.

So, the 6th time your 9-year-old leaves his shoes at the top of the stairs or the 9th time your 15-year-old leaves their clothes 3 feet from the hamper or the 22nd time your 4-year-old chews with their mouth open, remember the Fatherly example set for you.

Mercy, love, and grace are possible, even in correction and discipline, when we are submitted to being used by God in the lives of our children. Remembering our own propensity for forgetting is a wonderful place to start. With that humility leading the way, God will pour grace into your 41st conversation about the same thing…He loves to give grace to the humble.

Going For the Gold

“Phelps Becomes Most Successful Olympian Ever.” “Phelps Makes Biggest Splash at Games.” Are you tired of all the headlines about Michael Phelps? Just before his fourth gold medal race August 13th, one of his buddies sent him a text message that razzed, “Dude, it’s ridiculous how many times a day I have to see your ugly face.” The friend went on, “It’s time to be the best ever.” Phelps is doing his best ever at the Olympics. Meanwhile back on earth, we’re determined in our family to make this the best ever Olympics as well. We have next to no athletic talent, and most of us know very little about sports, but that hasn’t stopped us from grabbing gold. Here’s how.

A few different times, we’ve started our family devotions around the computer. At nbcolympics.com you can easily find video recaps of all the major events. The event doesn’t matter so much; we’ve been using the swimming events which are short and exciting. The real value is when we apply what we learned. The take home points seem to come in two categories: One, how is our Christian life like being a top athlete? And two, how are we different? In either case, we’ve been starting out with I Corinthians 9:24 – 27. In this passage, Paul both compares and contrasts.

Here are some ways we’ve realized Christians are similar to Olympic athletes:

• Like Michael Phelps and other Olympic athletes, we are striving for a prize. As my daughter said in prayer this morning, ours is the prize of eternal life with God.

• Like an athlete, we need to orient our lives toward our goal. An Olympian asks himself, “Will this activity help me win, or hurt me?” And we ask ourselves, does this choice of something to do with my time help me get stronger in God?

• Like top athletes, we are not aimless. We laughed when we thought of what it would be like if Michael Phelps went exploring the bottom of the pool while everyone else swam to the finish line. We will stumble, but through grace in Christ, we are always trying to head forward in the upward call of God in Christ.

• Like a top competitor, we need self control in everything.

• Some events can only be won as a team, like the historic men’s 4X100 relay. For us, winning heaven is a team event!

Now here’s how we’re different:

• The glory of getting medals at the podium will fade for Olympians, but for us, the rewards are forever.

• Unlike divers and gymnasts, we can never hope for a perfect dive or routine. But Christ finished his earthly life perfectly, and He credits his perfect score to us.

• For the best Olympians, the goal is to become greater and greater. For us, the goal is to decrease so that we can enjoy watching Christ increase, until his glory fills the whole earth.

Lord, help us long for the closing ceremonies in heaven, that will blow away all the millions spent in Beijing, and leave every knee bowed, and every heart in awe of You!

An Everyday Type of Faithfulness

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was the kind of non-descript, in-betweenish kind of times. So go the ups and downs, the ebbs and flows of living life each day with your spouse. There are ecstatic, honeymoon type days. There are tragic and awful days. Every life, every marriage has both.

I have the immeasurable privilege of being Gina’s husband. I hope you feel the same about being your spouse’s spouse. But we can sometimes be led to believe that it should always be “the best of times.” And, if it’s not “the best of times,” it must be “the worst of times.” For every couple, though, most of life is lived in the in-between. Think about it.

Every figure throughout the course of history has lived most of their lives in the in-between. Abraham Lincoln, for example, spent most of his life in obscurity. Even when well known, he lived his life one day at a time. Though Lincoln certainly had “the best of times” and “the worst of times,” he still lived more in the monotony than in the extraordinary.

Jacob’s son, Joseph, had “the worst of times” worse than I’ll ever know. Being Pharoah’s second in command could be numbered among “the best of times.” However, 33 years or so in the making means that most of his life has not been written about. For Joseph, those were “the kind of non-descript, in-betweenish kind of times.”

And so, when neither adrenaline nor despair commands our heart, where do we turn in the routine of the everyday? We turn to faithfulness.

God thinks very highly of faithfulness. A quick look at Proverbs will prove this out:

- Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart. (Proverbs 3:3)

- Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, but those who act faithfully are his delight. (Proverbs 12:22)

- A faithful man will abound with blessings, but whoever hastens to be rich will not go unpunished. (Proverbs 28:20)

Faithfulness is what gets you through the non-descript, in-betweenish kind of times. It is also what allows you to enjoy the best of times without being carried away with self-reliance and endure the worst of times without losing yourself in self-centered misery.

And here is the beauty of gospel-centered faith. When it is characterized by faithfulness, it will be an experience in great and eternal joy. A joy comes in the now when we think of the words that await us in heaven.

“ 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.' ”(Matthew 25:21)

Relish “the best of times.” Be encouraged in “the worst of times.” Be faithful in “the kind of non-descript, in-betweenish kind of times.” And look forward to entering into the joy of your master.

Once a Mom, Always a Mom

Editor's note: The following is a blog post that Cindy passed on written by Sheree Phillips that is from the Metro Life Church blog MetroMoms. It is a bit longer than usual, but worth the read. As Cindy says, “May this blog provoke all of us as Mom's to remember that our lives have been purchased by the Savior and that we have no claim to any our 24/7 - no matter what season of mothering we live in.”

Last Sunday night I spent the evening with my married girls. We included Lauren this time, since she will marry our Joey in a few short weeks. The purpose of the evening was to discuss a wonderful sermon by pastor and author J.R. Miller called, “The Christian Wife.” Although he died in the early 1900’s and the standards and vocabulary can seem a little out of date to today’s sophisticated Christian woman, the truths are timeless, inspiring and convicting. (If you want to get a copy of the sermon follow the link to the MetroMoms blog)

Preparing for this time together with a married daughter, two daughters-in-law, and a future daughter-in-law caused me once again to realize I’m on the back nine. But my heart and desire as a mother remains the same as when my approaching 30 daughter was the age of your little ones. Back then I wanted her to love being a girl. Love God’s wise and loving design in making her distinctly female, with all the responsibilities and privileges that entails. She was surrounded by brothers (until God mercifully gave her sisters some years later) and although she enjoyed playing with match box cars and didn’t mind getting dirty while playing outside, she was all girl.

I wanted her to grow up to embrace godly womanhood. To resist cultural pulls to feminism and resenting her created design to be a suitable helper to a husband and a godly mother to children, should the Lord give them to her. I wanted to do my best to equip her to be an effective home manager.

By God’s grace, Jaime loves being a mom. And now she longs for the same things for Kayla, Annie and Danae that I prayed would be her heart’s desire.

But she still needs the help, encouragement, correction and Titus 2 mentoring of others. At 3 she needed my help to learn to make her bed. At 7 we “used” her baby sister to teach her to bathe, burp and comfort a newborn. At 10 she needed help to understand why lying about cheating on her home school work was a reflection of her sinful jealousy over having to work harder on math than her older brother. At 15 it took time and long talks to help her understand why it was important to be honest with her temptations and sins, even when she was embarrassed. And at 18 she needed help to deal again with those same issues, especially when her lack of humility resulted in needing to apply the gospel when unmortified sin made life rough. (As it does with all of us!)

What am I feeling? I guess I want you to know that what you are doing with your life isn’t just for “this season.” Do you think that once the kids go to school or learn to drive you will have more time for yourself? Do you dream of the days when they will actually respond to your training and stop interrupting, making messes and learn first-time obedience? Realize that laying down your life for your children is a lifetime commitment. The break our culture and our sinful hearts long for will only happen if we give in to the myth of midlife selfishness.

Yes, there are days when I can lounge in the pool for 45 minutes uninterrupted, spend some extra time at lunch with a friend or have a leisurely devotional time without wondering what’s going on in the family room. But according to scripture, my life is not any more my own than yours is. I don’t wake up to nurse babies anymore. I just have trouble falling and staying asleep because I had iced tea with dinner or my hormones are wacky. I don’t get anxious about high fevers or whether I’m doing an adequate job teaching a first grader to read. I battle fearful concerns about whether my kids are adequately battling the worldliness or lust or self-righteousness or discontent that can lead to serious consequences in marriages and families.

I’m here to say that motherhood is a life calling. My role has certainly changed over the decades. What my life looks like is different in many ways. But I remain constrained by the gospel to continue giving my life away to my kids. When the Savior bought me with the price of His sinless blood on the cross, He laid rightful claim to every moment of every day of my life through eternity.

So if you’re waiting for the day when you can “get your life back” (as I recently read one author say about midlife when the kids are grown) please stop. Most of the same sins I battled when I was your age I’m still battling. And the same need I had for God’s strength to give my life away 24/7 then remains my need today.

In fact, it’s time to close this lengthy post. I have wedding rehearsal dinner invitations to address, a youth meeting to attend with 2 of my kids, clothes to move to the dryer, and a son who’s been gone for a week to pick up at the airport.

Lord, thank you for calling me to a life of devotion to others, especially my family. Give me strength to persevere in my battle against the sin that easily lures me to love myself more than I love them. Pour out Your grace on the young moms who are reading this post today. Give them a long term vision for their mothering and protect them from worldly thoughts of getting their lives back. Their lives, and mine, were purchased by you. How foolish to ever want they back!

We are Ambassadors, not Diplomats

These days when we think about how the church should interact with the culture, there is a lot of talk about identifying with the needs around us and being part of the solution to the world’s problems. While we always want to see our place as citizens as a privilege and the needs of our society as our responsibility, what we can never forget is our citizenship in heaven. In being part of solutions here – whether it is standing for the weak and defenseless, taking care of our environment, or pushing for justice and social change – we can never forget our citizenship in heaven. And we must always handle social responsibility here n light of eternal responsibility before the Lord of All. Here is a great perspective from about 35 years ago that is every bit as relevant now as it was then.

“We are not sent to preach sociology but salvation; not economics but evangelism; not reform but redemption; not culture but conversion; not progress but pardon; not a new social order but a new birth; not revolution but regeneration; not renovation but revival; not resuscitation but resurrection; not a new organization but a new creation; not democracy but the gospel; not civilization but Christ; we are ambassadors, not diplomats.”

—Hugh Thomson Kerr, quoted in George W. Peters, A Biblical Theology of Missions (Chicago: Moody Press, 1972), 65 – courtesy of firstimportance.org

Care for the Orphan and the Widow is true Christianity

Editors Note: This entry by David Mayinja displays a wonderful mercy outreach for families to do together. It also reveals God’s heart for the fatherless…a worthy read at any time. For more information on Caring for Orphans, be sure to follow the link at the end of the blog.

I grew up in a middle class family of six children. My father was an engineer and had a good career in Uganda. My siblings and I were able to enroll in some of the best private schools, and were well taken care of. In my third year of high school, my father was gunned down on the streets of the capital city, Kampala. During that time, Uganda was experiencing political turmoil and instability due to the chaos and ethnic conflicts that plagued the country in the early 1980’s.

A few months before my father’s death, I had accepted Jesus as my Savior at a conference that I was invited to by a Christian young man who had befriended me when I joined high school. During my time of grief, the members of the Christian Fellowship rallied around me and provided encouragement and care that completely overwhelmed me. It helped me to remain focused on the Lord and to trust that He was in control of my life. With the help of some of the leaders, I learnt to pray and to wait upon the Lord. Little did I know what a means of God’s Grace prayer would become for my family and me in the days ahead.

The passing of my father left my mother, who had no career, with the daunting responsibility of caring for six children in a deteriorating economy. However, despite not having had the privilege of a high school education, my mother managed to turn her hobbies of sewing and baking into a small business that was able to keep us afloat. We moved out of our home in the suburbs into a small apartment to cut costs. Our extended family, in true African custom, also became a means of God’s provision and grace in our lives by contributing toward my mother’s start up capital for the business. An uncle took responsibility for me and provided a home and tuition for my high school education. He became my mentor and inspiration for a better future.

In spite of numerous difficulties and trials we faced as a family in the succeeding years, we experienced God’s faithfulness and providential care for us in countless ways. God has honored His word in my life, that He is indeed “A Father of the fatherless….” (Psalm 68:5) I was ultimately able to undertake graduate studies in International Economic Development in the United States. The program, along with my recent work experience in International Development, has prepared me well for the role I have recently taken on in Covenant Mercies’ initiatives in Africa.

It is indeed a privilege to be involved full time with Covenant Mercies; but what gives my family and me greater joy is the life change we have observed each passing year in Michael Owino, the child we sponsor through CM’s Orphan Sponsorship Program He has been given an opportunity to an education and a hope for a brighter future. However, in many ways we have been the greater beneficiaries as we have supported him.

As one who understands firsthand the challenges faced by fatherless children in Africa, I do encourage you to consider sponsoring a child in one of our programs in Uganda, Zambia, or Ethiopia. Your involvement will have an enduring effect in an orphan’s life and bring much glory to our Lord, Jesus Christ.

God is indeed a Father to the fatherless. Would you consider being a means of his grace to one of our children?

Real Men Need Women

Stephen Altrogge at www.theblazingcenter.com gives us seven reasons he’s glad God created women. Funny thing is, I wouldn’t have come up with any of his seven reasons, but I can’t argue with a single one. Which only goes to show how important my wife is to me. Check out Stephen’s Seven here. And don’t miss the accompanying videos. You’ll identify!

Date Night Idea: Pour Out Your Heart

Ever feel like unique date night ideas are hard to come by? Ever feel like you just do the same thing each time? Well, we think we have our fingers on the pulse of a good idea. It’s sometimes amazing to see how fast good ideas come pouring out once the vein of creativity gets poked and prodded. So, here’s a date night idea where you give more than you receive…take your beloved to a blood drive.

Not a “drive in” or a “drive thru” but a “blood drive.” Just think of the romance…the heart images of Valentine’s Day smack dab in the middle of August. For those of you on a budget, keep in mind that the drinks and desserts are free. There is no admittance fee. And, if you’re really ambitious about donating blood, there may even be dancing. Of course, the room will be taking you for a spin instead of the other way around.

Our very own Stefan Bomberger has some tips for all couples venturing out on this dating expedition.

• First up, make sure you eat up beforehand. One time I only had a bowl of soup in the morning and it was late afternoon when I gave blood. They still took my blood, but I was sipping OJ for quite a while afterwards before I felt even semi-normal.
• Don't schedule some inflexible appointment too close afterwards. In college I made this mistake once. The whole process took longer than expected and after I gave blood I had to jump on my bike and book it to my next meeting. Not good.
• Choose your “waitress” well. Do your best to position yourself nearby the old lady. You know, the one who's obviously been doing this for years and can get the vein without blinking an eye.
• Once the blood starts flowing, make a race out of it. Try to get positioned next to each other and start around the same time. To speed things up, you might consider squeezing that little toy they give you. I think it might help a bit.

Thanks Stefan, for making this practical.

To find out how to capitalize on this opportunity for romantic memory making, click this link for more info: CFC Blood Drive. Be sure to let us know how it went. Issues such as these are very close to our heart.

Techno-Mom

Technology: It’s invading just about every aspect of our culture and lives, and much of what I do depends on it. IPods, Email, cell phones, podcasts, blogs, and online shopping are all a part of my family’s daily life and vocabulary. But I am finding that without intentional regulation, this information explosion can easily lay waste to my schedule and take over many of my waking hours!

I have seen the need to build some helpful constraints into my schedule keep technology in its rightful and useful place. Scripture says, “We are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10) Technology can be a useful tool for accomplishing what God has called me to do, or it can distract me from his purposes. Here are guidelines I have found helpful for regulating my use of technology and some questions I frequently ask myself:

• Start with priorities. If I am a wife and mother, caring for my husband and family come first.

• Question: Am I allowing the use of technology (checking email, blogs, and computer games) to interfere with the priorities God has given me?

• Set some limits. I try to limit when and how often I check email or blogs. If you must check email often because frequent communication is necessary for your family or ministry, try to stay focused on necessary communication and save less urgent items for a time that you can schedule.

• Question: Am I mastering my email, or is it mastering me?

• Stop surfing. Try a blog-feed service that will combine new posts on blogs you frequent. That allows you to go to one place for everything instead of wasting valuable time logging on and off. And try limiting the number of blogs you follow. It keeps me busy just following up on the many wonderful resources our pastors recommend along with their sermons.

• Question: Am I maxing out on information and forgetting about application?

• Stay in touch. Our lives as wives and mothers are primarily relational. Try using a speaker system for your IPod so that when you are listening to music or sermons, it is not to the exclusion of your family. Monitor amounts of time spent in chit-chat on the phone.

• Question: Am I practically unavailable to my husband or children because I’m plugged-in, on line, or tied up for extended periods during the day?

Take it one thing at a time. And be encouraged…a little thought and application go a long way.

Perspectives from Worship 08

A week ago a number of members of our worship team had the opportunity to gather with about 1,600 pastors and worship teams at Covenant Life Church for Worship God 08, the Sovereign Grace worship conference. It was a memorable time of celebration, fellowship, and teaching around the book of Psalms.

When I go to a conference I try to take everything in, but am listening in every message for heart-piercing or truth-illuminating insights that I can meditate on in the days and weeks ahead. Here are five quotes from at the conference that hit me like lasers of insight. They are from the preaching of God’s word as various Psalms were opened up to us. Take a moment to ponder these thoughts and let them stir your heart.

Craig Cabaniss commenting on Psalm 33:

The power of the Psalms is not that they are relatable to us, but that they are revelatory of God.

Only God can speak, and out of nothing, something will come.

Thabiti Anyabwile commenting on Psalm 73:

The overwhelming emotion in heaven will be awesome satisfaction that God is truly all we need.

David Powlison commenting on Psalm 28:

The Psalms are ABOUT what life is about. And life is always playing variations on a theme: the human predicament, the hardships of sin and suffering, the Lord our God who intervenes with mercies, who reveals Himself so that we know Him and abound in hope.

Bob Kauflin commenting on Psalm 24:

Our conduct will always be determined by whose we are, and what we worship.

All the main session messages will be available for download soon from Sovereign Grace Ministries .

When you’re at the web site, don’t forget to check out the new worship CD Psalms, which provides rich new songs for worship built around the content of the Psalms.

A Night in the Life of the Mellingers

Editors Note: This week on the Family Life Blog, we are getting a closer look at the Mellingers. Jared and Meghan have joined together to provide us with little windows into their marriage, their family, and their own hearts. Check back each day for the next installment.



What’s the Mellinger home like? Well, a quick glimpse at our Monday evenings might help you get the picture. A typical Monday is likely to look something like this:

• Ben yelling, “Let my people go!” to Pharaoh Ryle.



• Ryle, the “Good Samaritan”, bandaging up a wounded Ben who had been left badly hurt on the roadside.


• Lily as Baby Jesus, or Baby Moses, or any other baby in the stories.

• Jared standing as the towering city of Jericho while Ryle and Ben marched around him 7 times, until he crumbled to the ground (at which point Ryle and Ben also “crumbled” and piled on top of Daddy…not quite how the story goes, but I guess they were taking some artistic license.)!

• Joseph (Ryle) helping Mary (Ben with a pillow stuffed in his shirt) onto a donkey (Jared) to travel to Bethlehem.

Now the reason you would find these things going on isn’t because it’s a non-stop Bible story bonanza around here…but because Monday nights are typically family nights for the Mellingers. We include several things in family night, but by far the most loved part of family night for the boys is when we act out a story from the Bible.

We usually keep this part pretty simple since the kids are still young…I (Meghan) am the narrator and I call out everyone’s lines to them, Jared plays any roles that require some muscle (Goliath, donkeys, etc), Ben plays anyone who gets to yell or is disgruntled (Moses, big brother in Prodigal son parable, etc), and Ryle being the oldest usually gets to play the most central role. It really requires very little effort or prep, but it always results in lots of laughs and the boys even learn something along the way (Jared usually quizzes them when we’re done).

Besides acting out stories from the Bible, family night will also usually include pizza or maybe breakfast for dinner; a game (Uno and Memory are popular choices); singing a hymn (we are currently learning Before the Throne of God Above); brief prayer; and sometimes a special treat like a trip to Coldstone Creamery.

Now, just so I’m clear…there’s no great acting going on here (we’re not the Floods!) and we can’t sing to save our lives (we’re definitely not the Stigoras!), but we are creating some sweet memories and having a blast together.

Getting to Know Jared

Editors Note: This week on the Family Life Blog, we are getting a closer look at the Mellingers. Jared and Meghan have joined together to provide us with little windows into their marriage, their family, and their own hearts. Check back each day for the next installment.












One night, just shortly after Jared and I were married, I typed up this list of “Ten Things I love about my Husband.” I can still remember how his face lit up when he read it. Hopefully sharing this will help you get to know Jared a little bit better.

When I wrote this, I was just putting down some of the first things that came to my mind about Jared. But now, as I review the list, I can see that it paints a wonderful picture of biblical masculinity…displaying qualities like cherishing your wife, living with your wife in an understanding way, pursuing humility, studying God’s word, working with diligence.

How grateful I am to have married a man whose life so strongly testifies to the transforming work of the Spirit. There is simply no one I admire or respect more.


Ten Things I Love About My Husband

1. Your quickness to laugh. I think that’s why I have so much fun with you…there’s no one I laugh with more.
2. Your gentleness in conversation. You are careful and self-controlled with your words, especially when I am not. You always speak with a gentle tone, even when I’m being difficult.
3. Your love of God’s Word and His people. You invest much of your time in reading and in people. This I admire, and it inspires me to do the same. Thanks for being an example.
4. Your desire to grow and change. How thankful I am that I do not have a husband who is stubborn and stuck in his ways. Thanks for your humility that is seen in your desire to change.
5. Your tender care for me, seen in your desire to help me identify and put to death sin in my own life.
6. Your diligence in working hard. Thanks for working hard at your job and never being late or calling in sick…it’s a small thing, but it reassures me and it makes me proud. (At the time he was working night shift at a warehouse.)
7. Your love for your family especially your parents. I admire the way you honor them and invest time with them.
8. Your sharp, creative mind, which is manifested in so many things – especially in your writing and your preaching. You are such a clear thinker and it’s a blessing to me.
9. Your desire to honor me above yourself and make me happy. Thanks for seeking your joy in your wifey…this is also an example for me.
10. Your passionate pursuit of me…you regularly romance me and make me feel prized and cherished by you. You are a gift I don’t deserve!

The Lovely Meghan Claire

Editors Note: This week on the Family Life Blog, we are getting a closer look at the Mellingers. Jared and Meghan have joined together to provide us with little windows into their marriage, their family, and their own hearts. Check back each day for the next installment.


I can still remember sitting in a small diner in Kutztown, PA on a cold night in February of 2000. I was 19 years old; Meghan was turning 21 that weekend. As a poor college student, I couldn’t afford much more of a birthday gift than the paper to write her a poem and the postage stamp to get it to her.

So that night I wrote a very simple poem for Meghan, called “The Lovely Meghan Claire”. It began, “A single score and one ago/ When I was not around to know/ A flower first began to grow/ The Lovely Meghan Claire.”

Since then I have written another installation of the poem each year for Meghan’s birthday. It has become “The Lovely Meghan Claire: An Ongoing Poem Celebrating Her Birth and Life.” One of the moments we both look forward to each year is when we go out to eat to celebrate Meghan’s birthday, and I read the full poem, ending with the newest addition for that year.

To give you a window into our marriage and to inspire your own romantic endeavors, here are the sections I wrote for Meghan’s 24th and 25th birthdays:

XXIV

A single score and four. Once more
Recall the goodness of the Lord
Who gave a gift worth more than gold
The Lovely Meghan Claire.

If asked, “A great wife who can find?”
My voice you’d hear not far behind
To speak of excellence defined
The Lovely Meghan Claire.

Why praise her? For she’s “to be praised”
Her strength and dignity outweigh
All others and her hands amaze
The Lovely Meghan Claire.

Her open mouth lets wisdom run
She’s learned to laugh at days to come
Who taught me Proverbs Thirty-One?
The Lovely Meghan Claire.


XXV

A single score and five have passed
The seed was sown; the stem grew fast
And soon around me twined at last
The Lovely Meghan Claire.

Now I am hers and she is mine!
And she’s become my fruitful vine
Where olive shoots spring up and dine
The Lovely Meghan Claire.

But better still, to Christ she holds.
His glory makes her tendrils gold
And gives us grace as we grow old
The Lovely Meghan Claire.

The vine is now too strong to fret
The winter weather or to let
The rays of scorching heat upset
The Lovely Meghan Claire.

More Random Art from the Mellinger Home

Also inspired by Meghan.

Getting to Know Meghan

Editors Note: This week on the Family Life Blog, we are getting a closer look at the Mellingers. Jared and Meghan have joined together to provide us with little windows into their marriage, their family, and their own hearts. Check back each day for the next installment.














I love when people get to know Meghan. I love even more when I get to tell people some of the many reasons I love her. Many of them are expressed in letters I have written to Meghan over the years. I thought sharing a letter I wrote to Meghan on November 28, 2005 might help you get to know her a little bit.


Meghan, my love,

I know I’ve told you over the past few days how much joy you bring me and the reasons why, but I want to communicate these things in writing so you can be reminded again of God’s grace in your life. These things need to go down in writing! I will never tire of pointing out the grace of God at work in you; his grace shines brightly from your life and I enjoy having the privilege of pointing out the obvious.

Meghan, you are one of the most gifted people I know – unusually gifted academically and unusually gifted athletically, and you are a very disciplined person to top it all off. I know that you truly could have advanced in any career you wanted to. I know you could be successfully competing in marathons to this day and would be approaching your prime years as an athlete.

That is why few things in life amaze me more than the choice you have made to walk away from all that you could have been to devote your life to helping me accomplish my dreams and making me a success. This is why you bring me so much joy everyday. No one else supports me the way you do; no one cares for me spiritually or physically the way you do. Your joyful support of me and your practice of biblical womanhood is a legacy that I believe will be remembered by our kids and our grandkids and others long after we are gone.

Thanks for having the passions that you do. Thanks for being committed to the tasks of motherhood and not despising the call of God on your life in this season. When I see you changing diapers and preparing meals and buying groceries and folding laundry, I often find my heart flooded with joy and gratitude to God. Your life brings me so much joy! I find myself at a loss for words when I try to thank God for you; I simply cannot thank him enough for your life.

When I think, “Where do I currently see the gospel bearing fruit and growing?” The first place my mind goes is to your life. I can’t believe that even in the midst of being a mother of 2 young boys, you have maintained your Bible–reading plan the way you have and continue to pursue growth in godliness with such exemplary diligence. This degree of commitment to God and his Word is truly rare; I am blessed to have your example and to be able to observe your love for God.

One of the areas of your life I am most excited about is how seriously you take your sin. This past week there have been several times that you have confessed sin to me – sin that I was unaware of – and you did so on your own initiative. This is one of the clearest evidences of humility imaginable. Thank you for keeping such a close watch on your life.

I love you and I’m so happy to be married to you. You are way out of my league and I thank God I get to walk through life with you by my side. It is ironic that the one with greater gifting is called to support the one with lesser gifting, and the one with lesser godliness is called to lead the one with greater godliness.

Your example and your care are irreplaceable. I love you with all my heart.

Yours forever,
Jared.

Random Art from the Mellinger Home

Our 2 boys are Ryle and Ben. We like to draw together. I use only the black crayon; they use the colors. As a father-and-sons team of artists, we find there is nothing that inspires our artistic sensibilities more than Meghan/Mama:















Of course, Meghan/Mama is not the only one to provide such inspiration.

Martyn Lloyd-Jones and Marriage

Editors Note: This week on the Family Life Blog, we are getting a closer look at the Mellingers. Jared and Meghan have joined together to provide us with little windows into their marriage, their family, and their own hearts. Check back each day for the next installment.



Martyn Lloyd-Jones is considered by many to have been the greatest preacher and leader of the 20th century. Meghan and I love him. I mean really love him. We have both worked our way through his 2-volume, 1,000 page biography by Iain Murray, we occasionally read Lloyd-Jones’ sermons aloud to each other, and we even have a picture of him on our refrigerator!

He understood how to apply the gospel to all of life…including marriage. Here he is in his own words talking about Ephesians 5 and marriage:

"How many of us have realized that we are always to think of the married state in terms of the doctrine of the atonement? Is that our customary way of thinking of marriage?. . . Where do we find what the books have to say about marriage? Under which section? Under ethics. But it does not belong there. We must consider marriage in terms of the doctrine of the atonement." (Life in the Spirit, 148)



Our experience in our marriage has been the more we follow this instruction, the more aware we are of God’s grace and the more our love for marriage is intensified. We trust the same will be true with you.

What are We Doing to Our Children?

By reading a wide variety of news stories, you can see God at work in people’s lives in big and small ways and stay informed on what motivates people to do what they do. However, you also run into a boatload of information you wish you didn’t know. I’m going to share some of that with you today.

A recent article reported that a New Zealand judge found two parents guilty of child abuse…for the name they gave their daughter. What was it? Brace yourself…her name was Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii. To make matters worse, the article abbreviates here name as TDTHFH. That poor little girl.

Oddly enough, as I read, a passage of Scripture came to my mind. Ephesians 6:4 gives this caution to fathers: “do not provoke your children to anger.” Other versions use words like “exasperate.”

Now, I’m moving forward believing that none of you have named your children TDTHFH. But, if you’re like me, you are prone to doing things that unnecessarily embarrass your children.

It might be as simple as singing or whistling in public. Maybe it’s a pet name that you use for them around the house…and when their friends are there for a sleepover. It could be the color socks you wear with your sneakers.

But it might be something more profound than that. Perhaps your correction for them in public is needlessly detailed, or loud, or visible. Or maybe you share stories about them that reflect poorly on their character or wisdom.

I’m not characterizing these actions as child abuse. At one point or another, I’ve been guilty of all of them (with the notable exception of the sock-color thing.) However, in light of what we know of the Scriptures, both trivial AND profound actions can exasperate and embitter our children, unnecessarily provoking them.

Where are we to begin in evaluating this element of our parenting? Here are some practical tips:

- Consider each of your children separately. How does his/her personality bend? How have you seem him/her respond to specific things you’ve done or said?

- Once you’ve done this, consider if you can adjust your actions without sacrificing your convictions. Some things may necessarily embarrass our children, like clothing and media guidelines that we give them. However, most of the time, embarrassment is unnecessary and avoidable.

- If you’re courageous enough…ask them what you do and say that embarrasses them. Prepare yourself to avoid being defensive or easily hurt. Also, prepare to discuss alternatives they’d prefer and to seriously consider small adjustments here or there.

There are so many times that difference of opinion is actually necessary. So many times that we will have to oppose their preferences as they grow. It is parental wisdom to look for ways to avoid doing this unnecessarily and to avoid provoking them to anger. They will appreciate it more than you know…and the joy in your home will abound in such an environment of servant grace.