Once a Mom, Always a Mom

Editor's note: The following is a blog post that Cindy passed on written by Sheree Phillips that is from the Metro Life Church blog MetroMoms. It is a bit longer than usual, but worth the read. As Cindy says, “May this blog provoke all of us as Mom's to remember that our lives have been purchased by the Savior and that we have no claim to any our 24/7 - no matter what season of mothering we live in.”

Last Sunday night I spent the evening with my married girls. We included Lauren this time, since she will marry our Joey in a few short weeks. The purpose of the evening was to discuss a wonderful sermon by pastor and author J.R. Miller called, “The Christian Wife.” Although he died in the early 1900’s and the standards and vocabulary can seem a little out of date to today’s sophisticated Christian woman, the truths are timeless, inspiring and convicting. (If you want to get a copy of the sermon follow the link to the MetroMoms blog)

Preparing for this time together with a married daughter, two daughters-in-law, and a future daughter-in-law caused me once again to realize I’m on the back nine. But my heart and desire as a mother remains the same as when my approaching 30 daughter was the age of your little ones. Back then I wanted her to love being a girl. Love God’s wise and loving design in making her distinctly female, with all the responsibilities and privileges that entails. She was surrounded by brothers (until God mercifully gave her sisters some years later) and although she enjoyed playing with match box cars and didn’t mind getting dirty while playing outside, she was all girl.

I wanted her to grow up to embrace godly womanhood. To resist cultural pulls to feminism and resenting her created design to be a suitable helper to a husband and a godly mother to children, should the Lord give them to her. I wanted to do my best to equip her to be an effective home manager.

By God’s grace, Jaime loves being a mom. And now she longs for the same things for Kayla, Annie and Danae that I prayed would be her heart’s desire.

But she still needs the help, encouragement, correction and Titus 2 mentoring of others. At 3 she needed my help to learn to make her bed. At 7 we “used” her baby sister to teach her to bathe, burp and comfort a newborn. At 10 she needed help to understand why lying about cheating on her home school work was a reflection of her sinful jealousy over having to work harder on math than her older brother. At 15 it took time and long talks to help her understand why it was important to be honest with her temptations and sins, even when she was embarrassed. And at 18 she needed help to deal again with those same issues, especially when her lack of humility resulted in needing to apply the gospel when unmortified sin made life rough. (As it does with all of us!)

What am I feeling? I guess I want you to know that what you are doing with your life isn’t just for “this season.” Do you think that once the kids go to school or learn to drive you will have more time for yourself? Do you dream of the days when they will actually respond to your training and stop interrupting, making messes and learn first-time obedience? Realize that laying down your life for your children is a lifetime commitment. The break our culture and our sinful hearts long for will only happen if we give in to the myth of midlife selfishness.

Yes, there are days when I can lounge in the pool for 45 minutes uninterrupted, spend some extra time at lunch with a friend or have a leisurely devotional time without wondering what’s going on in the family room. But according to scripture, my life is not any more my own than yours is. I don’t wake up to nurse babies anymore. I just have trouble falling and staying asleep because I had iced tea with dinner or my hormones are wacky. I don’t get anxious about high fevers or whether I’m doing an adequate job teaching a first grader to read. I battle fearful concerns about whether my kids are adequately battling the worldliness or lust or self-righteousness or discontent that can lead to serious consequences in marriages and families.

I’m here to say that motherhood is a life calling. My role has certainly changed over the decades. What my life looks like is different in many ways. But I remain constrained by the gospel to continue giving my life away to my kids. When the Savior bought me with the price of His sinless blood on the cross, He laid rightful claim to every moment of every day of my life through eternity.

So if you’re waiting for the day when you can “get your life back” (as I recently read one author say about midlife when the kids are grown) please stop. Most of the same sins I battled when I was your age I’m still battling. And the same need I had for God’s strength to give my life away 24/7 then remains my need today.

In fact, it’s time to close this lengthy post. I have wedding rehearsal dinner invitations to address, a youth meeting to attend with 2 of my kids, clothes to move to the dryer, and a son who’s been gone for a week to pick up at the airport.

Lord, thank you for calling me to a life of devotion to others, especially my family. Give me strength to persevere in my battle against the sin that easily lures me to love myself more than I love them. Pour out Your grace on the young moms who are reading this post today. Give them a long term vision for their mothering and protect them from worldly thoughts of getting their lives back. Their lives, and mine, were purchased by you. How foolish to ever want they back!