Are We Really Talking about This Again?

Whether your children are 2, 4 and 6 or 12, 14, and 16 you’ve had this thought more than once. The topics may range from putting down the potty seat to cleaning the bedroom floor…from asking to be excused from the table to how the family defines appropriate clothing. You were clear the first time you explained yourself. You were patient the second time you explained yourself. But now, here we are…are we really talking about this again?

Yep. And you’ll probably be talking about it again tomorrow.

Our children don’t learn the first 10 times we explain something for the same reason we don’t learn the first 10 times that friends, family, and God have explained something to us. We are all members of the same, sorry fraternity / sorority. We’re all still sinners.

By the very nature of that truth, our ears can be slow to hear and our hearts slow to respond. Is this not also true about our children? It is about mine. And, to eliminate any doubt in the spirit of honesty, it’s true about me. So, how’s a parent to respond?

Let’s look at how our Father responds the 16th time He reminds us about something He’s said:

But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. (Psalm 86:15)

God’s responses to us are always for our good and always consistent with love and faithfulness. Does He sometimes allow hardship to accompany our forgetfulness? Yes. “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” (Hebrews 12:6) To what lengths is He willing to go in order to help us incorporate His Truth into our lives? He sacrificed Himself for our sakes.

Our children are going to forget, or even choose not to remember, our instruction. Should that bring negative consequences at times? Certainly. Yet, those consequences should always be for them. Our responses to our children ought to reveal that we are their biggest cheerleaders instead of an ominous warden.

So, the 6th time your 9-year-old leaves his shoes at the top of the stairs or the 9th time your 15-year-old leaves their clothes 3 feet from the hamper or the 22nd time your 4-year-old chews with their mouth open, remember the Fatherly example set for you.

Mercy, love, and grace are possible, even in correction and discipline, when we are submitted to being used by God in the lives of our children. Remembering our own propensity for forgetting is a wonderful place to start. With that humility leading the way, God will pour grace into your 41st conversation about the same thing…He loves to give grace to the humble.