Is Fatherhood a Threat to Masculinity?

So, I’m sitting in the doctor’s office waiting for my turn to be called back through the magic door to wait longer for someone else to walk through another magic door. As I’m waiting, I glance through the array of magazines and come across Parent Magazine.

Right there on the cover of their June ’08 issue was a title that grabbed my attention: The New Face of Fatherhood. I was intrigued. It focused on the fact that fathers are spending more time with their children and thinking more of their children than a generation ago. These seem like good and admirable changes and families are probably better off. Parent Magazine agrees.

As I read on, I encounter the following sub-head in the article: Dad’s: The New Working Mothers.

The article then took a turn toward stay-at-home dads and the merging of gender roles in the home. And I got to thinking: “Is it possible to focus more of your heart and attention at home while still being a man’s man? Do you have to sacrifice masculinity to be an effective dad?”

In seconds, my questions turned to statements as I surveyed the field of men that I know…including the men of this church. These are some of the most masculine men …some of the most godly …and some of the best fathers. And then, finally, I camped on one question: What separates these masculine men from the rest? Here’s what I found:

1. They define themselves the way that God defines them: These guys are first and foremost disciples of Christ…sons of God. Then, they are men. God created them with a gender that God intended for them to live in light of…and these men do that…faithfully.

2. They know what God has called them to do as men: These guys are not just loving and nurturing their children, they are leading them. These same guys lead their homes toward godliness and instruct their homes in the Word. They love their wives, lead their wives, and raise up their children with the purpose of glorifying God.

3. These men are humble in the character but confident in their God: These guys do not possess the age-old bravado that used to characterize manliness. They know they are sinners and live suspicious of their own motives…in parenting, in marriage, and in life. Yet, they don’t allow their pursuit of humility to make them wish-washy. They stand tall and strong as men, not due to some false sense of confidence, but in the true confidence that God has called them to be men.

So, is there a new face to fatherhood? Maybe there is…and maybe that’s a good thing. Is fatherhood a threat to masculinity? No. Not if a man keeps in mind who God has made him to be. I could never love like a mother…and Gina could never love like a father. It would be foolish to try…God has not made to do so. But as fathers and mothers, we can all move forward, in faith, knowing that God will provide the wisdom and strength to love as we ought. Thank God!